theonewithtoomanyHCs

I spend far too much time thinking about these assholes and look at what happened. All my writing is tagged "my writing" ****************************************

[theonewithtoomanyhhcs]

jsyk geoff has been sober for months now so including multiple alcohol-related headcanons on that most recent post of yours is really not cool. go to the last rt podcast he was on and listen to how he talks about why he stopped drinking and think about that next time you want to associate geoff with drinking.

Yeah I know he stopped! I wrote that thing months and months ago, and dug it up to post it. There were several alcohol-related ones on there that I deleted or replaced with others, I must have missed one! Even in that post, technically Geoff could have "drunk-dialed" them before he got sober, Sober Geoff is still my head canon! Sorry if I freaked anyone out, not my intention at all!

[theonewithtoomanyhhcs]

FAHC- Geoff

he used to love piña coladas. however, he rarely mentioned it, because he quickly got tired of six assholes screaming the piña colada song all the time.

once lost a bet and had to wear a black cocktail dress on the next heist

“whatever, I looked hot as dicks in that dress and you all know it”

His room is covered in books-- on shelves, in piles on the floor, on his bed, everywhere

he has a tattoo for each Crew member. He gets them, not when they first join, but when they’re really part of the Crew. Jack’s he got almost immediately, when she saved his life from a gunman. Gavin’s was the day he moved in. MIchael’s was the day he went back for Jack when she lost her getaway vehicle, Ray’s was after the first time he actually joined in Crew Game Night. Ryan’s was the first time he took off his mask, and Jeremy’s was when he organized three rival crews in a flash mob for Gavin’s birthday.

he’s honestly the most sentimental piece of shit in the world; he saves the most arbitrary things that he decided had meaning, from the tacky “Jeff” keychain that Gavin nabbed for him from England to the bullet that was lodged in Michael’s shoulder until Caleb arrived to get it out.

the first time he shaved his mustache, he was wearing a jacket (meaning all his tattoos were covered). Jack had put him in a chokehold and Ryan was holding a gun the second he walked in the door because they didn’t recognize him at first.

spoils his Crew all the time; he’ll just buy them a plane or a sports car out of the blue- it’s not like the King of Los Santos needs the money anyways

when he loses Crew Game Night (often) it’s a huge pain in the ass for the rest of them, even though it’s also hilarious. When he wins Crew Game Night (an extreme rarity) it’s much, much worse.

For Halloween one year he got them all to dress up as Ryan. Ryan, as it turns out, also went as Ryan. It was a very confusing Halloween.

He’s really, really, really not good at mini-golf or bowling. Both are now banned from Crew outings

Before he quit drinking, he managed to drunk dial every member of the crew at least once. Ryan had to pick him up one time because he couldn’t walk home. It was an uncomfortable experience for the both of them.

He spent a weekend in Austria one year. To this day, he refuses to talk about what happened there.

He has baby photos of each crew member that he keeps in his wallet and none of them have any idea how he got them.

He used to arrange official Crew meetings around once a week, but since those always ended up with him screaming and Michael punching Gavin, those have been confined to special occasions.

For someone who controlled an entire city, a hardened criminal who leads hardened criminals, you’d think he wouldn’t cry so hard at the movie Up. And yet, he does.

He made the mistake of threatening to fire them all so often that it is now a running joke, and the rest of the Crew has a standing bet on who will get fired the most each week (it’s usually Gavin).

He knows a very wide range of songs, from Broadway to Zeppelin, but he doesn’t know all of the words to them, so he just either mumbles or fills the missing words in with something else (almost exclusively dick-related).

There is a whiteboard in the meeting room with a tally count of how often Geoff will say “that’s ______ as dicks”. It’s been there for over two years, and it slowly took over the entire board.

He once essentially disappeared for a couple of months, occasionally popping back up for a day or two, and none of them really knew where he went or what he did. He was, frankly, a little offended that they were all fine when he came back

“Well what the fuck did you think, that we’d all be dead or captured in your absence?” Michael asks, to which Geoff responds that yes, he did think that

[blvnk-art]

Do you have any James and Harry headcanons? I just suddenly have papa James feelings

James saying that Harry is a genius whenever he learns something new

James watching Harry sleeping for 2 hours straight. “he’s so cute”

James trying to teach Harry how to say “mummy” for Lily’s 21st birthday. In secret. “ok, Harry. Now say to mummy what you learned. Happy birthday…………..” “bahsubam” “no, that’s not what we learned. Say ‘Happy birthday, mummy’.” “baaauuubuuuu brrrrrrrbrrrrr”. “very close”

James high fiving a 2-months-old Harry.

