I'm tired, Jim.

Sometimes, I suppose, it's just better to be alone. A RP companion blog to Unposted Letters to Moriarty. Ask away!

[thelostgunman-blog]

Are you still alive?

I wish I wasn't. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

If I remember correctly, Jim's body was never found, right? What would you do if you found out he was alive? Would you like, punch him and be pissed off that he never told you? And your opinion on Miss Adler?

It doesn't matter what I'd fucking do! He's dead-- and if he wasn't, I'd damn well make sure he was! He wasn't lost at all-- he shot himself on a roof. People came up and took the body away. I didn't stick around to watch. End of story. 

Adler was some stupid bitch who got too involved and let her feelings win out. I do enjoy the fact that the detective really thought he saved her, though. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

So it doesn't bother you, seeing Jim's face graffitied all over the walls of London, people battling out the Richard Brook/Jim Moriarty debate across the streets you walk every day? Have you ever thought about graffiting your own two cents about it?

People can fight how they please. Not like it matters at all, not like it means anything. I don't feel like voicing my own opinion. Not when it won't matter. Not when no one would listen. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Sebastian. And I wanted to ask you, maybe to make you smile a bit, what did you like about Jim? Physically and mentally.

There was nothing physically attractive about him, really. His eyes are--were--nice. But it was the mental that dragged me in. First person to ever really put up a challenge for me. 

I just loved the way he thought. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

Hello, Sebastian. A couple of questions. What would you do if Sherlock Holmes were to be found alive? And how do you feel about the Believe In Sherlock/Moriarty Was Real movement? Also, you should get a pet. Something finicky and restless and prone to ripping things to shreds, like an awfully tempered cat or something. It'll be a goddamn chore, but maybe a chore on top of the list would be... I don't know, good? Time consuming? Last question: do you have any photos of Jim?

If the detective turned out to be alive I'd do exactly what Jim told me to do if he didn't die-- kill his damned doctor. I'd probably end up killing Holmes too, but John Watson would be the real target. 

That whole movement...it makes me laugh, sort of. Knowing how close people are to the truth. I think Jim would have found it horribly amusing as well. 

I don't really like animals. I'm more of a hunter and would probably end up killing anything.

Picture wise...nothing posed or purposeful. Mainly just security camera stills. He did enjoy smiling for an audience. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

I suppose I was just wondering, because it seems to me like he'd prefer to have some measure of control over it, you know? Did you have any suspicions, when you found out he was taking a gun with him?

I gave him the gun. It was just supposed to be for protection, one of those 'worse case scenarios'. Clearly it didn't turn out that way.

...or rather, I did find out what the 'worse case scenario' was.  

[thelostgunman-blog]

So, just out of interest, do you think he knew what he was going to do, even before he got onto the roof? Or do you think it was more of a... spur-of-the-moment, kind of thing?

I don't know.

As close as I was to him and for how long I've been working for him, I still can't read Jim entirely. I knew he had the gun, but I never would have thought...

I should have just realized he would do anything to win. It should have been obvious, but it wasn't.

[thelostgunman-blog]

Oh. I'm sorry.

Don't be. I don't need anyone feeling sorry. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

What will....I mean, after the list is complete-- what will you do? Will you hire yourself off, again?

Not sure yet. I haven't really decided on anything for the future. It just doesn't seem all that... important anymore. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

They say that the villains don't get happy endings, but if that's true, how do the stories begin in the first place? Hang in there, pet. You'll get there eventually.

Don't call me pet. 

The stories begin because not everyone can be happy. Because at one point or another, something happen to someone that made them angry and hate and all that. It's just how things work.

Why the hell do the endings matter when the book hasn't even begun yet? 

[thelostgunman-blog]

No joke, I literally started crying when I read that you have the bottle of wine waiting. You...you hurt my feels. Do you ever go through his things, like the stuff he never let you see? I feel as though you have the right to after he left you like that, because he's an ass.

I respect him too much to rifle through his more private things. His office goes mainly untouched. My search ended with trying to get into his computer. Most of his drawers are locked and I don't feel the need to go through them.

He trusted me when he was alive, and I have no intentions of breaking that trust even when he's dead. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

Hey, Mr Moran. Heard about the whole thing. Um, condolences, I suppose, I hope he's not dead. I was a huge fan of Richard Brook.

There's nothing to hope for. He's not coming back. Unlike all these wonderful fairy tales and story books, not everyone gets what they want. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

Do you feel any sort of kinship with Doctor John Watson? Considering you both lost people very close to you. People who people thought you were in an intimate romantic relationship with. People you both had to watch kill themselves.

The kinship we have-- or rather, had goes back further then just who we worked with. At one point, the good doctor as I fought on the same battle field. Gave him orders and all that. But I got kicked off a little sooner then he did.

As for right now...there's an understanding, if you will. I get it, but that doesn't mean we're going to go cry on eachother's shoulders. Probably be for the best if he still doesn't know I exist. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

Oh, just figured I'd drop in and try to console you a bit. Not usually my style, but you are my best sniper no matter what universe it is, so I figure I can do something like that for you.

I'm not too fond of any sort of consoling, whether it be from any form of Jim or not. I'll be fine on my own.

Thanks, but no thanks, Jim. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

I'm sorry. You are right of course. It's just difficult for me not to do anything. If you could tell him something you never had the chance to before, what would it be?

It's easier to not do anything then sit around and try knowing you really can't.

I'd tell him to come home, because I've still got that bottle of wine waiting for him. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

Sebastian, can I snuggle you? You're still grieving and don't bother trying to deny it. You need a good snuggle. Maybe we can watch Phantom of the Opera.

I would really prefer it if you didn't 'snuggle' me. I don't usual snuggle. And I don't particularly like operas if they're not in a proper theater. 

[thelostgunman-blog]

Different universes, Bastian. Do I call you Bastian in this one? Can't be sure. Different parallel universes all coalescing on one not-so-little blog site. I'm sorry to hear you're all choked up and breaking without me there.

I-- you did, sometimes. I just...I'm not choked up or breaking! Just...

What the hell do you want!?