hi, I am no longer planning on uploading anymore works to this blog (and probably my other blogs, but I don't feel like disclosing that yet) it's not that I don't enjoy writing or that I want to quit writing - it's just I often don't feel comfortable posting my works and I want to estrange myself from the vocaloid fandom due to personal issues. I'm trying to work through some recurring problems from my mental health and believe it's best I don't involve myself too much with things that can trigger these problems. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, if any, and appreciate all who supported my work and me. I will still be existing on tumblr under a different alias and I don't wish to disclose that publicly for personal reasons; however, if anyone actually wants to go on a wild goose chase and continue following me there I will provide it (privately). I may occasionally still post original pieces, but I'm not so much planning on uploading any writing, fan fiction especially. thank you!
Ship: Miku/Gumi
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Rating: T
She never really thought - or believed - she was capable of being loved.
If anything, the people who showed her affection were just - faking it. She was sure they were all pretending, just being nice because they had to, or something. Surely.
There was no way anyone would love her for who she was - someone through and through awful, terrible, destined to be alone. That was how it was supposed to be. That was how she believed it was supposed to be.
But then there was Miku, and that look in her eyes. The look of adoration, of lust, of longing as she cupped her face in her hands and held her a breath's distance away. It was peculiar.
It was right there, in front of Gumi - the evidence of someone loving her - but her heart still tugged her down, whispering, it's not real, it's not real, she doesn't love you, it's not real.
Her girlfriend hesitated, eyelids fluttering as she dragged her fingers through Gumi's hair. "Are you alright?" she asked, her voice a drop of honey. "Do you feel uncomfortable? I can stop."
Miku shifted her weight to stop straddling Gumi, the warmth of her soft thighs leaving her stomach.
She hadn't even said anything, but Miku was already continuing, "I knew I was rushing you. I'm so, so sorry, Guums. I didn't mean to force you into anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you know? I'm sorry."
Gumi blinked, having hardly any time to piece together the situation. "What? No - no, Miku, it's not that… I just, uh." She paused, rubbing her head. "I just…"
Miku scooted over to her side on the bed, resting a hand on her shoulder. "I won't be hurt or mad if you don't want to do this, you know. I understand."
She laughed nervously. "Of course I want to do this - it's not that I don't want to, or I feel uncomfortable, okay? It's something else."
"What is it?" Miku propped her chin on her shoulder to gaze up at her. "Don't be afraid about being honest. I'm open, I'm here to listen."
Gumi closed her eyes. "It's so stupid. It's such a stupid thought. It'll sound even more stupid out loud."
Her girlfriend tilted her head. "Even if it sounds stupid, it's still bothering you."
"Do you… do you love me, Miku?"
She blinked, as if she was surprised by the question. "Of course I do. I love you, Gumi. I mean it every time I say it."
"It's not that… it's not like you're pretending or anything, right? You're not faking it just because you feel bad?"
Miku smiled in confusion. "Do I seem… dishonest when I say it? Or are there things I do that makes you think that?"
Gumi hesitated. "No. Of course not. It's just… I don't know."
Two hands cupped her face again, squishing her cheeks. Miku's solemn expression appeared in front of hers. "Gumi. Be honest with me. Is there anything I'm doing that makes you think I don't love you?"
Her breath caught up in her throat and she swallowed. "No. I swear it's not anything you're doing. It's just me. It's just me being silly."
Miku's eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"
Gumi took a breath, looking away. "I just… I know you love me. I know you do. I just can't see how. I can't see… how anyone would love me."
Her girlfriend frowned. "What do you mean? You're so cute, Gumi. I can't believe you think no one would love you."
"N-no I'm not. I'm anything but. I'm a horrible person and I don't deserve anyone's love. I'm terrible."
Miku lowered her hands, eyes dropping to her knees. She'd seen the tears glistening in Gumi's eyes and felt a pang of guilt in her chest. "Guums, you're not a horrible person. You're not terrible. You're so compassionate and caring. You always try your best. You're always there to hear me out in times of trouble. If anything, you deserve all the love in the world."
Gumi sniffed. "I'm sorry."
Miku glanced back up. "What?"
"I'm sorry. I told you it was stupid. I didn't mean to trouble you about this, or make you think that you're doing something wrong. It's just me."
Miku reached out to hold her hands. They were warm, clammy, trembling. "Don't be sorry. It's okay. We all have insecurities and doubts. They're not stupid or silly or anything, alright?" She squeezed her hands. "But no matter what, I still love you Gumi. I'm not faking it. You mean the world to me, and I'd never do anything so selfish or hurtful as that."
Gumi blinked away her tears, cracking a weak smile. "Thank you. Thank you for listening to me."
Miku brushed a strand of hair from her face, before pecking her on the nose. "Anytime, my cutie carrot."
She cringed at the nickname, before leaning in to kiss her girlfriend on the lips. "I love you," she said.
"I love you, too."
this was hell to write because (pulls out zero experience) so oops sue me if this is just dumb. writing this was like. trying to write fantasy because i was like “wow all of this is just. bullshit. im making this up. i dont even know if it’s a possible thing that can happen!”
continuously cries about my exams and lack of motivation to study and my constant craving for Freedom
(donkey voice) i need a hug.
anywayyyy I depart, and intend not to post anything until after this week is done but I also have no self-control so who knows.
She wished she would dream about someone else behind closed eyes.
A girl who would love her back, who wouldn't leave her hanging by a thin thread above the ground -
A girl who would hold her hand and smile, who wouldn't be frustrated by the results of an unrequited love -
Anyone, anyone else but the girl she knew she had no chance with, even though her heart could never comprehend that.
It wasn't fun being broken.
Waking up every day, being met with the same reality long forgotten in her slumber: things were as per usual, and she wasn't anyone special.
Every time she dreamt of her, her with mysterious eyes and short hair, a piece of her shattered heart was stolen, never to be returned.
Rin raised her hand above her head, fingers outstretched to the ceiling. She met nothing but the cool morning air. She was trying to find the surface to pull her out of this daze.
It wasn't fair - and no, she wasn't talking about her unmet feelings. It wasn't fair because she knew, she was so well aware of her fate, it had been spelt out before her many times before.
But her dreams - they kept denying, and denying, and denying. She loves you, Gumi loves you, you're the most important in her world.
No, her mind would whisper, no I'm not.
Gumi didn't love her. She couldn't even say I love you in a platonic way - no, saying it will just lead you on, and I don't want that.
Rin couldn't say - she could hardly think - how much that tore her. Of course, she understood, she always understood - but still, was her love really that tainted, that unwanted, that terrifying?
She was in the list of 'don't say I love you, because maybe she'll get the wrong idea and think she has a chance'.
