In case you want to follow this page: Here a 3 rules I live by #nonnegotiable
1. Love needs action
2. Trust needs proof
3. Sorry needs change !!!

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@theonelovesgoodstories
In case you want to follow this page: Here a 3 rules I live by #nonnegotiable
1. Love needs action
2. Trust needs proof
3. Sorry needs change !!!
Fiction incoming… ( test ) :
A simple summer weekend break from our semester. Too good to be true? Until we would enter our last semester this fall and graduate. Sounded like a great idea. The plan: Go up to my family‘s vacation house / lodge at the lake. Just the four of us. Jenna, Carol, Mina and I. Girls only, no guys or drama. We all have been friends since kindergarten.
If it had only been that simple. All I wanted was a girls trip- No siblings to annoy us. To be fair only half of us had siblings. Carol and I were the only ones. Her an older sister by two years. And I a younger brother. But who cares?! Definitely no parents. We were all 21 so it should have not been a problem. Except when your so called parents, who usually gave you to the nannies, suddenly remember one important detail. Being high profile and having a family comes usually with a bigger price. In my case with death threats towards everyone. But for the past five weeks their main target had been me. The eldest daughter. No questions on why and who. My Dad and his people were still working on it…
Nobody seemed to be super interested in a fifteen your old brother named Alex. Apparently I was worthy of their attention. So for the past hour I had been sitting in my Dad‘s home office. Being forced to listen to a lecture on a Thursday afternoon. „ Arabella are you even listening to me?!“, his tone and body language telling me he was about to lose his patience. Shit. Dad being angry never ended well. I sighed heavily, before answering him. „ Ok Dad. I give up. You get your will. We will take security with us.“ To be slightly dramatic I paused for a beat; continued with „ … but I have one condition: Not more than four of these bodyguard robots. Otherwise no deal.“ Dad shot me a half relieved, half annoyed look. „ I can live with that. You promise in return something though. No parties and only your girls in the house. No guys or other strangers.“ I nodded. We were definitely not planning on partying. Nor did we want to invite some guys over. Possibly. Unless Carol started flirting too much again; with the employee inside a supermarkt again. That would become a big problem. Certainly one of her signature moves.
„ Easy Dad. We just plan to stick to all four of us. Nobody else.“ What I didnt say was we had plans to go to a club nearby Saturday night. Should be fine with security, right? Plus, Jenna had her own security detail. I asked her last night. She had to bring three of them. Seven of them should be efficient! Carol and Mina, no idea how, convinced their parents to leave the bodyguards at home. Mina‘s parents were almost never home anyways. Usually they didnt care. Carol had worked her magic by arguing I and Jenna‘s was enough security for a weekend from Friday till Monday.
As soon as I got out of the office; texted our group chat it was a go! The girls would be arriving around 7 am at my place, so we could drive up together then. I lived the closest. Without traffic it was about a 3 hour drive.
Next morning I woke up at 5:15am. For the past few years I always woke up at this exact time. No matter what. Going back to sleep was impossible after too. What most people didnt know. Thank god it was not public knowledge. I had been kidnapped once when I was 19. In between my first and second semester. Nobody knew any details. Not family or friends. Only my therapist. Whom I made sign four different NDAs, before telling him anything. It still haunted me. The reason I was at the wrong place at the wrong time to witness something traumatic. So they decided the best revenge was for finding out it was me: Naturally to kidnap for ransom. No there was no happy ending or justice afterwards. They were never caught. Got ready in record time. Since I had packed everything the past 2 days didnt need to stress about it. At 6:30am the girls arrived. We hugged and talked for a bit. At 7:15 am we decided it was time to leave. My brother was still asleep, so was my Mom. However, to my surprise Dad showed up half asleep, dressed in sweatpants and a dark shirt. What did he want now? We would be driving with four cars. Due to the security. But I and my friends already knew that. „ Good Morning Dad. What are you doing outside?“ My friends quickly said their good mornings too, then gave us some privacy by putting our suitcases in the trunk of one car. „ Morning sweetheart. I forgot to tell you there is a change in security personel.“ „ Why?“ I asked stunned. Connor, Xander and Andy were regular ones. Not permanent. All three standing right there near the car. The fourth man was usually anyone from the team. „ I deemed it necessary. Ah he is coming right our way. Good timing.“ I turned slightly looking at the same direction my Dad did. All the security guys were good looking yes, most were ex-/ active military, police etc. The at least 6‘5 tall asian guy walking our way right now was in a league of his own though! What the hell?! I froze while staring right at him. Stop it girl! Stop gawking at him omg!!
