The Ontology of Realness

Stuff I like, collected in one place

[percyhoneybee]

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

[gender-euphowrya]

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES thanks for the tip karkat

[heinous-dave-blog]

reference

[tacomablue-deactivated20190305]

[vintageblackglamour]

Octavia Butler: "I’m comfortably asocial — a hermit in the middle of a large city, a pessimist if I’m not careful, a feminist, a Black, a former Baptist, an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, insecurity, certainty and drive."

[enieslobbie]

[minervastarstruck-deactivated20]

That last gif omg XD

[cat-shaming]

Please help signal boost this, for anyone in the area of Fredericksburg, Va!

From the Fredericksburg Regional SPCA: Starting July 1, we are having a special on adoptions of black or black & white cats! For the adoption of one black or black & white cat, you can get another cat, of any color, free! For reasons unknown, black or predominantly black kitties are often overlooked in shelters. But we know that they make wonderful, loving companions and are hoping you will give them a chance! Throughout the summer, please come and visit our black feline friends and see if you fall in love!

[complexcosmos-deactivated201903]

[tastefullyoffensive]

‘Stuff My Guinea Pig Does’ [via]

[vintageblackglamour]

Billie Holiday, photographed by Carl Van Vechten in 1949. One of my favorite scholars, Columbia University professor Farah Jasmine Griffin, noted the following in her book, “If You Can’t Be Free, Be a Mystery: In Search of Billie Holiday: “The photographer remembers photographing her for two hours, and while she was initially despondent, she returned from a brief sojourn “on a different plane, all energy, sympathy, cooperation and interest.” Photo: Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library

[humansofnewyork]

“Society undervalues creativity. Many people think creativity just means decorating your room well, or choosing the right colors for your clothes. In reality, creativity is what underlies all change. Without creativity, the world would be stagnant.”

[animal-e]

[soulist-aurora]

PLEASE HELP US!!!!!! REBLOG THIS!!!! I found it. Korea time this June 19, 2013.

[gamechangershow]

[moxiefashionista]

Russell Brand Mocks MSNBC on MSNBC

It’s not really news, innit?

[suzukaze-aoba]

How to block Sponsored Posts on your Dashboard

Tumblr has recently introduced Sponsored Posts. These posts can come from anyone, regardless of whether or not you follow them, and are primarily for advertising. If you want to block them, simply install Tumblr Savior and blacklist “sponsored_badge_icon” (without the quotes).

[seraphica]

Out of Print Tee Shirts are awesome - not only can you wear the cover of classic novels, but each shirt purchased provides a book to a community in need, and supports literacy programs in the US.

[captawesomesauce]

I dunno… I still think little kids are evil and dangerous no matter how you raise them. Frankly, they scare me and I’m not opposed to banning children across the world outright. Maybe we should just stick to cats and dogs after all, they’re much safer, more loyal, less expensive and just all around better.

[theontologyofrealness]

*hysterical laughter*

[humansofnewyork]

“What’s your favorite thing about your sister?” “She’s my friend.”

[randonesia-deactivated20240930]

Me in front of the world’s largest praying hands, in front of Oral Roberts University, Tulsa, Oklahoma. Oral Roberts was my FAVORITE televangelist. He made all sorts of wacky claims, including being able to RAISE THE DEAD, and of course, the infamous 900 FOOT TALL JESUS who came to him in a vision. (he also later saw a 640 foot Christ- Oral liked his Jesus’s BIG) Oral got real rich off of gullible people- once he said in January of 1987 that if he didn’t raise 8 million bucks by March, THE LORD HIMSELF was going to “call him home”. March arrived and he had 9.1 milli in the bank! Way to fund raise, Oral! You would like to think that these are giant, strong, Mom-and-apple pie AMERICAN HANDS, but Oral had this, the world’s largest bronze sculpture, cast in Juarez, Mexico. Outsourcing Christ, the American way! Oh, Senõr Oral- WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!

[theontologyofrealness]

Outsourcing Christ...

[so-elegantly-disheveled]

[theontologyofrealness]

I woke him up just so I could do that to him. It's probably for the best that I don't have any human children.