Supposedly.
(But she knew enough, she knew, she knew so much it hurt -)
She didn't want to have these feelings, these tainted feelings; they only got in the way of everything, blurred her vision, broke her heart even more than it should be. She wished so desperately she could say that.
She wished she could speak up for herself, to say her thoughts, but it was always a topic to avoid, always a topic never to be touched on.
So instead she'd spend every day, taunted by her dreams and let down by her heart, hoping one day she'd wake up empty and not full of hope, not full of love, full of nothing at all.
Rin didn't want to see her smiling face in her dreams. She didn't want to hold her hand, she didn't want to go on cute dates, she didn't want to feel that connection. If only her unconscious mind could understand that - how much she desperately wanted out -
After all, if no one - not even Gumi - wanted these feelings, why would she ever want them at all?
SORRY. am just dumping a lot of stuff on here while I’m at it bc (shrugs). one day I’ll actually post something worthwhile Reading but that may be. never. yeah.
I wrote this like, a week ago, but then I forgot about it, and I felt like it was just really stupid, because anything I write or say (or feel) is stupid - anyway I just wrote the whole thing while at the train station/on the train to places I had to be.
"stop posting one-sided fanfics" people beg as I shove it down their throats. "no" i say.
I'll get around to writing less Sad things, maybe, on my break, but rn I'm just default sad because finals are happening. I have like a week until I'm free :,,,,)
Ship: onesided!Mikurin, onesided!Gumiku
Genre: Angst/Friendship
Rating: T
"Even after everything, I still can't be upset with how the way things are."
They were sitting under the cherry blossom tree like old times; staring across the field at the soccer club's afternoon practice, Miku's knees tucked up under her chin, and Gumi fiddling with a blade of stray grass.
Most of the oval was dirt, but every now and again, green would peak through the bleak soil, fighting against the harsh conditions.
Miku sighed. Summer had already come and gone. The days were drawing shorter, the mornings colder. Their time was drawing to a close.
"It still bothers me," she said after a while.
Gumi glanced up, startled, but her expression relaxed into somewhat a sad smile. "Mm?"
"It still bothers me I can't be - hurt," Miku continued, an unfamiliar dryness in her voice. "I can't - feel or show my pain. I can't be human."
"Yeah," was all her friend could answer, holding in the rest of her words.
"It's not fair, but it's okay for her - for her to be in complete ruins." She grimaced at her knees. "Even after everything, I still can't be upset with how the way things are."
Gumi was silent, musing. "Rin is fragile. And you know that - you know that everyone would run to her side, have you snap, Miku."
Miku cast a glance at her friend. "Would you?"
She stared back. "Me?" She forced a laugh. "It's not - it's not my business, Miku. I have no interest in some cut-throat love triangle."
"Glad you think that way," the other girl said with a huff.
"Will you ever get over her?"
Gumi had looked away, not meeting her eyes.
Miku followed suit, feeling as if she shouldn't be staring. "Will I? Will she ever get over him?" She plucked a twig off the ground and snapped it between her fingers. Crack, crack, crack. "I just hate it that she's such a hypocrite. Everyone is. Get over her, get over her and change and be better. How can I do that, when she still mourns over that dick, and everyone seems to be so - okay with that? Why is it me who has to change?"
Miku tossed the shards of twig away from her. "It's so frustrating, Gumi! It's so frustrating."
Her friend closed her eyes, as if keeping them open would only allow the pain in her chest seep out.
"Yeah. It is. It is so frustrating."
I wrote, and completed this, at like 2:30am this morning, otherwise I would’ve just. suffered with my internal thoughts. (and like, I still suffer anyway, but at least I could sleep just feeling Sad but satisfied I poured my mind out onto paper.)
yeah anyway like I said on ffnet my motivation to write anything sweet and lovey-dovey has Gone somewhere very far away and so you’ll have to deal with my angst.
I like to think Rin is chasing after Len (the dick, lol), but it’s honestly up to you since I didn’t bother naming someone.
Len had his keys in one hand and jacket in the other, staring back from where he stood in the hallway.
She was bent over on the first step of the staircase, trembling, struggling to keep in the obnoxious sobs that shook her body. The tears kept falling and falling, nonstop, a cascade of fear and hopelessness and grief.
He turned on his heel to walk towards the front door, and she spoke up, her tongue heavy in her mouth.
"You always do this. You always give up and run when anything - anything gets too difficult."
Len froze in place, his lips parting to counter her response. "Rin -"
"Don't." She lifted her head from her hands, glaring up at him through her tears. "Don't do this to me. Remember all the times? Remember all those times I never gave up on you, no matter how difficult it was? How is this any different? How?"
He stared for a while, silent.
Rin looked back, begging, begging - all for nothing, it was all for nothing, right?
Eventually, Len sighed, the keys crunching in his hand.
"I'm sorry," was all he could say.
Then he turned and left, and she sat there in the cold, dark hall, wishing it was all but a bad dream, and when she'd wake up, he'd be there next to her.
drabbley drabbley drabble while everything goes down in flames.
A stiff uniform and her heart in her mouth, stomach in her throat.)
She stands in front of a mirror and wishes she was someone else.
New girl.
Tying a ribbon around her hair, the thought of no one knowing her name never seemed so terrifying.
.
.
.
The letter came in the mail on a Tuesday in late January - a signed white envelope with official labels, shiny and Special.
You've been accepted to attend Vocaloid College of Music Arts in Tokyo, it said, from March 2017.
Her parents smiled with pride and her uncle pat her shoulder. Her best friend couldn't look her in the eye, glued to the screen of her phone, texting someone she loved more.
It was like a dream come true.
But also a nightmare in itself.
And it sunk in her chest like heavyweight. The further she flew from Okinawa, reality bit at her toes.
Watching her breath fog the window, the thought of no one knowing her name never seemed so terrifying.
.
.
.
Her aunt lives in Yokohama, a two hour commute to-and-from. It's far, but it's something, she tells herself.
The early spring air hits her cheeks as she walks through shiny gates.
A famous conductor is erected in the courtyard.
People turn to stare.
A stranger.
Her uniform feels wrong. Her skirt scratches at her knees and she feels out of place.
New girl.
New girl.
Her eyelids flutter, someone's saying that.
"Hey. new girl," he says. A boy, tall, blue hair and blue eyes. He stares at her as she flounders, but doesn't walk to meet her.
Her voice sticks to her teeth and her lips pin themselves shut. She offers a smile. He doesn't take it.
"I have to show you to the office to get you signed in. I'm Kaito, your class president."
Kaito walks away and she follows, nothing but a fish out of water.
.
.
.
Is she really good enough to be here?
