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Welcome to the humble blog of a Narrator, where he gathers his thoughts and reaches out to guests from all over the world. (Icon courtesy of employee-210)

[thenarratorsblog]

Oh thank God. For a moment I thought I wouldn't qualify for the Sinner Club. 8)

Well, you’re a top-notch sinner, so of course you qualify.

[thenarratorsblog]

Am I part of the Sinner Squad™. Do they matching letterman jackets.

Well, yes. Everyone is, except me. I am above sin.

And honestly, I don’t know anything about matching jackets, but you can pick a jacket you like and wish it to be an official Sinner Squad™ Jacket. It’s the same thing.

[thenarratorsblog]

yo tony where u get that fresh pepperoni

…alright, which one of you sinners sent this weird, um, meme to me? Is this part of a bet? I hope I made you lose it.

[thenarratorsblog]

You've been mentioning the memory lapses more and more lately. I'm legit a little worried about you -- don't overwork yourself, okay? :c

Ah, please, pay it no mind. I like complaining. I don’t think the situation is nearly as bad as I make it to be.

However, thanks for your concern. I’m sorry I worried you; I’m fine.

[thenarratorsblog]

Ah, I believe it’s time for me to go.

As always, I invite you to send anything you wish to send. I enjoy replying to all your inquiries.

Best wishes everyone.

[valantwynn]

Welp. I killed Stanley.

[nicxan]

Context: Austin here got the Museum ending, and when he let Stanley get crushed (Great job btw), the screen went black. The game didn’t reset. It just stayed on the black screen. He literally had to force-reset the entire game and start over from scratch.

[jaybingu-deactivated20190828]

@thenarratorsblog got an explanation for this bullshit?

[thenarratorsblog]

I apologise it took me so long to answer you. I was unavailable as of late.

I’ve been rummaging through my notes, looking for an answer, and apparently I didn’t write that ending. I mean, I wrote the part where you die, of course - not the one where you explore a museum about the game itself, however. That was the product of a prank, if I recall correctly.

Now, I didn’t specify anything about a compulsory hard reset coming from the player, so I’m guessing that was some byproduct of that single external intervention. Narrators should only narrate together in controlled environments, and with consent from both parts. Otherwise things might get messy.

[archivedending]

The ending is a message to the player. I did try to explain the situation to them, but the player would  not listen to me. They are determined to see every ending to the end, but they have yet to realize that there is no end. There is never an end. Even when they begin the game again it is not an end, or even a beginning.

The player got what they wanted. Even when the Narrator told them what waited for them at the end of the hall, they continued forward, not listening to a word he said.

Not that I would, either, but a point is to be made here.

[thenarratorsblog]

Oh, I'm sure the player knows very well what kind of situation they find themselves into. They know it's a game - it surely is from their perspective. They wouldn't be a player otherwise, but something else.

And of course there's no end. It is blatant in my game, but honestly, is there actually an ending out there? Yes, everything must face its inevitable demise, but that doesn't certainly stop the decay of all the rest of the universe. Existence is always there, in a form or another. No end, no beginning.

No need to state the obvious.

[valantwynn]

Welp. I killed Stanley.

[nicxan]

Context: Austin here got the Museum ending, and when he let Stanley get crushed (Great job btw), the screen went black. The game didn’t reset. It just stayed on the black screen. He literally had to force-reset the entire game and start over from scratch.

[jaybingu-deactivated20190828]

@thenarratorsblog got an explanation for this bullshit?

[thenarratorsblog]

I apologise it took me so long to answer you. I was unavailable as of late.

I’ve been rummaging through my notes, looking for an answer, and apparently I didn’t write that ending. I mean, I wrote the part where you die, of course - not the one where you explore a museum about the game itself, however. That was the product of a prank, if I recall correctly.

Now, I didn’t specify anything about a compulsory hard reset coming from the player, so I’m guessing that was some byproduct of that single external intervention. Narrators should only narrate together in controlled environments, and with consent from both parts. Otherwise things might get messy.

[nicxan]

We love you, Raphael. I do not, however, love my phone.