James crying when Harry was born. 

James talking to Lily’s huge belly. Singing, sometimes.

James holding Harry when he’s feeling sad and worried about the war.

Harry’s tiny heartbeat against his chest making James feel stronger.

James brushing Harry’s hair during bath, making all kinds of hairstyles with the soap

He accidently letting the soap fall on Harry’s eyes

“ WHAT HAVE I DONE? MY SON IS BLIND BECAUSE OF ME i’m a terrible father!!!” “James, calm down! He will be fine! Look. He’s laughing again.” “Because I just hit my head in the sink. He knows I deserved that.”

James playing guitar to Harry and Harry looking at him with his green eyes and mouth wide open, really concentrated to the song.

James saying “you have beautiful eyes, Harry.” And Lily walking behind the sofa saying “Thanks, honey”.

James teaching Harry how to fly the tiny broom Sirius sent in his 1st birthday. “james, you will break the toy, it doesn’t support your weight, I can’t believe I’m even saying that to you” “babies need to see someone doing something in order to learn”

and the list goes on

[anarchetypalarchive]

i like to think that with all the change in command with ah (geoff to lindsay to trevor etc etc), whenever anybody in the fake ah crew wants to do something, they get stuck in a forever loop of “go ask your mother”

like the lads ambush geoff with “can we use this grenade launcher to blow up an abandoned strip mall” and geoff’s like “that’s not my problem anymore, go ask trevor”

and trevor is in the middle of scheduling four million meetings and jobs and deliveries and he looks at the lads with the wide-eyed, manic expression of someone who’s been subsisting on coffee for the past two days and he says “do i look like i have time for this, jfc, go ask lindsay”

and lindsay’s like “i mean, i gotta be honest, that sounds like a fucking awesome idea, but you should probably ask jack, jack knows how to be reasonable”

(jack, deadpan, before the lads can even finish asking: “no.”)

[roll2d20]

The definitely true story of how James and Lily got together

James Potter not asking out Lily all sixth year because he’d finally pushed it too far and wanted to back off

Lily realizing over the summer that she fancied James, and upon coming back to school telling Sirius one night (although why she thought that Sirius Black was going to keep that a secret is beyond science itself) and making him swear to secrecy (yeah right)

Sirius, of course, telling James that night

After literally four hours straight of James coming to terms with it (really?? now? And you’re sure? How’d she tell you? What’d she look like when she said it?) they begin to develop the perfect, sweet way for James to ask Lily out 

this is after Remus vetoes calling the plan “Get James Lil-AAAIIIDDD”

the four boys finally coming up with a simple but humorously touching way of doing it (Remus once again vetoing twelve fireworks, six house-elves, a memory charm and tea leaves, courtesy of Padfoot) and deciding to execute this plan the next morning at breakfast

Lily Evans being really freaked out about her crush on James (oh god what if he knows, he stopped asking me out and what if he hates me now what if he laughs at me if I tell him what if-) and Marlene giving her the best advice, she swears, that she has ever recieved on what to do. so,

breakfast comes and lily marches up to James Potter and before he can say a word “Oi, Potter, I fancy you. Go to Hogsmeade sometime?”

James is stunned silent, and before his mind can process anything he just blurts out “NO” because he was supposed to do it but he just says it, out loud, for her to here

lily turning bright red and running away because this is her worst nightmare oh my merlin everyone was watching him reject me 

james has the most horrified look on his face because it all went wrong and that’s how you got James Potter sprinting after an embarassed Lily Evans at nine in the morning in the Great Hall, yelling “WAIT EVANS THIS IS ALL WRONG I WANT TO GO TO HOGSMEADE WITH YOU AND IM SORRY OH MERLIN I FUCKED UP JUST WAIT FOR THE LOVE OF-”    

and that’s the story of how lily asked James out, sort of, and then they ended up kissing outside of the Great Hall, both of them a little out of breath from the running and yelling

[fuckthateatshit]

fake ah ryan where the crew dies and he’s the last one standing.

fake ah ryan where the crew lives on inside his head, hallucinations that flicker in and out and change depending on his mood.