Her, and her scrawny hands that struggle to reach the octave - her, and her nasally voice the choir teacher criticised once in fifth grade - her, and her lack of charisma, her wobbly knees, her shapeless body, her average looks.
They all stare, here.
Maybe she doesn't look the part, or something. Maybe she doesn't look cut to be a famous musician.
Kaito's staring at her.
"Did you say something?" he asks.
"I did?" she asks back.
He keeps staring at her, but his mouth closes.
.
.
.
Her homeroom teacher is strict and stoic, like her father. He pushes wiry glasses up the bridge of his nose, narrows his eyes at her.
"So, you're the transfer student."
"Y - yes."
"We rarely get transfer students in the higher grades, here. Mainly due to competition - spots rarely open up."
I know, she comments in her mind.
Kaito has disappeared, somewhere.
"I hear you have exceptional talents," the teacher says. He offers a grim smile. "I hope I can see them live."
She bows. "Yes. Thank you."
The first bell chimes, much too average for such a prestigious school.
.
.
.
Like how every horror story begins, she has to stand in front of the class and say her name.
Someone laughs.
She can't see who.
Kaito sits in the middle of the front row, looking bored. Next to him is a girl with pink hair, her gaze very sharp.
On the other side as another girl with green hair, smiling.
She tries to smile back.
The teacher shifts in his chair. "Would you like to tell us about yourself?"
"Oh - um." A pause. "I play piano, and a bit of violin and guitar. I sing as well, sometimes…"
She trails off as a boy shuffles into the class from the back door. He's scowling about something, headphones in his ears, but when he looks up at her, his scowl seems to intensify.
"Len Kagamine! Late on your first day! What's your excuse?"
While the boy slumps into his seat, he rolls his eyes and pops out his earphones.
"You'll have to stay back 15 minutes to make up for wasting my -"
She gets the feeling she should take a seat.
So she shrinks away from the front of the class, away from the prying eyes, and sits downs in her allocated seat - directly in front of that boy.
Len.
Or something.
.
.
.
"Oi, new girl," someone says.
She lifts her head, seeming to have already adapted to her newfound, yet unwanted nickname.
Her classmates snicker, crowding around.
"Do you know?"
Her lips turn down in confusion.
"Know what?"
They laugh again, nudging each other.
"You're sitting in her seat."
A girl speaks - this time, she notices it's the pink-haired girl from before. She reaches up to adjust her headband, then sets a perfectly-manicured hand down onto a desk.
"You're sitting in her seat, but you'll never be her. You'll never replace her."
She feels her smile falter.
"Her? Who?"
Before the girl can answer, another voice cuts in from behind.
"Luka. Fuck off."
She turns her head back to stare at the boy, Len.
He doesn't meet her eyes. But he takes extra care to meet everyone else's.
"Miku doesn't exist anymore. So get over it."
Luka gasps, offended. "You get over it, Len."
The pair glare at each other. The rest of the class is already bored, dispersing to eat their lunches.
Eventually, Luka growls and leaves.
Len still doesn't look at her, but she feels inclined to say something - anything.
"Thank you."
He places an earphone into his ear, and with no hesitation, says, "Don't talk to me."
.
.
.
"Miku was the prettiest and the most popular girl in school," the green-haired girl rambles, leaning against the desk. "She'd released like, four singles and only just signed a contract with that really well-known record label, Crypton."
She slides her textbooks into her bag, zipping it shut. The green-haired girl introduced herself formerly as Gumi, appearing at her side after homeroom finished to spurt some random information.
She must've been looking confused all day, or something.
"But what happened to her?"
Gumi feigns surprise, as if she didn't already know.
"She, like, died."
"Oh."
She looks down at her desk. Miku's desk. The dead girl's desk.
"That's like, the only way we get spaces, I guess."
Gumi watches her.
"Hey. What's your name again?"
You mean, you've been talking to me this whole time and you have no idea what my name is?
She doesn't say that aloud, though.
"It's Rin."
Her name is written on her indoor shoes and all over her stationery for everyone to see, but it seems no one has eyes. Or are just choosing to ignore her name, in favour of 'New Girl'.
"Oh, right. It's nice to meet you, Rin." Gumi offers a smile. "I'm sure everyone will warm up to you soon."
She thinks back to Len and Luka.
"I don't know. I hope so."
very experimental with lots of typos I can’t be bothered to fix bc I wrote it at like 1am last night HAHAHA
may delete. may not. Who knows ;^) we’ll only know if I post up the next part lol
It's such a pity that 70% of his brain is probably air, 20% is raging teenage hormones and the remaining 10% a total mystery.
Len keeps sighing today, and Rin doesn't know why.
Or perhaps she does, but she's just choosing to ignore him. (This is the truth.)
The boy'll walk past every five to ten minutes, exhaling and attempting to make eye contact with her over her graphic novel. But she avoids his gaze, feeling his eyes burn holes through her forehead.
She knows why he's doing this, of course.
They stopped talking about a week ago, when Len broke Rin's favourite mug being an idiot. He was being all dramatic, just because, and slammed down the cup onto the bench, earning a very horrifying crunch. Orange juice went flying, and so did shards of glass. She was amazed no one was injured – but too mad at the time to care.
She hasn't talked to him since, and he's starting to become a little antsy with her lack of attention. So, all day, he's been cleaning her room extensively—scrubbing the floors, wiping the window sills, changing her bedsheets and folding her clothes—in a pathetic attempt to get word out of her.
But much to his disappointment, Rin has been lounging on the couch all day, reading and acting as if nothing is happening.
Len's starting to grow frustrated. She can tell.
His way of subtly dropping hints that he wants her attention is by passing her and acting dramatic.
Unfortunately, Rin's enjoying his pining for her attention (and her clean room) a little too much.
She's probably a little evil.
Just a tad.
But it's fine.
She's hatching a mastermind plan behind that graphic novel of hers, and no one is going to see it coming. Not even Len.
Just when Rin thinks Len is going to enter the room for the seventh time that hour, Miku walks in, a disgruntled expression on her face.
"Jesus, Rin. Can you please pay attention to Len? His heavy breathing is starting to distract my study. Like, seriously – go look at him. He's been working on the same spot in your room for the past three hours. I think he's started hallucinating dirt on your floor."
"It's probably paint," Rin says over her book.
"Rin," Miku begs, giving her a pout. "Please."
The sound of footsteps makes her hesitate, and she looks back down when Len enters the room to sigh again.
"Len, can you be more quiet when you're cleaning? I have an important music exam this week, and I can't fail it," the older girl tries.
He sighs, again. For the billionth time. Rin's surprised he hasn't passed out yet from losing so much air. (Or maybe he has already and is just trying to play it cool.)
