I'm just a nobody.

I am a pseudophilosopher at best.

[themanonthesubway]

The Pearl

The sun prickles on my sun-kissed skin. 

It's summer. 

The crops are wilting from the unforgiving blaze. 

The bitter cold has come to pass. 

'Tis the season of the sloth. 

And soon the storms will follow. 

But this pearl will not waver. 

And yet it will never show its luster---for it is the clam that is safeguarding it is overcome by the bane of the red tide. 

The pearl will endure, 

forever.

[themanonthesubway]

I See Nothing

Look into my eyes. 

What do you see? 

What you'll probably see is your own face reflected back at you. 

When I look into your eyes, 

I see a black void trying to make friends with the lit room. 

I see darkness crawling and sprawling into a curved shape. 

It looks almost human. 

But it isn't. 

When you blink, the darkness is swatted into non-existence. 

But you open your eyes again and I see its hatred and its sorrow.

It hates me. It hates everyone. 

Such a sight is so revolting. 

But it is somehow so pitiful.

[themanonthesubway]

Tough Love

I am entwined in your tight embrace. 

Your kiss leaves hickeys on my neck. 

When I fell, you caught me in lovelessness. 

You hold me tight and I couldn't speak; couldn't breathe. 

'Til death do us part. 

But then again, it was just a noose.

[themanonthesubway]

By Demons Be Driven

I keep them locked away in the deepest depths of my mind. 

If you listen closely enough, you'll hear them wail and scream in torment and in darkness.

[themanonthesubway]

Black Pudding

What once was, so shall it be. 

I dwell upon the face of the primeval waters. 

But this time, no light came forth. 

This wasn't the beginning.

This was the end.

[themanonthesubway]

Adrift

I have the power to change the night to day. And yet I do not hold power to move the stars. But it is the stars that have the power to move me. 

I have the power to think. And yet I do not choose my thoughts. They come and they go like the tide ebbs and flows. I have the power to go back in time; to go to the past. But it is not that I wield time. It is time that wields me.

I have the power to consume life. I have the power to choose what I devour. But it is my hunger that is the master of my being.

Sometimes I think to myself of my purpose. I am merely drifting on a long winding river; waiting until the mouth ingests me. Sometimes I'd like to think that my oar would steer me from a different fate. But alas, the current is too strong.

[themanonthesubway]

Nov. 27, 2017

Again, this feeling arrives. A wild pressing against my head. It's different from last time. Like I caught some sort of virus that's mutated. It's my fault anyways. Maybe cold air will calm me down. But even then, I've taken up too much time. I'm too slow. It won't be for long till life catches up.

[themanonthesubway]

Just Another Space Story

Beneath all the stars on an alien planet. 

I am finally home.

[themanonthesubway]

Peeping Tom

I know a lot of secrets. 

People just seem to tell me a little bit about themselves that they would otherwise not tell anyone else. 

I guess I'm just a trustworthy person. 

There are little secrets, big secrets, not-so-saucy secrets, and very saucy secrets. 

What's common about all secrets is that no matter how insignificant your secret is, you never want it to get to the wrong person. 

I was never a limelight character. I was always overlooked at. I was basically invisible to everyone else. 

But being invisible has its advantages. 

In a group, you get to observe each and every person as they are listening to the one speaking. You can see that certain look that everyone gives to the speaker; the look of anticipation and curiosity. 

I am currently suffering from depression. I will admit that it has made me a bit of an attention seeker. It kind of just appeared suddenly out of the blue and BOOM! I was taking pills here and there. I'm trying very hard not to think about death. So everyday in school, I'd go to the bathroom and cry silently about life, basically.

There's this hole in one of the cubicles where you can see what's going on outside. And believe me when I say I've seen a lot: junkies, hook-ups, illegal shit, you name it. I stayed silent for the most part. I wouldn't want to be some sort of whistleblower or anything like that. 

But of all the things that I've seen, the one that really caught my eye was her. It was in the middle of the rainy season. As the weather was depressing, so was I. I was crying out loud so I was startled when the door open. I wiped my tears and peeped through the hole. It was a girl. Why was she in the men's room? 

