What do we have here?

[askcosplaysniper]

Th’ asshole would be invadin’ my private quarters. Why would I be nice to him? Th’ same applies to any BLU Spy I find in my room as well!

[themanfrombourgogne]

I believe it more important to note zat any self-respecting spy worzth 'is weight would refrain from being caught and leave no witnesses..

[themanfrombourgogne]

Under Teufort

[themanfrombourgogne]

    Swimming in a 3-piece suit was probably one of the most annoying hindrances Renard could think of.

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[nothingpersonalmate-deactivated]

Eugene was pretty sure Spies were suppose to be a lot more aware than what this wanker was. He wondered if he was new for a moment, but frowned as the sentry started frying out. Engineer might be mad at him for letting that happen, but maybe he’d figure out Eugene couldn’t really do much once it was placed down.

That kick, though, was enough to make even the Sniper mad. The stupid Spy was pretty brash, apparently he thought he was the best. With a snarl, the crocodile Sniper uncoiled from the shadows and leaped at the annoying RED. There was no way he was going to let him take down the dispenser. 

He grabbed the smaller man by his shoulders and pinned him to the wall, holding him up off the ground. Spies were tricky and the best way to deal with them was to make them helpless… No good footing, he could barely move his arms, Eugene was positive the Spy was mostly stuck.

"It ain’t nice ta kick somethin’ after it’s already gone down…" he growled.

[themanfrombourgogne]

    He didn’t know. There were very few things that Renard didn’t know and even fewer that he didn’t have the capacity to find out. He had no idea such a creature, which from the uniform must have been a previous BLU Sniper, even existed down there. How long had BLU had something like this? It couldn’t have been long; surely his other teammates would have spoken of it if they’d confronted it. He realized he must be the first to do so. And he had absolutely no fucking idea what to do about it. But it wasn’t like he had to wait long for some sort of action.

    The Spy yelped in surprise when he was gripped by the shoulders with brutal force, his arms pinned to his sides. He could only stare in horror as he was quite literally lifted off the ground several inches, his feet left dangling, and crushed against the concrete wall behind him. Renard would be lying if he said he wasn’t extremely intimidated. At 6 feet, there weren’t many who were taller than him and if they were, it wasn’t by much. He was confident enough in his dexterity and skill to get him out of any situation he got himself into but this was far out of his range of experience.

    The low rumble of words that poured from the creature’s mouth moments later made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. The sentry? He was worried about the sentry? The spy’s eyes darted to the busted machine on the ground and then back to that reptilian stare. The Sniper’s concern and controlled aggression suggested that he perhaps, wasn’t the kind of mindless monstrosity read about in horror fiction. And this thought made him feel a little better, but no less cautious. It gave him that extra boost of assurance however, his senses weren’t so fuzzed over with shock as they were.

    He remembered that he still had his gun and knife on him. He calculated that his best bet would be to just get loose and run. Forget the kill count. His feet might not have been touching the ground but that didn’t mean he couldn’t use them. Staring the sniper straight in the eyes, he gave the BLU a swift, hard knee to the groin with all the strength he could muster. If there was one tactic that always worked, it was that one, and the RED had no qualms about exploiting it. When his shoes touched the floor he immediately moved far out of range of the other, pulling out his revolver and keeping it pointed on at the growling man, doubled over and understandably pissed. He fired off a few rounds just to distract and disorient before spinning on his heels and booking it. Renard was fairly certain that if he could just get out of the tunnel, he’d be safe. At least from it, the rest of the battle probably not. He doubted that a crocodile hybrid such as that one would venture out into broad daylight, especially since he hadn’t done so already.

[themanfrombourgogne]

Under Teufort

    Rockets whistled past and grenades detonated on impact and Renard LeBlanc was reminded for the thousandth time that day why he hated Teufort. The BLU and RED bases were built far too close together and the battlefront between the two was unbelievably chaotic. It made his line of work extremely difficult. Not because he couldn’t sneak by, that wasn’t a problem; he could probably walk right on over and be utterly ignored by the other mercenaries, so focused were they on killing each other. No, it was the fact that there was just so much shrapnel and a plethora of bullets flying in every direction that it was a feat in its own right to get through it without being hit accidentally.