"I'm just trying to clean," he says, his voice hitching. She has to suppress a snicker.
Miku folds her arms over her chest. "Fine." She turns back to Rin, jabbing a finger in her direction. "If I fail, I'm blaming you."
Oh, psh, you won't fail. You never fail, she retorts in her mind.
Miku and Len then leave the room, and peace and quiet resumes again.
She smiles to herself.
It's time.
"Rin," Len says, appearing in the living room once more, after doing his whole stompy-sigh ritual another thirty times. "I finished cleaning your room."
He stares at her with big eyes, as if to ask, Have I earned your forgiveness?
"That's nice," Rin responds.
He blinks, a frown tugging his lips. He puts his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight. "So…"
She looks up from her novel, raising an eyebrow.
He mirrors her expression. "Um, so… like… are you… going to, uh…"
Rin watches as he trails off, glancing away. "Am I going to what, Len?"
"Like, I don't know, um, acknowledge it? Or say thank you? Or forgive me, at least?" Len blurts, before snapping his mouth shut, paling. "Um, I mean, uh –"
"Len," Rin says, setting her book down on her stomach. "Come here." She beckons him over with her finger, and with hesitation, the boy obeys.
He swallows, standing over her.
She continues beckoning him, pointing down towards her. "Lean over," she orders when he looks confused.
As slow as possible, he bends forward, furrowing his brows. He seems to tilt his to the side, like he's expecting her to hit him, or something.
Huh.
It takes a lot for her to not burst into laughter.
Rin keeps beckoning him down closer and closer, until he's hovering a ruler's length above her, bent at an uncomfortable angle.
Len closes his eyes, tensing.
Look, she's evil. But she's not that evil.
She waits a moment, staring up at him and admiring his face. It's such a pity that 70% of his brain is probably air, 20% is raging teenage hormones and the remaining 10% a total mystery. What a waste.
Anyway.
Without batting an eyelid, Rin reaches out to grab him by the collar and drag him down to her face. She smushes her mouth against his, and his eyes fly open – and conveniently, also his mouth.
"What –" he says, before that 20% of raging teenage hormones kicks in, and his eyes flutter shut, lips melting against hers.
Yes, this is her plan. And it seems to be running smoothly.
Rin doesn't really have much a reason for kissing Len, besides the fact that she just wants to kiss him. Overhearing Len moan to Kaito the other day about how torn apart and broken he was with her not talking to him may have been a greater influence over this decision – but, of course, she's always had this weird fantasy about kissing his soft, pink lips, so.
Yeah.
When they break apart, Len hovers, his eyes half-lidded as if he just took a hit of weed. Then he comes to, leaning back to stare in confusion at Rin.
"So that means we're talking?" he asks.
"I don't know how you can come to that conclusion just from me kissing you," Rin says, and she watches his smile falter. "But I guess it does."
The smile returns, and his whole face lights up. If he had a tail, it would've been wagging.
"That's also a thank you for cleaning my room," she adds, opening her book up. "Would you like me to do yours tomorrow?"
Len blinks, nods, then stops nodding when he realises something. "Wait – no. Hold on. I—uh—I need to put some stuff away first." Then he disappears to his room, flustered.
Rin sniggers.
She already knows where he keeps his magazine stash.
I'm still stuck on day three of the OTP challenge (and have been for half a month), but then I'm hit with a tidal wave of (pointless) plot bunnies and can write up this in like, an hour?
Whaaaaat isssssss myyyyyyyy braaaaaain.
Anyway, I'm glad I could write something that isn't complete angsty trash, because I have been feeling those vibes lately (squints at all my unfinished docs that have appeared over the past few weeks). I was inspired by that meme song, Compliments, by Kollektivet. If you haven't heard it, please go listen to the full version on youtube immediately gogogogo it's very important. (Also inspired by some cute Rin/Len PD photo booth pics a friend has been posting on twitter! fdsjdfjkdfjjfdf)
By the way! I only have five more assessments left for this semester! And I find out important stuff on May 25 ;_; It's so close to my birthday and I'm scared, so I've decided to not have my birthday at all and have a fake birthday on May 4, because it's Star Wars day and that's all that matters, really. (taps head) Can't have a shitty birthday if you don't have one At All(tm)
Ship: Rin/Len
Genre: Romance/Poetry/Angst
Rating: T
—It's easier to pretend that what his eyes see, heart desires, are lies. Otherwise, those lashes will crawl across his cheeks when he closes his eyes at night – in the form of a nightmare.
It begins with
torn and worn edges,
maths textbook.
Kitchen bench,
they huddle together,
minds churning.
She leans forward.
So does he –
They're breathing same air.
Hands touch
sending sparks past
his eyes,
through his mind,
down his legs
to his toes.
Everywhere between
lights up like
Christmas.
Cast a side glance,
she doesn't seem
to feel it too.
He's not old enough
to understand electricity's
current –
Setting aside,
it fades into
mind's edges,
to be thought again
when all begins
making sense.
•
She shrinks.
He can see
over her headband.
Something quivers
inside him;
a monster.
It dislikes
blue eyes,
long lashes, her.
His heart twists,
painful, as if
the monster
has seized his
organs, pulling
all apart.
He wants her
to look more,
look away.
Stop looking,
but linger longer
please.
He snarls
at the beast
who craves.
His heart,
being torn apart.
Right from
wrong, blurred
as he drowns
in her gaze.
•
There's a stranger
in the bathroom,
he thinks.
He isn't sure
if it's him
or her.
Her eyes
closed, mind
long distant.
His hands shake,
fingers white
as toothpaste.
He forgets
how she sounds,
sometimes.
They are silent.
Mouths pressed.
Ears blocked.
He stops looking,
so it's
easier
to ignore the
monster chewing
at his mind.
•
Curved over,
golden wisps waver
in morning light.
Her lashes dark,
brushing against
speckled cheeks.
He looks through
his fingers,
tired.
If his eyes
linger too
long, then,
he'd break down
as electricity
burnt him out.
He could not look
at her,
won't look.
It's easier
to pretend
that
what his eyes
see, heart
desires, are lies.
Otherwise,
those lashes
will crawl
across his cheeks
when he
closes his eyes
at night –
in the form of
a nightmare.
•
I don't need
love, he
whispers.
Wood boards
cold under
his feet,
seeping from
cracks under
a door.
She has
someone else
to gaze at.
Someone else
to drive
insane.
After being
the monster
for so long,
the boy
realises he
had torn
his heart apart,
now craves
another's.
But the remaining
pieces
still his hand,
steering
him back
to bed.
Safe, safe
in
bed.
