Every year I write down all the movies I watch and compile it in a long year-end list like this one. Since mid-2016 I’ve used letterboxd.com to keep track of dates and ratings but in 2017 I started recording where I watched each film too (got the idea from Silver Screen Fiend by Patton Oswalt; his list is 4 years and hundreds of movies long). This is about 12,000 words long and it took me a few days to write (and a month to edit apparently) so I don’t really expect anyone to read this all the way through but there are top/bottom 10s and honorable mentions at the bottom if you just want the highlights. Also y’all know these are just my opinions right? Feel free to discuss movies you also saw last year or maybe even give some recommendations if you want to. My watchlist is about 500 movies long and I’m always adding to it. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you in a year.
1/1 – Hell or High Water (2016) – 8 – Home (Ridgecrest) – Directed by David Mackenzie – Written by Taylor Sheridan – Dirty, gritty, and full of brotherly bank robbing, Hell or High Water is a thrilling and morbid look at the lower class rural communities that America is leaving behind and the lengths to which some will go to provide for their families. The line between good and bad is muddled as the exploited seek to take back from the exploiters and as the law (Jeff Bridges) slowly closes in on them. Really exciting and moving film with great performances all around. Highly recommended if you liked Sicario (the darker and more thrilling version of this movie, also written by Taylor Sheridan) or if you like the atmosphere and/or flavor of crime unique to the American Southwest.
1/2 – Frances Ha (2012) – 10 – Home – Directed by Noah Baumbach – Written by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig – One of my top 5 films ever and contender for coziest film of all time, Frances Ha is arguably Noah Baumbach’s magnum opus. This film has been both praised and criticized for its mumblecore-esque dialogue, “quirky” characters, and the seemingly meandering plot in its 86-minute runtime. To enjoy this you really need to be able to empathize with the plight of these privileged white kids in their late 20s as they try to find direction in an inherently directionless time in life. It’s not a film for everyone but it’s everything to the people for whom it resonates. It seems to have a permanent stay on Netflix too so check it out if you have an hour and a half to spare. Also it has Adam Driver playing a privileged art kid living in Manhattan.
1/10 – La La Land (2016) – 9 – Cinemark Lancaster – Directed by Damien Chazelle – Written by Damien Chazelle – “Jacques Demy for the digital age.” If you like LA, golden-age Hollywood musicals, theatre, jazz, Ryan Gosling, and/or Emma Stone then you’ll like this movie. The non-musical parts tend to drag a bit, especially toward the last half of the film, but it’s amazing that movies like this still get released (even if it’s just a huge love-letter to Hollywood).
1/12 – Spirited Away (2001) – 9 – Home – Directed by Hayao Miyazaki – Written by Hayao Miyazaki – A classic that oozes with charm and has some of the best world-building and character designs I’ve ever seen. It receives a lot of praise and deserves every bit of it.
1/13 – Blue Ruin (2013) – 8 – Home – Directed by Jeremy Saulnier – Written by Jeremy Saulnier – An amazing and gruesome thriller from the same guy who made Green Room. If you get tired of protagonists seemingly always knowing what to do or only encountering minor setbacks placed there simply because they need to be there then I feel like you’ll like this movie. The revenger must often deal with obstacles he creates himself and that’s where much of the tension and excitement comes from (but don’t take my word for it since I haven’t seen it in a year). Is very good film though.
1/16 – Prisoners (2013) – 8 – Home – Directed by Denis Villeneuve – Written by Aaron Guzikowski – A slow burn suspense thriller about Hugh Jackman’s daughter being kidnapped and Jake Gyllenhaal having to find her. This movie is extremely fucked up and it could’ve been amazing if not for some parts toward the end that feel rushed. It’s definitely worth your time though, everything by Villeneuve is.
1/17 – Ratatouille (2007) – 8 – Home – Directed by Brad Bird and Jan Pinkava – Written by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, and Brad Bird – Probably my favorite Pixar movie. The music, voice acting, designs, writing, etc are all great obviously since this is pre-shitty Pixar (though hopefully the slump is over what with Coco’s success and Incredibles II coming soon).
1/22 – Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) – 10– Oak (Chico home) – Directed by Steven Spielberg – Written by Lawrence Kasdan, George Lucas, and Philip Kaufman – The best Indiana Jones movie and arguably the greatest action/adventure film of all time. Hell, it’s one of the greatest movies of all time. The pacing (understandably) takes a hit after the basket chase and no one remembers the u-boat scene but otherwise it’s perfect.
1/22 – Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) – 7 – Oak – Directed by Steven Spielberg – Written by Willard Huyck, Gloria Katz, and George Lucas – The worst of the original Indy trilogy but still good. Darker than Raiders but somehow cheesier than Crusade, and that’s not even mentioning the casual racism, although you could definitely argue that it’s being racist to satirize the serials of the 1930s. Or maybe it’s just racist because it was the 80s.
1/23 – Silence (2016) – 8 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Martin Scorsese – Written by Jay Cocks, Shûsaku Endô, and Martin Scorsese – This movie is long and completely joyless; a two and a half hour slog of Christian missionaries being tortured and killed in horrific ways that make you question faith and the lengths to which some will go to do what they believe is right, no matter the suffering it may cause. This film is great because it’s Scorsese but don’t expect good vibes.
1/25 – Split (2016) – 5 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by M. Night Shyamalan – Written by M. Night Shyamalan – Terribly overrated, depressing, and lame. If you do decide to see this, make sure you watch M Night’s good movies first since this is a sequel and the “twist” of this one is basically a huge fuck you to anyone who didn’t. James McAvoy was amazing but it’s pretty much the only worthwhile thing about this.
2/9 – Frances Ha (2012) – 10 – Nord (old Chico apartment) – Directed by Noah Baumbach – Written by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig – Fun fact, this was my most watched movie in 2017.
2/9 – Captain Fantastic (2016) – 8 – Nord – Directed by Matt Ross – Written by Matt Ross – There are pacing issues but this movie is a solid 8/10. Wonderfully heartfelt performances, lovable characters, and a beautiful story. The poster makes it look like a Wes Anderson / Little Miss Sunshine rip off but it’s not that at all. Definitely check this one out.
2/10 – 20th Century Women (2016) – 9 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Mike Mills – Written by Mike Mills – Oh wow I love this movie. So so so so good. This coming of age story is about Annette Bening, Elle Fanning, Greta Gerwig, Lucas Jade Zumann, and Dr. Manhattan living in Santa Barbara in the late 70s just living their lives. It’s nostalgic and it’s beautiful and please see this.
2/15 – Superbad (2007) – 8 – Nord – Directed by Greg Mottola – Written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg – A true classic. I watched this for the first time on an iPod Nano in 2008 and had to be real sneaky about it because I knew my parents wouldn’t let me watch it. Definitely a defining film of the 2000s and one that’ll be remembered fondly.
2/15 – Knowing (2009) – 5 – Nord – Directed by Alex Proyas – Written by Ryne Douglas Pearson, Juliet Snowden, and Stiles White – This movie combines an interesting premise with some seriously disturbing disaster visuals and a not-the-worst performance from our boy Nic Cage. I actually really enjoy this movie and aside from pacing/writing issues and a questionable ending it's not even that bad.
3/12 – Kong: Skull Island (2017) – 5 – AMC Disneyland – Directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts – Starring Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, John Goodman, and John C. Reilly – This movie is a total schlock-fest and it’s fun as hell. Super fun action, cool creature designs, a dope setting, and John C Reilly is a god among men. On the flip side, the first 20 minutes kind of suck, the pacing is INSANE, the characterization is terrible, and the love-story was half-assedly shoehorned in but if you like over-the-top ridiculous bullshit then you’ll fucking love this movie because that’s all it is.