fake ah ryan where a version of geoff ramsey mocks strangers inside his head, tells a raunchy joke every now and again, laughs at him whenever he orders a diet coke at a bar, tells him with a cold rage he should break that guy’s hand for talking about chicks like that, whines about how he never does anything fun these days and tells him to lighten the fuck up asshole while wiping blood out of his moustache.

fake ah ryan where a version of jeremy dooley yells out to hit the gas and take that sweet ramp over there, and sure it’s not really a ramp, just a truck hauling a reeeeally conveniently angled boat, but you can totally make it, tries to convince him to do a quick u-turn with a lane of traffic barreling towards him while subtly straightening a bullet-riddled cowboy hat.

fake ah ryan where a version of jack pattillo calls him a dumbass every time he actually listens to jeremy, reminds him to eat when he hasn’t for days, gently nudges his thoughts toward running water when he’s becoming dehydrated, warns him that five minutes in a stolen chopper are all he can afford and whoops as they sail over the pacific ocean, even if every time she raises shattered arms in exhilaration, you can see the bones peeking out.

fake ah ryan where a version of michael jones mutters vindictively at every stranger who bumps into him, cuts him off, cuts in line; groans whenever ryan decides to be the bigger man in a situation, reminds him how fucking good it felt to bring a baseball bat down on some asshole’s head, promises that a dirty look is a grave insult and spews abuse with every punch that doesn’t land, sneers at every man bun in starbucks as he runs a blackened hand across the cinders where his curly hair used to be.

fake ah ryan where a version of ray narvaez jr pipes up out of the blue when he can’t sleep about how it’s fucking weird that no one’s ever actually written an article about area 51 right, repeats halo in an oppressive monotone loop and cheers ironically when he finally picks up the game, throws out less-than-PC comments from time to time, laughs when someone trips and falls and wipes away all the filthy ocean water that comes spilling out of his mouth when he does.

fake ah ryan where a version of gavin free scoffs as he picks out a shirt, coaxes him into telling the barista that he likes her apron pin in order to fluster her enough that she forgets to ring up the pastry, encourages him to help the lady next door with her groceries and make small talk with her so she’ll think of him when she next bakes cookies and has extras, reminds him that the bloke down the street has a crush on him and he could potentially get a few cheap meals by playing house, laughs at him when he flubs a word, as if gavin could get any real words out from his snapped neck.

fake ah ryan where a version of lindsay tuggey points out that it’s fourth of july and he could totally light up like thirty fireworks at once with no problem, encourages him to help the lady next door with her groceries simply because she seemed nice and she’s got some adorable kittens in the garage that look super soft and fluffy, tells him he should steal a pool floatie shaped like a unicorn from the local 7-11 while tossing her own head from hand to hand like a juggling ball.

fake ah ryan where a version of trevor collins wonders loudly about the quality of the zip ties he’s buying, insists he tests them out on the guy with the shittily dyed blue hair because ‘come on, man, look at me! i did better than that! it’s a crime!’, rattles off quick answers to questions not even yet fully formed, points out the obvious answer to a solution that ryan was grossly overthinking, comments on every near miss like he’s watching a sports game and through it all keeps trying to smooth his hair over the missing parts of his skull like it will hide the damage.

fake ah ryan with an army of the dead living on inside his head, fake ah ryan who is fine, just fine, fake ah ryan who can’t let them die just yet, because they’re the only family he’s got, you see.

[theonewithtoomanyhhcs]

if you watch Gavin very closely for long enough, you start to notice certain things. Like the way that he grips his knife (it never shakes), or the way he holds himself during negotiations (shoulders up, eyes sharp, feet steady, nothing like the scrawny, fumbling kid at home), or the way he remembers (everything). You watch the way his eyes move when he walks into a room (scanning, careful, taking in everything at once, assessing threats) and the way he’ll greet someone he’s never met (charming, witty, careful, never revealing anything about himself, figuring them out like a puzzle). It makes you wonder where he’s been (everywhere), the things he’s been through (pain, rage, loss, torture, fear, hell) and you start to question everything you know about the funny boy from across the pond.

But then again, if you watch Gavin very closely for long enough, there are other things you notice, too. The way he listens to Geoff (eyes wide, intent, almost reverent), the way he is when Jack gets hurt (knuckles white, mouth sharp, terrified and furious and more dangerous than he’s ever been). You see the way he interacts with Ray (never harsh, respectful, knows his boundaries, getting him to open up) or the way he talks to Ryan (like a brother, like a mentor, like the friend that Ryan never had before),  or the way he acts with Michael (caution to the wind, unstoppable, on fire).

