behind blue eyes

Nash Soren Caldwell chances are that i really fucking dislike you.

[macaulaywrites-blog]

You look fucking gorgeous, princess.

[we-are-the-reckless-youthhhh]

Just know that I love you. I love you with all of my fucked up, piece of shit heart.

2:15 am (via we-are-the-reckless-youthhhh)

[macaulaywrites-blog]

[yoursixwordstory]

Mommy, I am a fucking failure.

(via meduseas)

[wiilsoncorreia]

[the-psycho-cutie-deactivated201]

You’ve become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you deserve, you have no fucking idea how to respond.

(via fuckinq)

[melesbian-deactivated20140219]

If you’re feeling down, I’ll go down on you

[itsaresourcething-blog]

[themonstersihavebeen]

nash's moodboard.

[heaven-orlasvegas]

I want to make you feel so fucking happy that you forget every bit of sad in you

Nahilliam Truspear   (via jasfuckinq)

[drfear-blog]

"Layers" Character Meme

[themonstersihavebeen]

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: Nash Soren Caldwell.

Eye Color: Deep blue.

Hair Style/Color: Blonde, short, slightly tousled.

Height: 6'2

Clothing Style: Usually something simple like jeans and a t-shirt. Even if he has money, not much of it is used on clothing.

Best Physical Feature:  He likes to believe every physical feature is his best, though he particularly likes to brag about his muscles.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: He is scared of his dad - his rage and beatings, which is something that has been with him ever since he was a child. Falling in love is also scaring him.

Guilty Pleasure: Tormenting people he thinks look too happy.

Biggest Pet Peeve: Annoying people who dare to breathe in his presence, and people who anger him on purpose.

Ambition for the Future: Trying to get rid of his anger problem and prevent it from ruining his life, even if he denies having one.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

 First Thoughts Waking Up: Lately it has been Isla.

What They Think About the Most: Everything that makes him angry.

What They Think About Before Bed: Isla.

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: Nash doesn't think highly of himself as a person, (actually he thinks he's rather unworthy and undeserving)  so he would answer the question with something of his aesthetics or his physical strength. 

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Single

To be Loved or Respected: All he has ever wanted is his father's respect, which he's also all he has ever tried to gain - or at least he thinks. Some part deep buried has yet to realize that he really just wants to be loved.

Beauty or Brains: The younger Nash would have easily picked beauty  -a sexy, hot body,- over brains, but lately he has been starting to realize the beauty of brains as well. He truly believes he has found both in Isla, and a combination of the two keeps him satisfied.

Dogs or Cats: He's a dog person, but Isla's cat has grown on him and he really doesn't mind them either.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: He lies a lot, mostly about himself and whatever he feels.

Believe in Yourself: He likes to pretend he does, but it's far from the truth.

Believe in Love: No, he doesn't really believe, it's more like he hopes deep down that he can someday.

Want Someone: He does, and he wants her more than he'd like to admit.

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: No.

Done Drugs: Yes.

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: He is himself mostly - violent, cocky, charming and angry most of all. But he does downplay his calmer, sad side (a lot) and likes to pretend it doesn't exist.

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

Favorite Color: Red.

Favorite Animal: Dogs.

Favorite Movie: He's too indecisive to pick a favorite, but all of his top five are action movies.

Favorite Game: Same with games - he's too indecisive, plus he actually doesn't spend that much time playing games, but likes most shooting games. In real life, he likes drinking ones.

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

Day Your Next Birthday Will Be: 10th of March, which will be a Tuesday.

How Old Will You Be: 20

Age You Lost Your Virginity: He lost it when he was 13.

Does Age Matter: Nash doesn't really think so, even if that tends to get him in trouble.

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: Kind, knows how to handle him, listens to what he has to say, and helps him deal with his anger.

Best Eye Color: He really isn't that picky.

Best Hair Color: Dark-haired.

Best thing to do With a Partner: It's no secret that he likes sex, but he recently realized that he doesn't mind just lying with her and talking.

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: partying.

I feel: angry.

I hide: feelings.

I miss: my mom.

I wish: I wasn't a failure.

[nightsewing-deactivated20150103]

have you ever met someone who’s smile looks like it could make flowers grow

[valkyras-blog]

björn ironside + looking ridiculously handsome

[themonstersihavebeen]

Better Times

[nolightnolight-isla]

If she had been anyone else, she’d have probably given into him letting him take care of things for her. But Isla had relied on other people in her past, she hadn’t been capable of taking care of herself but now that she was, she wasn’t about to give into letting him do things for her not when doing things as silly as paying for a bus ticket meant so much to her. And she also wanted to prove to him she wasn’t just some screwed up little girl who needed him all the time, she had to be her own person so that she could be someone worth keeping around. She smiled to herself pleased, “Thank you.”

