ONE-MONTH RETAKE SURVIVAL GUIDE šš§ š
I have failed one of my college subjects this semester (in case you want to know, it's Psychometrics, a subject about how to build psychological assessment tools, measurement instruments, and formalized models ā basically statistics 3.0).
Here in Europe, itās not that much of a big deal to fail a subject, especially in public universities. Iād say about 75% of students, if not more, have failed a subject at some point during their degree, and about 30ā50% of us have had to retake at least one each year. So why the fuss?
The thing is, I have been sleeping poorly since April or so. I have always been an insomniac, ever since my teenage years, but a recent change in medication has made it even more pronounced. I. Am. Exhausted. I have been for the whole month of May, while having to take my second-semester exams. The last thing I wanted was to have to retake a subject, especially since temperatures are starting to rise dramatically, lowering my energy levels and intensifying my migraines at the same time, making the prospect of sitting down and taking in difficult shit even more unappealing.
So yeah ā Iāve had to come up with a plan. You know what they say: fail seven times, stand up eight. Try telling that to myself a few days ago when, in the midst of a mental breakdown, I declared I was going to retake the course next year ā giving myself no chance to resit the exam. I had my reasons, though. I still have them in mind. My professorā¦ how do I put it? She has made this subject significantly harder than it needed to be. Exemplifying with some decorum what, in social psychology, we call the self-serving bias, I concluded that the reason for my catastrophic failure was entirely her, not me. Solution? Retake the course, change professors, pass with merits. Two days later, guilt was consuming me from the inside. Mainly because my perspective for the whole month of June was basically doing nothing. And my hyper-productive self could never stand doing nothing when is something that must be done.
3 weeks. 7 theoretical topics and a data analysys tool that I need to learn how to use. Easy peasy... not.
In all seriousness, Iām learning to try without needing certainty that it will work. Itās one of those things you have to figure out in your twenties, and it applies to everything in my life ā from academics, to trying a new hobby, to applying for a job or a scholarship, and even to love and friendship. In this case, I have the certainty that I can retake the course next year if I fail once again. I have the certainty that, in the end, everything will work out just fine. But there's a part of me that cannot handle the feeling of being humilliated with another failure, even if the humilliation is self-imposedā even if no one is actually judging me, and itās just the story I build in my head about what failing says about me. So if the odds are not in my favor, I tend to just not try. And if I do try, I go all in, often overextending myself until it turns into burnout in a few day's time, and the cycle of procrastination and self-dread starts once again.
This time, Iāve promised myself not to ride the wave. Consistency is key, but so is flexibility ā all in good measure. Iām not letting myself turn responsibility into the bad cop and flexibility into the overly permissive one. I am choosing to trust myself with self-regulation: studying a couple of hours a day, accepting that some days I wonāt get up as early as I want to, or Iāll end up distracted by my phone or other things simply because I donāt have the energy to engage. And thatās okay, as long as I try and refocus.
My mother always tells me: āWhatās the best way to eat a dinosaur? Bite by bite.ā
Anyhow, these are the basics of my one-month retake survival guide:
ā° Try to wake up early, but not too early ā around 8 a.m. (I work better in the morning, and itās cooler too; the afternoon heat makes procrastination dangerously easy).
š§Drink lots of water and other fluids (buying a tumbler has been a game changer for me, also kombucha or iced herbal bevreages such as green tea with honey and lemon, or hibiscus). The more variety in taste, the more "your brain" stays engaged and motivated. Remember: "the brain" likes novelty and change.
š„ļø Using Twitch study-with-me streams as background noise (they help me stay accountable as I follow other people's Pomodoros, while feeling less alone and preventing losing focus due to boredom).
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š§ If study-with-me streams donāt work for you, I also use 50ā10 Pomodoro sessions on YouTube. I try to find themed ones with fantasy-like ambience (Harry Potter, The Hobbit, Sherlockā¦), and make my study time a bit more whimsical ā maybe even dissociating slightly from the uncomfortable reality of studying factor analysis when it feels like summer has already started and I should be sunbathing in the pool. I really like ASMRWeekly and INNER ACADEMIA on YouTube.
š§ Another background music tip: playing soundtracks without lyrics on repeat. It helps my hyperactive brain ease into a workflow ā I donāt really know the mechanics behind it, but it works wonders. For example: One Piece and other anime soundtracks, Greyās Anatomy intro, Succession intro, Oppenheimer, Interstellar, The Theory of Everything soundtracks, BBC Sherlock music, or Pokemon and other video game soundtracks (Mario Kart works wonders for getting hyped up).
š„š Nourishment is very important. Carbohydrates are the primary fuel source for your brain. When you eat carbs, your body breaks them down into glucose, which your brain uses to mantain optimal cognitive functions like memory, focus and mood. Moreover, simple carbohydrate intake (āsugarsā) is linked to a decline in overall cognition, while complex carbohydrate intake (starches and fiber) is linked to both shortā and longāterm memory improvement and successful brain aging. (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12209867/). Eating simple carbs may feel like what your body needs at first (a quick spike of energy), but keep in mind a sugar crash will follow, so it may not be the best for long study periods (2h and on). So here's my tip: HAVE BREAKFAST and eat healthy SNACKS. Eat fruits, nuts and whole wheat bread. Your body will ask for sugary and fatty food, balance how much study time is ahead of you in order to decide if eating it makes the best option. Snacking while studying (e.g., nuts) acts as a low-effort positive stimulus, helping reduce boredom and keeping attention anchored to the task for longer.
