The Katz Motel

Welcome back to the Katz Motel. I'm Katz.

[auncle-squishy]

Pinkamena bit her lip nervously. What was he going to do? What kind of mess had she gotten herself into? But if he kicked her out, her only choices were to leave her fate to whatever trouble was out there, or go back to the trouble she knew at home.

"…Fine."

[thekatzmotel]

"Excellent." Katz began pacing in wide circles around Pinkamena. "Now, I assume you have no skills or talents that are of any interest to me whatsoever. So I suppose I’ll have to use you as a sort of all-purpose maid. Make the beds, clean the rooms, maybe work in the kitchen, that sort of thing. just leave my basement alone. Oh, and don’t bother dusting. That ship has sailed."

[auncle-squishy]

"Ugh… And what do I do about… this?” she asked and held the rat by its tail.

[thekatzmotel]

"Ech..." He snatched the rodent from her hand and held it with it's claws by it's neck. "I'll take care of this. You go back to sleep. And do not wake me again."

[thekatzmotel]

He let out an annoyed groan, “I don’t care about the rodent you neon nimrod, why, oh why was i woken up at god knows when in the morning by your howling!?” He punctuated his sentence by pounding the ceiling with his fist, causing dust to shower the girl below.”

[auncle-squishy]

She dropped the rodent to wipe the dust off her face and replied, “I had to get him to be quiet somehow!” And then it occurred to her: “You’re not gonna kick me out, are you?”

[thekatzmotel]

"Eugh…" Katz rubbed his temples before scuttling off a few yards and finding a sufficiently wide but still impossibly narrow gap in the boards that made up the ceiling. He squeezed an arm through, then another, then, in some extra-euclidian nightmare of a maneuver, his head. At that point he simply let his weight work for him and pour him through the gap. He landed in front of her, on his feet with his arms crossed, and smugly satisfied. "I’ll tell you what. I’ll overlook this little interruption on one condition: you work for me for the remainder of your stay."

[auncle-squishy]

Pinkamena bit her lip nervously. What was he going to do? What kind of mess had she gotten herself into? But if he kicked her out, her only choices were to leave her fate to whatever trouble was out there, or go back to the trouble she knew at home.

"…Fine."

[thekatzmotel]

"Excellent." Katz began pacing in wide circles around Pinkamena. "Now, I assume you have no skills or talents that are of any interest to me whatsoever. So I suppose I'll have to use you as a sort of all-purpose maid. Make the beds, clean the rooms, maybe work in the kitchen, that sort of thing. just leave my basement alone. Oh, and don't bother dusting. That ship has sailed."

[thekatzmotel]

He let out an annoyed groan, “I don’t care about the rodent you neon nimrod, why, oh why was i woken up at god knows when in the morning by your howling!?” He punctuated his sentence by pounding the ceiling with his fist, causing dust to shower the girl below.”

[auncle-squishy]

She dropped the rodent to wipe the dust off her face and replied, “I had to get him to be quiet somehow!” And then it occurred to her: “You’re not gonna kick me out, are you?”

[thekatzmotel]

"Eugh..." Katz rubbed his temples before scuttling off a few yards and finding a sufficiently wide but still impossibly narrow gap in the boards that made up the ceiling. He squeezed an arm through, then another, then, in some extra-euclidian nightmare of a maneuver, his head. At that point he simply let his weight work for him and pour him through the gap. He landed in front of her, on his feet with his arms crossed, and smugly satisfied. "I'll tell you what. I'll overlook this little interruption on one condition: you work for me for the remainder of your stay."

[thekatzmotel]

"Eugh…" Katz was roused from his sleep by that relentless banging on his ceiling. No doubt that pink idiot had woken up and ran through the halls for no reason other than to spite him. Typical of the kind of ingrate that so often blew through his motel. With another groaning sigh, Katz dragged himself through the cobwebs and dust along the grey dirt floor until he found the slightly depressed floor that squeaked loudly with every subtle movement. He crawled toward the false wall and stood, is ribcage compressed between the false wall and the real one, and peered through a tiny gap in the boards. "What do you think you’re doing?” he said in an angry stage whisper.

[auncle-squishy]

Pinkamena stood there, frozen and speechless and afraid with the rat still in her hands; Gummy, meanwhile, took a more active approach and waddled behind her. “I— Um, I—” The poor girl barely think, let alone speak. She fiddled with the vermin between her fingers and wasn’t sure what to do with it now. She just stood there stupefied and trembling.

[thekatzmotel]

Katz let out a soft growl. He decided he would get his revenge on this loudmouth little techinicolor tart for while he had the chance and scrambled up the inside wall until he reached the dropped ceiling, and squeezed himself through the narrow boards. “Answer me!” He demanded from directly above her.

