My Journey to Higher Love

A twin flame journey constructing the bridge between the physical self and the higher self through heart-centered consciousness.  

[thelightfromwithin1111]

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[thelightfromwithin1111]

The Vulnerability

Ever since I reconnected with my twin flame, it's like a veil has been lifted and I see clearly all of the inconsistencies and irresponsible messaging prevalent for twin flames online. I would like to address some of these things here.

Some common faulty premises push the cult-like mentality of union only being possible when both parties are perfectly healed, or that twin flames are not meant to be in a physical relationship as it is mainly a journey to self-actualization, or the concepts of runner and chaser, or the guidance to the chaser to never communicate with a supposed runner. I see false statistics quoted frequently and people projecting all their advice from a place of fear and frustration rather than love.

NONE of these messages are aligned with unconditional love.

What is the purpose of incarnating with a twin flame if not to experience divine love through connection with each other in 3D? That experience will come in many different forms, but I believe union is always the path. I say "always" because anything other than union, in which both parties recognize and cherish the connection and celebrate each other without walls or ego interfering, is not aligned with the higher path of the soul, in general. The soul is creating 5D love on earth through you both. It's creating this in multiple ways through all of us, but with twin flames, it's creating it specifically through energetic, mirrored bonds.

I would like to explain something that happened to me after my twin flame and I reconnected after more than 3 years. We merged energies in a way I hadn't consciously experienced with him yet, and were able to talk about the experience. It was overwhelming and really sent us both into a physical tailspin of insomnia and illness. I consider myself very conscious, stable and aware, and even I struggled through this time. But I have allowed myself to be the energy leader and dig deep through the residual illusions that are brought up and push myself to continue communicating authentically with him, which gives him the strength to be vulnerable with me. Your twin is designed to mirror you, they will unintentionally do and say things to trigger your shadows. This is not something that will ever STOP happening, it will just eventually become easier to release reactive energies as you grow in your partnership.

And I will say, the illusions have been intense. I can see how they could keep a lot of people from staying together. But I just don't see enough guidance on this in the twin flame community, so much is geared towards self healing in separation, and not on the importance of vulnerability, radical acceptance and development of trust in your intuition. By radical acceptance, I mean seeing your twin flame from a soul perspective, understanding your own triggers and then communicating from a place of vulnerability and trust in your joined path. That means letting go of doubt with each other and focusing on working through the triggers together.

I believe the reason we typically come back together time and time again isn't simply a "spiritual check in" to trigger you into solitary healing. It's a reminder that you are not alone on this journey, and if you're willing to make the effort and listen to your intuition rather than your fears, a loving divine partnership is available to you. But it can't be loving until you LEAD with love rather than fear.

If the essence of our souls is divine love, then we are here to BE divine, unconditional love on earth. How is it unconditional love to say to this soul who is eternally connected to you that, "I cannot be in your life because you aren't fully healed and your presence makes me have to do work to figure out how to be a better communicator?" How is it unconditional love to push them away when they reach out for connection? To blame them for your triggers?

We all have our journeys to inner healing, and the timeframe can be fast or slow depending on how much inner work you have done in your life already. There's no competition or rush on this, we're all moving at our own pace. But, I would just love to see more heart-centered guidance being offered in the world. Not guidance behind a paywall or from people still stuck in their illusions or from those who aren't experiencing the journey, but guidance from that place of divine love and acceptance.

[thelightfromwithin1111]

The Journey of Union Begins 🥂

I started this journal in 2019 to try and process the mystical, painful, amazing, confusing journey I was experiencing as a twin flame without the ability to communicate with her twin. I navigated doubt, naysayers, conflicting information, fear, inability to confirm if he was feeling the things I was. In the process, I built a deep trust in my intuition, and an inner and outer foundation that couldn't be shattered by his actions or inactions. I finally figured out my personal "why" in life, the thing that had nothing specific to do with him, and I was surrounded by supportive and loving souls that lifted me up and expanded my life in beautiful ways.

Then he returned.

Not only did he return, but he returned knowing about our spiritual connection, knowing I was the only one for him, all ties to past relationships completed, and ready to take the steps to build a life and home together.