The Narrator designs (left to right): @zayphora, @thenarratorsblog, mine, @asawangley

[thenarratorsblog]

I am temporarily back to wish you all a pleasant New Year! Here’s hoping the future has something good in store for all of us. Do you have any New Year’s resolutions? I wonder if they can do any good. Can you actually remember them? Hm.

I guess my own resolution will be “doing something about my memory”. It’s getting worse... I must be overworking.

[thenarratorsblog]

Well, I think it’s time to go back to work-- oh no, wait. Not so soon... I think I deserve some time for myself. You’re delightful, and I enjoy keeping in touch, but I need some time to recharge on my own terms. I need some peace and quiet.

After my hard-earned rest, I shall go back to work immediately. This means I won’t be available for a long while again. I apologise. I might reappear from time to time, however.

Either way, starting now, I shall be utterly unavailable until further notice. Until then, best wishes everyone.

[thenarratorsblog]

I take this chance to announce something that might tarnish the heartfelt joy of these festivities, but I still feel compelled to say it. It is my duty to do so.

As you might have noticed, I ran out of ideas for my daily quotes. It is with a heart heavy with sorrow that I announce the discontinuation of that series. Let us take a moment to mourn. Fine, that’s plenty. I believe that if something no longer bears fruit, then it is time to leave this something behind and keep going forward. There is no shame in this.

Either way, here - let’s put a definite end to this:

[wii-demo]

Dang, I didn’t know it was 2105 already.

[thenarratorsblog]

Thank you for your invaluable contribution.

[wii-demo]

To answer your question, I have Xkit one-click reblog. It’s very useful for these sort of situations. Now your mistake is immortalized on my blog forever.

[thenarratorsblog]

I hope that makes you feel better about yourself. I mean, what other reason could be behind this than an unsatiated need for validation?

Well, here you go. You bested me. Feel better already? Good. Now leave, and seek other victims to feed your ego.

[wii-demo]

Don’t get salty now. After all, I did wish you a Merry Non-Specific Winter Holiday. This is a day of good spirits :D

As a gift, here’s a pic to cheer you up

i don’t know what is is but i hope it fills you with love

[thenarratorsblog]

Ah, this explains why your icon seemed familiar.

And... thanks for the pic? I guess?

...I think I’ll go back to resting for the time being...

[thenarratorsblog]

I take this chance to announce something that might tarnish the heartfelt joy of these festivities, but I still feel compelled to say it. It is my duty to do so.

As you might have noticed, I ran out of ideas for my daily quotes. It is with a heart heavy with sorrow that I announce the discontinuation of that series. Let us take a moment to mourn. Fine, that’s plenty. I believe that if something no longer bears fruit, then it is time to leave this something behind and keep going forward. There is no shame in this.

Either way, here - let’s put a definite end to this:

[wii-demo]

Dang, I didn’t know it was 2105 already.

[thenarratorsblog]

Thank you for your invaluable contribution.

[wii-demo]

To answer your question, I have Xkit one-click reblog. It’s very useful for these sort of situations. Now your mistake is immortalized on my blog forever.

[thenarratorsblog]

I hope that makes you feel better about yourself. I mean, what other reason could be behind this than an unsatiated need for validation?

Well, here you go. You bested me. Feel better already? Good. Now leave, and seek other victims to feed your ego.

[thenarratorsblog]

I take this chance to announce something that might tarnish the heartfelt joy of these festivities, but I still feel compelled to say it. It is my duty to do so.

As you might have noticed, I ran out of ideas for my daily quotes. It is with a heart heavy with sorrow that I announce the discontinuation of that series. Let us take a moment to mourn. Fine, that’s plenty. I believe that if something no longer bears fruit, then it is time to leave this something behind and keep going forward. There is no shame in this.

Either way, here - let’s put a definite end to this:

[wii-demo]

Dang, I didn’t know it was 2105 already.

[thenarratorsblog]

Thank you for your invaluable contribution.

[thenarratorsblog]

I take this chance to announce something that might tarnish the heartfelt joy of these festivities, but I still feel compelled to say it. It is my duty to do so.