•
Growing older,
not wiser,
the difference
he comes to
realise
someday.
Somehow
they'd drifted
apart
and yet
the tides pulled
them back again.
She tucks
a strand
behind an ear
looks nervous,
and says,
"I need you."
His monster
chuckles, dark.
"She loves you."
He stands
frozen like
a pillar.
"I don't know."
Running screams,
the best
idea.
His feet
plant themselves
in ground.
He begins growing
weeds from
his knees.
"I know
you hate me,
and I'm sorry –"
Don't be
sorry, he
says.
His mouth
numbs
and shuts.
Her eyes search
for a sign of
life in his.
•
Has she always
been this
small?
She fits, a
perfect puzzle piece,
into
gaping wounds
from an internal
battle.
He regrets
all those missing
years as
he ran away
from
himself.
For he holds
a stranger
in his arms,
and she loves
him, though
he was always
sure she
felt
different.
Maybe his
eyes were
eaten out, too.
Stolen by
the monster,
who told him
to fear his
love in the
first place.
He was whole
again, and
whole
felt very,
very
wrong.
No one cares about fanfiction-poetry but I SURE AS HELL DO.
I wrote most of this late at night.
The meaning is up for your interpretation. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
30 Day OTP Challenge but not really
Day 2: Cuddling
Ship: Rin/Miku
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Rating: T
—It was on days like these when Rin's hugs could save lives.
•
Miku, on most days, would consider herself an optimist. You know, one of the 'glass half full', 'better late than never' kind of people.
So, yeah. Most of the time—let's say, 80% of the time—she was an optimist. Usually, she'd brush off the bad and continue on with her daily life, as if nothing ever happened.
But today was not one of those days.
It didn't help that her alarm clock didn't go off, making her late for her lecture, or that she had a series of potentially scarring dreams the night before involving her Ex With Bad Breath and current girlfriend, Rin. During the morning rush, she wondered whether she was actually still in an uncomfortable relationship with her ex, and whether Rin had actually broken up with her in real life or not. (At least, until Rin texted her, greeting her with good morning.)
The weather outside was miserable, not to mention. It'd been raining all morning, and by the time she arrived at university, she was very, very wet. (So much that, she had to go to the bathroom to wring out her pigtails.)
She also deeply regret wearing fabric shoes. She thought she'd learnt her lesson from the last time she made that mistake, but no, apparently not so.
Despite making it in time to attend the last 15 minutes of her lecture, the day continued to throw misfortune after misfortune at her.
During her tutorial later that day, she received grades back from a mid-semester exam she spent a very long time studying for, to discover she’d only just passed. Then, at lunch, she knocked her tea and spilt it all over her laptop keyboard, notes, and herself.
"Today couldn't get any worse, could it," Miku muttered to herself, as she proceeded to drop her bag in a puddle while on the way to her next class.
Why.
After a long day of bad luck, she was very ready to go home and cry. She wondered to herself if she had any chocolate to binge out on, but judging by the trend today was following, probably not.
Ding.
Miku blinked, startled out of her daze by a message notification on her phone. She was on the bus home now, eager to peel off her soggy, tea-smelling clothes and wrap herself into a sad burrito. But it would still be another hour or so until she could do that, unfortunately.
(1) New Message from Rin
An uneasy feeling made home in her stomach. She had a feeling she'd forgotten something… important…
Miku! Are you okay? I haven't heard from you all day, the text said. Are you still okay to go bowling tonight with Len and Kaito?
Right.
Yes.
There was that.
She sighed, fighting her urge to burst into tears right there and then. Of course she'd forgotten that. It was the last thing she wanted to do, after such a day.
Miku inhaled, trying to calm herself and think of a way to tell Rin she wasn't up for tonight's plans. She felt bad, but… she really just wanted to be miserable at home.
I'm sorry for not messaging you today, it's been hectic. I didn't realise I forgot to reply to your text this morning.
She paused, frowning to herself.
Also… I feel really bad because this is just inconveniencing everyone… but I haven't been feeling well today, and think it's best I stay home tonight rather than go bowling. I'm really sorry, Rin. I don't mind if you guys go out without me, I completely understand.
A pang of guilt filled her chest as she reread the message and sent it. Before she could take back what she said, she put her phone away, not wanting to read Rin's disappointed replies.
She took a steady breath to hold her composure. Conceal, don't feel, she told herself repeatedly – though the Frozen reference wasn't really helping to make her feel better.
•
Miku trudged into the foyer at her dorm. She was completely and utterly defeated; her umbrella decided to fail her while she was walking home from the train station, resulting in unsparing wetness.
She shed a few tears in the rain on her way home, mourning the condition of potentially everything in her backpack. Despite that, she still planned to cry some more once she arrived at her room.
"Miku?" called a familiar voice.
She looked up, alarmed.
Rin had stood from one of the waiting chairs in the foyer and was approaching her. The blonde reached out to pull her into a dry, warm hug, burrowing her head into her chest.
Once she pulled away, she said, "Miku! Are you okay? You didn't reply to any of my other texts and I was worried something had happened. I came here as soon as I could to check in on you." She paused, blinking in confusion as if she just came to realise something. "Why are you so wet?"
Why…?
Miku felt overwhelmed, not expecting Rin to have travelled all the way to see her. She opened her mouth, wanting to say, "My umbrella broke," but rather than speaking, she began to cry very hideously instead.
Rin's eyes widened and she placed her hands on her cheeks. "No, Miku! It's okay! I'm not mad or anything, I was just worried! But it's okay!"
"I'm sorry…" she blubbered in between sobs.
Her girlfriend hushed her, wiping at her tears gently. "It's okay, really. Look – let's go upstairs and talk about it. You should probably dry up before you catch a cold, as well."
They walked upstairs to her room, Rin with one arm around her waist and another holding her bag. Miku just cried the entire time, no longer caring what the other dorm residents thought of her.
When they got inside, Rin sat Miku down on her bed, turning away to rummage through her drawers for a fresh change of clothes. Knowing her well, she pulled out a comfortable pair of trousers and her favourite fluffy jumper.
Miku dried and changed herself, and after hanging her wet clothes to dry in the bathroom, Rin returned to make some tea. She handed a cup to Miku, who took it with caution and stared down into the dark liquid.
"Talk to me," Rin said, sitting across from her on her desk chair. "Tell me what's upset you."
Her girlfriend looked adamant on hearing her answer – and she knew full and well that the blonde wouldn't give up until she got something out of her. She could be quite stubborn at times.
Miku took a breath, and reluctantly began recalling the series of unfortunate events that took place earlier that day.
After crying her heart out to Rin for half an hour, the blonde offered to stay over that night and help Miku dry all her textbooks.