The harder you look, the more you see, and the more you see, the less you’ll understand. This is a man forged in steel and spun in sugar, a man who will show you a friendly smile just as soon as he would a knife to your throat. The only guarantee is his love for the people he has chosen as his family, and even that comes about in any number of ways. You can study him for years, and believe me, they all have, and everyone who has tried has come to accept that they will never, ever know everything about their enigmatic British friend. Watch him long enough, and, just like the rest of them, you’ll realize that there are some things that you don’t think you really want to know.

[theonewithtoomanyhhcs]

I love the idea of FAHC Jeremy just being an absolute menace and no one realizing it until its too late.

“Oh, there’s a new FAHC member,” they say. “He looks like he’s not good for much more than muscle” or “He can’t be as murder-happy as the Vagabond. He can’t be as unpredictable as Gavin” or “He’s harmless, or at least as harmless as one of them can be.” He’s short and usually smiling, well-built but without the air of pure intimidation that Ryan gives out. He’s not the one that you have to watch out for, surely.

Then he’s sent out on missions and they realize. He’ll buy you a drink and then shoot you in the leg because it was “too good of an opportunity to pass up”. He’ll call a truce and then giggle as he blows up your warehouses just because he can. He’ll promise you he’ll send a message along to his boss and four months later when he’s surrounded by guns he’ll just give you a shrug and a grin and say “I never said when.” He lies just because he wants to, even when it’s obvious, even when there’s no advantage to it, and the worst part is that it doesn’t matter how many people he shoots for fun, how many lies he tells or mind games he plays, everyone still likes him. He’s effortlessly funny, with self-deprication and wry humor that practically forces you to trust him, the kind of guy that seems to be simple at first glance but in reality is anything but. He dyes his hair and smiles at everyone and loves monster trucks but he’s as sharp as a wolf and twice as bloodthirsty, and nobody expected it from the man they called Lil J.

[kingsofchaos]

You don’t know passive aggression until you’ve been in Jack’s car when she’s pissed off with Geoff. Jolts and jerks and sudden brakes, hairpin turns and sickening spins, her face utterly blank as she tunes out their screaming. And there is always screaming, hardened criminals or not there is no fear like rocketing through incoming traffic at top-speed while the driver fumes in silence, no equivalent feeling to the alarm when she takes a sudden unplanned detour off road, bouncing overs hills and into ditches with reckless abandon, always right on the edge of losing control. It’s a rare occurrence, thank the gods, Jack’s temper is usually loud and fleeting when it’s aimed at a crew-mate, but on the occasions when they really butt heads Geoff has always had a special ability to wind her up. Always had trouble admitting when he was in the wrong, refusing to just apologise, mocking any argument she comes up with rather than talking it out like an adult. So eventually Jack stops talking and Geoff, like a fool, always thinks it’s a victory. Which eventually leads them here, crammed on top of each other and held captive by child locks and the inability to survive leaping from the speeding car, clutching at handles and handguns, at any part of each other they can reach, caught between fearing the end and praying for a speedy death. Because of course Geoff can’t help himself, has to press on open wounds even when the fight is over, has to poke the bear even when the bear is driving. Even when the bear has proven time and time again that at this point she’s prepared to drive them all straight into a grave rather than back down. There is no pleading with Jack when she gets like that, not for the rest of the crew anyway, so when they’re caught in the crossfire it is always Geoff who catches their ire. As though sitting next to Jack in an arctic fury, being rattled around inside a little tin on wheels isn’t bad enough, Geoff inevitably finds himself dealing with a mutiny from the back seats. They make up for Jack’s silence tenfold, nauseous and unsettled their ultimatums are always particularly vicious, demanding his apology under threat of the unimaginable. Michael and Jeremy swear all kinds of bodily harm, Ryan has gotten halfway through upholding his promise to push Geoff out the window of the moving car, and once Gavin leaned forward and actually threw up on him. When he does eventually give up, thoroughly disgruntled, legitimately worried for his life and snarling about the lack of respect in his shitty excuse for a crew, Geoff’s apology doesn’t lack sincerity. Jack, having not said a word throughout this whole exchange, lets him stew for a minute, speech rambling along with a distinct note of panic before she gives in, slows down, and laughs.  