We have had conversations more deep and honest than we ever had been able to before; more deep and honest than I have EVER had with a romantic partner. I was surprised by the previously undiscussed extent of similarities in our past, the way we used to put each other on pedestals, but were too stuck in our own illusions and insecurities to realize we were doing that to each other. He stated how much thoughts of me interfered with his ability to have other relationships, just like it was for me.

If I could have imagined an ideal scenario for our first conversations after a silence of more than 3 years, it would have gone just like this. Actually this may have gone even better than I could have imagined, as we are now engaged and actively working on moving in together. Unfortunately, due to where we both live, it's a logistical nightmare and will require a great amount of patience. But, if this journey has taught me anything, it's that "impossible" is simply a mindset. And our energetic connection often makes me feel like we actually are already together in 3D on a daily basis. It has increased insanely since we aligned, my sleeping patterns seem to be tied to his energy, as well, we are psychically communicating in ways I can now confirm. I can only imagine where this leads us.

Union is a journey, not a single moment. I am SO grateful for what we've created together, for the promises we are making to each other, for the honesty and intimacy we are expressing authentically. But there is a long road ahead, paperwork and travel planning, acclimating to a 3D reality together, and so much energetic expansion we are both experiencing.

I have gathered a lot of tools in my toolbox over these last few years so I could prepare for the journey to come, and even though the wait was long, I'm so glad for the experience I gained from it.

🙏

[thelightfromwithin1111]

The Guiding Light

I spent about a month after my last post doing daily meditations designed to help me connect more fully to my twin flame on an energetic level. It wasn't just about bringing us together, it was also about embracing my connection with source, my connection with my soul, my connection with my higher purpose.

A funny thing happened as I followed this path. I was able to clear away a lot of the noise and resistance associated with following my higher path. I have always had a natural gift for creative expression and music, but for some reason it was tied to a lot of heavy and painful energy inside of me. I would go back and forth between flowing outwardly in expression and then repressing expression for long periods of time. I spent more time convincing myself that it wasn't an important part of my journey than allowing my voice to be heard.

My creative path is very tied to my twin flame path. I can see now that the reason for the distance between us is the same as the reason for the distance I put between me and my higher expression. To free flow in creativity means you have to allow yourself to be seen and heard. But I have spent my whole life hiding from just that and trying not to be seen or heard. So how can you be in a divine partnership and still be trying to hide?

My entire time spent in 3D with my twin flame was spent hiding our truths. He is a pretty extreme example of what it means to hide and not try to be seen.

So I feel like I finally understand this now. I finally understand that the path to divine partnership is the path in which I allow myself to be seen and heard. And realizing this was like a light bulb going off over my head. I have to express myself and allow other people to see me and hear me and appreciate me. I can't hide myself from the world anymore.

I wanted to blog about this because it's not helpful to focus on being in a relationship with somebody that you feel is your divine partner rather than focusing on your relationship with your soul. However, there are important and powerful insights that come from leaning into your twin flame connection and the explosive energy it contains. I feel like it's important to harness that energy and allow it to transform you. And that's what I have been accomplishing by "manifesting twin flame union." I was embracing the energy between us and allowing it to transform my path.

And I'm so grateful that I listened to my intuition and I followed that path to where I am now. Because I feel like I understand the purpose in expressing my creativity now. In the past I've always felt like I "should" do it because I have the ability and because other people want me to. But I hated the pressure of it, I didn't want to be seen or heard. I was purposely supressing myself and hiding in the shadows.

But now I understand that my twin flame is waiting for me on the other side of this transformative leap. In the place where I am freely expressing myself and allowing myself to be seen and heard, that is where he meets me. Because that is when I'm fully aligned with my soul and my purpose. And that doesn't mean that I am taking this creative path to be with him. That's the most interesting part of this to me. I don't feel that way at all, I feel like this path in itself is a relationship. And when I stop limiting myself and stop being afraid of being seen, it feels like there's endless potential and growth on this path that doesn't require another person to be a part of it.

And that's the emotional and mental and energetic space that allows divine partnership to flourish.

If there is a way to describe the best kind of surrender, I think that would be it. It's me joyously following a path fully aligned with my soul, knowing I will eventually reconnect with my divine partner along the way, but not worried about it as my heart and mind are overflowing with love on my own path.