[auncle-squishy]

She flinched and lifted the bloody rat above her head so he could see. “But it wasn’t my fault!” she cried, “He wouldn’t stop talking, and then he bit me, and I just—lost it!”

[thekatzmotel]

He let out an annoyed groan, "I don't care about the rodent you neon nimrod, why, oh why was i woken up at god knows when in the morning by your howling!?" He punctuated his sentence by pounding the ceiling with his fist, causing dust to shower the girl below."

[thekatzmotel]

"Eugh…" Katz was roused from his sleep by that relentless banging on his ceiling. No doubt that pink idiot had woken up and ran through the halls for no reason other than to spite him. Typical of the kind of ingrate that so often blew through his motel. With another groaning sigh, Katz dragged himself through the cobwebs and dust along the grey dirt floor until he found the slightly depressed floor that squeaked loudly with every subtle movement. He crawled toward the false wall and stood, is ribcage compressed between the false wall and the real one, and peered through a tiny gap in the boards. "What do you think you’re doing?” he said in an angry stage whisper.

[auncle-squishy]

Pinkamena stood there, frozen and speechless and afraid with the rat still in her hands; Gummy, meanwhile, took a more active approach and waddled behind her. “I— Um, I—” The poor girl barely think, let alone speak. She fiddled with the vermin between her fingers and wasn’t sure what to do with it now. She just stood there stupefied and trembling.

[thekatzmotel]

Katz let out a soft growl. He decided he would get his revenge on this loudmouth little techinicolor tart for while he had the chance and scrambled up the inside wall until he reached the dropped ceiling, and squeezed himself through the narrow boards. "Answer me!" He demanded from directly above her.

[thekatzmotel]

Katz, meanwhile, watched his new guest disappear down the hall, and sighed. Of course she couldn’t pick a room in view. In hindsight, buying all of the locks to fit the same key wasn’t the time saver it appeared to be. He made his way down the hall, pressing his ear against every door until he heard the sounds of her breathing and that strange… gurgling noise of that reptile. 124 was the number in chipped paint on the door frame. He made note of it, then went back to his usual post in the crawlspace beneath the trapdoor behind his desk.

[auncle-squishy]

It was past midnight when Pinkamena felt something tickling her nose and woke her up. When she opened her eyes, the rat sniffing her sat up straight and said politely, “You really ought to leave, you know.” “What makes you say that?” she yawned, thinking she was still dreaming. The rat frowned and bit her nose to jostle her to life. “Ow! Why you—”

"Sorry," he said, "but I needed to make sure you were listening."

Rubbing her nose, she replied, “I am now. Why should I leave?”

"Creepy stuff happens in Nowhere." The rat looked around nervously with wide eyes and twitchy whiskers. "You should go back where you came from."

"Maybe I don’t want to go back," she replied, getting mad now at such a nosy rat, ruining her sleep and getting involved in things he shouldn’t. Pinkamena rolled over and pulled the covers over her and pretended to go back to sleep.

The rat frowned, impatient and indignant. He was only trying to help; he knew how things worked around here. He scurried close and bit her hard on the ear. “Go, home!" he barked and immediately regretted his decision when the now enraged pink-haired stranger jumped to her feet and tried to grab him. He ran off the bed and, somehow, under the door and into the hall. She followed suit and swung the door open with a mug in hand (provided on the dresser across the room and sitting next to a small coffee machine) and chased the pesky rodent through the dark and sketchy motel.

"I’m only trying to help!" he squeaked, having carelessly run himself into a corner. "Just go home!"

"I can’t go home!" she hissed; whatever this stupid rodent was trying to warn her about, it couldn’t be worse than the family and gloomy farm life she left behind. Absolutely nothing could be worse than that, she thought. Still the rat kept protesting and pleading with his paws over his head and eyes shut tight with fear. "Shut up!" she screamed and flung the mug at him. It hit him square in the head and knocked him against the wall. It shattered and a high-pitched squeal was cut short when he died almost instantly; it didn’t take long for the blood staining his gray floor to trickle down into a puddle and stain the floor.

An ordinary rat was lying dead on the ground next to a broken and bloody-stained mug and now Pinkamena didn’t know what to do about it. “Oh God, I killed it,” she whispered. “I killed it, I killed a poor innocent rat.” She started to cry. She didn’t mean to kill it! But he wouldn’t stop talking, it—it was his fault! Now she would have to leave for sure, and with no place else to go but home… Maybe she could hide it! Gingerly, carefully, she picked it up and stood there dumbstruck. She looked around half-blinded by tears for some solution but found Gummy by her feet with his head tilted.

