Learning to Breathe

The simple, quirky journey of a post grad.

[thekvaughn]

My response when people ask if I have a boyfriend. #crazycatlady #weloveeachother

[thekvaughn]

Why Getting Comfortable Is The Worst Thing This Generation Can Possibly Do

"Stay hungry, stay foolish"

[thekvaughn]

New, new, new.

The past couple of days (and weeks really) have been ones of change and ever present gratitude.

*Back up a couple weeks*

I ended up needing to take a few credits during Fall intersession to fulfill my degree requirements (really guys, not a big deal. Happens to a lot of people.). The same week I was taking these classes I got some bad news that I took a little harder than I expected ➜➜ I didn't get a big job I wanted. I lived. So, long story short, I didn't do as well as I could/should have, thought I didn't pass, and went further into my "poor me" wormhole of self-pity. No worries, I kicked myself in the ass, pulled up my boot strings, got myself back on the horse....ok I'm done. My point is that I accepted what I had done and registered for another class. *Fast forward to yesterday* 

This is where my luck started turning for the better. I got a call yesterday that ended with me accepting a job with a nice company that includes good pay and benefits. Pretty sure I did my happy dance at least 5x. Today I decided to get my hair cut (small change) to celebrate my "small victory towards adulthood". I then come home and see that my transcripts came in the mail...and the best news happened. I PASSED THAT CLASS! So now I go back to my gratitude comment. I am grateful that I have now technically graduated from college (I don't "officially" until December - again, the minor details). I am grateful to finally be employed.

I'm also grateful for the changes I have seen in myself this summer. After college days are truly something that people can't prepare you for. They can give you advice, help you out, but they can't really tell you step by step how you'll feel. Its almost September and I am finally starting to feel some closure. The thing people don't mention to you is this: that was your whole life for the last four years. The town, the people, the lifestyle, the classes, all of it. It is a sort of culture shock coming home and moving away from all of that. You have to get use to life being different, people seeing you differently, and everything just changing constantly. It can be exciting and it can be scary, but you have to be the one that chooses how it'll play out. I'm gonna keep choosing exciting - so far, it continues to be a roller coaster I am not ready to get off. Hello real world.

And this was, yet again, another long ass post. #sorrynotsorry

⇪New hurrss⇪

[thekvaughn]

Part of my adventure today: Pivot Rock! Gotta love hidden nature finds.

[thekvaughn]

Real talks with KVaughn

I started this blog with the intention of talking about my "wonderful journey after graduation"....(which, like all 50+ of my diaries, I am bad about posting regularly)...and what I can for sure say is that this time away from school has brought about some thoughts and 'ah-ha!' moments.  The main one being the realization of how much you have to look at your life and the choices you're making. And, honestly, it really blows. I had a conversation with a friend the other day about my future plans.  She brings this up from time to time as her way of making sure I am staying on track with my goals -- which I am grateful for. This one conversation in particular, however, really got me thinking more than usual; given the choice, and endless possibilities/opportunities, what do I really want to do with my life? 

I'm going to be honest.  College and I didn't really have the best run towards the end - more in the area of my creativity/drive/passion.  I let myself get beaten down and dried up, and that is a feeling that I vow to remember and never let happen again (I don't believe in having regrets).  So the thoughts that were product of this recent conversation really shocked me - given that I haven't really been able to think like that in some time now..  What do I want to do with my life? One main revelation that I have come to, in all of this "inner tumoil and life confusion" [⇐not really, but that sounded appropriate] is that I didn't pick a typical, orthodox career choice. "Well, no shit Kahrya. You got a degree in Dance Performance and want to be a dancer." I am aware.  What I mean by that is, I don't have just one option with my job choice.  You get asked what you plan on doing with your dance degree, you don't have to shout, "DANCE!"  I signed on to being a starving artist the rest of my life (unless that doctor husband finally comes along) whenever I made the decision to make dance my life back when I was 17.  Its a bigger industry that has more possibilities than people think - something that I also had lost sight of for a bit.  You can do internships, work as an apprentice, do music videos, go into more of the theatre scene (which I am a big fan of), and the list continues; the main point is that you have options, but you still have to really work for them.  You have to be in this through the long haul; through the failed auditions and endless callbacks, through sending your headshots/resumes/cover letters to everyone on the freakin' planet it feels like, through the rejections and triumphs.  That is something that I have always known, but I let myself freakout over and kind of shut down for a bit.  Yes, I don't have my dream career right now.  I'm not on a major performing company.  I don't live in a big city.  But the main thing that this career choice (and whole art form really) has taught me is that people don't just hand these jobs to you.  You have to work and work and work until someone gives you a break.  So this is me giving myself the kick in the ass I needed after college.  No, I wasn't the star pupil of my program, but that's over. As I recall, this is post grad and my opportunities are endless.  One of these days I'll be someones star, but for now I'll be my own ⭐⭐.  That way, when that day comes, I can really relish in it because I'll know how hard I worked to get there and how much I deserve to have that moment.