There was a side to Isla that was enjoying the thought of Nash having to give in to her and do things the way she wanted and there was a side that wanted to laugh at his words. “I’m going to reassure you in the fact that the plague was cured a long time ago so the worst that could happen is that you catch a cold, but that probably won’t happen ‘cause you’re you and all,” she stated though she couldn’t help but smirk as she did. “It’s all of ten minuets, not an hour so calm down,” she sighed looking at him through the corner of her eye. Sometimes she could only see Nash as a big impatient kid. “I’m part of the public,” she stated, knowing that he probably did see her that way. But she was no where near him on the society ladder and that made her the general public. She smiled softly at his closeness she had begun to get used to it, though she caught his pinky finger with her own. “I hope you don’t take up a whole two seats.”

[themonstersihavebeen]

Nash just grunted in response to her 'thank you', which was normal for him because he had never been very good at accepting gratitude. There weren't that many people who were grateful to him. "There are always others," Nash said, cocking his head slightly. "Plagues, I mean." As always, he wasn't hundred percent caught up with history and had generally given no fucks about everything that had with when he wasn't born to do, but he did know that a new plague could spread some time in the future. Not that likely maybe, but it could happen. Besides he liked being stubborn. "Are you talking about my better than great immune system?" he said, flashing her a quick, cocky grin before trying to resume his annoyed face. 

Nash just groaned and rolled his eyes. He was many things, but patient was not one of them. He looked at her for a couple of seconds, surprised and slightly startled by what she was probably thinking. "Well, I don't hate you," he told her, though it was more of a mumble. "You're annoyingly impossible to hate," he continued, not mumbling anymore but not talking loud either, the corner of his lip curling slightly. Nash was slightly caught off guard as he felt her little finger around his. It was something that was hard for him to get used to when it came from Isla, even though it had happened more and more lately. He enjoyed it, he really did, he enjoyed her, but she had always been so reserved and scared. And he still caught himself fighting the initial habit to avoid touching her, knowing now that it was okay, even if it hadn't been before. Though it was something he would definitely enjoy getting used to. He curled his finger around hers lightly, glancing down at her, the look of faint amazement still on his face. He grinned, pushing her gently with his one hand, playfully, though not letting go of her finger. "What? You calling me fat?"

Eventually the bus did arrive, and Nash couldn't be happier about the sight because the little patience he had managed to muster was disappearing worryingly fast. He gestured for her to get on first, smirking at her charmingly. "Ladies first." Though he stopped confused behind her when he realized he didn't know where their luggage went because he had only ridden with a bus once or twice in his life. "Ey, princess," he called for her. "What the fuck am I gonna do with these?" he asked, very easily holding both their bags in one hand up for her to see. "No way in hell I'll have them on my lap, I don't care if you want to take this thing, I'll drag you to my car kicking and screaming."

[themonstersihavebeen]

Better Times

[nolightnolight-isla]

Isla knew Nash was used to throwing his money about, he liked the lifestyle it gave him and the power it gave him. But for her money wasn’t everything, she saw the side of Nash no on else did and she didn’t care for his money, she cared for him. And she wanted to prove to him that she had the strength to take care of herself, then she could be more than what people labelled her or how her medication controlled her. “Because I can rely on myself and I need to do that,” she explained hoping he would understand.

It wasn’t often that she felt as brave as this to stand up to him and try and make him do things her way, but she felt as though if she let him think she’d live with him always doing things for her there would be no chance of her doing things and being strong by herself even if had already helped to build that strength. Feeling him at her side she couldn’t help but smile, she’d won a small battle but for her it felt like a big one. “It’s just a bus Nash, I promise you won’t catch anything,” she replied sarcastically, she couldn’t help but be amused at the fact he would come on it with her. Part of her wanted to hold his hand as they walked but she kept her hand at her side. “The bus won’t be for another ten minuets,” she told him happily, he’d probably be annoyed by it but she couldn’t of been happier. 

[themonstersihavebeen]

Nash wasn't completely dumbfounded by her answer, and when he thought about it he knew that he probably should have realized. He had seen in Isla how important she thought it was that she could take care of herself, so who was he to stand in the way of that? But it also worried him slightly, because if she wasn't there for his money and his ability to provide her with more than likely endless material comfort, he wasn't sure how long she would bother with him. Then again, he knew Isla was better than that, but also that he really wasn't. "Fine," he replied, still sounding annoyed, but also letting her know that he understood.