[theonewithtoomanyhhcs]

*pulls curtain back while geoff is in the shower*

ryan: are we - stop screaming, it's just me - are we out of cheez-its?

[fuckthateatshit]

the fake ah crew and aviation.

everyone in the fake ah crew knows how to pilot a plane, a helicopter, a jet, whatever. everyone in the fake ah crew has their own distinct styles.

ryan

an absolutely insane pilot. ridiculously reckless.

loves to fuck with people by flying right under them/crashing into them on the ground/flying directly at them and swerving at the last minute/firing missiles unnecessarily.

likes to yell ‘BOOM!’ as he blows things up below him.

likes to try to chop people in half with helicopter blades.

150% more maniacal cackling.

says he’s still in the air a lot.

the crew made a running joke out of it after he said it about ten times in one mission.

sighs every time he says it.

likes to skate off the tops of bigger planes.

“so…i may have [insert carefully understated act of mischief]”

ray

flies even less often than geoff.

prefers to sharpshoot from the passenger seat.

when he does fly, forgoes the usual loud talking and joking in favor of more subdued, spaced out, and sarcastic quips.

prefers jets.

while barely avoiding a building/radio tower/antenna/other plane: “uhp! i’m fine.”

can’t read an altimeter to save his life.

seriously it’s bad.

how do you get anywhere ray.

likes to park on a runway and shoot out people’s tires from the wing.

also just watch the other members of the crew zoom around through his sniper scope.

parks on top of convenience stores to load up on snacks.

has filled an entire cargo hold with funyuns.

“WHERE ARE THE LINES?!”

gavin

a distracted, but surprisingly good pilot.

very good at tricky landings.

always volunteers to do stunt flying.

has mixed results with stunt flying.

favors titans and cargobobs.

uses said cargobobs to pick up confused citizens and leave them on the roof of the maze bank tower.

lands on people/cars/trucks/trains/highways/rivers a lot, often without realizing.

“i wanna try something!”

panics a lot.

constantly makes flying/whooshing noises.

likes to play with chopper cameras.

runs people over a lot. far more than he should.

“uh oh. UH OH! (unintelligible squawking)”

jack

main pilot for the crew.

an expert with most forms of aircraft.

likes to do tricks.

she and geoff turn into giggly bitches when they fly together.

this is because she and geoff get up to some shit when they fly together.

flies under bridges a lot.

has a habit of losing a wing.

just the one wing. every time.

what do you have against two wings, jack?

gives the others helpful tips while flying.  ( “hey green plane, your wheels are still down!” )

“WOW”

michael 

reckless, if not quite as reckless as ryan.

favors choppers with gun attachments.

basically flies like a road rage driver.

yells so much.

so much.

also makes lots of flying/whooshing noises.

likes to fly directly up and stall his plane. nobody knows why??

constant benny and the jets references.

shoots at gavin.

shoots at civilians.

flies low over the streets and shoots up cars.

almost crashes into other people a lot.

yells at gavin a lot.

like more than usual, which is already a lot.

this is usually because he always ends up flying with gavin somehow.

“hOLY SHIT, ____!”

geoff

doesn’t fly if he can help it.

on the rare chance that he does, he flies decently, but not great.

constantly leaves the landing gear down/fuel tank empty/body riddled with bullet holes.

not very good at judging distance. clips a lot of billboards/mountainsides/radio towers/other planes.

likes sporty planes and wider-than-necessary turns.

“this is cool as dicks dude.”

often recaps episodes of always sunny and other tv shows when flying.

“saw that happen!”

[therearenofriendshipsinuno]

Ryan Haywood, the most feared man in Los Santos, has no doubt tripped over his own feet and knocked himself out on Geoff’s coffee table.

[anarchetypalarchive]

i’m laughing at the concept of immortal fake ah crew deciding to hide their immortality and this leading to shenanigans 

like jeremy fucking laughs the first time somebody shoots him in the chest, just a full-blown giggle you’d expect from a four year old, and then he’s like oh shit right and falls over dramatically like something out of the three stooges

gavin gets “killed” one weekend and then a few days later his killer sees him at a fucking stop-n-shop or something and gavin spends a full twenty minutes convincing the guy that he’s his own twin

michael gets stabbed in the stomach and is immediately like “i just GOT this FUCKING SHIRT– i mEAN OW, OH NO, I’VE BEEN STABBED, I’M DEFINITELY BLEEDING OUT RIGHT NOW, THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING, OH THE INHUMANITY” (”laying it on a little thick there, michael,” lindsay says)