ā Coffee: Best if taken early in the morning. Not recommended after lunchtime else it will cause insomnia (in my very particular case). Keep in mind cofee starts peaking 45 to 60 minutes after drinking it. It lasts 4-6h till aprox. 50% of the caffeine intake is metabolyzed, and 3-7h more till it completely leaves the system. However, these effects can vary because of how caffeine interacts with adenosine receptors in the brain. Adenosine is a chemical that builds up throughout the day and makes you feel sleepy. Caffeine works by blocking those receptors, preventing that āsleepynessā signal from fully kicking in. So, to put it simply, even when caffeine levels start dropping, your brain may still feel alert depending on how sensitive your receptors are and how much adenosine has accumulated. All in all, plan your day and your study sessions before having your coffee, so it works best when you do drink it. I personally take my cofee first thing in the morning and start with the heaviest subjects, leaving easier tasks for late morning and the evening.
š¤ Napping: Avoid when possible. There are studies suggesting that 10ā30 minutes of sleep during the day can make you feel more awake afterwards and help with memory consolidation and creativity. For me, it doesnāt work. My chronic lack of nighttime sleep makes it difficult to feel satisfied with only 30 minutes of rest during the day. So when I fall asleep in the afternoon, it becomes very hard to wake up after a short nap, even with an alarm. And when I do manage to wake up, I usually feel dizzy, low on energy, and with a headache. The heat only makes it worse, because your body tends to dehydrate while sleeping. So I try not to nap, even if my body begs for it after lunchtime. I avoid throwing myself onto the bed or the sofa to watch TV ājust to rest,ā because I know Iāll most likely end up falling asleep. Instead, I try to engage in low-effort activities, such as writing ā always sitting down, rather than lying in bed. If I find myself extremely tired I will take an hour of sleep and deal with the consequences, always trying to place my phone away from my bed or the sofa so I will have to stand up in order to set off the alarm, and I must remember to hydrate inmediately afterwards.
š Sleep: try to go to sleep earlier than 12pm. This one is a bit flexible right now because of the insomnia episode Iām going through. It comes hand in hand with waking up earlyāif I fall asleep at 3am, thereās no way Iām getting up at 8am, so Iām giving myself some grace on both ends. Still, Iām working on building a night routine: ABSOLUTELY AVOID getting trapped in the endless loop of reading fanfic before bed (I quit social media a while ago, but the infinite scroll just turned into infinite ao3ā¦); play a podcast or audiobook as background noise to fall asleepānothing too engaging; read a bit before bed; drink a sleep infusion (lemon balm + passionflower) about 30 minutes before sleeping, and avoid screens for 30 minutes to an hour before bed (phone only for the audiobook/podcast); close the windows (it is still a bit chilly during the nights and cold does worsen sleep quality) and sleep without a pillow (no idea why, but lately itās been making it harder to fall asleep??? especially when insomnia turns into anxiety and overstimulation).
š Supplements: APPARENTLY (we're in trial phase here, guys! all I'm about to say comes from pop science books and videos, keep in mind I'm not a medical professional or a researcher in the field!) Magnesium bisglycinate helps reduce stress and improves memory consolidation. Paired with Omega 3 (which apparently also helps with cognitive function), it helps with sleep. Iron tablets, because I am usually low on iron so these are doctor prescribed, but Iron usually helps with energy levels, fatigue and cognitive function, especially if you menstruate (because you lose blood=iron). It's in spanish, but I really recommend The Saiyan Kiwi as a YT channel for evidence based content on nutrition and exercise.
šāāļøšŖ Exercise: Low dosage (45' to 1h), twice a day if possible, cardio and gym (flexibility is key). I use exercise as rest in between 2h+ study periods. Eg: Study for 3h in the morning + exercise 45'; Study for 2h in the evening + exercise 45'. Reminder that exercise boosts mood (hello oxytocin/endorphins), which helps me regain motivation for another round of study work. Keeping up with the motivational aspects, exercise also poses a challenge. Pushing through it and seeing that I can handle it is a reminder that I can face other challenges tooāincluding sitting down and studying.
š¤øāāļø Active Resting: For the 10' breaks in between the 50' pomodoros, I am trying to avoind scrolling or overworking due to having nothing to do during said timeframe, and engage in activities that require movement: doing house chores such as laundry/dishes; making myself some food; refilling my water tumbler; stretching (I have downloaded an Office Workout app) or high intensity short workouts such as running up and down the stairs a couple of times or burpees (in order to overcome fatigue and oxygenate the brain).
At the end of the day, this isnāt about being perfect. Itās about showing up, even when itās messy, even when I'm a little tired, even when Iām not sure itāll work.Reminder: Small, consistent effort over dramatic bursts. Bite by bite, Iāll get through this.
I'll keep you updated on my journey ššš§