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[nothingpersonalmate-deactivated]

The water was surprisingly cool and clean, despite the amount of bodies that fell into the little pond like area. Something had to be feeding it, otherwise swimming in it would be a nightmare. Eugene found himself floating lazily just outside of the BLU base’s sewer tunnel, doing his best impersonation of a log. Though logs didn’t wear tattered blue pants, sunglasses and a watch, nor did they have scales and tails.

The former BLU Sniper had suffered one of the oh-so-wonderful respawn accidents recently. They weren’t as uncommon as the company had claimed and now here he was, floating in the water and doing his best log impersonation, just like a crocodile.

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[themanfrombourgogne]

    He silently thanked the manufacturers for having the forethought of making the weapons waterproof, otherwise his little trip might have been for naught. He’d just have to be sure not to be touching the sapper itself when it clicked on. He smirked to himself, that’d be a way to go, shocked to death by his own sapper. He checked the calibration of the little box and pulled his revolver from the inner pocket of his discarded coat before continuing forward. He loosened his posture, shifting his weight and slouching his shoulders some, getting into character.

    He might not have been able to get away with disguising as the BLU scout on the field, there was no way he was fast enough, but down in the tunnel the short distances and sharp turns gave him a liable excuse to bet a bit slower. Renard turned the corner and spotted the little nest. Well, he spotted the sentry first. It wheeled around with a conviction that made his stomach drop, but, seeing no threat, it turned back the other way beeping in long intervals. Sweeping the area with a quick gaze, the Frenchman moved behind the machine and slapped the sapper onto it, failing to see the sniper hiding in the darkened corner. Of course, he wasn’t exactly looking for the kind of creature the BLU happened to be. Crocodile hybrids weren’t exactly the norm, even in a place with death-defying functions like respawn and mediguns.

    The autonomous gun shuttered and trembled under the electrical pulses to its circuits. Ren gave the tripod a strong kick, knocking it over, useless, letting the sapper eke away at the last of its life. He didn’t know where the Engineer was, but he would probably have gotten the notice by now. His plan was to get rid of the dispenser in the area as well before retreating the same way he’d come.   

[themanfrombourgogne]

Under Teufort

    Rockets whistled past and grenades detonated on impact and Renard LeBlanc was reminded for the thousandth time that day why he hated Teufort. The BLU and RED bases were built far too close together and the battlefront between the two was unbelievably chaotic. It made his line of work extremely difficult. Not because he couldn’t sneak by, that wasn’t a problem; he could probably walk right on over and be utterly ignored by the other mercenaries, so focused were they on killing each other. No, it was the fact that there was just so much shrapnel and a plethora of bullets flying in every direction that it was a feat in its own right to get through it without being hit accidentally.

    The Frenchman hissed softly through his teeth as the long, sweeping flames of a flamethrower came a little too close for comfort and he backed off, closer to the fence and the murky water dividing the buildings. The last time he’d gotten into the BLU base was via the roof of the bridge while the rain of fire was focused down below. Getting up there was no easy task and definitely not a stunt he’d like to pull again if he had the option to refrain from doing so. He hadn’t even gotten away with the intel. He was stopped dead by an Engineer who had the immense luck to round the corner at the same time he had. Of course, it only takes a few shots from a shotgun at pointblank range to drop a man and that’s exactly how he went, waking up irritated and miserable in the respawn room a few moments later.

    However, his death wasn’t a complete waste. If the Engineer’s nest wasn’t in the Intel Room, and it wasn’t on the field, it had to be set up in the sewers to serve as a way to limit RED’s means of entering the building. And before succumbing to the load of bullets in his chest cavity, the brunet might have heard the faint, familiar beeping echoing up from below. He figured he take this opportunity to slip in and get rid of it. Even though it wasn’t particularly a nuisance where it was at, it certainly wouldn’t be hurting anyone to get rid of it altogether.

    With this in mind, the spy, albeit unhappily, slipped down into the opaque, stagnant waters and moved towards the sewers, disguising himself as a certain scout he knew wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon along the way.

[themanfrombourgogne]

WHY'RE YOU A RED WANKER??

Good lord, you’re loud aren’t you? A bit startling considering I do not know you at all mais…I could answer your question.

I would say zhat I am RED only because mon employeur précédent sold my contract out to Redmond.