3/17 – Hot Rod (2007) – 7 – Home – Directed by Akiva Schaffer – Written by Pam Brady – One of the best comedies of the 2000s. Legitimately hilarious and super well written. Cool beans.
3/19 – Midnight in Paris (2011) – 5 – Oak – Directed by Woody Allen – Written by Woody Allen – I used to love Midnight in Paris but upon re-watch I noticed there are really just a few excellent scenes surrounded by terribly lazy writing. I love the themes and the depictions of the modernists but the writing is typical phoned in Woody Allen bullshit. Woody Allen retire bitch.
4/1 – The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) – 9 – Nord – Directed by Wes Anderson – Written by Noah Baumbach and Wes Anderson – Starring Bill Murray, Anjelica Huston, Cate Blanchett, Willem Dafoe, Owen Wilson, and Jeff Goldblum – Gets better every time I watch it. It’s definitely up there with Anderson’s best even though Grand Budapest or Tenenbaum usually overshadows it. Wonderful soundtrack.
4/2 – Get Out (2017) – 8 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Jordan Peele – Written by Jordan Peele – Relevant, funny, and poignant; This only gets better on re-watch because the script is tight as fuck and there are small things that only make sense in hindsight. Also I never realized before but there’s a very good reason the protagonist is a photographer and the thematic significance of black bodies also can’t be ignored. A very well written movie and I can’t wait to see what Jordan Peele has in store for the future.
4/6 – The Discovery (2017) – 5 – Oak – Directed by Charlie McDowell – Written by Charlie McDowell and Justin Lader – The worst Black Mirror episode you could possibly imagine: very interesting premise with a terribly flawed execution. Really it’s just boring and that’s the worst thing it could be. Also why is Jason Segel in this?
4/17 – The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) – 4 – Nord – Directed by André Øvredal – Written by Ian B. Goldberg and Richard Naing – The first hour was enjoyable and suspenseful but by the end I really didn’t give a shit. Very meh and wastes Emile Hirsch and an ok premise.
5/9 – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) – 6 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by James Gunn – Written by James Gunn – Back in May people were saying this is better than the first Guardians and I have no idea what movie they watched because this is blatantly awful in comparison. 80% of the action scenes are fun and engaging but the other 20% are I-want-to-go-home levels of boring. The emotional moments were certainly much better than the first but the jokes are much worse BY FAR. “Haha nipples haha turds hahaha trash panda huehuehue.” The jokes that land are hilarious but when they fall flat they fall hard. The pacing of this thing is baffling as well with short periods of insane action and long periods of nothing but failed emotion baiting and baby groot being a fool. I sleep. I do think the plot was more interesting than the first and Yondu’s story was awesome but this could have been much better. It wasn’t, but it definitely could’ve been.
5/12 – Don’t Think Twice (2016) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Mike Birbiglia – Written by Mike Birbiglia – Starring Keegan-Michael Key, Gillian Jacobs, Mike Birbiglia, Kate Micucci, and Chris Gethard – This is about a bunch of improv comics struggling with their failures and insecurities in the failing Brooklyn improv scene while one of their troupe makes it big and joins the cast of SNL. I don’t want to say anything else because there’s not much else without spoilers but you should watch this if you like comedy/comedians/improv. Pros: Written by Mike Birbiglia. Cons: Lena Dunham cameo.
5/20 – Possession (1981) – 10 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Andrzej Żuławski – Written by Andrzej Żuławski – This movie is completely insane and it fucking rules. It’s impossible to articulate anything about this movie because it’s a totally evil and fucked up cosmic horror film that relies on atmosphere and makes less sense the closer you look at it. I highly recommend this film but be prepared to leave with a ton of questions and no answers at all.
5/21 – Prometheus (2012) – 6 – Nord – Directed by Ridley Scott – Written by Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelhof – People give this movie too much shit. I loved this back in 2012 and thought the idea of the engineers creating humanity then coming back and trying to kill them was very interesting. 5 years later I’m not totally sold on the execution but the characters are great despite their stupidity and the premise is a fun exploration into the Alien universe. I re-watched this in preparation for Covenant thinking it would be necessary but no it didn’t matter at all.
5/23 – Alien: Covenant (2017) – 5 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Ridley Scott – Written by Jack Paglen, John Logan, Dante Harper, and Michael Green – “I’ll do the fingering.” This movie is ridiculous. The first 45 minutes or so are great and harken back to a time when Ridley Scott movies weren’t synonymous with schlocky garbage, but then it devolves into typical thoughtless action-horror. Don’t expect any questions from Prometheus to be answered and don’t expect any questions from this one to be answered because by the end of the film nothing matters. Fassbender is far and away the best part of this and the action is really cool if you don’t think about it. Really, both Prometheus and Covenant are good movies if you don’t think about the things that make them bad. Like at least they’re entertaining.
5/24 – I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore (2017) – Nord – Directed by Macon Blair – Written by Macon Blair – Starring Melanie Lynskey and Elijah Wood – A fun Netflix original by Macon Blair, the protagonist of Blue Ruin and Nazi dude in Green Room. This almost seems allegorical in how it depicts those who do violence, those who oppose violence by any means necessary (even going as far as to commit violence themselves), and those who oppose violence regardless of intent or justice. It’s shot pretty well and it’s good to see Elijah Wood and Melanie Lynskey back together again (Over the Garden Wall).
5/24 – The Iron Giant (1999) – 9 – Nord – Directed by Brad Bird – Written by Ted Hughes, Brad Bird, and Tim McCanlies – A classic and a cornerstone of my childhood. One of the best animated films of all time hands down. RIP John Mahoney :(
5/27 – Alien (1979) – 8 – Nord – Directed by Ridley Scott – Written by Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett – I need to watch Alien again because I feel like other people see more in it than I do. It’s great but it’s underwhelming and I expected more from it (didn’t affect my rating). It’s better than the new films but something about it didn’t work for me I guess. I’ll watch it again in 2018.
6/2 – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) – 5 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg – Written by Jeff Nathanson and Terry Rossio – I didn’t hate this movie. Weird pacing in the first half, the plot was much looser than previous Pirates films, and the actual climax with the mcguffin was terrible BUT there were some really cool sequences and great locales/sets. I’d venture a guess that most of the budget for this went to the sets and Johnny Depp. There are really no surprises here and if you liked any of the other Pirates movies you’ll probably enjoy yourself. It’s better than the previous two. Also that one shot with the stars on the island was incredible.
6/3 – Wonder Woman (2017) – 6 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Patty Jenkins – Written by Geoff Johns, Allan Heinberg, Zack Snyder, and Jason Fuchs – The best DCEU film and a cool WWI film but there are MANY problems. Regarding the good; this movie had fun characters, the whole beginning part on the island looked beautiful, and Gal Godot and Chris Pine are wonderful. I also rather liked the first half or so. As for the bad—there’s a lot of it. The framing device is god-awful, the CGI is laughably bad, there’s an HOUR of exposition upfront in which nothing happens, an entire German battleship disappears after they kill 30 guys on the beach and is never brought up again or explained, there’s an overuse of slow mo making the CGI look even worse, every shot off the island (even the ones in broad daylight) look like they were filmed through limo tint, and the third act is a mess. But the biggest problem I have with this film is that Diana never learns from her mistakes and is almost too naïve to be likeable. She’s doing her own thing the whole movie trying to get to Ares specifically and then when the third act comes we realize oh none of it even mattered and Chris Pine is the one who actually saves the day. DC is straight up incompetent.