Yes, that was a lot of rambling, but you get the point.

#peaceandblessins

[jesusandcoffee]

[thekvaughn]

Something to think about - why is that?

[nayyirahwaheed-deactivated20180]

[thekvaughn]

#always

[thekvaughn]

I'm starting to get the hang of this whole upside down thing. #aerialdiaries #myarmswillhatemetomorrow

[thekvaughn]

Happy 4th of July weekend y'all 🇺🇸🎆 #Merica #vscocam

[thekvaughn]

A look into my view everyday. #countryliving #vscocam

[thekvaughn]

Canoe Virgin Diaries

I'm going canoeing tomorrow as a "mini-vacation" of sorts --- whats better than drinking on a boat while slowing truckin' down a river, am I right? And yes, this does happen to be my first time canoeing.  Which I still find odd seeing as how everyone in my family has been canoeing atleast once..  Because of that factor as well, they have decided to take today to share every horror story of canoes capsizing, and people almost drowning, that they could think of.

Honestly, I'm not too worried.  My biggest concern is how fast I can become Jesus and walk on water in the event a snake lands in the canoe.

Snakes....I really hate them..

[thekvaughn]

My cat has found four daddy long legs in my room the past two nights....I need to move.

[apogamy]

[thekvaughn]

When miniature stands become major

So a couple days ago I had posted a photo of my small tid-bit of standing up for myself at work by changing my name tag to my full name.

≫≫To comment on this, for those of you that are wondering why I made such a big deal about what I was called at work, in the simplest way is that I care.   Names have always been important to me.  The way I see it, what you choose to be called by is part of your identity.  Its part of what makes you, 𝓎O𝓊.  And it did bother me quite a bit that an employer was requiring me to go by something other than my full name because it was easier on him.  I'm not apologizing for having something that's a bit out of the norm...so long story short, going by "Kay" didn't last that long.

Now back to my original point with this post: To keep this short and sweet, I decided [[and have gone through with that decision]] that it was time to quit the gas station biz.  I know I was only there for a few weeks, but that time taught me something very valuable...

Life is too short to be wasted on working minimum wage at a place where coworkers old enough to be your grandmother can't seem to find anything better to do than find ways to get you in trouble with your boss; let alone having a boss that would hold all of these petty remarks against you.   Golden life lesson here folks: its not worth it. No, I am not going to starve because I quit my job.  I do still have this lovely paycheck coming and am looking for another form of employment.  This is one perk of not being out on my ass living alone that I am grateful for.

If there is anything college/living on my own has taught me its that I have worked way to hard in life to not allow myself happiness and mental stability every once in a while........and nothing satisfies that more at the moment than being away from that god forsaken gas station.

*Praise Beyonce* 

[psych-facts]

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness

Katherine Henson 

[bou48]

[thekvaughn]

Words to live by.

Yes, I'm a bit obsessed with this show. #sorrynotsorry

[thekvaughn]

I should have been a fairy..

Besides working and hanging out in my wooded seclusion, I have been dabbling with a new art form along with my dance classes I've gotten back into - aerial silk work.

I have always had a fascination with aerial performance ever since I saw Cirque as a kid.  I took a master class in college to get a taste and loved it, so you can imagine my excitement when a friend told me about this yoga studio in town that started offering classes.

Yes, it does take a lot of upper body strength..and that's putting it lightly. More like your arms are going to hurt like a bitch the next day. The second week is not so bad though, and you feel like you're getting stronger. It makes it all worth it. I guess that makes me an artistic masochist in a way - because I love it.

Plus, some of the tricks you learn make for really cool pictures! *See Below*