As you might have noticed, I ran out of ideas for my daily quotes. It is with a heart heavy with sorrow that I announce the discontinuation of that series. Let us take a moment to mourn. Fine, that’s plenty. I believe that if something no longer bears fruit, then it is time to leave this something behind and keep going forward. There is no shame in this.

Either way, here - let’s put a definite end to this:

[thenarratorsblog]

Merry Non-Specific Winter Holiday! Did you get any gifts this jolly time of year?

Happy Holidays to you as well! I wish a joyful time for you, today and onwards.

Well, actually… I received nothing, but I did allow myself to take some time off and rest. I’ve been listening to music and sleeping. I mean, I don’t technically need sleep, but it’s still nice.

[thenarratorsblog]

oh gosh what ARE you working on? i am Extremely curious now :0

Well, I’m glad you asked! I was going to write about it even without being solicited. I think everyone would find it fascinating.

You see, I am currently having some trouble with Stanley. He is unwilling to follow the story, or to make choices in general. I’ve grown tired of resetting his memory as well. We both needed something new, something daring, exciting, something none of us ever experienced before. But what? I was at loss for a while, but then inspiration struck me like blessed lightning from the highest heavens.

We needed more endings.

Of course! It was so obvious, I didn’t even consider it at first. Simplicity is often the best solution indeed. And, well, I’ve been working on brand-new endings, in order to make Stanley more willing to participate. I’m still working on some ideas, but I’ve implemented a couple of endings already. Some notable ones, in my opinion, are:

The Puppy Ending: remember the flight of stairs leading to the Boss’ Office? I have added an extra floor at the top, with one single door awaiting Stanley. It leads to an extremely long, almost claustrophobic corridor, which grows progressively darker as Stanley progresses. He eventually reaches a mysterious door, he opens it… and it closes behind him. He is in utter darkness… but then - surprise! Lights up, and Stanley finds himself surrounded by puppies. He is now trapped in said room, with all these puppies to pet for all eternity.

The 420 Ending: it’s… not exactly an ending. It’s like the broom closet, but with consequences. When entering Room 420, I will comment on Stanley’s unhealthy fascination with memes and drugs, and how he believed to find a certain something to smoke in there. In fact, it is just another room, not unlike his own office. If he stays in there for too long, he’ll start to experience everything as if he was actually under the effect of cannabis. This effect will last for the entire duration of that specific run. I hope you’re happy now, Stanley.

The Pool Ending: …honestly? The Pool Ending was a mistake. I added an elevator facing the door that leads to what I believe you call the Dream Ending. Well, the elevator would reach a lower level, and after some exploring Stanley would find a pool, and - I might have slightly miscalculated. I have now replaced it with the Hell Ending.

The Hell Ending: now, this is a work of art. Pure, raw, undistilled genius. After taking that new elevator, it will come to an abrupt stop, power going out. After the loading screen, Stanley finds himself in a dark room. In this artificial dusk, he can see things moving at the corner of his eye - oh, yes! Buttons! Beautiful buttons of all size and shape, all around him - what a wonderful discovery! He gleefully walks towards the closest ones, and presses them. They feel unnaturally flat. He tries again. His finger slightly bends at the hopelessly flat surface. Oooh… they are not buttons. They are nothing more than reproductions, ultrarealistic paintings of buttons, voluptously glinting at him from the malicious dark. This is when he starts to hear them: mischievous, traitorous whispers, inviting him to push the buttons. “Push them!”, they plead, a muffled scratching in his ears. “You won’t regret it! Push them! Push the buttons! The buttons!”. They’re inside his head now. He can’t escape.

Now, there’s even more in the works, and I’m trying out even more endings. I have to clarify, however: they won’t be added to the game itself. These are just experiments, hypothetical deviations. Nothing more, nothing less.

[thenarratorsblog]

Happy holidays, Narrator! C: Good to still see you around.

Oh, thank you! I wish the world has been kind to you as of late.

And of course I’m still around - you should know more than anyone how difficult it is to get rid of me, hm?