6/5 – The Void (2016) – 4 – Home – Directed by Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski – Written by Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski – Cool Lovecraftian themes, some awesome practical creature effects and designs, and seriously disturbing imagery marred by a boring script and wholly uninteresting characters. This could’ve been good if the cosmic horror elements were fleshed out more but this movie is pretty lame as is.
6/6 – Chris Chan Documentary – 6 – Home – Directed by Josh L (Sachumo) – Written and Edited by Josh L (Sachumo) – Christian Weston Chandler (known as “Chris Chan”) is a 33 year old high-functioning autistic internet celebrity/punching bag known for his “countless anti-social episodes and traumatic events in his life. From public outbursts to assault of property and people, these events have eaten away at his very sanity.” I first learned about Chris Chan through memes and people doing impressions of his distinctive voice but I later learned about the man, the meme, the legend and became curious to find out more as many who discover him do. Chris is basically what happens when those with autism or other mental disabilities don’t receive the help they need at an early enough age and then discover the Internet where they find themselves at the mercy of a population disconnected from the consequences of their actions. Chris is probably most well known for his creation of Sonichu, an OC character that is a hybrid between Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu, but he’s probably equally well known for engaging with the trolls who have harassed him for well over a decade. If you’d like to learn more about Chris Chan I recommend checking out this movie, the Chris Chan Documentary: https://youtu.be/bXjnakAlF-s or this Down the Rabbit Hole episode about Chris: https://youtu.be/5IPtLvxO8hs OR the best version; the Chris Chan Lecture: https://youtu.be/vFOIauPQ5XI
6/19 – It Comes at Night (2017) – 7 – Christiana Cinemark Newark, DE – Directed by Trey Edward Shults – Written by Trey Edward Shults – I love the concept of the audience only knowing as much as the characters; it gives the film a sense of immersion you don't get with other horror suspense films. Despite that I don't think this lived up to its potential so it was a bit disappointing imo. They could've done more with it but for what it is I think it's completely fine. I don't think it's fair or sound to judge a movie based on expectations vs. result so I won't do that here but I think they could've gotten away with a little more plot. I'll probably never watch it again but I enjoyed it and would recommend it fur sure, especially if you like what a24 has released previously.
6/19 – Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) – 2 – Hockessin, DE – Directed by Roland Emmerich – Written by Dean Devlin, Roland Emmerich, Nicolas Wright, James A. Woods, James Vanderbilt – This movie sucks so bad I purged it from my brain.
6/20 – The Mummy (2017) – 3 – United Artists Philly – Directed by Alex Kurtzman – Written by Christopher McQuarrie, David Koepp, and Dylan Kussman – I didn’t hate this movie but I did get bored around the second or third round of expository monologue. Tonally inconsistent and, at times, what seemed like an inexplicable combination of two different movies. There were the parts about the Jekyll SCP-esque society for containing evil, which I thought was pretty cool, but then there were the parts about the actual mummy, which I couldn’t have cared less about. I think everyone did a fine job here with what they were given except for Jake Johnson whose delivery was ridiculously terrible for some reason lmao
6/29 – Life (2017) – 4 – Home – Directed by Daniel Espinosa – Written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick – Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, and Ryan Reynolds – I literally just wrote a list as I watched so here are the most important thoughts I guess: the score is extremely generic, some really dodgy CGI in places, the characters are idiots, I got bored and looked at the time and there were still 45 minutes left oh god, they refuse to kill the alien even when they have the chance, and my final thought was “glad I didn’t pay money to see this.” I also said “I liked when Calvin smacked into the door like a cartoon.” Haha that part was good. Still better than The Cloverfield Paradox.
6/29 – Crimson Peak (2015) – 8 – Home – Directed by Guillermo del Toro – Written by Matthew Robbins and Guillermo del Toro – The sense of place and atmosphere in this film is remarkable. Some seriously spooky imagery and ghost design and the camera work is delicious. Love the sets, love the performances, and love the genre. Goddamn that’s some good shit right there.
6/30 – The Beguiled (2017) – 9 – Arclight Hollywood – Directed by Sofia Coppola – Written by Thomas Cullinan and Sofia Coppola – Starring Colin Farrell, Nicole Kidman, Kirsten Dunst, and Elle Fanning – Incredible sound design, cinematography, atmosphere, tension, and performances. Most shots could be framed and hung on the wall and every scene had such a thick sense of place you could reach out and grab it. Worst thing were some of the accents at times but god damn everything else was near perfect. It’s downright disgusting how slept on this movie was.
7/3 – Cars 3 (2017) – 7 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Brian Fee – Written by Robert L. Baird, Daniel Gerson, Kiel Murray, Bob Peterson, Mike Rich, Brian Fee, Ben Queen, Jonathon E. Stewart, and Eyal Podell – Here’s my letterboxd review from the day I saw Cars 3: “Never thought I'd be able to empathize so well with anthropomorphized cars. Uh so I really enjoyed this movie and it's much better than Cars 2. Glad they toned town the Mater involvement and when they did include him his jokes landed pretty well so he was actually fun in this one. The pace was lightning fast for the first act but the 2nd and 3rd were pretty good and the climax was pretty intense even though I knew exactly what was going to happen. This movie looks fucking incredible and some of the shots looked close to photorealistic. The lighting especially was so fucking choice dang. Can u tell I love Pixar movies?”
7/6 – The Thing (1982) – 10 – Home – Directed by John Carpenter – Written by Bill Lancaster and John W. Campbell Jr. – Arguably one of the best horror films of all time and a personal favorite of mine. Practical effects are life. It’s just perfect. The second watch later this year has more info about it so read that one too.
7/9 – Despicable Me 3 (2017) – 6 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Kyle Balda and Pierre Coffin – Written by Ken Daurio – This was fun. The animation looked pretty good and Trey Parker was pretty hilarious in every scene he was in, although I couldn't help my cynicism and notice how transparent some of their decisions for this installment were. Dr. Nefario is frozen in carbonate because I'm guessing they couldn't get Russell Brand again and they included a ton of 80s stuff to cash in on the whole stranger things / 80s nostalgia craze. Even with these things in mind they still wrote a more than coherent plot around it so whatever I won't fault them even though they weren't very subtle about it. There were 2-4 separate plots going on at any given time but it worked because it kept the movie flowing well. The minions were ok but they didn't do much. Pacing was pretty good and I was surprised to find out it was only like 1h25m. If you liked the other ones you'll like this one.
7/10 – The Big Sick (2017) – 8 – Ventura Downtown 10 – Directed by Michael Showalter – Written by Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon – Starring Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Holly Hunter, and Ray Romano – Fucking incredible. I used to love comedy—I still do but I used to too—and if you love comedians like I do then you will probably love this film as well. Kumail's story is hilarious as it is heartbreaking and it completely subverts the romantic dramedy format that Apatow films are known for. Someone recently criticized Apatow films for running about 20 mins too long and I definitely felt that with this one too (less so on rewatch). Still works even if it feels a bit overlong. Anyway yeah throw all your fucking money at this film. Stories like these deserve to be told and, most importantly, seen. 1000 congrats to Kumail and everyone else involved.
7/14 – Aliens (1986) – 7 – Home – Directed by James Cameron – Written by James Cameron – I really don’t know why Alien is such a successful franchise. The first Alien is great, Aliens is good but not great, and the rest are shit in comparison. I can barely remember anything about this movie and this isn’t even the first time I’ve seen it. Perhaps it is not for me. All I can remember is Bishop’s knife trick (WHAOOOOOOAOAAOOHHH WHAOOAOAOAOHHHHHH WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHH) and Newt saying “they moostly come at night,, moostly”
7/15 – Baby Driver (2017) – 7 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Edgar Wright – Written by Edgar Wright – Overrated. The deaf representation, synchronized soundtrack, and performances are great but this is the weakest film Edgar Wright has done imo. The pacing is weird and it doesn’t always make sense given the character motivations and also Kevin Spacey is in a movie called baby driver. Kinda forgettable in hindsight.