[thelightfromwithin1111]

Complacency is not Surrender

I would like to start this out by saying that we're all on our own path and everyone's twin flame journey is unique. Don't let anyone, including me, box you into a specific way of thinking regarding what you should and shouldn't be doing on this journey. I know my path took a lot of twists and turns as I figured out how to accurately hear and trust my own intuitive guidance. So, focus on building this intuitive trust first and foremost. This blog is my truth as I've experienced on this journey. I'm sharing my experiences in the hope that it can one day help others who resonate with me.

The difference between a twin flame/divine partnership versus a typical relationship built on ego/karmic connections is the difference between living on auto pilot versus being a conscious co-creator of your reality. I think it's important to understand this because there is so much romanticism of the twin flame concept that the importance of your own role as a co-creator in this world gets lost in romantic (or tragic) fantasy.

Something I have recently come to understand in a powerful way is that complacency is not surrendering. There is so much use of the word "surrender" when it comes to twin flames, but so little understanding of the what, why and how of it. For quite a while I fell into complacency with my twin flame. It's a state of indifference to the twin flame journey. You no longer have those feelings of longing or desperation and you are content to either be alone or be with someone else. It happens to a lot of us who have been out of contact with our twin flames for a while, or who have very unresponsive twin flames, or have twin flames in other relationships or who are otherwise unavailable, and there's a sense of being content in your own life while simultaneously dismissing the importance of the twin flame connection. It doesn't feel like a bad place to be, it simply feels like acceptance of what IS. So often, I see this state of complacency referred to as the "surrender stage," and the next step is to leave it up to source/the universe to invoke divine timing.

When you do this, though, your subconscious programming tells the universe that your twin flame connection doesn't matter, that you're not interested in empowering yourself as a co-creator of divine partnership. So the universe continues to give you more of what you believe.

I think our most important role on this earth is to thrive in our power as conscious co-creators in EVERY aspect. This starts with intention setting and focused energy. Then, it's maintaining the fine balance between desiring an outcome and staying in a high vibration emotional state where your "energetic" reality believes you already have this outcome.

When it comes to divine partnership, the feelings of love we receive from the higher soul connection are the key to invite that energy into our lives as much as possible. I see a lot of people dependent on "receiving" that feeling from their twin flame. They assume they have no power in this connection, that they are completely reliant on their twin flame to send love in order to feel love.

The twin flame is really just a key to learn how to access divine love, like a key to a door that unlocks the power of the universe. And, every time we empower ourselves to open this door, we are not only raising our own vibration, but that of our twin flame AND the collective. I like to channel those feelings through me as much as I can, and utilize such tools as meditation, art, music and the love of other deep soul connections I have in my life. The more I do this, the more expansion I see happening in my life in every area, and the more I feel like I am creating my world rather than just being at it's mercy.

Divine partnership isn't simply about relationship, it's about allowing your soul's energy of love completely into your body and letting it radiate out into the world. Coming into physical union with your partner amplifies this energy, but it doesn't CREATE it, that is something you can access anytime.

[thelightfromwithin1111]

The Purpose in Manifesting Union

I think the most important thing that I've learned on the twin flame journey is how to trust my own intuition. I would even say it's THE most important thing for anyone to learn, no matter what spiritual path they are taking.

When I started my journey, I had zero trust in my own intuition. I was constantly in doubt of the choices I made, and very often I would let other people make my choices for me. Even the things that I felt were my own choices, looking back, I can see how much were influenced by the opinions and feelings of others around me. Even when I met my twin flame, I was ready to drop everything in my life and just follow his path, as I felt very lost on my own. I still had a lot to learn and heal before I could stand strongly in my intuition and walk my own path with confidence.

The doubt I felt in my intuition is the same doubt that leads those who find themselves on the twin flame journey to think that they're crazy or obsessed or just fantasizing and not being "realistic." And you will find plenty of people willing to mirror that back to you if that's what you believe on a subconscious level. The more you look in this mirror, the more you believe it about yourself.