Yeah this was not happening. He was dressed identical to the others. Dark suit, white shirt. Firearm underneath the jacket. But it was not just his model like looks. His aura was different. Gosh Arabella get it together?! The guy gave a simple nod to my Dad. Guess they had talked before hand, so now there was nothing left. He turned his dark blue eyes towards me, introducing himself. Even his voice was hella deep with a sexy undertone. „ Hello I am Ren your new permanent bodyguard. Nice to meet you Arabella“. He showed no emotions and talked like he was commenting on the weather. I ignored him, adressing my Dad instead. „ What the hell Dad! I never had a permanent one. You should have told me. Where did you even find him?! “ Anger came out of nowhere almost. My tone harsher than intended. Dad very well knew I didnt do well with new people. Now this. He looked equally pissed just replied icly. „ Dont ask questions. Just get in the car and have a nice trip. We talk when you get back“. He then just turned towards the house and left.
Oh fuck. This was not the start of the trip I had imagined. Dont know what came over me, but it just came out of my mouth in a low voice. So only Ren could hear me. Staring him dead in the eyes. „ First of all I dont like new people. Second I also dont trust you. Third did my Dad recruit you straight from the Yakuza or what?“. My friends already got in the car. So I opened the door now, got in the backseat with them. Without looking back at him. I could swear though seeing a glimmer of amusement in his eyes…
Ren then entered the car. Sat in the passenger seat. Andy was driving today. Connor and Xander were in another car. Jenna‘s guys in the other two. I noticed subtly her security had increased from 3-6 guys. The car ride was going to be torture…
To be continued!
* SIGH* for real… 😭🙄
Short Diary Entry #11?
Yes this time I actually mean it. No jokes either. Maybe. Today was not too bad- technically. If you take a away the fact we need to change locks of our front door. Nobody really noticed in the house, until I brought up the fact that the keys dont work. It does look like someone tempered with it ( ). You bet I did order a semi expensive doorbell camera. Been wanting to do it for a while. This was the „ icing on the cake“ moment. Tomorrow is gonna be the hottest day of the week : 40 degrees celsius ( yes I live in europe ). No please dont ask about the lack of ACs! :/
Bye. Short enough ? Hopefully! Cant wait to work this weekend in „ less“ heat…
ofcccccc
#you're not you when you're hungry (for cock)
+ bonus (no aftercare or kisses = sad hollanov)
Diary entry number ( who even cares ?? ) - plus I am too lazy to count lol. Okay jokes aside I think 11. Again who cares these posts get lost in all of the tumblr universe anyways…
Have you ever been that one friend in your life who pretty much turned into: The one who gives the best unsolicited advice, plays your therapist ?! ( unpaid totally for free of course … ) keeps everyones secret. Not to forget becomes the tool for regulating your nervous system? Yeah when you’re younger and still growing it aint fun. You yourself have no clue, yet have already a lot of wisdom. But you very well know they most likely would have never done the same for you in return… Been there done that. When you get older, lived more, learned a few more lessons, you realise a lot. For example that ( sorry I would argue someone at the age of 17-19 / early 20s) should know better yes. Hell no they were not oblivious of their actions. They did know what they were doing. Yes the frontal lobe aint developed around the age of 28- 30. Still at a certain age you possess the basic meaning of you are responsible for your own actions.
bye, xoxo ( not gossip girl - yes I did watch the OG show. Or course they botched the ending and kinda ruined it at the end ) b.
Not a diary entry #10
Never trust strangers. ( Valid too, yes sometimes even family, but thats a more complicated topic) Especially on the internet! It never ends well. They either catfish, lie all the time ( its a given), make you open up, while they stay „ mysterious“. Or they „ fall in love with you“ * ewww* ( happened to me once… lets just say it was creepy ).