7/17 – The Big Lebowski (1998) – 10 – Oak – Directed by Joel Coen – Written by Joel and Ethan Coen – Starring Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, and Philip Seymour Hoffman – A lot of people don’t like this movie and I feel like it’s because the comedy is derived from the characters instead of actual jokes and gags. These people are hilarious and the characterization is absolutely incredible so by the end of the movie you should be completely on board with the chaos that is the Big Lebowski. Absolutely masterful writing and directing because it’s the coen bros.
7/18 – Friday (1995) – 5 – Oak – Directed by F. Gary Gray – Written by DJ Pooh and Ice Cube – Starring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker – This was the first time I watched Friday and now I know where all the annoying piece of shit kids in middle school got all their references. This movie is pretty funny though so I don’t blame em.
7/20 – The Green Inferno (2013) – 3 – Oak – Directed by Eli Roth – Written by Guillermo Amoedo and Eli Roth – This gets worse every time I watch it so why the fuck do I keep watching it. The only thing this movie has going for it (if you can even say that) is that the gore is legitimately fucked up. Honestly this movie would work pretty well if it went the dark and gritty Cannibal Holocaust route but it’s just so ridiculously stupid and tonally inconsistent.
7/22 – Dunkirk 70mm IMAX (2017) – 10 – Ontario 22 – Directed by Christopher Nolan – Written by Christopher Nolan – What I’d imagine a perfect movie looks like. Maybe it’s because I saw this in 70mm IMAX but this film is incredible. It doesn’t feel like it should be but it really is that good. The biggest complaint I’ve seen about this has been about the lack of characterization, which is very obviously not the point of this movie at all and shouldn’t be taken into consideration when critiquing it. The characters are not the point. You don’t need a lull in the action where 5 people gather around a campfire and talk about their lady back home like every single other shitty melodramatic war movie since the beginning of time. This isn’t Saving Private Ryan; it’s fucking Dunkirk. It’s a mad dash through land, sea, and air to survive. It’s tense, it’s moving, and it’s pure suspense and thrills from start to finish. One of the best movies of the year no doubt about it. Seeing it in IMAX was a revelation.
7/23 – Enemy (2013) – 8 – Home – Directed by Denis Villeneuve – Written by José Saramago and Javier Gullón – This movie is crazy. Just watch it without looking up anything about it I promise it’ll be better that way. And make sure you pay attention from start to finish to get the best experience because there’s tons of symbolism (spiders and webs etc). I’d think this would get better on rewatch if the first viewing wasn’t so insane.
7/29 – Dunkirk 70mm IMAX (2017) – 10 – Regal Hacienda Crossings 20 – Directed by Christopher Nolan – Written by Christopher Nolan – It was even better the second time.
8/1 – The Prestige (2006) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Christopher Nolan– Written by Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan, and Christopher Priest – Even though I rated Dunkirk higher I’d say this is Nolan’s best work. Everything has a purpose and everything is important. “Are you watching closely?” Only complaint is that there’s something about this that feels cheesy but that might just be a Nolan thing.
8/2 – Spider-Man 2 (2004) – 6 – Oak – Directed by Sam Raimi – Written by Alvin Sargent and Stan Lee – Not nearly enough Spider-Man in this Spider-Man movie. Also it’s cheesy as hell because 2004.
8/3 – Jackass: The Movie (2002) – 6 – Andrew’s House – Directed by Jeff Tremaine – Written by Jeff Tremaine, Johnny Knoxville, and Spike Jonze – Like it or not, jackass is culturally significant and a perfect snapshot of the MTV crowd in the early 2000s. This is my childhood and I’m happy the newer generations are still watching this stuff.
8/4 – Mattress Man Commercial (2003) – 8 – Home – Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson – Starring Philip Seymour Hoffman – A comedic short featured on the 2-disc DVD of Punch-Drunk Love, released in June 2003: https://youtu.be/fkeLGisUHtc
This is actually a parody of this original mattress man commercial: https://youtu.be/Fsro18nP3mg
8/7 – The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948) – 8 – Home – Directed by John Huston – Written by John Huston and B. Traven – Starring Humphrey Bogart, Walter Huston, and Tim Holt – Great movie about greed and humanity. It’s no wonder Paul Thomas Anderson named this as an inspiration for There Will Be Blood. Kinda slow but worth it in the end. Required viewing as far as Bogart movies go. I don’t remember it very well to be honest.
8/8 – Gangs of New York (2002) – 7 – Home – Directed by Martin Scorsese – Written by Jay Cocks, Steven Zaillian, and Kenneth Lonergan – Daniel Day-Lewis is amazing in this, Leo is alright in this, and Cameron Diaz—well I guess my question is, can you recast someone’s part in a 15 year old movie? I heard great things about Gangs but it really didn’t live up to the hype and felt very dated, which is something we’re going to be seeing a lot of from late 90s/early 2000s films as time goes on. I have the book but I still need to read it. I absolutely love stuff about the history of Manhattan.
8/9 – Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) – 10 – Home – Directed by Stanley Kubrick – Written by Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, and Peter George – The best performance(s) from Peter Sellers and without a doubt one of my favorite endings of all time. If you haven’t seen this yet then you’re missing out.
8/9 – Clapping for the Wrong Reasons (2013) – 8 – Home – Directed by Hiro Murai – Written by Donald Glover – Starring Donald Glover, Trinidad James, Danielle Fishel, Flying Lotus, Abella Anderson, and Chance The Rapper – A surrealist short film by the renaissance man himself, Donald Glover. It follows a day in the life of ‘The Boy,’ a character Donald Glover created for his rap persona Childish Gambino to go alongside his 2013 album “Because the Internet.” The haunting cinematography by Hiro Murai, director of Atlanta, and the score by Gambino create an atmosphere that I fucking can’t get enough of. Also Gambino and Chance the Rapper have a pushup contest and you can watch the whole film here: https://youtu.be/Z_bONLcE8IA
8/10 – Casablanca (1942) – 10 – Home – Directed by Michael Curtiz – Written by Julius J. Epstein, Philip G. Epstein, and Howard Koch – There’s a reason Casablanca is regarded as one of the greatest movies of all time and has somehow remained in the pop culture for over 75 years. A beautiful and moving film that’s more relevant than you think. vive le france, vive la démocratie.
8/11 – Annabelle: Creation (2017) – 4 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by David F. Sandberg – Written by Gary Dauberman – Hot take: both Annabelle movies are hot garbage. The script is laughably bad, the directing is ok, and the last act was exciting enough to be enjoyable. I like how it tied into the Conjuring universe but the writing was so bad that I honestly felt like I could write a better script and that’s not good. Also I kept forgetting this wasn’t Insidious. At least possession cures polio.
8/16 – Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) – 6 – Oak – Directed by Steven Spielberg, Joe Dante, John Landis, and George Miller – Written by George Clayton Johnson, John Landis, Richard Matheson, and Rod Serling – Starring Albert Brooks, Vic Morrow, John Larroquette, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Scatman Crothers, and Rod Serling – I had to include that all-star cast. I think I’m biased because the Twilight Zone is a huge part of my childhood and continues to be, mostly through New Years marathons and Netflix background streaming, but I enjoy this movie quite a bit. Twilight Zone the show is amazing. The movie is fine. John Landis is a murderer.
8/17 – Paths of Glory (1957) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Stanley Kubrick – Written by Humphrey Cobb, Stanley Kubrick, Calder Willingham, and Jim Thompson – Starring Kirk Douglas – I watched this on a whim at 2 am and it was great. Also I didn’t know Kirk Douglas was in this movie until I looked it up afterwards.
