The Tortured Fart Department

The Tortured Fart Department is a subsidiary of The Tortured Poets Department where I post my mentally ill thoughts

[theofficialfartqueen]

SHOWGIRL OUT IN 40 MINUTES

[thebreakfastgenie]

Kids are going to die because of this. A lot more are going to suffer. Some will be permanently disabled. They’ll be at risk of shingles later in life. All completely fucking avoidable.

[theofficialfartqueen]

what the actual fuck???

may I remind you that the CDC's director is a guy who has worms in his brain and has no evidence of ever studying medicine.

[senatortedcruz]

You don’t wanna live in the country where the funnyman on tv can’t mock dear leader

[theofficialfartqueen]

bro this is so sad and embarrassing...he's not even making sense.

[theofficialfartqueen]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK!!!!

[theofficialfartqueen]

BROOOOO THIS COUNTRY SUCKS

this is actually sickening. fuck maga.

[liberalsarecool]

MAGA Cabinet appointments were based on having the least experience. 'Electricity is energy' seems pretty basic.

Chris Wright is a dangerous moron.

[boatgrave-deactivated20250901]

[mysteryteacup]

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

[theofficialfartqueen]

OBJECTS WERE BEING THROWN OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE WINDOWS YESTERDAY ON SEPTEMBER FIRST!!!!!

[theofficialfartqueen]

TRUMP HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE !!!!

[theofficialfartqueen]

ITS HAPPENING BRACE YOURSELVES!!!

[theofficialfartqueen]

MELANIA TRUMP SPOTTED AT WALTER REED NATIONAL MILITARY MEDICAL CENTER !!!!!

[newtonpermetersquare]

Magnets: I want to commit diamagnetic

[squided]

how did I never once think to use tape fuck

[rubykgrant]

one time as a kid I forcefully shoved two magnets together, and these were the strong magnets my dad used in his shop to pick-up missing little metal bits, and I held them really tightly in the palm of my hand, went up to this one kid who legit said things like “I think black cats are bad, they should be drowned” and drew crosses on the notebooks of kids if she found out they didn’t go to church, I told her “Hey. I’m a witch. If you don’t stop trying to hurt animals and picking on kids, I’ll use my magic to throw you into the sky”, and when she dared to doubt my powers I told her that I had two “rocks” in my hand that I could send across the playground, then I opened my hand the the magnets shot off in two different directions (we were over in a spot that was empty, so no other kids were around, nobody got hurt), one of them stuck to a drainpipe and the other stuck to a fence. This kid SCREAMED, and ran to the office, and I guess had her mom pick her up from school, and then she wasn’t there for a couple of days, finally her mom called my house and claimed I had “traumatized her daughter by performing a terrifying magic trick”, and when my parents asked what I did I just said “I showed her a magnet and she flipped out. She’s not gonna be happy when she finds out about gravity, either”. eventually this kid came back to school and always made a point to come up to me and say “Hey, my mom told me not to talk to you!”, and would just be like “Good job, you already screwed that up”

[iliveinmyblanket]

Holy shit

[trapny]

Oh my god this is so fucking funny

[theofficialfartqueen]

BAHAHAH IJBOL

[azuremist]

Anyone else noticing how all of this is happening at once.

Age verification for Wikipedia and Spotify. YouTube banning accounts for under-16s, and rolling out AI to detect if someone is actually 18 based on their viewing history (100% guaranteed to falsely mark autistic adults as children at an irregularly high rate, btw). Banning porn off Steam and itch. Attempts to ban and IP range-block VPNs. Age verification for not just porn, but anywhere you could maybe possibly see porn, including basic social media features like DMs.

What the fuck is happening. At the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist, what the fuck are they preparing for

[liberalsarecool]

DOGE was Russia. Elon is a opportunist. Trump is a traitor. Connect the dots.

[makingdonalddrumpfagain]

⁉️

[theofficialfartqueen]

lmao the hypocrisy...its like wanting attention from your friend so you start agreeing with them

[depsidase]

[theofficialfartqueen]

oh so they mean the White House, Congress, Senate, and the Supreme Court???