Everything Yet Nothing @theonetrueselectioner - Tumblr Blog

I was once told that I wasn't bright nor smart enough to do or be anything special. Yet here I am. In college. I have a 3.5 GPA and I am a geology major. I could have let that teacher rule my life but I haven't. My life would be a lot different if I had let her negative thoughts about me become who I am. We create our own destiny.

epicreads

The Age of YA: A Timeline of Historical Fiction by Epic Reads

(Click the link to the get the full list of books, view this at a larger size and get the printable version!)

epicreads

Reblogging this one again for funsies.

daeranilen

"Should parents read their daughter's texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, “Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?”

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

daeranilen

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

You do not respect their rights as an individual.

You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.

You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

daeranilen

Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.

isitscary

I love this post.

Too many parents wonder why their kids aren’t honest with them, and never realize their own non-receptive behavior and their failure to listen are the reasons why.

At one point or another, a child WILL keep a secret from you, but if it’s to a point where all their emotional feelings are being poured away from you as opposed to toward you, it’s probably because you haven’t been emotionally trustworthy or open.

intersectionalparenting-deactiv

Adultism :(

sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219

not to mention, you then take away one of your child’s coping mechanisms. if your parents read your journal, you’re never writing in it again. if your parents monitor your conversations with friends, you won’t tell them when you’re depressed anymore. if you have a therapist that reports what you say to your parents, you won’t tell that therapist anything. now all those methods of venting, feeling better, self-soothing, sorting out your issues, and feeling safe are gone. “i want information” is not synonymous with “i want my child to talk to me.” those are two separate goals, but i think parents conflate them – i want my child to talk to me, but since they won’t, i’m stealing information from them. no. you didn’t ever want them to talk to you. you wanted information. if you wanted them to talk to you, if that was your entire end goal, you would have approached things completely differently. stealing information from a child ensures they will never talk to you again. but if all you want is information, then you can take it however you want and call it a parenting success. if what you wanted was a child who talks to you, you would apply the same principles you do to literally any other human interaction in your life, and cultivate a relationship and trust.

loveisbeautifulfear

America’s Heart

thehuntsmanwinterswar-blog

No kingdom is safe.

loveisbeautifulfear

THE CROWN LEAK

Someone HAS leaked an e-book galley of The Crown from NetGalley on Twitter (and it’s in the #TheCrown tag) so BE CAREFUL OUT THERE. I don’t know if the full thing is available, but I did see a screenshot of a page I wish I hadn’t. Don’t share the leaks, block anyone who does leak, and let’s respect Kiera’s work. We’ve waited 4 years, we can definitely wait 15 days.

greelin

[said while barely holding back tears] honestly this is fine and i am completely unaffected right now, currently, as we speak

Dockson: You mean you want to kill them?

Kelsier: Whoa, yeah. That does sound bad when you say it aloud.

Kelsier: ... and yes. We're going to un-alive them.

Zane: It's not stalking! I'm just trying to create a situation where Vin gets used to seeing me in her world.

TenSoon: Stalking.

Zane: No. Casual random encounters.

TenSoon: Which you engineer.

TenSoon: And it's called stalking.

loveisbeautifulfear

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? #TheCrown http://ift.tt/1qvS5f3

eadlynschreaveofillea

This is what happens when I don’t have homework on a weekday.

Credit to epicreads, Imogen Heap, and Kiera Cass.

purplebuddhaproject

Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others.

Timothy Leary (via purplebuddhaproject)