8/18 – Chinatown (1974) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Roman Polanski – Written by Robert Towne – Starring Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway, John Huston, and Roman Polanski – Chinatown is extremely good and the history behind it is actually pretty interesting. I occasionally listen to a podcast called ‘You Must Remember This’ all about Hollywood history in the 20th century and one of the episodes centering around Roman Polanski talks about Chinatown and its production quite a bit. The original script was written by Robert Towne, was 180 pages long, and had a different ending but Polanski cut down and reordered the plot then changed the ending, causing Towne to leave the project. This is also Polanski’s reluctant return to American film after the Tate murders of 69. Roman Polanski die bitch.
8/20 – Watchmen (2009) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Zack Snyder – Written by David Hayter, Alex Tse, and Alan Moore – Watchmen was the last film I watched before the fall semester started and it caused me to have the first of many existential crises/breakdowns that would continue up to the end of 2017. Moral of the story this was not a good way to start the fall semester but Watchmen is fucking awesome. The graphic novel is even better but I still appreciate the film. Can’t wait to watch the Extended Director’s Cut in 2018.
8/21 – Operation Avalanche (2016) – 5 – Oak – Directed by Matt Johnson – Written by Josh Boles – Starring Matt Johnson, Owen Williams, and Jared Raab – I heard about this from YourMovieSucks.org I think and it was ok. I fell asleep watching it like 3 times so I don’t remember it well enough to talk confidently about it but I remember the ending was underwhelming. It’s basically about these filmmakers in the 60s who learn that the US is probably going to lose the space race to Russia so, after seeing Kubrick’s front projection technology, they’re hired to fake the moon landing for the US government. Super interesting premise but flawed execution. They actually shot the NASA scenes on location after they told them the equipment was for a student documentary.
9/1 – Apocalypse Now (1979) – 10 – Oak – Directed by Francis Ford Coppola – Written by John Milius, Francis Ford Coppola, Joseph Conrad, and Michael Herr – Starring Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall, Frederic Forrest, Laurence Fishburne, and Harrison Ford – What the fuck even is Apocalypse Now. This movie feels like a comedy in spots and a shadowy fever dream in others and it all somehow works. Either Coppola is a genius or the editors are. I still need to watch the documentary about the making of this (Hearts of Darkness) but I’m sure it’ll end up on next year’s list and that question will be answered.
9/2 – Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Steven Spielberg – Written by Jeffrey Boam and Menno Meyjes – Starring Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Denholm Elliot, Alison Doody, and River Phoenix – Mitch I finally got to finish watching the OG Indy trilogy; it only took 8 months. This is my favorite Indiana Jones movie because it balances the serious with the fun/cheese really well. Technically speaking, Raiders is the best Indy movie hands down but it isn’t quite as rewatchable as Crusade imo and Temple is insanely dumb and annoying in comparison. Crusade hits that sweet spot, making it one of those movies that I always need to sit down and finish if I see it on TV.
9/3 – There Will Be Blood (2007) – 10 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson – Written by Paul Thomas Anderson and Upton Sinclair – One of my favorites of all time and arguably one of the best movies ever made. This film is literally perfect. Thrilling, dark, and evil, Daniel Day-Lewis disappears into the role of Daniel Plainview and Paul Dano gives an incredible performance as Eli. Goddamn this movie is so good I’m so happy I got the chance to see it in the theater this time. Paul Thomas Anderson is my favorite director and everything he touches is a masterpiece.
9/8 – It (2017) – 5 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Andy Muschietti – Written by Chase Palmer, Gary Dauberman, Stephen King, and Cary Fukunaga – I was expecting a horror movie because they marketed this as a horror movie but it is not a horror movie. It tries to be a dozen different 80s films and fails at being any of them. Complete tonal disaster. Is it a raunchy comedy? Is it a horror film? Oh no it’s Stranger Things! Wow John Hughes! 1980s! Do you remember the 1980s? They were over 30 years ago now isn’t that crazy? Buy tickets to our movie.
If this was billed as a dark comedy I would’ve liked it more but when it’s actually a lame horror film with no tension or effective scares then how could it not be disappointing? To be completely honest I would have walked out about halfway through if I hadn’t seen it with friends. The praise this movie received is honestly baffling to me; it’s a total piece in every department except for Finn Wolfhard making dick jokes.
9/10 – The Room (2003) – 1 – Clay Theater San Francisco – Directed by Tommy Wiseau – Written by Tommy Wiseau – I HIGHLY recommend seeing this in the theater at a midnight showing because I have never laughed harder in my entire life and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I knew I had to see this again to prepare for The Disaster Artist but a midnight screening is the only way to experience this movie. Tommy Wiseau is an inspiration to us all.
9/12 – Grave of the Fireflies (1988) – 10 – CSU Chico Ayres 106 – Directed by Isao Takahata – Written by Akiyuki Nosaka and Isao Takahata – They screened this as part of the University Film Series at Chico and boy is it sad as fuck. The story is told in an unconventional way and it’s extremely effective. High recommend but don’t expect to do anything afterwards.
9/14 – mother! (2017) – 8 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Darren Aronofsky – Written by Darren Aronofsky – BALLS TO THE WALL INSANITY HOLY SHIT. I had an absolute blast seeing this in the theater because I had NO idea what to expect and wow this movie really delivered on blowing my expectations into orbit. Sure, Aronofsky is pretentious and his knowledge of allegory could be summed up by a one-word 72-pt font bold synopsis that reads, “HAMFISTED.” Sure, there’s an extremely unnecessary and possibly disturbing part for women that occurs towards the last half. Sure, this is just a weird but not-boring adaptation of Rosemary’s Baby. Sure all these things, but this movie is fucking insane and there’s much more to this than “loll bible allegory.” There are at least TWO other extended metaphors you could reasonably interpret from this story and that’s the main reason why this isn’t a pretentious piece of shit.
9/16 – Night of the Living Dead (1968) – 8 – Oak – Directed by George A. Romero – Written by George A. Romero and John A. Russo – I wrote my last long post about how influential and amazing this film is because it really is that good. In a vacuum this is probably a 6 or 7 out of 10 but considering what it did for the horror genre it deserves an extra star or two.
9/16 – Dawn of the Dead (1978) – 8 – Oak – Directed by George A. Romero – Written by George A. Romero – This is what people describe when they think of a zombie apocalypse, or at least this is what most people envision; locking yourself in a mall or store with everything you’d ever need and waiting/fighting it out. The sheer joy the characters experience as they scavenge the stores and slap the shit out of some zombies is super relatable and everyone is extremely likeable. With some legitimately hilarious moments and a few genuine scares, Dawn is a solid entry in the Dead franchise. Side note: I love that the Romero Dead films are very critical of capitalism. Gives me the warm fuzzies.
9/17 – Paris, Texas (1984) – 10 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Wim Wenders – Written by Sam Shepard and L.M. Kit Carson – One of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen. The colors, the shot composition, and the acting—my god what an incredible movie. I was lucky enough to catch a screening of this at the Pageant in Chico but unfortunately it was a rather sad occasion since Sam Shepard and Harry Dean Stanton both passed within 2 months of this screening. Shepard was my favorite playwright and he will be sorely missed. Also a lot of the highway scenes are shot along the 395 and you can even see the old Kramer Junction Astro Burger looking exactly the same in 1983 as it does now. RIP Harry and Sam <3
9/19 – Day of the Dead (1985) – 9 – Oak – Directed by George A. Romero – Written by George A. Romero – Ok I thought the first two Dead movies were good but this is be far my favorite. It feels much more focused that the first two and is probably the best example of realism in the trilogy. In the first two there were many moments where the characters seemed like they were almost trying to be caught by zombies but in this one the survival feels much more natural. The enclosed setting, with its tight hallways and small underground rooms, makes for deaths that feel inevitable rather than forced. And the practical effects dude, holy shit. I thought The Thing had great practical effects but wow this movie is gruesome. It almost makes me regret calling the gore in Dawn of the Dead “gnarly.” The gore in Day of the Dead makes the gore in Dawn of the Dead look like the gore in Night of the Living Dead. This movie kicks ass.