Learning how to trust my own intuition, even when it takes me in directions that don't make sense to me at the time, has helped me find peace even when I don't know where I'm going. And when you have that, everything becomes possible.

About mid-April of 2022, I felt my twin flame's energy around me, combined with an abundance of 333 showing up everywhere the same day. I had felt him around me from time to time, despite us not having physically communicated in 3 years, but most of the time I was focused on something I mentioned in my last post: That my soul desired "freedom." I appreciated his energy being there, it always brought certain memories and revelations with it, but I didn't feel the need to attach to it. My feeling was that if he was meant to be in my life then spirit would bring him to me. There wasn't anything I needed to personally do to make that happen.

The thing is, to create form you have to WANT form. You have to BELIEVE in form. This is how I've manifested so many things in my life, by designing them in my mind first and then letting the universe show me the way. Once I know the form I am manifesting, it is the PATH I release attachment to, not the form itself. I love what I am manifesting when I do this. It becomes something that matters to me, even if it never did before. And oftentimes it's something I'm guided to do, something that's been building up in my energy field for a while. But, I can't really manifest it until I develop that deep desire to do so. Until I develop that deeper sense of purpose in manifesting it.

The realization struck me that manifesting union is necessary. It's how you consciously co-create with source rather than remain a passive spectator in your life. It's not simply about being in a relationship with a specific person, it's about following the energy that has been guiding me down this path for a long time now, building up slowly until I was truly ready to "love what I was manifesting."

The idea of manifesting union originally terrified me the first time I learned about it back in 2019. It worked for me in a way back then, I was able to bring him back to me when it seemed impossible. But ultimately, I ran from the connection, as did he. I was learning how to manifest, but my subconscious was still riddled with doubt and fear. I couldn't keep making the effort to keep him around as I stopped feeling that deeper sense of purpose in doing so. I didn't understand why I stopped feeling that purpose, it took me 3 years to be able to see this clearly, but I can see now that I wasn't ready. It was a great learning experience for me in building trust in my intuition and trust in my connection to my higher self and my guides. But the timing wasn't right for physical union.

This time, the path to manifesting union is feeling completely different. I've reached a point of balance and success in my life that I didn't have back in 2019. The fear and doubt are still in the falling away process, but they aren't very strong anymore. I know my higher self so much better now, I've seen the miracles that trust brings into my life many times over, and I have felt the support of my guides, of the universe, in incredible ways.

In my last post, I said that what my soul wanted most was "freedom." It was something I felt very strongly. Only now I understand this word a bit differently. At first it was freedom from needing a man in my life, from needing some kind of love connection. I had bounced from relationship to relationship for over a decade and really needed time for myself. It was an important part of my journey, something I needed to experience, and I'm very grateful for it.

Now, I realize higher freedom is found in prioritizing divine love. When you allow the divine to fully manifest in partnership with you on the earth, you are completely free. There's nothing left to doubt or fear, nothing left to search for. Truly, I already have this in my life. I'm surrounded with so much abundance as it is. But the disbelief in divine love was formed so deep in my subconscious that it took me 3 years on this journey to even find its location to begin the deconstruction process. What I'm finding is that the process of prioritizing divine love and manifesting union is allowing that core disbelief to finally unravel and be replaced with higher vibration love and trust.

A huge part of manifesting union - of manifesting ANYTHING - is about reprogramming the subconscious. It's about pinpointing and releasing the programming that my body has absorbed: the things learned from our families, the things brought with us from other lives, the things coded into our DNA. It's about releasing old belief systems and replacing them with higher vibration consciousness. It's not simply about getting another person to be a part of our physical lives, though it IS that as well. But that's such a small part of what it is we're doing when we manifest union. We are bringing the truth of our higher selves more fully into our physical lives. It's what is frequently spoken about as "The New Earth," this reality that brings higher consciousness to the physical realm. Manifesting divine union is doing exactly this. It's taking that divine love and allowing it to become fully present in our physical bodies. And this, in turn, helps awaken/transform others who come in contact with that energy through us. The more of us who can bring this higher vibration into their physical reality, the more transformation we will see to make this New Earth a reality.

Not everyone does this through a twin flame journey. But I hope this blog can help inspire anyone reading who is.

