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@thejacksonhale
And Everything Went Black || Closed
He just wanted to get a few things to get back to Brooke. He didn't know what had happened to him earlier but he'd never felt this honest with anyone, now when he was packing his shirts when his phone got off, telling him Brooke was on her way into the hospital. The baby was coming!
When Jackson got the message he just sat in his apartment for a few seconds. In shock maybe. He was going to be a father and all the books he had read in how to take care of a child.. he still didn't realise it until he got the message that Brooke was in the hospital now finally giving birth to his... their child. It took a lot for him to get this far. To accept everything around him, to accept that he had feelings for Brooke and that he wanted to have this child with her. She was messed up and she didn't make it easy for him. He'd made a lot of mistakes and she probably didn't forgive any of them, it was hard for him to forgive them himself. Failure was not so much for him and failure was the worst thing in the world. It made you look weak and wrong and when he could turn back time he'd done it differently... maybe. In his mind he would have found another way to get rid of his brother or would have dealt is differently. He couldn't say that he regretted getting a child with Brooke. A part of him was really looking forward to that little boy... but another part.. it was wrong. She didn't want it to be his and he was as stupid and foolish as he'd ever been to fall for this woman. He wasn't like this and it had irritated him for a long time and he'd barely admitted it to himself and would never say it out loud to her.
The message that his child was coming was going to his head though. There would be something that would be his! Something perfect, maybe even more perfect than him, because his son would be pure.. His lips pressed to a thin line he hurried to his car, almost forgot the keys so he had to run back a few steps to get them. It had been raining all week. All day long. It seemed like it would never stop. He didn't have much sight, it was already late and he didn't even know if his child was coming or already out. Nonetheless he hurried and started the car. Driving in direction of the hospital he sped up a little. Going over the speed limit was something he never did when he was out of duty but somehow today it wasn't on his mind to step back. He drove too fast, the streets were basically soaked, his phone was thrown on the passenger seat along with his purse. Another turn and the phone fell on the ground from the passenger seat, even slipped under the seat. Jackson wasn't noticing it until suddenly his phone went off. What if it was Brooke? What if something went wrong? He had to get to it. But instead of being smart and stopping the car to get his phone back up, he tried to get it while he was driving way too fast, in the dark with thick rain in front of him. His hand tangling under the seat, he bend to the side. No one was on this road right now, or he would have already hit a few cars by driving on the opposite lane. His phone wouldn't stop ringing and when he wasn't looking, there was the next curve. And he drove off the road right into the next tree. His car slinging around the tree suddenly, he didn't even notice because suddenly everything was black.
Thats fine. Can you drop me at the Green Dove, I have to put in my leave.
Yes. Sure...
I love you too and I mean that. Come home.
I have to get a few things first.
And you are willing to accept everything that I am? Even Imogen? I need to know..
Oddly... yeah.
We raise him together regardless of us being together or not, Jackson. I already have one kid without a father around and she’s walking target for some crazy person out there. We can make this work, I know that we can. We just have to work together on it. And who knows, we might actually fall back—you love me?
I do..
I know about the mistakes that I’ve made, Jackson and I’ve owned up to them. I’ve apologized for mine. My fuck ups and my mistakes are something that I live with every day, just like my fears of what I could do. But I know that I wont. You don’t get to tell me how I felt, Jackson. Wow.. Mitch and you should really sit down and have a drink and talk about walking away from your children. Never thought that I would ever say that about you, because in the end it isn’t about us, Jackson. Its about him.
Then how is it going to go when I stay? We're not together but we'll have a child? I don't see how that's working. Look.. I never say this, but uhm. I really think I love you.
I wont put our kid through a roller coaster, thats us, Jackson. I never said that you were the worst person in the world. Did I like the fact that you threatened to blackmail me? No. Just like the fact that I hate the fact you did the same to your brother. Yes, I will give you the fact that you have changed but in a way you haven’t. Yes, it meant something to me. I do still wear it. Yes, you are an asshole but you are the father of my child and you are can be a very sweet man at times. And I did love that side of you. I want you in our sons life.
Do we really need to go through the two mistakes I've made in my life over and over? Because when we'd start with yours we wouldn't be done by a long shot. But you know, I don't do that because I don't care about it. I've said I'm sorry, can't do more. You did love... right. I can't stay here like the second man in waiting.
Hey I offered…
I would tell you that I want to be with but that would be a lie and I can’t do that. I wont put a kid through that. How about we discuss the future of our child after he comes out? I want you in his life. I never expected you to change nor want you to change. You are, who you are, Jackson. You are more then good enough, even better than me.
You won't put a kid through what? Through me? You really think I'm the worst person living on this world, aren't you? You made it clear many times. Don't you even see that I already changed. The present I gave you for Christmas! Didn't you think anything of it? Didn't it mean anything to you? No. At the first mistake I make you throw me out. I have three days to decide if I stay or go back to London. Now is the time to discuss it! Not after. Can you make your mind clear now? I'm an asshole but better than you doesn't make any sense to me.
I’ll tell you about, Evan. If thats what you want.
You’ve been acting weird since we kissed again, and I can take a hint. But that doesn’t change the fact that you are the father to our child. Jackson..you are more then good enough when you aren’t being a complete ass.
Don't really think I want to, right now...
I'm acting weird because I like clarity. What's the deal? Yes, I'm the father... but what do you want? Am I just the father and we act like a couple every six weeks? I'm going to get the weekends? Call me an ass all you want, it's not like I'm going to change now. Meaning, live with me being like this... but wait.. then I'm not good enough.. I see.
With Mitch…yes but Evan is another story.
Let me guess. A story you won't tell me.
I don't understand. First you break up, then you want to be with me again and while you were doing that you decided I'm not enough for you after all.
I didn’t take it as one.
Wait, you spent some time around my house? I have friends you know? My daughter lives here sometimes, Mitch the father of Imogen, so naturally we are going to be spending time together. Evan is my boss.
So I'm a fool for thinking there is more to it?
I feel like I;m going too. But thanks for that.
Yeah, sure. Whats going on?
Wasn't meant to be an insult.
Look, I've had loads of time lately, being out of work had been hard for me so... I spent some time around your building.... seen people coming and going. Do you want to tell me something? I mean yeah.. sure we are no real deal, but I think I should know who's gonna be the second daddy of my child.