9/19 – Embrace of the Serpent (2015) – 8 – CSU Chico Ayres 106 – Directed by Ciro Guerra – Written by Ciro Guerra and Jacques Toulemonde Vidal – This was part of the University Film Series at Chico and tells the story of a “life-transcending friendship” between Karamakate, a lone Amazonian shaman, and two scientists 40 years apart who both go into the jungle looking for a rare psychedelic plant to help them. Filmed almost entirely in black and white, this was a hard look at the disappearance of the indigenous culture at the hands of industrialization and religion. It’s really depressing to think about all the stories lost to time because of greed but these are the kinds of stories that need to be told to make people aware of that fact.
9/21 – The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – 10 – Oak – Directed by Tobe Hooper – Written by Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper – One of the best horror films ever made. Absolutely oozing with death and grit—the unknown actors, detailed sets, and somewhat naturalistic way of shooting create a feeling of realism not present in many other films. It just feels fucking evil and a lot of that comes down to the atmosphere since the story is quite simple. If you haven’t seen it then you need to. It’s required viewing for horror fans.
9/24 – Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) – 3 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Matthew Vaughn – Written by Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman – The first Kingsman was an enjoyable parody of Bond films but this one was essentially a parody of the first Kingsman. In other words, THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS HOOOOLY SHIT. They just stopped caring; they really don’t give a shit anymore. From the ps2 game cutscenesque CGI to the fucking claw machine sports stadium prison thing seriously what the fuck is this garbage. The suspension of disbelief needed to enjoy this movie is impossible to attain and I just don’t know why this exists. How is the audience supposed to care about anything when you’ve literally cured death? They removed all stakes from this movie just to get Colin Firth back and then spoiled his return in all the marketing; it’s just baffling. [Extremely Stefan voice] this movie has everything; cartoon car chases, vaginal walls, Chekhov’s Elton John, Republican claw machines, heroin overdoses, and Channing Tatum reprising his role as Magic Mike for ¼ of this 8 minute screen time. Oh hey did you see that bar fight scene from the first one? Get ready to see that about 5 more times but boring. Oh hey did you like the doin-it-in-the-butt joke from the first one? Well you’re in luck because this is just as lowbrow but for the entire film! Fuck this movie and fuck Matthew Vaughn for creating this cancerous waste of money and time. I pray to any and every deity that we will never see a Kingsman 3.
9/26 – Psycho (1960) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Alfred Hitchcock – Written by Robert Bloch and Joseph Stefano – Wow! What a reveal. I wish this hadn’t been spoiled by pop culture because this would’ve been such a fun ride to follow. Knowing all the twists dampens the effect but by god the direction is incredible. Hitchcock truly is a genius filmmaker. The way the events unfold is so satisfying.
9/27 – Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Philip Kaufman – Written by W.D. Richter and Jack Finney – Legitimately terrifying. The way it’s shot makes it feel like the movie knows something you don’t and the genuinely upsetting imagery and sounds throughout make this such a weird and surreal journey. The practical effects are awesome and the ending is insane. Definitely the best Body Snatchers adaptation.
9/29 – Ingrid Goes West (2017) – 5 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Matt Spicer – Written by David Branson Smith and Matt Spicer – Starring Aubrey Plaza, Elizabeth Olson, O’Shea Jackson Jr, and Wyatt Russell – A total takedown of social media culture. Ingrid is an extreme example of how social media normalizes over sharing and voyeurism, allows for and encourages total curation and bastardization of self-image, and how it rewards mental illness. It’s a numbers game and Ingrid is #killingit. Jk but I found the commentary in the first half to be especially effective and hilarious. It’s just so ridiculous but horrifyingly relatable—like Spring Breakers for social media but not as good (and if you didn’t like Spring Breakers then this movie is better if only because it’s not nearly as esoteric). Worth a watch if ur millennial scum like me.
10/1 – The Fog (1980) – 6 – Oak – Directed by John Carpenter – Written by Debra Hill and John Carpenter – I had no idea this was a ghost pirate movie. Felt like it had potential that it failed to reach by being so small scale and just kind of lame in general. Sorry if ghost pirates aren’t lame to you but this really didn’t leave a lot to the imagination once the threat was revealed and the scares were okay at best. It was good for what it was. Felt kinda Goonies tbh.
10/4 – The Thing (1982) – 10 – Oak – Directed by John Carpenter – Written by Bill Lancaster and John W. Campbell Jr. – Jesus Christ look at Kurt Russell’s fucking hat. Something unusual about this film is that we learn how the thing works pretty much immediately after it becomes known. In fact, we learn quite a bit about it. The establishing shot is a UFO crashing and we get the burned thing at the Norwegian station. After the kennel scene we learn the thing digests beings, absorbs them, then imitates/transforms. They discover the actual UFO then find out the thing can absorb and imitate from a single cell—spelling certain doom for all living things on earth if left alive. Really the horror in this film is so effective because the characters aren’t idiots. They learn a considerable amount about the thing (thereby establishing rules) but it doesn’t really help them survive. Plus, it’s damn near invincible. These elements plus the practical effects easily carry this into top horror films of all time territory. But seriously what’s up with Kurt Russell’s fucking hat
10/13 – I Love You, Man (2009) – 8 – Oak – Directed by John Hamburg – Written by John Hamburg and Larry Levin – I love this movie, man. A seriously underrated and endlessly quotable late 2000s comedy about bro-love and jamming to Rush. Hell yeah.
10/14 – The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – 9 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Tobe Hooper – Written by Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper – I got to see this in the theater and holy shit I HIGHLY recommend it.
10/19 – Pi (1998) – 5 – Oak – Directed by Darren Aronofsky – Written by Darren Aronofsky, Sean Gullette, and Eric Watson – This is Darren Aronofsky’s debut film and it’s extremely weird and unsettling. Fitting that a story about losing your mind trying to predict the future using math and numbers would make you feel like you’re going crazy while watching it. It’s worth checking out next time it shows up on Netflix if it sounds interesting or if you like other Aronofsky movies like Requiem for a Dream or mother!
10/21 – Suspiria (1977) – 8 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Dario Argento – Written by Dario Argento, Thomas De Quincey, and Daria Nicolodi – This movie is odd. The lighting is absolutely astounding, the music is legitimately awesome, the actors are bad, the dubbing is TERRIBLE, but it all works because it’s a horror film and all these elements make it feel like a movie from another planet. Horror-fantasy done marvelously right. Can’t wait to watch more Argento movies. Seeing this in the theater was a revelation.