Unless you find a unicorn like I did. It was not easy at all. We communicate on Twitter / X. We bonded over a very famous band that is currently on a world tour with their new album. Similar in age. And we clicked instantly. However building a certain level of ( fragile still yes) trust took a few years. Yes not months. A few years. Not joking. So moral of that story : If I would ever trust someone again at any point it would take more than 6 months - probably at least a year to somewhat fully trust… call it crazy. But if you went through certain things in life you would understand perfectly where I am coming from.
bye.
Diary Entry #8/9(?)
Short personal message: The Millenial part of the username aint a suggestion. (Un) fortunately this shizz is real… So yeah nothing more to add. Other than some music in the 2000s was definitely way better ( no I am not joking!). Please dont fight me on this thank you:).
PS: Oh there are people who agree on this with me;)
Anyways happy monday! ( everyone’s “ so not fave” day of the week )
byeeee
Diary Entry #7? ( yes the “?” is intentional )
Full disclosure I wanted to make this account, because I have been writing stories all the time and then delete them, because they arent good enough in my eyes…
Not necessarily to get up close and a bit personal on tumblr like its 2009 and you either were in high school, younger or not even born yet 😆!
So… I want to switch it up very soon, to try out and write a fictional ( not too long ) story.
Thats it. Maybe it will finally stick and it wont end up in the trash ( virtually / literally sometimes…)
xoxo, b.
Diary Entry #6? ( Should I stop counting them for fun or keep it on purpose haha)
Sooo I am back with a short one today. Yes its gonna be short. Not just saying it and then trick you into reading half an essay!
Anyways…
Anything group organised activity based it aint my thing. Too many people, too many dynamics and definitely tooo many personality. As an introvert with anxiety thats a damn nightmare * eye roll* . Today this fine sunny Saturday I spent re-doing a first aid course. Havent done one since taking the driving test ( aka been a while people!). At first I was ( usual insecurities talking) yeah that aint gonna end well for me. But, hey it turned out way better in the end. I made a friend ( okay yes just for the 8 hour duration of this course ). She and I did all the exercises together and some group stuff too. Did kinda regret not asking for her number, but then its kinda awkward like: Hey wanna actually become friends?! Oh well. At least we learned a lot and it was actual useful this time around!
Thats all for the update.
xoxo, b.
PS: Yes it was a whole day thing from 8 am until 4 pm. With breaks and a bigger one… byeee have a nice weekend!
Diary Entry#5?
Title: Meant to go with something else entirely, then a random stranger DMed me here… ??
Trust me I will be going somewhere with this in a second. First of all who ever told people your trauma „ made you stronger“. Yeah complete and utter BS. I could list a lot of things right now. One of them is the absolute horror of dating apps. So to be perfectly I aint falling for anything anymore at all. Really wish sometimes I had these ( kinda did maybe 2-3 times) „ normal“ stories. How bad it was in terms of for example: „ We had nothing to talk about and it was awkward as hell etc.“ Oh no. Sadly its one of these ( yes it was not just one time…) on the other end where you question yourself, start guilt tripping yourself over and over asking…. Why did I even put myself into this situation? I should have known better?! Of course the type of person who was typically emotionally so unavailable it aint funny.
Surprise surprise ( not really honestly!) over time you end up similarly. You have your walls so high up its become a fortress, you are closed off, dont get me started on trust. Thats something having to be earned over and over again. So in short: I stopped trying. At least people can now stop accusing me of „ lying about my age“ 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️… Reminds me of this line from the first Twilight movie when Bella asks Edward: How long have you been 17?! xD. Sorry I aint a vampire… 😆🫣…
Okay, bye xoxo, b.
PS: To the account who DMed me: I wont reply to strangers who type messages that sound like they were copy and pasted - sorry!!
Who doesnt?! XD
Diary entry #4?
Tumblr feels like talking into a void and to yourself. Like Twitter. Yes I know its called X / who gives a damn? * eye roll* . Oh well. Simply wanted to say I need to get more to reading physical copies of books… Instead of using 2 specific apps on my phone * Sigh*.
And using less emojis. But then for some reason people turn against you, while accusing you of being too serious?? Geeez. Oh well… cant be helped.
Someone once said : If you feel offended you got an ego problem.
So true. We shall all learn when and when not to take things personal AF. xoxo, b