She was about 5 feet tall, more or less. She had a tattoo of a star on her neck. She had her hair dyed blue. She was very slim. She'd wear a leather jacket and skinny jeans. She wore boots to match her outfit. 

I'd watch her stare at herself in the mirror and chant: "I'm strong. I can make it!" It was a weird experience to say the least. She started to become a regular in the men's room. She'd talk about her dreams of going abroad and seeing the world. She'd talk about the man of her dreams. And I was just there, silently watching her every move. I could never make out her face since she was facing back against the wall. I sort of had a crush on her. But the problem was that we were total opposites. She seemed like the kind of person who had her shit together, while I was losing my mind over the smallest things. 

One time I watched her change clothes since she was soaking wet. Since I was a creep, I ogled at her body. Every inch was so perfect. It looked like she was made for me, like I was destined to see this girl; But only see. We were never meant to meet. I finally had the courage to come up to her. I opened the lock to my cubicle when she was terrified and ran. I ran after her and when I was out of the bathroom, she was gone amongst the sea of people. I never saw her again. I was hoping she'd come back, but she didn't. 

And even after all that, I never even saw her face.

[themanonthesubway]

Chronoperception

Time, 

Old as the beginning. 

Such a fickle thing. 

Slow as the tide. 

Watch as it turns a forest wide. 

Quick as lightning, 

With its instantaneous flashes so blinding. 

I ask the time and church bells ring. 

I ask for the time and death takes his swing. 

You can not stop the march of time.

[themanonthesubway]

Dragonbreath

He speaks in flames. 

His words ever so blazing. 

Scorching all in the wake of his voice. 

He screams and an explosion of heat bursts out. 

He talks and his warmth embraces my bitter cold. 

Together we dance and frolic on verdant spring.

[themanonthesubway]

Of Forgotten Semantics

I was taken abroad. 

An accouchement if you will. 

But I was only playing the fraud. 

The highest price to be paid is kill. 

I was afeared. 

It was never my intention to affright. 

To me the path seemed cleared. 

But it only lead me to my greatest blight. 

The greatest betrayal of an ambuscade. 

Orchestrated to leave me at the hands of the apothecary. 

But my appetency to exonerate does not fade.

 And yet still I was left with all the burden to carry. 

In an assay to forget, 

I was torn asunder. 

Forever haunted by regret, 

I shout by the roar of thunder. 

Left me with a severe kind of ague, 

But not caused by any kind of animalcule. 

A malady that only demons can imbue, 

To a person lucky enough to play the fool. 

God says to me: "Know aught of your bane, young one?" 

God speaks to baseborns in bedlam. 

"Didn't we have fun?" 

"A rush like this only comes in seldom." 

"You better bethink oneself of betimes." 

I spoke to the bibliopole of my bijoux. 

She knows of their perfect crimes. 

How they would do dark voodoo. 

They cursed me to be swallowed by the billow. 

I wish them to be put in bridewell for all of eternity. 

But I can only cry by the willow. 

To kill is the only currency, 

That can put my poor soul to rest.

[themanonthesubway]

So I’m currently taking pills after I was diagnosed with Brief Psychotic Disorder last December 28th 2016. It left me really depressed. So now I’m here in the midst of all the poetry works in Tumblr. Mine doesn’t really stand out but it has helped me through a lot, plus music. Like Rudy Francisco in his poem, My Honest Poem, says: “I’m trying to convince my shadow that I’m someone worth following.” This line really hits me because then I think: “Will someone look up to me someday?”, “Am I worth something more than what I thought?” These questions come to mind and then it hit me. There’s so much more left to do.

[themanonthesubway]

Mr. Nobody

I like to go crowd surfing. 

But it's probably different from what you might think.

I just let myself drown amongst a sea of people. 

I do not know their names. 

I just let them pass by. 

I just like to stand there, 

And disappear amongst the crowd. 

My name is gray. 