ray gets shot and is basically like sweet naptime and fucking very carefully settles down on the sidewalk and strips off his hoodie and bundles it under his head like a pillow and dozes off ray does this every time he gets injured under the pretense that it might have killed me if i was mortal you don’t know (ray you got shot in the foot wake the hell up)

whenever jack gets “killed” and is later seen by the person who killed her, she staunchly insists she’s a ghost (”i’m here to haunt your ass for the rest of eternity, fucker”)

geoff and ryan get taken by a rival gang and ryan is shot in the chest; ryan immediately looks down at himself with a sad face and goes “aww.” (he’s wearing his “normal guy” shirt; geoff’s kind of glad it’s ruined now) geoff gives ryan a pointed look and ryan blinks, then clutches at his chest and starts to fucking monologue “Had I but time–as this fell sergeant, death, is strict in his arrest–” (”ryan, what.”) “But let it be. Horatio, I am dead–” (”then fucking die already, what are you doing, is that hamlet”) “aND IN THIS HARSH WORLD DRAW THY BREATH IN PAIN TO TELL MY STORY–” geoff ends up wrestling the gun from the gang member so he can shoot ryan again look, ryan has to use that theater experience somehow

[rosterteethlife-blog]

fahc aesthetic: Shannon “Jack” Pattillo 

[anarchetypalarchive]

you have to wonder how the fake ah crew manages to get anything done?? like heist planning alone must be a goddamn nightmare when you consider how 9/10 times during an AH video geoff can’t get through explaining the rules of a game without getting interrupted or lured into an argument for twenty minutes

like maybe geoff sets up the premise for a heist and everybody’s general reaction is there’s no fucking way that’s going to work are you kidding me, and geoff huffs and is like, “look, what do i always say?”

“uh, ‘i swear i’m not drunk right now’,” jack says thoughtfully.

“no.”

“don’t even look or breathe or exist in my general direction until i’ve had my coffee,” gavin pipes up.

“no–”

“for the love of god, ryan, stop breaking into my house at two in the morning and scaring the shit out of me,” ryan contributes.

“no–”

“for the love of god, michael, stop helping ryan break into my house at two in the morning so he can scare the shit out of me,” michael chimes in.

“NO– everybody shut the fuck up! you’re all fucking fired, i swear to christ.”

“ohhhh,” jeremy says, snapping his fingers and nodding. “right, yeah, that’s what it is.”

[theonewithtoomanyhhcs]

Ryan in GTA AU: -creepy, serious, extremely intelligent, intimidating-

Ryan playing GTA: -sets self on fire- i'M THE GHOST RIDER

[nyoschief]

Immortal Fake AH Crew but… glitches and surreal things actually happen

getting lightly bumped into and going full blown ragdoll physics - michael cursing up a storm as he drops to the ground after jeremy fist bumps him too hard

the crew calling up a vehicle and watching it just spawn out of thin air in front of them

invisible walls

ryan all of a sudden jumping out of a car and causing jack to slam on the breaks. ryan hops in a moment later, saying, “sorry, i accidentally jumped out” and everyone just nodding their heads understandingly

planes blowing up after the slightest of nudgings

meanwhile; cars that can take a beating and still run perfectly

being chased by hundreds of police officers and jack says “okay, im tired, enough of this” and calls up lester. the police disappear within seconds

remember gavin running his motorbike into the gate and teleporting to the top of the world? yep, totally happened, everyone was very impressed

a literal infinite number of police officers, and some are duplicates - ray sniping from the top of a building only to pause and go “hey, guys, theres twin officers - no wait, triplets, they all look the same!!”

eating food and healing

stumbling and falling down mountains really easily and shouting at their own bodies to stop being so fucking dumb

doing stunts on a motorbike, flipping upside down and holding it at such an angle they fly off into the sky

cars getting the slightest bit wet and suddenly they dont work

trying to escape from the police boats in the ocean and geoff falling out, only to drop through the water and land on the sea floor. the rest of the crew tries to follow upon realising it was a glitch but are teleported to the beach instead, meanwhile geoff is still stuck on the ocean floor

being set on fire, surviving, and getting up perfectly healthy

falling immeasurably far distances only to glitch out and stand up perfectly unharmed

being one-punched

broken leg? got run over multiple times? just get a health pack and youll be good as new!