"Go away," she pleaded in a hushed and shaky whisper. "Mommy’s trying to think. Oh God, oh God, what do I do…"

[thekatzmotel]

"Eugh..." Katz was roused from his sleep by that relentless banging on his ceiling. No doubt that pink idiot had woken up and ran through the halls for no reason other than to spite him. Typical of the kind of ingrate that so often blew through his motel. With another groaning sigh, Katz dragged himself through the cobwebs and dust along the grey dirt floor until he found the slightly depressed floor that squeaked loudly with every subtle movement. He crawled toward the false wall and stood, is ribcage compressed between the false wall and the real one, and peered through a tiny gap in the boards. "What do you think you're doing?" he said in an angry stage whisper.

[auncle-squishy]

"There’s a city? I’ve been walking around forever and haven’t seen anything!" she replied. She glanced at the ledger and added, "Which room is mine?"

[thekatzmotel]

"It’s a fair bit away in… that direction." He pointed to his left without looking up, "As for your room, eh…" He took a key from the hooks on the wall and dropped it in front of her, still without looking up, "Pick one."

[auncle-squishy]

Pinkamena didn’t think he was actually busy with anything, but didn’t care to say something about it. So far this “Katz” person—cat—wasn’t the friendliest, and so wanted to interact with him as little as possible during her stay. She took the key and dragged her things down the hall until she picked a room at random, unlocked the door, closed it behind her, and fell on the bed lying on her stomach.

[thekatzmotel]

Katz, meanwhile, watched his new guest disappear down the hall, and sighed. Of course she couldn't pick a room in view. In hindsight, buying all of the locks to fit the same key wasn't the time saver it appeared to be. He made his way down the hall, pressing his ear against every door until he heard the sounds of her breathing and that strange... gurgling noise of that reptile. 124 was the number in chipped paint on the door frame. He made note of it, then went back to his usual post in the crawlspace beneath the trapdoor behind his desk.

[auncle-squishy]

"There's a city? I've been walking around forever and haven't seen anything!" she replied. She glanced at the ledger and added, "Which room is mine?"

[thekatzmotel]

"It's a fair bit away in... that direction." He pointed to his left without looking up, "As for your room, eh..." He took a key from the hooks on the wall and dropped it in front of her, still without looking up, "Pick one."

[thekatzmotel]

"Well shit...you're back."

"Back? I never left. Well, I went to tend to the resort for a bit but i never really left."

[auncle-squishy]

"Hmm... Do you put chocolates on pillows?" she asked. "Oh! Also--" Pinkamena lifted her leg and showed him the alligator gnawing on her ankle "--are pets allowed? He's well-behaved and has no teeth."

[thekatzmotel]

He regarded the reptile with the same blank, deadpan stare that he fixed on Pinkamena.  "... I suppose," he nodded to the sign on the wall, "as long as it's not some kind of mutant dog. Around here I wouldn't be surprised. As for the chocolate, I'm afraid this is not the forefront of my candy-making venture. You'll have to go into the city for that."

[auncle-squishy]

She frowned but brushed it off. “How much would it cost to stay three nights?”

[thekatzmotel]

"Ohhhh, let’s see…" he scanned a blank page, "Well… normally it would cost 17 dollar per night but the extra charge incurred by blowing out my eardrums… plus tax… We’ll round it up to fifty." He slammed the book shut abruptly and stared back at his new guest. "Of course you also have the option of walking an indeterminate distance to the city or sleeping outside."

[auncle-squishy]

She tried peeking over the desk to get a good look at the book before he slammed it shut with a bang that made her flinch. So far she didn’t like him at all, but she didnt have another choice. “Do pay now or later?”

[thekatzmotel]

"Either way, it doesn't really matter to me," he flipped the ledger open again and leaned his cheek against his hand, "Long as I get my money I don't particularly care. I don't suppose there's anything I can do to make your stay more pleasant."

[auncle-squishy]

She frowned but brushed it off. "How much would it cost to stay three nights?"

[thekatzmotel]

"Ohhhh, let's see..." he scanned a blank page, "Well... normally it would cost 17 dollar per night but the extra charge incurred by blowing out my eardrums... plus tax... We'll round it up to fifty." He slammed the book shut abruptly and stared back at his new guest. "Of course you also have the option of walking an indeterminate distance to the city or sleeping outside."

[auncle-squishy]

Pinkamena was devastatingly bored by now and resolved to slumping over with her head between her legs and staring at her feet, counting the baby blue stripes on her otherwise white socks. When she snapped back to attention, having heard someone’s voice, she looked up in confused fear at the owner. He looked somewhat like a cat, no doubt, but… Assumptions and theories danced in her head while she tried to think of a logical explanation. Those ears, she thought, made him look a little like the Devil himself. She bit her lip and looked frantically around as though trying to find a sign that would answer her questions. Too terrified to move, but not enough to be mute, she shouted, “What are you?!”