11/8 – Blade Runner: The Final Cut (1982) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Ridley Scott – Written by Hampton Fancher, David Webb Peoples, and Philip K. Dick – A marvel of production design. It took me a while to get through this because it’s so slow (not a bad thing) but it’s absolutely worth it for the beautiful world, bleak yet cozy atmosphere, and one of the best ending monologues ever put to film. If you’re going to watch it, make sure you watch the Final Cut even though Ridley Scott is a total hack and insists on undercutting the very themes that make this movie great by inserting scenes to entertain fan theories that came after the fact. Luckily, even Ridley Scott can’t ruin this. He can ruin everything else he touches but he can’t touch Blade Runner. (I would like to clarify that Ridley Scott is a great visionary and director, just a bad storyteller)
11/8 – Blade Runner (2049) – 9 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Denis Villeneuve – Written by Philip K. Dick, Hampton Fancher, and Michael Green – Move over Toy Story 2, this is the best sequel ever made. I had always heard great things about Blade Runner so on November 8th I decided to watch Blade Runner and 2049 back to back on the last day it was in the theater. On this very rainy day I put BR: Final Cut on, after it was done I went to a local ramen place and ate noodles while looking out into the neon-lit street, then I went to the theater for a 2.5+ hour sequel that I had only heard great things about. Even with moderate to high expectations and a very unfortunate bathroom break I was completely blown away. Denis Villeneuve is one of the best directors working today and Roger Deakins does some of his best and most creative work on this movie. Just fucking incredible (because Ridley Scott wasn’t involved). If you’ve seen Blade Runner you NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE. It’s so so so so good and I can’t wait to see it again.
11/10 – Boogie Nights (1997) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson – Written by Paul Thomas Anderson – Starring Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, John C. Reilly, Julianne Moore, Thomas Jane, Heather Graham, Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy, and Don Cheadle – Had to include the cast again because look at the sheer talent Paul Thomas Anderson is able to attract. One of my favorite films of all time and absolutely incredible for only being PTA’s second film, Boogie Nights is a true masterpiece in every sense of the word. Everyone is great in this—even Mark Wahlberg, though maybe that’s because he plays an inexperienced actor with an inflated ego. Even though it feels too long I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
11/14 – Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Jon Watts – Written by John Francis Daley, Jonathan M. Goldstein, Erik Sommers, Chris McKenna, Christopher D. Ford, and Jon Watts – The first half is my favorite spider-man movie by a considerable margin. There are a ton of flaws and feels overlong in the second half but Vulture is a great villain and everyone is great. This is what a spider-man movie should be.
11/21 – Lady Bird (2017) – 9 – Ventura Downtown 10 – Directed by Greta Gerwig – Written by Greta Gerwig – The best coming-of-age film because it’s such an honest depiction of life in your late teens told through a series of disjointed, chronological vignettes. It’s just extremely good and I don’t know what else to say. I guess I could say: Greta Gerwig? More like Better Greta Oscar.
11/22 – Thor: Ragnarok (2017) – 8 – Ventura Downtown 10 – Directed by Taika Waititi – Written by Craig Kyle, Christopher Yost, Stephany Folsom, and Eric Pearson – This movie is hilarious. Taika Waititi absolutely steals the show in every scene he’s in and this is clearly the best marvel movie since Guardians of the Galaxy. Just pure fun from start to finish.
11/23 – Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987) – 8 – Ojai – Directed by John Hughes – Written by John Hughes – I’ve been wanting to watch this on Thanksgiving for years now so I’m glad I was finally able to because now I know where all those references came from.
11/24 – Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) – 8 – Century Riverpark 16 – Directed by Martin McDonagh – Written by Martin McDonagh – I really liked this initially but some people made some pretty good points that I can tell will definitely sour this on rewatch. I bought it the first time but I don’t think I’m going to be able to the second time. It’s definitely tone-deaf (makes sense since it wasn’t written by an american but takes place in the american south) but I’ll need to watch it again to comment accurately on it and update the rating. I really liked this when I saw it though and it’s one of the better movies of the year if you don’t think about the characterization. I do think the “real people don’t talk this way” argument is fucking stupid though.
11/30 – The Boss Baby (2017) – 2 – Oak – Directed by Tom McGrath – Written by Marla Frazee and Michael McCullers – 100th movie of the year! Lmao this movie is bad and the protagonist Tim is a piece of shit. The kid has a perfect family life with his 3 stories, 4 hugs and 5 ego strokings every night and then he acts the fuckin fool when boss baby comes around and his parents have to,, idk,, take care of a fucking baby?? Like first of all, imagine being a kid with a broken family and being so excited to see your biennial movie in the theater and the first thing you see is this spoiled-ass kid with the most obnoxiously perfect life ever depicted. I had a pretty great family life and I felt shitty watching this so I can’t imagine what most kids seeing this would think. Then when boss baby literally strolls up to the house, Tim gets extra hella buttmad over dumb bullshit and it makes him the most incredibly unlikeable character like why is he the protagonist.
Absolutely nothing in this movie makes sense and it’s batshit insane. They were too cheap to 3D animate like half the dream sequences in the first quarter of the movie, instead using a hybrid 2D/3D drawn style that changes styles between each sequence, so I was always confused what was real and what was actually happening. You’re led to believe that there’s a modicum of reality outside of the dream sequences but then the boss baby shows up and he’s definitely real and wearing a suit for real so like this universe completely blurs the lines between subjective and objective but ONLY SOMETIMES and just expects you to accept that the movie is written like shit.
Also there’s a ton of boss baby ass in this movie. No one asked for implied anal penetration in the first ten minutes and no one wants to see some boss baby powder ass-slap bullshit or a puppy muzzle-deep inside the boss baby’s asshole while he’s wearing the skin of a dog. NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS. Then the pacing is so baffling that I literally thought the movie was going to end and it was only HALFWAY OVER. It’s lightning fast until about 30 minutes in when it skrrts to a slow crawl. There are two finales, a pedophile in a dog costume, a plan to distribute hundreds of immortal puppies all over the world by literally throwing them from a rocket, and references (steals from) lord of the rings, every Pixar movie, raiders of the lost ark, and minions. Then the movie just sort of ends with boss baby and Tim becoming gay dads before setting up a Boss Baby Lady sequel. Also the pedophile steals a baby. Also also the music was done by HANS ZIMMER.
This movie,,,,,, is extremely bad but it was so funny (often unintentionally) so I’d recommend it if you want to laugh at a ridiculous kids movie. I won’t fault a children’s film centered around a talking baby in a tiny suit for being ridiculous but I will fault it for being totally incoherent and needlessly stupid when other animated films manage just fine.
12/6 – The Dark Knight (2008) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Christopher Nolan – Written by Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan, and David S. Goyer – This is probably the best Nolan Batman movie but it definitely has the problems present in most Christopher Nolan movies. Tonal inconsistencies and plot holes galore but “it’s a comic book movie so whatever.” The last half gets kind of muddy and I’m wondering if an 8 is too high but it’s arguably the best Batman film ever made and it definitely has the highest highs of the Nolan Batman trilogy so whatever.
12/17 – The Disaster Artist (2017) – 6 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by James Franco – Written by Scott Neustadter, Michael H. Weber, and Greg Sestero – The only good things about this are James’ performance as Tommy Wiseau and the little lines from the Room peppered throughout this to show that Tommy is just as wacky as the Room’s script would lead you to believe. Uninspired camerawork and a plot that doesn’t begin to do the actual story justice. In the end this exists as nothing more than a bitter reminder that we will never get a proper Disaster Artist adaptation. Why James Franco, why?
12/19 – Call Me by Your Name (2017) – 9 – Arclight Sherman Oaks – Directed by Luca Guadagnino – Written by James Ivory and André Aciman – One of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen. Romantic, heartfelt, honest, and it has not one but TWO Sufjan Stevens songs.
12/20 – Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) – 5 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Rian Johnson – Written by Rian Johnson – As far as technical achievements go, The Last Jedi is awesome and it looks incredible. All the action is fun and intense as hell and it’s enough to keep most people from realizing how poorly written this movie is. Even the coolest space battle can’t save this from being a failure in creating tension or making sense on the most basic of levels.