Reminiscent of my world. 

It's a very mundane life; I must say. 

Today, however, was very strange. 

I saw rose petals falling from the sky. 

Is there more to my life than my gray little world? 

And then I snapped back to reality and the petals stopped falling. 

It was just another boring day.

[themanonthesubway]

Colours

I don't feel blue today. Today as I'm writing this poem, I feel like a color that's beyond the constraints of the color wheel. #Edgy To start off, I am a chameleon but I'll get more into that later. I am also tetrachromatic. I see things most people don't. Most things are not what they seem to be. I am also a painter. My world is my canvass and my canvass is me and me is my world. So I am going to name colors that I like and I will attribute them to my personality. I like blue because it makes me feel cool. You know; the chill dude. I also count myself as being somewhat intelligent. I like red because it makes me feel like I'm hot. I am feisty frisky freak. Ladies? I am also somewhat passionate about most of the things that I do. I like green because I'm a particularly friendly person. I'm also full of life and vigor and I love it. I like the color purple as I am somewhat a mysterious character. I like to maintain a stoic facade over the people I interact with. I like the color orange because I am really spontaneous. I am unpredictable in a sense that I'm awesome. I like the color yellow. My imagination is just filled to the brim with energy. Actually I am the color yellow because I like to deceive myself that I'm okay when I'm not. I am the color orange because I am anxiety. I am the color purple because I'm secretly arrogance in my own thoughts. I am the color green because I am envy and disgust. I am the color red because I am anger; anger at the world and myself. I am the color blue because I am depression. Actually I suck at painting. I can only paint in shades of grey because it's what I can only afford. I'm not tetrachromatic. I see things that aren't actually there. I'm just a psychotic. I'm not a chameleon. I only live inside a chameleon. It's not what I pictured it to be. It's all dark and slimy.

[themanonthesubway]

Why is there never enough time for everything? Is my creator also bound by the constraints of time?

[themanonthesubway]

Auditory Augmentations

I have just undergone surgery the other day. I was starting to lose my sense of hearing. I experience this phenomena where I would sometimes lose audition and a heavy silence would squeeze my ears. I get irritated by this so I decided I would get it fixed. My otolaryngologist warned me that loud stimuli might cause malfunctions in the implant that will be attached to my ear. Good thing I'm scared of those so there'll be no problem with that. I asked her how the thing works exactly. She said that's not important. But I felt confident in their abilities since I was in the care of one of the best hospitals in the country. I went through the process without any pain. Everything went fine with the operation. There were no complications of any sort. Everything was okay. So I went about my day talking to basically everyone because well, I'm a social butterfly. I was pleased with the results! My sense of hearing really improved! I was talking with my friend Christian over at the coffee shop. The conversation was going smooth and all when I suddenly heard him say: "Look at this pathetic loser." I was startled from what I heard and I was taken back for a second. "What the fuck did you just say to me?" I asked angrily. "What do you mean?" "I didn't say anything." He responded. I stormed out of the coffee shop. I was pissed off. I was walking down the street and I was cooling off and all that when suddenly I heard a woman walk past by me say: "Look at this hottie!" I blushed and felt flattered for a bit but then I realized that she was talking on the phone. "Wait....what the hell just happened?" I was confused. I also walk past this homeless man who was asking for change but I ignored him. I heard him say: "Selfish prick!" But he didn't even open his mouth. I suddenly realized. Was I reading their minds? I was in a bit of a kerfuffle when suddenly a the traffic light turned red and this horde of people came rushing in. And then BOOM! This loud sound was blaring in my ears. It was each person's thoughts that all coalesced into one giant dissonant noise and it was hurting my ears so bad. I rushed home where there was no one around. It was finally peace and quiet. I had time to think. I was blown away by my newfound ability. And then it happened. The loud sound suddenly came back ringing my ears with agonizing pain. "WAIT WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" "ARRRGGHHH!" "NO! PLEASE! NO! "PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" "GOD PLEASE MAKE THE VOICES GO AWAY!" "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" And then everything went black.