[approaches milk w/ a knife]

Who the hell is bucky

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Sure, whatever you say. Dont come crying to me when your rocket launcher dog doesnt work.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

i don’t need a rocket launcher dog, i have a rocket launcher raccoon and he works just fine. this is about you and your shitty dog experience. do yourself a favour and meet a proper dog, bucko.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Oh, god. Of course you know that weird raccoon guy.

and how the hell am I meant to “meet a proper dog”?? should I just go steal one?

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

are you kidding me with this? why would you have to steal a dog, there are dogs everywhere! i haven’t been to earth in like three decades and i know there are plenty of friendly dogs for you to mingle with.

and okay i can see you’ve met rocket and it was the kind of experience that gives his associates an automatic bad reputation. i’d say something like ‘he’s a big ol’ softie once you get to know him’ but that’s not true. it’s just not true. did he threaten to take your arm?

[thekindofchillysoldier]

If I just steal a dog I dont have to deal with its owner. It's easier.

And yeah, he did. How did you know?

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Thats stupid. If theyre cuddly they wouldnt wanna shoot rocket launchers in the first place.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

hey, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying both cuddles and heavy weapons. variety is good.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Sure, whatever you say. Dont come crying to me when your rocket launcher dog doesnt work.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

i don’t need a rocket launcher dog, i have a rocket launcher raccoon and he works just fine. this is about you and your shitty dog experience. do yourself a favour and meet a proper dog, bucko.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Oh, god. Of course you know that weird raccoon guy.

and how the hell am I meant to “meet a proper dog”?? should I just go steal one?

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Just… Normal dogs.

 Theres another kind?

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

yes! the playful cuddly kind. the kind that would use rocket launchers responsibly.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Thats stupid. If theyre cuddly they wouldnt wanna shoot rocket launchers in the first place.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

hey, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying both cuddles and heavy weapons. variety is good.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Sure, whatever you say. Dont come crying to me when your rocket launcher dog doesnt work.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Of course I’ve met a dog before. What kinda question is that?? Have you ever met a dog?

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

what kind of dogs have you met that gave you the impression that they all secretly crave to become death destroyer of worlds? 

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Just… Normal dogs.

 Theres another kind?

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

yes! the playful cuddly kind. the kind that would use rocket launchers responsibly.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Thats stupid. If theyre cuddly they wouldnt wanna shoot rocket launchers in the first place.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

That’d just be impractical. Dogs have no impulse control. It would blow everything up.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

are you saying dogs have a natural impulse to wreck shit?? have you ever met a dog.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Of course I’ve met a dog before. What kinda question is that?? Have you ever met a dog?

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

what kind of dogs have you met that gave you the impression that they all secretly crave to become death destroyer of worlds? 

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Just... Normal dogs.

 Theres another kind?

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Goofy labradors.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

wow, must be one hell of a dog. like a cyborg dog. with built in rocket launchers.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

That’d just be impractical. Dogs have no impulse control. It would blow everything up.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

are you saying dogs have a natural impulse to wreck shit?? have you ever met a dog.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Of course I've met a dog before. What kinda question is that?? Have you ever met a dog?

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Hey, I didn’t say it was badass. Just said it made sense.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

man, tough crowd. what does it take to impress you? 

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Goofy labradors.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

wow, must be one hell of a dog. like a cyborg dog. with built in rocket launchers.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

That'd just be impractical. Dogs have no impulse control. It would blow everything up.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

I don’t, actually. 

The whole galaxy? Guess I understand the whole starlord thing now.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

i told you it was a badass name. shoulda listened. 

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Hey, I didn’t say it was badass. Just said it made sense.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

man, tough crowd. what does it take to impress you? 

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Goofy labradors.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Yeah. Something like that.

what about you. what do you do.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

little bit of this, little bit of that. occasional saving the galaxy, you know how it goes.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

I don’t, actually. 

The whole galaxy? Guess I understand the whole starlord thing now.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

i told you it was a badass name. shoulda listened. 

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Hey, I didn't say it was badass. Just said it made sense.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Seriously.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

that’s wild. you must live an interesting life.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Yeah. Something like that.

what about you. what do you do.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

little bit of this, little bit of that. occasional saving the galaxy, you know how it goes.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

I don't, actually. 

The whole galaxy? Guess I understand the whole starlord thing now.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

haha no I’m just his best friend

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

HAHA WHAT dude seriously

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Seriously.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

that’s wild. you must live an interesting life.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Yeah. Something like that.

what about you. what do you do.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

I am cool. Ive been cool for about 70 years apparently.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

haha what are you like captain america or something?

[thekindofchillysoldier]

haha no I’m just his best friend

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

HAHA WHAT dude seriously

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Seriously.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

What?? Yeah it is.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

it’s really not. i thought you were cool, man.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

I am cool. Ive been cool for about 70 years apparently.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

haha what are you like captain america or something?

[thekindofchillysoldier]

haha no I'm just his best friend

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Thanks. :)

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

that’s not a compliment!!!

[thekindofchillysoldier]

What?? Yeah it is.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

it’s really not. i thought you were cool, man.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

I am cool. Ive been cool for about 70 years apparently.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Why not? I wasn’t threatening you, just stating a fact. it’ll be fine. Because I’m not wrong.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

i’m going to amend my previous statement about you being weird. i think terrifying might be more accurate.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Thanks. :)

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

that’s not a compliment!!!

[thekindofchillysoldier]

What?? Yeah it is.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

I don’t mind being wrong if you don’t mind being dead

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

whooooaaa now bucko slow your roll a bit, there’s no need for that!

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Why not? I wasn’t threatening you, just stating a fact. it’ll be fine. Because I’m not wrong.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

i’m going to amend my previous statement about you being weird. i think terrifying might be more accurate.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Thanks. :)

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Nah. ‘Think I’ll trust my own judgement.

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

sure, if you don’t mind being wrong.

[thekindofchillysoldier]

I don’t mind being wrong if you don’t mind being dead

[screechingtriumphrebel-deactiva]

whooooaaa now bucko slow your roll a bit, there’s no need for that!

[thekindofchillysoldier]

Why not? I wasn't threatening you, just stating a fact. it'll be fine. Because I'm not wrong.