welcome to the funhouse

 independent joker blog.

[captain-clown]

                                                 me and my shadow.                                                 And now I’ll repeat what I said at the start,                                they’ll need a large CROWBAR to break us apart!             

[captain-clown]

come on in a while,                                                                                   take your skin off

          independent joker, arkhamverse.

[thekillingjokes]

[thekillingjokes]

independent joker blog

94% random, 6% cute

darker themes, some art.

open to asks, and loads of anons.

ASYLUM  | ASK  | ABOUT | RULES

[thekillingjokes]

What is your favorite place to read?

The library of course! Though, I've been thrown out of there loads of times! Loads of good books--and helpful ones too! Right now I'm reading something by O.J. Simpson--he's not Tennyson or Oscar Wilde, but he's got a lovely tone! 

[nanlanmoarchived]

meet the muse ;

[thekillingjokes]

LEGAL NAME: #0801

ALIAS[ES]: The Joker, Joe Kerr, The Red Hood, Jack White, etc.

GENDER | SPECIES: cis male / human PLACE OF BIRTH: Ace Chemical Processing Plant. CURRENT LIVING CONDITIONS: Arkham Asylum, numerous motley buildings or lairs. Often Amusement Mile. SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English, French, and others. OCCUPATION: Professional whack-job and party clown. Comedian.  CRIMINAL RECORD: Numerous cases of homicide, theft. DRINK | SMOKE | DRUGS: yes | yes | only what Warden Sharp pops out. LIKE[S]: Himself, old movies, Christmas, drawing, photography, inventing, Batman, new things, breaking new things. DISLIKE[S]: Bad jokes, bad fashion, noisy people who aren't him, schedules and rules. FEAR[S]: Batman laughing, Penguin naked, a world without honeybuns. PERSONALITY TRAITS: Mischievous, unpredictable, incredibly funny, curious, cruel, campy, prude, wasteful, intelligent, clever, homicidal, cute.

{ P H Y S I C A L   I N F O R M A T I O N }

HAIR COLOUR: Green. HEIGHT: 6'1-2 TATTOOS: None.

{ F A M I L Y   I N F O R M A T I O N }

SIBLING[S]:  None PARENT[S]: None. CHILDREN: None.

PETS[S]: Harley Quinn, Harley Quinn's mutts.

{ R E L A T I O N S H I P   I N F O R M A T I O N }

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Batsexual.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Apparently in a relationship, maybe married? Unsure.

[thekillingjokes]

"You know? The cable here is absolutely atrocious!" The Joker whined, chucking the bulky remote at Oprah, "same old stuff, nothing fun! Where's the cartoons? Where's the old movies? Where's the Joan Rivers!?" Oh right.

[thekillingjokes]

independent joker blog

94% random, 6% cute

darker themes, some art.

open to asks, and loads of anons.

ASYLUM . ASK . ABOUT . RULES

[thekillingjokes]

Next week Tuesday, this blog is going to get 10x more active; I'll be doing more art, so, prepare.

[thekillingjokes]

"I'm not going to cry in front of you."

"Listen, kiddo’, if you take the time to set up Lincoln logs, you’d best believe daddy’s gonna torch the sucker! So, you better cry, BECAUSE I DIDN’T JUST WASTE MY GASOLINE ON YOUR SKIMPY ASS FOR NOTHING!"

“Cute kid.”

[thekillingjokes]

independent joker blog

94% random, 6% cute

darker themes, some art.

open to asks, and loads of anons.

ASYLUM . ASK . ABOUT . RULES

[thekillingjokes]

independent joker blog

94% random, 6% cute

darker themes, some art.

open to asks, and loads of anons.

ASYLUM . ASK . ABOUT . RULES

[jokerie]

the joker + text posts

[thekillingjokes]

Guess who has a shitty tablet that he's still adjusting to?

[enygmashow-deactivated20150201]

﹖﹖ does your h e a d hurt, batman ? ﹖﹖ 

                                              — understandable. you’re no match for me.

☒ indie comicverse riddler, written by ashie

☒ selective.

☒ will rp with ocs / canon / etc.

☒ always open to skype and plotting

☒ 2-3 years of writing experience

☑ mun will not bite you, unlike the muse.

home. ask. rules.

[thekillingjokes]

иιgнтмαяє: Edward could barely see over the kitchen table then, his feet dangling from his chair. He stared down at the puzzle he had been making, it was almost finished, only one piece left. The sheep it depicted looked so real to his little eyes, and a smirk of triumph came across his mousy face. He reached for the last piece, but it bent in his grip. He began to cry, he wet his pants. And his mother turned to him. "EDWARD!" she said, her face long and pale, a red grin stretched across her face. She slammed her fist on the counter-top, the cupboards shaking and Edward yelping.

"YOU PATHETIC WORM," she shrieked, echoes of laughter crawling up her throat between each heave of the breasts. "STOP YOUR CRYING!" mother screamed, her yellowed eyes bulging, the ends of her mouth tugging farther away form each other with every passing moment.

"DID YOU WET YOURSELF?" Mother roared, her greasy, emerald curls rolling from their pin. She clawed at her forehead, groaning in frustration and vomiting laughter, "YOU FILTHY BOY!" The puzzle began to shake, the peaceful sheep that Edward spent hours putting together twisting into a gold colour, becoming a ugly grin. The empty space where the broken piece was to be spat up blood like some dark fountain, playing alongside the sounds of choking laughter.

"YoU sTUpID LIttLE bEAsT!" Mother's voice trembled, her skin ripping the more she spoke, her fingers exercising at him, as if to strangle. "yOu'Re NoOTHinG!"

enygmashow

[thekillingjokes]

enygmashow:

“уσυ said that it was only moments ago," he says through a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. The Joker was hard company, honestly. But he got by since he was in the company of a very, very difficult killer. "Where  a r e  you headed, anyways?" Always questions with Nygma; but he paid no mind to the details of the other’s surprise visit.

"I said nothing of the sort!" he puffed his gaunt face, almost pouting, "just said it's a lil' crazy in that madhouse tonight!" The Joker had managed to escape Arkham, true, but not by means of setting a little fire and running out the front door, no. It was much more creative than that, and it always was and would be.

"C'mon, Eddie," the Joker cooed, "I don't like to give it away that fast!" 

[thekillingjokes]

enygmashow:

“ι’∂ love one, thank you." He says, accompanying the other hastily. "— Is Arkham really on fire?" He asks, reclining in his seat in a relaxed fashion and tipping his hat backwards. It wasn’t concern in his voice, but rather, curiosity. 

"On fire?" the clown prince of crime knitted his brows together in confusion, "no, actually I just peed in the Warden's sippy cup and bam, I was out of there!" The Joker cocked his head as he revved up the truck, "why on earth would you think it was on fire?" Driving off, the siren sang out, smoke billowing from the charred body of a naked man that was poorly strapped to the truck.

[enygmashow-deactivated20150201]

"Eddie!"

"— נσкєя! Why, isn’t it   p l e a s a n t   to see a familiar face outside of Arkham.”

[thekillingjokes]

"Oh, shucks, Eddie! You'll make me blush! And Arkham? I just left there, place is on fire tonight!--my good friend Bucky the firemen lent me his truck for a minute. Need a ride?"