Which of the guys spends the longest on their hair? Who took the longest to arrive at their signature hairstyle? Who would be most distressed to find themselves stranded without a hair product in sight?
This is a fun series of questions! Reminds me of the shopping/style question from a few asks ago. Let’s dive in and see where we land!
He lands in the top spots on most of the lists in the above ask, so it’s only fitting we start with the Warrior of Love.
Longest hairstyle to style of the guys? IT’S THIS GUY, 100%. Do you know how long it takes to create a jelly-roll pompadour? Do you know how much product it takes to keep it in place? DID YOU REAIZE THAT IT REQUIRES A BLOW-DRYER??? That means Kuwabara is HIGHLY DEPENDENT on products to achieve his look and probably spends an EXORBITANT amount of time in the bathroom each morning whilst preparing his daily ‘do. Shizuru taught him well how to properly style AND care for his hair; I imagine he has a few different hair masks and conditioning treatments he uses to help it recover from constantly being drowned in hair products...
That means Kuwabara would absolutely be the most devastated to wind up on a deserted island with no products (not to mention no outlets to run his hair dryer) out of all the main boys. He would just DIE. But he’s actually pretty handsome when his hair is left loose and soft, so once people start making comments about how it shows off his bone structure, he’d decide that maybe not always falling back on the pomp’ might be OK on occasion...
Kuwabara also arrived at his hairstyle the second-fastest out of all the guys. (The one who claims that crown can be found at the bottom of this list.) He saw a Yankee on the street in kindergarten, imprinted on him baby-duck style, and never looked back. Shizuru showed him out to style the pomp, of course, and there you have it: Kuwabara’s signature style, which he began wearing at age 7.
IN SUMMARY: Takes the longest on his hair, arrived at his style the quickest, and would be the most devastated to be on a deserted island with no products.
When it comes to taking the longest on their hair, Yusuke comes in second. He ties his identity as a punk into his slicked-back style, so he takes great care to get up and work on his hair each day. He doesn’t primp and whatnot like Kuwabara (Yusuke has never touched a hair dryer, for instance) but he has a giant jar of pomade on his nightstand that he uses to make sure his hair stays back and off his forehead. He can get quite picky about how it looks!
However... Yusuke is also pretty lazy. Sometimes he literally just lathers his hands in pomade, runs them through his hair, and runs out the door. It depends on how much sleep he got the night before. He also isn’t picky about the products he uses and will substitute whatever he can find if he happens to run out of pomade. (Recall the manga chapter where he literally SLICKED HIS HAIR BACK WITH BEER...)
He also happened to arrive at his style rather quickly. He saw someone with slicked-back hair in a movie and went, “Yup—that’s me.” It helped that Keiko hated the hairstyle, which only made Yusuke cling to it more fiercely...
As far as the deserted island goes? He’d moan about it for a day or two, but he’d forget about it pretty quickly... until someone makes fun of his natural hair, in which case he’d start whining all over again. And then he’d start using, like, coconuts or whatever as styling products. It’s in his character, after all...
IN SUMMARY: Second-longest to style, found signature style pretty early, and would be annoyed at not having products on a deserted island for a few days, but he’d get over it pretty fast.
Now I know what some of you might be thinking: “Surely this beautiful man is actually the one who spends the most time on his hair; you put him in the wrong spot on this list!”
Well, my friends, if you think that, then I assure you that you’re actually wrong. Kurama is quite low-maintenance and only spends a few minutes styling his hair each day (if that).
Y’see, Kurama thinks of his hair not as an aesthetic accouterment, but rather as a means to a practical end. He hides things in it, twining seeds and plant cuttings inside his mane for use in battle (just look at him draw that rose in the above GIF). He looks at his long hairstyle as a TOOL, not as something to make him look pretty. He chose it entirely because it’s useful.
To that end, he doesn’t even take very good care of his hair! We know this is canonical because Karasu actually comments on Kurama’s apparently out-of-control split ends! (GET A DAMN TRIM, KURAMA, JESUS) Kurama probably washes his hair, neglects conditioner or only uses it occasionally, and likely just combs it and ties it back with some well-placed seedlings before walking out the door each day.
Kurama also arrived at his signature long style kind of late in life, definitely mid-middle school at the earliest. We know this is canonical because of the flashbacks in YYH that show him with short hair until after he met Maya.
I believe he chose to grow out his mane once his mother sickened and he started using his demonic powers to try and save her. He knew using his powers would attract other demons, so he grew it out to hide weapons so he could protect her. Before then, he was content to lie low and pretend to be entirely human, which included letting his mother choose how his hair was cut.
There’s a point to be made here that perhaps he just reverted to his old-life hair, rather than chose a new style, but now we’re... splitting hairs.
That is the worst pun I’ve ever made in my life and I’m not sorry at all.
As for being on a deserted island? He wouldn’t mind, because thanks to his mastery over plants, he can concoct whatever cleansing and styling products he desires with ease. For this Kuwabara and Yusuke are quite grateful...
IN SUMMARY: Doesn’t take long to style, arrived at his style rather late, and would not be at all perturbed at the lack of product on a deserted island.
Oh, Hiei. My favorite lost boy. My stray cat son. My little goblin child.
You spend ABSOLUTELY ZERO time on your hair, do you?
In fact, you’ve had the same hairstyle since the Koorime threw you overboard. (THIS IS CANON. WE HAVE PROOF.)
And you wouldn’t give a single flying fuck about the deserted island quandary, would you? No, you would not. You were raised by bandits and probably only bathe when it rains; you don’t give a rat’s ass if there’s hair products around or not, and you laugh at anyone who does. Other people merely adopted product-free hair; you were born in it the life, molded by it. You didn't see a hair product until you were already a man, and by then products meant nothing to you but POINTLESS VANITY!
Hiei looks at people who use hair products and sneers.
Especially if that person is Kuwabara.
And that’s literally all there is to it.
IN SUMMARY: Hiei spends no time on his hair, he arrived at his style quite literally at birth, and his hair ain’t afraid of deserted islands at all.
This was a great outlet for me to be ridiculous, so anon... thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the opportunity.
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