The title of this entry was taken from one of the soundtracks of one of my favorite series, Emma. It is such a beautiful piece of music that whenever I listen to it, I feel delighted
I feel like dancing myself away from lot of things and happenings. I feel like dancing myself away from some people who I think are no longer want to be part of my life. I call it dancing because I want to do it gracefully, joyfully, with my head up high.
When I read the poem Desiderata by Max Erhman, I felt a lift in my spirit. I felt like the poem written in 1920 still apply for me today in many ways. It was as if Erhman knew I would be alive and wrote the poem for me. That, of course, is wishful thinking. He did not dedicate that for me but to all humans. I think Desiderata was written as a testimony that humans are capable of doing mistakes and plunging into deep, dreadful trials; however, it is also a testimony that they can also get back on their feet and live happily.
I would like to put here the poem itself and highlight the lines I find really inspiring.
“Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
The world, with all its heartaches and treachery, is the only one I have for now. And I am the only person who can decide about how would I deal with everything that is happening to me. Honestly, I am still not satisfied with the life I have lived so far. I know the reason why. For the past years, there is nothing in this life that I have been serious about-- not even my faith, not even my work. I feel like, at 24, I am not yet financially, emotionally and spiritually stable, which I should already be since I am not getting any younger.
Not that I have never been happy, yet my happiness remained to be shallow and short-lived. At 24, I am still like a dead leaf on a river, not knowing where to go, just letting the water current take me to who-knows-where.
It is disheartening. It is sickening. It is saddening.
But no. I will not stop there. I will not allow myself to be consumed with all these negative emotions. I have to get back off my feet and focus. As David Wynn said, there is only one way and that way is upward (non-verbatim).
Forward Christian soldier. Forward you go!
So to end this entry, I would go back to the phrase I began this with. Today is my last dance. This is THE LAST DANCE.
Now is the time for me to dance all the negativity away; the time to dance all mediocrity and lukewarmness away; the time to dance faithlessness, bitterness, non-productivity, shabbiness, laziness; the time sweep off all sham, drudgery and broken dreams.
I will be better. I promise my God I will do it. I will be a lot better today than yesterday.
I have to let go of all these traits and replace them with good ones-- those who are godly. For true it is that godly traits bring eternal joy and peace of mind.
God be with me in this last dance. #