"Are you sure?" the teal-haired girl asked. "Don't you have assessment due soon?"
Rin shrugged. "It's fine. I'm pretty on top of everything, I think. Plus," she paused to scoot to her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, "I want to spend time with you anyway."
"Drying textbooks with a hairdryer doesn't sound very fun, though," Miku mumbled.
Her girlfriend smiled, tapping the tip of her nose. "Any time spent with you is fun, Miku."
She smiled back, cheeks turning pink. "Don't flatter me."
Rin pulled a face, before cupping her chin in her hands, leaning forward to kiss her on the lips. "I love you."
"I love you too, Rin."
She wrapped her arms around Miku's waist and leant into her chest with a sigh. Miku rested her chin on the top of her head, placing her hands on her back and feeling the warmth of her body radiate through. It was on days like these when Rin's hugs could save lives.
Though ashamed to admit it, she was glad that Rin had come to see her. She knew that sitting in her room, being miserable, while her girlfriend was out having fun with their friends would only make her feel worse.
She was so lucky to have her.
hi my name is cha and I’ve been procrastinating uploading this to tumblr I’m very sorry.
But now it is here, so life is good. I’m also on break for a week, so life is very good! ...except I still have 3484647438243 more midsem exams after break; alas, the suffering never ends.
I’m still forever stuck on Day 3′s prompt. How do you write to that prompt without it being Boring... Basic... and Cliche?
Anyway, A/N from ffnet time:
So often same-sex relationships are portrayed explicitly/unrealistically or just as some terrifying OH my God Forbidden Love! trope and I just wanted something cute and warm (and I tried, I really did try,) but I'm not sure whether it was as cute and warm as I was intending.
One day I will get my writing mojo back, wherever it has gone...
(The rest was a rant so I’ll leave it out for now until it becomes Relevant lol)
30 Day OTP Challenge but not really
Day 1: Holding Hands
Ship: Rin/Len/Miku - yes, all of them, in a ship, at once,
Genre: Friendship, hurt/comfort, angst, tragedy, romance??
Rating: T-M because swears and sexual innuendos?? tl;dr they talk about sex
—Saying goodbye for the last time was the hardest thing in existence.
•
She was brushing her teeth in the kitchen and watching the daily horoscopes segment on TV when the program was interrupted for some stupid Breaking News report.
Rin rolled her eyes, leaning forward to spit toothpaste into the sink. It’s probably nothing, she mused, a little frustrated it had to cut in just before her horoscope was going to be announced.
However, as she lifted her eyes back to the television screen and listened in to the voice over, she soon realised she wouldn’t need to know it.
“NASA announced today, after an emergency conference with world leaders, that an asteroid is on course with Earth…”
A scientist was featured on screen, reporting the evidence.
“The asteroid GM2028 is a fragment of one of Jupiter’s moons, Ganymede, after a rogue asteroid from the Kuiper Belt collided with and destroyed it last September.”
Rin stood frozen, eyes fixated on the screen – not even flinching when her phone sounded from somewhere in the house.
“Most of the debris were pulled into Jupiter due to gravity; however, the impact was strong enough to send the remaining debris into the middle of our solar system. Our calculations estimated that the debris would be destroyed, or set off-course, when passing through the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, but it appears that the asteroid belt has aided in sending GM2028 straight towards us.”
She licked her lips, glancing away for a moment to gather her thoughts. So what, she thought, NASA can redirect it, right? They’ve researched this before, anyway.
As if the universe read her mind, the scientist was replaced with a grim-faced news presenter, who relayed, “Though NASA has done thorough research into sending GM2028 off-course, they reported in the conference today that GM2028 would be too large to redirect with our current level of technology.”
“It requires too much energy that we don’t have,” the scientist continued, cutting back on screen. “We can’t destroy it without exacerbating the problem, causing the asteroid shards to hit Earth anyway.”
Rin’s phone chimed again, and this time she peeled her eyes from the television to search for it. She found it lost in the covers of her futon with (6) Missed Calls flashing at her.
She was walking back down the hall when she overheard the news report once more –
“NASA scientists estimate around three months until impact with GM2028. We have yet to hear of any escape plans, if doable… But once GM2028 hits, the devastation will double that of the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction. Scientists claim around 95% of the species will probably go extinct, and Earth will become near-uninhabitable, if not completely uninhabitable.”
Her ringtone sounded again, and this time, she answered the call.
No words came out, though, as if she had a rock in her throat, so it was Miku who spoke first.
“Rin, Rin, you’ve already seen the news, right? We’re going to die.”
“What?”
She heard her friend perfectly fine; however, it just seemed horrifyingly out of place to hear those words come from her mouth, and for them to be true.
“I mean –” she said, pausing. “Yes. I saw the news.”
“It’s not a joke, is it?” Miku asked, seeming anxious. “They wouldn’t joke about this kind of stuff, right? But I want it to be a joke. Please tell me it’s a joke.”
“I don’t think it is, Miku. I really don’t think it is.”
Her friend fell silent, heavy breathing over the phone. “I just…” She trailed off.
“I know,” Rin said softly, as if she knew what she was going to say. “It feels as if I’m in a dream. Like, if I pinch myself, I’ll wake up and everything will be okay.”
“I walked into a wall trying to wake myself up. It’s not a dream,” Miku answered, her voice trembling.
It was at the mention of wall that Rin remembered to look up at the clock on the kitchen wall – and nearly dropped her phone in the process. 7:45. Homeroom was going to start at 8:00.
“Oh shit! I’m late! Look, I’ll talk to you about this at school –”
Just as she was hanging up, she heard her friend blurt out, “Wait, Rin, I might not go today –”
Frowning to herself, Rin slid her phone into her cardigan pocket and rubbed her face. It was too early in the morning to process a potential apocalypse. Too, too early.
•
Len met her along the way to school.
“Look, I know there’s some big rock in space and all, but you’re late, and you made me late, because I have to wait for you.”
“You know you don’t have to wait for me,” Rin said. “I can find my way to school just fine.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Sometimes, I doubt that.”
It was true that she was notorious for having an abysmal sense of direction, often catching the wrong train and turning up at school at least three hours late, but the last time she did that was last year. She was sure she knew better.
“Miku called, that’s why I was late,” she explained, as they sandwiched onto their train. It was one of the busiest during rush hour, much unfortunately.
“Oh, what about?” Len asked.
Rin looked at the boy, over the shoulder of a middle-aged businessman. “What else about?”
He shrugged. “Boys?”
“Oh my god. Today. The apocalypse, or whatever.”
He blinked. “Oh.”
“She was, you know, panicking. I don’t think she’ll come to school today, either.”
