I can barely believe you surprised me today. I didnt expect something so soon, especially today.
I was very blue this morning - slept in and slept well-ish. I woke up and talked to Chris for a good while about him helping Paige get to your service. (she ended up not needing it) and the ceremony itself. He loved you. As a duo, we LOVED you. He was going to go early to help your mom and everybody set up - that wonderful man. He knows exactly how much of a tragedy is is that the earth lost a force like you. Anyway...
I was just going to fuck around my dads house and clean and head to some of the local shops to get some of the necessities for their place - napkins, napkin holders, new kitchen towels, etc. Just to make this awesome house a bit more homey.
i got a facebook message from an element of my past, Christopher Garten - a friend/romantic interest from the wonderful months of my 15th year. He saw I was in Clermont and he was just an hour away - so last minute despite my reservations I agreed to meet him at a half way point for lunch - simple enough.
I met him after a nerve-racking ride in my dads Saab that is notorious for its mechanical issues. Despite its cry for coolant i continued on my way. I paid for gas, and the 4 Florida tolls despite it being just 40 minutes away, and met you in the outside patio of an Applebee's that to my relief was still in business - (since i picked the place and called to get a dead phone line after he was on his way i figured we'd encounter that issue when we got there.) I was very relieved that i made it and there was an actual applebees to meet at.
Now, I really didnt know this person very well when i did know him in the first place, considering the last time we really even spoke it was 6 years ago. That means that the 4th of July that i kissed him it was 2007. Despite this somewhat awkward fact, i guess we just hoped for the best and took a friend when they were very few and far between here in this Sunshine State.
He smoked probably 7 cigarettes in the 2 hours we hung out. I had 2 drinks, he had 6 beers. He had quite a lot going on in his life - i believe i listened to his side before I threw mine in there. As most people with more than bullshit to talk about, we bullshitted first. About tattoos, jobs, places to live. etc. We were getting deep in this conversation, to my relief. Luck was on my side and he was a man of substance, intelligence, faith, and spirituality. Despite everything going on in his life, he remained so hopeful. Harder than Jake in many ways, but just as loving to those close to him. My most hopeful thoughts go out to him and his loved ones. They are innocent and do not deserve what they are going through. <3
When it came my time to share the ugly bits, I told him all about Brendan, our only connection to eachother (unfortunately a negative conversation) and we both hold tremendous hope that he comes down here and, being faced with this entirely different situation, chooses to get it together. He having this Christopher Garten would be amazing from my perspective. I then got into the crux of my life right now, the loss and realizations ive had regarding my lovely Jakeface. and my god, what happened then truly was amazing.
He quoted Bashar. Word.For.Word.
We were speaking about his passing on, about his new adventure and how i hoped he would have some time to visit me someday- and somewhere in all of this he says: "The one is all and the all is one."
He might as well have punched me in the face, and i didnt hide it very well.
Somehow, when i was feeling so far from where it was all important, feeling the weight of my absence from the ceremony going on without me; the source of my new-found peace found me again! All the way out in Florida and in a person i have not been close with since before i was an "adult".
Im telling you, it was no coincidence. This was no "oh thats just weird" moment. Jakes favorite thing in all of things, synchronicity found me when I felt farthest from the magic. My god, it is truly amazing.
Thank you Jake - I told him all about you, we're both happy that you've moved on to the real adventure though we're sad we didnt get to dick around with you in this life a little longer. Until then! I love you<3
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