[thelightfromwithin1111]

Almost 3 years into my twin flame journey, and I have reached a point of abundance and balance that is like nothing I've experienced in my life before. And it has NOTHING to do with the limiting concepts of union or reunion.

When I listen to my soul - ask it what it wants the most - it says, "Freedom!" This is not the voice of fear that was always trying to take the path of co-dependence, that was clinging to the concept of reunion as being important, that saw lack of relationship as loneliness or failure. This is the voice of my highest wisdom, this is the voice that sends warm chills through my body and feels like home. And when I don't resist that voice and I sit willingly in its expansive energy, I understand that it was always my soul's highest path to part ways with my twin flame. He served my highest good as a guide to connecting more fully with my soul. To be in anything but gratitude for the space between us is to be in resistance to my soul's path.

I wish more earth guides would lean into the beauty of expansion vs limitation. I wish they would stop general readings of "collective" energies that feed into the addictive nature of co-dependence rather than the expansive nature of the ascension process. I wish the twin flame narrative could shift and the new story would be one that thrives in the soul connection rather than clings to physical connection. To the soul, love is universal and unconditional, there is no differentiation between romantic love, friendship love or familial love, love is just love. So why is there this limiting idea in our collective energy that a specific kind of love should only be directed at one individual? That doesn't feel right to me anymore. Yes, there is a specific energetic pull from my twin flame, but when I move my consciousness into higher vibrations, into more expansive thought, it becomes less and less important, and the pull becomes less and less singularly directed.

Let's change the narrative. Let's learn to see love as expansion, not limitation. If you are feeling doubt about what is the right path for you, ask yourself, "Does this path make me feel limited or expansive?"

[thelightfromwithin1111]

The Importance of “Connection” on the Twin Flame Journey

Let me start by clarifying “connection.”  As humans, we are quick to assume that connection between people is required to happen in some physical format.  A phone call, a text, a face-to-face meeting, a touch.  But the twin flame journey opens us up to experience what connection means on a broader level, on a more spiritual, internal, heart-centered level.  

It’s not that twin flames are special or unique, we’re all capable of connecting on a heart-centered level.  It’s simply a place where we feel our truth and our bonds from within rather than demanding proof of it externally.  In other words, unconditional love.  Some of have experienced this in one way or another with a family member, a child, a best friend, an animal.  But, many more of us are still bound to love with limitations, love that is conditional and requires proof and validation and rules.  I was the epitome of this prior to meeting my twin flame.

To truly unconditionally love another person means this love is without judgment, requirements or need of having that love returned.  This type of love is more rare.  Most people get so caught up in their own desires and conditions and triggers that they’re unable to see outside of them and love with an open heart, to love others with God/source type of love that does not demand or cling to material reciprocation.  Most people will hold back their love, their trust, their true feelings when they feel another person has done something they don’t like or that hurts them, and often they will blame others for causing them pain whether it was intentional or not.

The difference with twin flames is that this journey of heart-centered connection is a HUGE part of our existence.  Our soul path was built around it, and we have no choice but to experience it with someone who challenges us on this connection.  We will run ourselves in circles until we finally learn how to accept it and allow it to transform us.

So what does it mean to connect with your twin flame on this heart-centered level?  This unconditional love? 

I’m currently in the middle of the longest separation I’ve had with my twin flame so far.  It happened after he declared feelings for me, but I wasn’t ready to act on them and neither was he.  We were both in a frozen place, unsure of each other, unsure how to match our physical actions to the feelings that kept us coming back to each other over and over.

Then, he disappeared.  He had done this before, and while I was surprised it happened again after the pain we went through previously, he had at least finally opened up about his real feelings, and the last words he said to me were that he’d be back, even if the timeline was far longer than the one he had expressed.  

I’ve spent a lot of time in his absence focused on what he was and wasn’t doing in the physical world.  I went back and forth on the matter, doubting the connection one moment, finding new enlightenment in the next.  Signs were everywhere around me, repeating numbers, his name, my spirit animal following me around, songs that felt like he was communicating with me.  For months these things kept growing and growing in intensity.  

And then, I was guided to a new revelation:  He HAD been communicating with me the entire time.  He wasn’t physically communicating with me, but his higher self had been trying to reconnect with me, to get me to let him in and trust him once again.