“To be honest with you,” Len began, “I wouldn’t come to school, too, but if I stay at home dwelling about how I’ll die in three months time, I feel I’d lose my sanity rather quickly.”
Rin pursed her lips in thought. He had a point. “So, what do we do? I doubt they’ll keep letting us go to school. Give it a week and the whole city will be on fire, probably.”
He gazed out the train window, humming. “I don’t know. I guess most of us will try to make the best of our time left.”
A moment of silence passed, as the train stopped, emptied, and filled up again.
She mumbled, “I’m a little scared. Maybe a whole lot scared.”
Len glanced down at her, before his fingers found hers amongst the tight mess of bodies. He squeezed her hand gently, and even with that simple gesture, she knew he felt that same way too.
•
Miku showed up halfway through the day, looking dishevelled yet still pretty, something only her could miraculously pull off.
“Oh, it’s you,” Len sighed, as the girl plonked down onto the chair between him and Rin.
“It’s the end of the world, and you’re still sassing me,” Miku groused, folding her arms over her chest. “Jeez, I was just thinking about how important it was to spend the remaining time with my two lovely best friends, and yet, here you are, being an asshole –”
“He secretly loves you, don’t worry,” Rin reassured, giving her friend’s arm a pat. The girl pouted in response. “I’m glad you changed your mind in the end, though.”
She flicked one teal pigtail over her shoulder. “I wanted to see your beautiful faces again.”
Len pretended to gag, and held up his hand. “Look, Miku, I know you’re a virgin—and yes, everyone is very much in the same situation as you right now—but please, your compliments are repulsive –”
Miku swatted at his hand. “Eat a bag of dicks. As if I’d ever consider sleeping with you, you soggy sausage! You aren’t cute enough. Rin is the only one who fits that criteria.”
He gasped, before wrapping an arm around Rin’s shoulders and pulling her into his chest. “When did I imply that I’d ever want to sleep with you? I can’t believe you’d think I’d choose you over Rin.”
The blonde girl sat rigid in his embrace, a red hue spreading across her cheeks. “Well, I’m quite happy to die a virgin, much to your disappointment…”
Miku snorted. “Rin, we love you and all, but I feel like if any one of us were to be involved in a romantic relationship with you, it would be a mess. The remaining person would somehow end up in that relationship too…”
“It’s an inevitable threesome,” Len clarified.
“Oh-kay,” Rin said slowly, ducking out from under his arm. “Look, maybe you could just leave me out of the, uh, threesome, and make it a friendly twosome between the both of you?”
Miku ignored her suggestion. “I actually don’t know how threesome sex would work. Like, do you just stack the girls on top of each other, and change girl per thrust? Or is it like a 69 formation, and the third is the penetrator? Len, what have you learnt from six years of watching porn videos?”
“Wait, how do you know I’ve been watching porn for six years?” the boy asked, frowning.
“Well, a little birdie told me…”
Rin stood, cutting their conversation short. “I’m going to go get a drink. For a very long time. See you guys in fourth period.” She then turned and left the classroom in a hurry.
Her friends watched her leave with furrowed eyebrows.
Once Len was sure she was out of earshot, he turned back to Miku. “She’s too pure for us,” he said.
As expected of a pre-apocalyptic world, final exams were cancelled and summer break began early, because it seemed that education no longer mattered when everyone was going to die in a couple of months, anyway.
Rin couldn’t complain. It was every high school student’s wish to have holidays extended and exams cancelled. So, yeah.
She spent a lot of her remaining days witnessing society crumble under the crushing weight of impending doom.
It was only now she realised what it felt like to have a terminal illness. Everything she did, she felt like she had to enjoy it meticulously, to savour the moment, because for all she knew, it could—or would—be her last.
One Friday afternoon, Len appeared on her doorstep, looking a little pale.
Her first thought was, Ah, he’s finally caved, too.
But before she could even get to ‘hello’, her friend mumbled something about his parents.
“What?” she said.
“My parents,” he repeated, eyes down. “I don’t know… but… they kind of haven’t come home in a week or so.”
It took a moment or two for her to register the situation.
Missing people – it was old news by now. So many had disappeared without a trace since the announcement, only to appear days to weeks later floating in rivers and hanging from trees.
As soon as Rin pieced the evidence together, she stepped forward to pull him into a tight embrace.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly into his chest.
Len choked back a sob. “I-I don’t know. Why am I crying? We’re all going to die, anyway. Why does it matter? I don’t know why I’m crying about this.”
She was lucky; her parents were trying their best to spend every day with her.
They were trying their best to make things seem normal, even though having them there all the time now was something far from normal for them. Before the announcement, they’d worked full time, and like most others, only just left their jobs to spend more time with family.
In a way, she could comprehend Len’s parents’ decision, but also couldn’t.
Staying alive until the very end, unknowing of the degree of pain and suffering that was to come – it was a thought that tore the human mind apart. When such a reality was mulled over too much, one would be bound to seek out a better way to go.
Suicide was often the alternative.
“I’m sorry,” she reiterated, having no other words to say.
Perhaps, it was the best thing to say at the time.
Her mother soon found them standing in the doorway and ushered them in for lunch, and without much else discussed, Len found himself home with Rin’s family for their remaining time.
•
“You know, I’m jealous,” Miku said, hitting her heels against the smooth, concrete surface of the wall, her rubber-sole shoes acting as rebound.
They were sitting on a wall just outside Miku’s apartment, watching the overgrown grass next door shudder in the warm summer breeze.
Rin glanced up, searching the girl’s portrait. “Jealous? About what? Len?”
Len had gone back to his house to gather the remainder of his most needed belongings, and probably to mope. Her father had gone with him though, so she didn’t have to worry about him following suit with his parents.
“Regrettably,” her friend admitted, turning her head to face her. “I know his parents went and—you know—killed themselves, but now he gets to see you every day… and you live together, too. I mean, have you seen each other naked, yet –”
“Oh God, Miku, no,” Rin interrupted, exasperated. “He… I don’t even think Len’s had that on his mind, lately.”
“And you have?”
“If being terrified of the thought of accidentally walking in on him naked—or otherwise—counts, then yes – but the idea of performing some ritual involving pity sex with my best friend makes me feel genuinely unwell.”
Miku screwed up her face. “It’s just, you’ve spent so much time with him since he has no one else, and I’m trying to balance time between you guys and my parents, and it’s… it’s not fair.”
Rin sighed.
“Well, is anything fair? Is our death even fair? I’ve heard rumours that world leaders, celebrities, and those who can afford it, have made deals with NASA to escape to the Mars colony.
“But what about us? Are the fortunate just going to sit on their sloppy asses and enjoy the show as they watch Earth, and everyone on it, get blown to bits?”