I originally had a LONG and scathing review but it was really mean spirited and I don’t feel comfortable posting it so I’ll just say I liked it when I saw it but the plot, dialogue, writing, and editing fell apart the moment I started thinking about it. The plot of this movie only works because the characters are written to be complete idiots and every conflict is so contrived that nothing matters. There’s no stakes and no tension because Disney Star Wars movies NEED to have quippy dialogue that undercuts all dramatic tension because they think it’s a marvel film. Because of this, the First Order is a non-threat who aren’t taken seriously at all. In the first 6 movies we were supposed to fear the Empire and the Sith and the dark side but every time any Rebels die in this we have BB-8 zipping around like a fool to remind us to not give a shit about any of this because it doesn’t matter. None of the decisions any of the characters make matter and the entire Finn and Rose plot happens for no reason (and SPOILERS, gets everyone killed because of their stupidity, which they don’t learn from or reference ever again because nothing matters). I honestly think Rian Johnson should have gotten past the first or second draft of the script before he started filming but hey, what do I know. It’s full of plot holes, anachronisms, and cringe dialogue and it’s just a badly written. It’s too bad you can’t judge the quality of a film based on how “fun” it is.
On the flip side; Kylo Ren, Rey, Luke, and Poe actually had character arcs and everything involving them was great and the lightspeed jump scene was the coolest shit even though it was completely unearned. Overall a deeply flawed film that’ll probably get retconned in the very near future what with its relative box office failure and the impending bomb of Solo. Call me crazy but maybe placing one of the most anticipated movies from one of the most well known franchises into the hands of a single dude wasn’t a good idea. It’s certainly a mistake Disney won’t make again.
12/22 – La La Land (2016) – 9 – Home – Directed by Damien Chazelle – Written by Damien Chazelle – I love this movie.
12/22 – Bright (2017) – 3 – Mike’s House – Directed by David Ayer – Written by Max Landis – “There’s boring, there’s bad, and then there’s ‘Bright,’ a movie so profoundly awful that Republicans will probably try to pass it into law over Christmas break” –David Ehrlich. Paper-thin premise that attempts to set up the logical extension of “what if medieval fantasy but modern” without thinking for more than 5 seconds about what that kind of universe would actually look like or the major implications therein. It’s formulaic, predictable, and fails terribly at trying to comment on racism but it was super entertaining and fun to mock with friends so I give it a 3/10. Max Landis retire bitch.
12/23 – Coco (2017) – 8 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Lee Unkrich – Written by Adrian Molina, Matthew Aldrich, Lee Unkrich, and Jason Katz – Wow Coco is so good! A major return to form for Pixar and I definitely almost cried. Definitely see this ASAP.
12/23 – The Meyerowitz Stories (2017) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Noah Baumbach – Written by Noah Baumbach – Starring Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson and Grace Van Patten – This movie was great. High recommend if you like Noah Baumbach or Woody Allen type movies or want to see Adam Driver say, “SUCK A DICK OH GOD” and Adam Sandler yelling, “just let me eat my FUCKING BANANA.” One of the best Netflix Originals by far.
12/24 – The Peanuts Movie (2015) – 7 – Home – Directed by Steve Martino – Written by Bryan Schulz, Craig Schulz, and Cornelius Uliano – This movie is delightful and stays true to the art style of Peanuts while using 3D animation in a fun and innovative way that looks beautiful. Solidly enjoyable despite the contemporary pop songs that will date this horribly in years to come.
12/24 – Zodiac (2007) – 8 – Home – Directed by David Fincher – Written by James Vanderbilt – I can’t believe it took me this long to see Zodiac. Solid film with solid acting and a solid story. Gyllenhaal, RDJ, and Mark Ruffalo were great and if you haven’t seen this I highly recommend it just because it’s David Fincher and it’s kind of required viewing at this point.
12/26 – The Shape of Water (2017) – 8 – AMC Thousand Oaks – Directed by Guillermo del Toro – Written by Vanessa Taylor and Guillermo del Toro – This was not at all what I was expecting and that’s a really good thing. Color is a big part of this so pay attention to that and make sure to see this when you can. It’s kind of cheesy (as all Del Toro films are) but it comes off as stylization, which makes it more than tolerable.
12/27 – Phantom Thread 70mm (2017) – 9 – Arclight Hollywood – Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson – Written by Paul Thomas Anderson – Starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Lesley Manville, and Vicky Krieps – The score is beautiful, the performances are great (as if there were any doubts), and for the most part I didn’t know what the hell was going to happen but I liked how it panned out. My heart was pounding during the climax and I’m happy we’re seemingly getting more of the PTA lovers-linked-across-space-time stuff. I’ll definitely need to see this again next year. My only complaints were that there weren’t enough tracking shots and not enough giant cowboy hats. (It gets even better on rewatch holy shit it’s SO good the second time)
12/29 – Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) – 6 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Jake Kasdan – Written by Chris McKenna, Scott Rosenberg, and Jeff Pinker – This movie was pretty fun. If you’re wondering, it’s completely its own thing aside from the name and it really translates well to a video game. I’m delighted this wasn’t a total piece of shit tbh. Also very thankful for the surprise cameo that could have easily been spoiled by the marketing but wasn’t. That’s super rare.
12/30 – Wind River (2017) – 8 – Home – Directed by Taylor Sheridan – Written by Taylor Sheridan – Someone told me this movie sucked when it came out so I never saw it in the theater and I regret it now. This movie is good but real fucked up so be prepared. Like a modern western but in Wyoming and by the same guy who did Sicario and Hell or High Water. It deals with the stealing of native lands as well, which is extremely underrepresented in films (hmmm I wonder why).
12/31 – The Lego Batman Movie (2017) – 7 – Home – Directed by Chris McKay – Written by Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Seth Grahame-Smith, Jared Stern, and John Whittington – This movie looks amazing! The first half is noticeably better than the second but it’s really good and all the meta-humor is fun. It’s definitely not as good as the Lego Movie but it’s pretty alright.
12/31 – World of Tomorrow Episode Two: The Burden of Other People’s Thoughts (2017) – 8 – Home – Directed by Don Hertzfeldt – “It was not its fault it was an insect; an incomplete creature without any backup copies. All of its experiences are gone forever. We can never know them. If there is a soul, it is equal in all living things. We all cling to the same brief, flickering windows in the infinite darkness... except for clones. Clones are better.” This was just what I needed to end 2017: a thoughtful look at consciousness, memory, and the burden of being alive and searching for relevancy. 2017 was a year of reflection so hopefully 2018 brings more contentedness and less depressive nihilism.
107 – Star Wars: The Last Jedi
110 – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
114 – Annabelle: Creation
116 – Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Honorable Mentions: Frances Ha, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Spirited Away, Possession, The Thing, The Big Lebowski, Dr. Strangelove, Casablanca, Chinatown, Apocalypse Now, Paris Texas, Texas Chainsaw, 20th Century Women, Enemy, The Prestige, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Watchmen, There Will Be Blood, mother!, Day of the Dead, Suspiria, The Room
Final thoughts: This year I did relatively well, watching 39 more movies than last year. Depression killed my motivation to watch things and then I was extremely busy with school in October so I wasn’t able to do some of my intended short term goals like watch a movie every day in September or 31 horror films in October. My goals for next year are to watch even more (shooting for 150 but we’ll see) and to start knocking out a considerable number of old movies on my watchlist since I tend to watch newer things. As far as taste goes I’m a total pleb but it’s mostly because I gravitate towards easily accessible films, which skews modern. I didn’t get around to a bunch of movies released this year like Kedi, Logan, Raw, The Blackcoat’s Daughter (it was okay, also not released in 2017), The Little Hours, A Ghost Story, Good Time (good movie, NOT a good time), The Florida Project, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Square, Murder on the Orient Express, Justice League, or I Tonya (it was okay) but I’m sure I’ll get around to em in 2018.
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