I had a history with his higher self.  My twin flame and I had a previous separation that lasted a little less than 2 months.  It was during that time when I learned how to connect with what I consider to be his higher self.  It’s an energy that interacts with me and triggers my memories and feelings of him.  I would physically feel his presence around me, inside of me, on my skin, I would hear him speak to me, feel him “light up” a specific area in my heart, it was both exciting and strange and it kept me in this place where I felt constantly connected to him.  Even though I wasn’t sure if he’d ever return in the flesh, it was like he never left my side energetically.  

Then, after a couple of months, he contacted me physically again stating things to me that I’d talked about with his higher self during that separation and allowing himself to be vulnerable in a way I hadn’t experienced with him for months.  

It gave me confidence that I’d been experiencing something very, very real.  But, I still didn’t fully trust it or him.  And it took this longer current separation for me to dig far deeper and release so much that had been blocking me from trusting what I was feeling inside.

Not only wasn’t I trusting my own feelings, I had also unintentionally disconnected from his higher self.  It happened right around the time he last came back to me in person.  It’s not that I wasn’t feeling anything, it’s that I wasn’t listening to it the same way, I was pushing aside anything that seemed like it was him because it was too difficult to process that kind of hope.

We get told not to trust spiritual connections, that we’re making it up, that “real” love proves itself to you with action and that’s all that matters in this world, the action someone else is willing to take physically to show us how they feel.  We get told that if someone disappears from our lives, it means they don’t care about us and we, in turn, shouldn’t care about them, and if we do then we don’t love ourselves.  We build wall after wall after wall to protect ourselves from “fake” love and fantasy, until all we really do is isolate ourselves from openly connecting with anyone.

I realize now that I got scared during our reconnection, as I didn’t trust him to return, and I was afraid of giving too much of myself to that connection anymore.  I was too focused on what he was doing in the physical world to feel comfortable again with him in the spiritual world.

But, no matter what I tried to suppress or ignore, the external signs were relentless.  It’s frustrating when you don’t understand how to interpret the signs, I struggled with that for a while.  I now realize, however, that it wasn’t me not understanding how to interpret the signs, it was me not TRUSTING the connection or understanding my truth, and that was blinding me so I wasn’t able to see what was right in front of me the whole time. It took some serious intervention including all the regular signs I’d been seeing for months combined with an energy healer friend telling me I wasn’t speaking my truth, a dream about my twin and I getting married (something that I’d never experienced before), and hearing a song while working that was the same one played to me the first time I fully connected with his higher self.  I was so busy looking for him to physically return, I wasn’t even considering that his higher self wanted to reconnect.

Once I accepted this truth, that his higher self was with me, wanted to be with me, wanted me to trust him and let him back into my life, it was like fireworks went off inside of me.  I was feeling him constantly once again, my heart filled with love and healing energy, everything felt possible once again.  I was also opening up to new insight and wisdom within and a stronger sense of self-confidence.  It was completely transformative to allow his energy back into my heart, to accept his higher self as my partner in a way that’s just as important in my life as a physical partner would be and to believe in this connection fully.  

The twin flame journey is truly one of faith.  Not a faith that can be told to you from web sites and gurus and religious leaders, as everyone’s path is different, but one that you experience and learn from as you go.  And just like any path walked in faith, when you finally see your own light and accept that this path is your authentic truth, nothing else can sway you, you find inner peace in a way that nothing else compares to.  

I accept that my twin flame is my soul partner for life.  The connection I have with his higher self is healing, uplifting, steady, supportive and fills my heart with love on a daily basis.  It’s a connection that doesn’t require his physical presence.  I know we both have a lot to learn from being apart physically. I can’t even begin to say how much I’ve grown during these short few months apart, and even in our times apart prior to that.  It is, however, a path that will bring us back together physically when we’re both ready to be present in our truth.  I know this is true, but I don’t require proof of it to love him, and I don’t require him in my life physically to be happy.  For me to wait for HIM to express his truth before I live inside of mine is to continue my journey in pain and confusion and frustration.  That doesn’t benefit me, and it is not something I want to do anymore.