Her friend fell silent, eyes dropping to the ground.
“I’m sorry,” she then said, a pang of guilt in her chest. “I’m just frustrated. I want to spend more time with everyone. I want to enjoy my life, not have this real-life nightmare looming constantly in the back of my mind. I want to have a happy ending.
“But I can’t have it when I have less than a month until I get burned or suffocated or drowned alive. I want to spend more time with you, too, Miku. I don’t want you to feel like you’re less important, just because recent events have caused me to be with Len more than you. I love you just as much as him. I’m just so frustrated.”
She clenched her fists so tight her knuckles started turning white, then red.
Miku closed her eyes and placed a hand over one of her fists. “It’s okay. We’re both frustrated. It can’t be helped. I’m sorry for doubting your friendship. I just… I’m sorry.”
She opened her hand, lacing Miku’s fingers with hers. She didn’t want to look at her face, because she knew she was crying.
They were both crying.
•
The closer it drew towards ‘The End’, the more surreal the days felt.
On one of those final days before the impact, Miku came over to spend the day with Rin and Len.
“It’s supposed to hit tomorrow night, or in the early morning,” the teal-haired girl was saying as she slipped off her shoes at the house entrance.
“Yeah,” Len agreed. “It’s supposed to hit the Pacific, right? So we’ll have about thirty minutes to dwell on it before the sky starts falling and we’re inundated with water and lava.”
“I hope I sleep through it,” Rin muttered.
“You probably won’t,” her friends chided.
Miku slapped Len playfully, telling him off for ‘copying her’. He frowned, tugged at a pigtail—which earned a disgruntled ‘ouch!’—and ran off down the hall before she could retort.
“Don’t you worry, Rin,” Miku said as they followed after him. “You’ll have this loser to cuddle when you get scared.”
“Ha-ha,” Rin replied, rolling her eyes. “In his wildest dreams.”
They made themselves comfortable in the living room. The week prior, they spent a day scavenging the empty aisles of grocery stores for popcorn and other snacks – and came back successful, with one unspoiled packet of the former food, at least.
Unfortunately, a movie day was a no go, since electricity was cut off the day before. Same went with water, but they’d already stocked up on the necessary bottles to keep them comfortable until – well, the end.
Len saved the day with a pack of cards, so they wrote out a list of games to play (which came to a grand total of three), and began their official final day together.
Time, although merely a human construct, seemed to sense their intentions and the due asteroid impact; eating up hours of their day like a ravenous beast, as if eager to see the demise of the human race. The sun rose high in the sky, then began its slow descent beyond the horizon, casting their soon-to-be deceased world into darkness.
After Miku glanced at the clock for the fifth time that day, she set down her cards and mentioned in a small voice, “My dad said he was going to pick me up at nine o’clock.”
Rin and Len looked up as well, confirming it was 8:30.
Half an hour left.
A rather dull, heavy ache that Rin had been trying to ignore for most of the day made itself known in her heart at that moment. Thirty minutes left. Thirty minutes left with Miku.
“Oh,” was all she could say in the silence that followed.
She couldn’t look at any of her friends, just at the cards in her hands; ace of hearts, eight of clubs, seven of diamonds.
They had no deeper meaning, no secret message to share for her to save the world or get back time, but she kept staring at them intently, as if willing them to speak to her, to tell her that she needn’t worry about anything.
“Rin?”
It was Miku’s voice – quiet, on the verge of breaking. She’d heard that tone so many times before. That day on the wall, the day they found out about the end, even at times before they were aware of their inevitably horrible end. It was the tone that made her crash back down into reality, shattering her heart under brute force.
Rin opened her mouth to speak, only to sob loudly, her emotions getting the better of her. Then Miku and Len were there beside her, sobbing as well, for saying goodbye forever was too hard to say in words.
Where to start? What to say?
She’d thought about it so much in those last three months, but could only come to the conclusion that there wasn’t a way to say goodbye forever. It just wasn’t doable. There was too much to say, that the goodbye would simply never end.
Three months ago, maybe Maths was the hardest thing in existence, but now, she knew better.
Saying goodbye for the last time was the hardest thing in existence.
•
And all too soon, those thirty minutes were up.
And Miku had her back turned, walking towards the door.
Any last words? Any last thoughts? her mind demanded.
“Mi –” Rin choked out.
Her friend stopped, looking back at her with swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “Yes, Rin?”
A beat passed, as car headlights flashed through the cracks of the curtains hanging over the window.
“I love you,” she whispered.
Miku reached out to squeeze her hand, to squeeze Len’s. He was being awfully quiet at that time.
“I love you too,” she responded, the smile on her lips twisting into a grimace as she fought the urge to burst into tears again. “You too, Len.”
The boy nodded, swallowed, and although he refused to speak—knowing he would cry as well—he meant to tell her that he loved her, too.
Then she was gone, and they were left standing at the door in darkness, listening as Miku’s car pulled out of the driveway for the last time in human history, the hum of the engine fading into the distance.
Len squeezed Rin’s hand, and mumbled, “I hope we see her again, wherever we go.”
“Me too.” She squeezed back as hard as she could. “Me too.”
A/N: Sorry, I haven’t written anything ‘proper’ in the last few months, so I feel like my writing has deteriorated aggressively. I’m trying to be conscientious of my grammar too since I’m taking a course on it this semester, but I feel like I still have too many dumb grammar mistakes in there. Woe, woe is me.
This was less romance and more friendship-y, because tbh, I hold hands with my friends too so idk how to make it romantic.
Anyway, I didn’t want to make the theme Super Obvious in this one, but rather like a sneaky theme/trope thingy. I doubt I’ll keep doing this in the other themes, because this took way too long to write and I was intending on writing really short stories/drabbles >:((( Regretti.
The idea for this was loosely based of the movie, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. I watched it a few years ago, hence the ‘loosely’. It’s quite enjoyable, please watch. It made me laugh, and it made me cry. P.S. It’s on Netflix.
And yeah, I totally did try to cram a super long story into like 3k words, so I apologise if that just hurt to read. I didn’t want to go straight from learning about dying to just before dying, if you get me??? (Probably not, but oh well.) But I didn’t want to commit to like, 10k words or multiple chapters... dis bitch ain’t got no time fo’ dat.
If you see this pop up on fanfiction.net sometime, that is probably me, but first I want to write all my grammar course notes into my profile to confuse everyone there, because I’m a special kind of evil. (And grammar rules are good to know!)
Thanks for reading. I can’t promise the 30-day thing will be done in 30 days because I’m a busy person (why tho), but I’ll try to do it eventually... some day... far into the future...