[thekatzmotel]

Katz flinched at the sudden sound, flattening his ears against his head. "Eugh... Hm, fur, claws, and relatively sharp teeth... I must be a goldfish. Now, How may I help you, Ma'am." His claws left shallow pits in his desk when he retracted them to flip through a blank ledger, anything to make it seem like he had better things to do than help his new guest. "If you want a room, you're in luck. We may have a room free for the next, oh... century."

[auncle-squishy]

Buses, taxis, her own two feet—Pinkamena had been wandering for at least two weeks since she left her home in Pennsylvania with hardly more than the clothes on her back and the gator on her wheeled pink suitcase. Now it must have been mid-afternoon, but it was hard to tell on such a cloudy day. Walking absentmindedly through the barren plain since morning, she was bent on finding on finding someplace to stay where she could think of what to do, now that she was miles away from the farm.

The baby alligator hopped off the suitcase as she laid it down to sit on and rest, but before she could relax, he started scurrying away suddenly. She jumped to her feet and pulled the bag behind her as she dashed for the rogue reptile.

"Gummy, come back!" Pinkamena shouted, but Gummy kept on running as fast as his fat little legs would go. He grinded to a halt and she lunged at him, throwing her luggage and grabbing his tail. "Gotcha!" She stood and put him on her head while she dusted herself off. She picked up her suitcase and noticed her pet had led her to the front door of a peculiar motel. Maybe it was abandoned? No, there were lights on inside. There didn’t seem to be anything for miles all around, and the location wasn’t anything to look at. Who would notice a sleazy-looking place like this, much less bother to rent a room? "Huh, I guess I would," she said to herself with a wry smirk. "Come on, Gummy," she added, addressing the teeny gator, who was now chewing a lock of hair.

Though she half-expected the door to be locked, it opened with ease to an empty front desk and few chairs in the lobby. She rang the bell three times, sat down and looked around. It wasn't… too bad. Good enough to stay in for a couple days and think, at least. Swinging her feet to pass the time, she called “Hello?” down the hallway; maybe the manager was hard of hearing.

[thekatzmotel]

It was a solid ten or fifteen minutes before there was any sign of the owner of the dismal motel. He rose silently from a trapdoor hidden behind his desk and upon laying his eerily luminescent eyes on his new guest, let out quiet shudder of displeasure. Having just cared for his previous guest, the appearance of a new one and the work that would go along with her was decidedly unwelcome. "Ahem." he flipped on a green desk lamp, shedding light on the peeling striped wall paper, the unfinished, uneven floorboards, and himself. Bright red fur striped with purple, claws on the ends of his padded fingers extended into the wood of his counter in general annoyance, and pointed ears on top of his head gave him a decidedly menacing appearance. "Welcome to the Katz motel. I am Katz." 

[thekatzmotel]

I think it's time for a reappraisal.

[thekatzmotel]

He inched closer still, until his chest was resting against the counter and his upper lip curled in a snarl. He still refrained from blinking, and the tiny veins in his luminescent yellow eyes seemed to darken and spread.

[cowardlypie]

Blinkie remained still, petrified and staring back at Katz like a deer in headlights. As much as she tried, she couldn’t look away from him or the increasingly nightmarish look on his face. Her eyes started to water as she fought to keep them open and trained on the terrifying and quite possibly demonic feline slowly approaching. Eventually, she blinked. Eyes closing for just a fraction of a second, against her own will.

[thekatzmotel]

Katz's hands shot out like coiled snakes and grabbed Blinkie by the collar, pulling her up onto the counter and bringing her face inches from his, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY MOTEL YOU LITTLE SHIT!?" he screamed at the helpless ragdoll of a girl in his grasp.

[baking---friends]

Blinkie was so obvious, staring at Katz like that. If it was a ploy to make Pinkamena jealous, it certainly was working.

She yanked the girl by her arm and started yelling obscenities in Spanish, harping on about how her plans wouldn’t work, not on her watch.

[thekatzmotel]

Katz put a finger up to Pinkamena’s lips. He continued to stare unblinkingly into Blinkie’s eyes, edging closer and closer to her, almost imperceptibly.

[cowardlypie]

Blinkie shut her eyes tightly and muttered as many apologies as was humanly possible when Pinkamena started yelling again. She still couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying but she could assume she did something wrong. Blinkie cautiously opened her eyes again when her sister went silent only to find that the giant red cat was still staring at her with those huge bloodshot eyes, and she could swear he’d gotten closer.

[thekatzmotel]

He inched closer still, until his chest was resting against the counter and his upper lip curled in a snarl. He still refrained from blinking, and the tiny veins in his luminescent yellow eyes seemed to darken and spread.