"Don't be so sure about that," he grumbled back. What if he actually did catch something? Who knew what waited for him in those well-used, bacteria-filled bus seats. Nash groaned at her quite loudly, looking at her with an annoyed frown. "You're kidding, right?" But then again, he didn't see a bus around so he assumed she wasn't. "I hate waiting," he told her. "I hate waiting almost as much as I hate public transport." He continued, slightly scared by the fact that he was so whipped he let her drag him onto public transport, and trying to hide it behind complaints. "And I hate public transport almost as much as I hate the public," he finished, though the annoyance had almost left his voice by now. He found it had to stay annoyed or angry with Isla for long, and he just sighed softly, stepping closer to her, his free hand brushing against hers.

[themonstersihavebeen]

Better Times

[nolightnolight-isla]

Isla couldn’t help but look away at his words. Part of her wanted to laugh but the other part of her knew that would only annoy him. “People who don’t have cars or such luxuries as you do,” she stated nervously, she meant people who didn’t have their father’s paying for everything. “I want to take the bus Nash, I can pay for myself that way, I don’t want to rely on you to do it,” she continued moving towards him a bit more, but there was an uncertainty in her step, she didn’t mean to upset him.

"I just want to take the bus Nash," she stated mustering up a bit more courage. "I like bus journeys and I’d like to take  them with you too, it’s a everyday thing to do, so I just want to take the bus and then there’d be no fuss," she argued with him. Though once she got closer she ended up moving past him, as if his car didn’t exist. "I’m taking the bus, so you can either join me, or meet me there after driving yourself," she turned back to look at him as she threw him the ultimatum but she couldn’t help but smile cockily, in a way that he probably would of to her. "So it’s really your choice."

[themonstersihavebeen]

Nash sighed yet again in frustration, looking at her partly confused and partly annoyed. He cocked his head slightly, his gaze lingering on her, not finding an argument so he could continue to argue with her. He just couldn't understand why she didn't want his money, after all, all the girls he'd kept as his booty calls had liked it when he bought them stuff. "Why is relying on me so bad?" he asked her eventually, now more confused than annoyed.

He watched her walk past him, and blew out a breath of annoyed air. Though he was also impressed, he realized as he watched the sway of her hips where she walked, and very amused. He liked her like this, despite how much her extreme stubbornness could annoy him, but it was hard for him not to give in. He wasn't even conflicted about what to do, because the second she gave him that cocky smile, he knew what he wanted. "God, you're so fucking stubborn," he said, annoyed, under his breath, but hurried to catch up with her. "For fuck's sake, princess," he said when he was at her side, rolling his eyes but there was a tiny grin on his face. He wasn't even mad about leaving his car behind, after all, he knew there were cars were they were going, and still, stepping on that bus with Isla didn't really seem all that bad. Sure, he would probably moan and complain, but she did get him on that fucking bus by simply being Isla.

[themonstersihavebeen]

Better Times

[nolightnolight-isla]

Isla couldn’t help but grit her teeth together as he picked up her bag. She didn’t follow him, instead she stood and crossed her arms. “It’s better than taking your car. Unlike you, I like taking buses and doing normal things, the way normal people would,” she argued with him, though the truth was she didn’t want the whole thing to turn into Nash doing everything for her. She didn’t need him to drive when she could pay for her bus ticket with her own money. “Because I can afford to take the gross bus full of gross people, and I don’t need to be chaperoned and chauffeured around by you all the time,” she replied looking down, she knew he was just trying to be nice but Isla didn’t want to be someone who had everything done for her, she could do things herself and she could pay her own way. She didn’t want Nash to just pay her way into things for her. 

[themonstersihavebeen]

Nash frowned, an annoyed sound leaving his mouth as he threw his arm out in frustration. "What the hell does that even mean? 'Normal people'?" he yelled at her from where he was standing so she would hear him, rubbing his neck, and groaning in frustration once more. "If normal equals poor, then save it, I don't wanna hear it." Nash didn't really have the patience to deal with that.

He looked at her, hoping to see her move towards him and give in, but she didn't seem to be moving a muscle. "Oh, come on! That's ridiculous," he told her, starting to walk back to her again. Briefly, he considered just picking her up and physically putting her in his car, but knew that would not make Isla happy in the slightest. "You might not need me to drive you, but I want to. Even more important, I want to drive me, so come on," he pleaded when he stopped in front of her. 

[themonstersihavebeen]

Better Times

Nash rolled his eyes at her impatiently, picking up her bag and walking firmly towards his car, just expecting her to follow behind him. "That's probably the worst idea you've ever had, Isla," he said over his shoulder, scoffing at her. He was not going to set foot in a public bus, forcing him to breathe the same air as people he didn't deem worthy of his presence. Not an option. Though because it was Isla who he was talking to, he stopped and turned around to look at her pointedly, sighing in slight frustration. "Why would you want to take the bus, the gross, public bus when you get to ride for free in my car?" He threw his up his free hand for emphasis, gesturing towards his newly polished car.