Kill The Lights

Minnesota | '90 | she/her You can call me Seraphica, Sera, Suzuka, Suz, or whatever else strikes your fancy. If I ever share a post or comment that is insensitive or needs correction, please let me know!

[junk-thunder]

so we know that humans share 50% of their dna with bananas. and also, they say one in four humans are related to genghis khan. using this information, we can determine that genghis khan was 200% banana

[uhuh100]

this is how political statistics work I think

[slipping-into-madness]

[puddox]

Visit Original Link

[ccstcrptc]

Demi’s twin sister. She was locked in a basement her whole life. This picture was taken the first time she went outside. Her name is Poot.

[dogsuffrage]

I remember people talking about how this post was problematic because people actually get locked in basements and therefore finding this funny makes you a bad person. And I lowkey agreed

[paleolithique]

i need people to know that demi dressed up as poot for halloween this year

[teaboot]

I just had a physical exam today and I haven’t done the little knee hammer reflex test since I was like four years old so I was just like “yeah it’ll just make me flinch or whatever nbd” but when the doctor actually DID it my whole ass leg fucking launched into the air like I was David fucking Beckham. She didn’t even give me a second to recover either, I was gripping onto the exam table for dear life like “oh my god I’m so sorry” and WHAM she nails the other one. My entire body jolts as my foot flies three feet in the air and she twirls out of the trajectory of a five toe death kick to the groin like a capoeira master and just says “you have very brisk reflexes”. Like miss ma’am with the PHD didn’t just Ratitouille my whole shit. Like respectfully your honour you just played my skeleton like a piano, what the hell

[rhapsodybenny]

[wizardarchetypes]

when i was a kid there was this guy in my neighborhood named Jerry. he was 100 years old for my entire childhood. his house was up on a hill and he had a big porch he sat on all day from sun up to sundown. his front door was always open if it wasn't too cold out and there was a big old fridge/freezer right inside where he kept orange crush in glass bottles and freeze-pops.

kids were allowed to walk right into his house and get treats from the fridge but the rule is we had to sit on the porch while we ate the popsicles or drank the pop and this is how he got us to listen to him talk about random stuff all day.

if parents needed to find us bc we failed to come home when we were supposed to they called him and he could send other kids out looking for us. it'd be like in the creek some other 8 year old would tell you "hey your mom called Jerry. youre supposed to be home."

if you were home sick from school and your parents worked he'd watch you for free & everyone looked out for him. i spent a lot of days napping on his couch when i was little.

idk i know i couldn't be a full-time parent so that's my ideal role in a community one day. old guy babysitter with a porch.

[borderlinereminders]

The other day, I asked my partner, “What are you doing?”

Simple question, right?

Except… he suddenly got defensive. His tone changed. I could feel tension building, and I had no idea why. So I took a breath and asked, “Wait, what did you hear me say?”

He paused, thought about it, and said, “I thought you meant ‘Why aren’t you doing anything?’ Like you were mad I was being lazy.”

But that wasn’t what I meant at all. I’d genuinely just been curious.

And that moment reminded me how easily things can go sideways when we assume intent. Our brains, especially when we’ve had messy pasts, trauma, or relationship anxiety, tend to fill in the blanks with the worst possible meaning.

But that one question, “What did you hear me say?”, turned what could’ve been an argument into understanding.

It gave both of us a chance to clarify before our brains made up a story that wasn’t true. I was able to explain, and he was able to listen. Understanding what I meant changed his tension entirely.

Sometimes the fight isn’t about what was said. It’s about what was heard.

“What did you hear me say?” can defuse a storm before it starts.

[kisskisscantfallinlove]

"people are allowed to be grossed out"

ok. keep it to yourself. it's the polite thing to do. if i'm not enjoying food someone made, that i get to eat for free, i'm not gonna shit all over their cooking and personal tastes

[moonflower-rose]

My mother used to make a gorgeous chocolate mousse from scratch, and it was something she brought to every family event, and made for events we had at our house. She got the recipe in like 1989 and so it was upwards of six mousses per year and the whole fam looked forward to them.

Then one year at Easter something went wrong and the chocolate separated and the mousse was weird looking and a bit odd tasting (not inedible, just odd) and my cousin (who was only about 12 to be fair) ate his bowl while loudly proclaiming MY GOD THIS IS NOT GOOD AUNTIE D and WHAT DID YOU DO and THIS IS HORRIBLE and on the one hand we all laughed (inc mum) because it was so unfiltered and rude and he kept eating it even as he proclaimed it an abomination, and 20ish years later we still have a laugh about it.

But mum never made mousse for a family event again and didn’t even want to do it just for us kids or dad. She was really embarrassed and she lost her confidence.

My cousin didn’t need to say it. Mum knew it hadn’t turned out right. She brought it anyway because we’d told her she should and she didn’t want to disappoint anyone because this was so looked forward to by everyone. Maybe he was only 12 and didn’t know how to have any tact.

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS before you provide your ‘feedback’ on fanworks. You could be the reason some poor person never makes anything again, or at least never shares it with the community. Don’t whatabout the people who invite concrit me - just fucking have a think before you comment, okay?

Also fuck you Danny, I could’ve been eating mousse for 25 years if it weren’t for you!

[herssian]

"there is no way you're not using chatgpt for at least a few things here and there no matter your stance on it" what the FUCK are you talking about

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[ocean-again]

sound on, they are not singing the tune you would expect.

[lipglosswearer]

why aren’t all mugs microwave safe. grow up.

[pancakeke]

[bathroomcube]

berries go bad so fast because they are born evil unfortunately

[seraphica]

Vermont State University has awarded an honorary Doctorate of Litter-ature to a cat named Max.

[qualitysigns]

Nolde Forest, Reading, Pennsylvania, USA

[antigonickpdf]

overheard in the coffee shop from a middle aged gay man to his (female) friend: “are you embarrassed? about being foolish? please manage yourself better in this situation. this man is not behaving as if he is interested in you.”

[antigonickpdf]

“he’s evil. like jeff bezos. Do you understand.” and she’s just nodding with eyes downcast in shame

[antigonickpdf]

meanwhile some influencer is filming a mukbang three feet away. he’s wearing a domo hat exactly like this one but it’s neon blue and he’s slurping loudly over the idiot sandwich lecture happening nearby

[antigonickpdf]

i forgot to add this until now but after the gay guy was done scolding his friend and they left, their table was taken up by an aging european twink telling a wealthy-looking bubbe with increasing distress about how much cold cut meat he’d eaten the night before and the funnier she found it the more distraught he got about his nighttime deli frenzy

[antigonickpdf]

he was like [completely unidentifiable european accent] after you went to bed. i ate ze ham. and ze mortadella also… and. also the prosciutto. no stop giggling at me zis is not funny it was 500 grams each. i ate 500 grams of ze ham and 500 grams of ze mortadella and 500 grams of ze prosciutto and that is ONE POINT FIVE KILOGRAMS OF MEAT !! I ate so many meats!!! Stop giggling at me i am going to be fat!!!! I even ate ze cheeses!!!

[clubhoops]

Happy Pride.

[hidefdoritos]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

Go for the bigger blanket.

Are you thinking of making or buying a blanket? There is no universe in which you will want a smaller blanket. Meanwhile, you have free will, and you can choose this universe to have a bigger blanket. Your potential to snuggle will unlimited by the boundaries of simple cloth.

Go for the bigger blanket.

[i-am-a-fan]

(losing a trinket important to me): it’s just plastic. It’s just material. Someone else will find it and it’ll brighten up their day. If i really want to i can replace it. Loss is natural in love. Life isn’t fair and i’ll tear up earth and sky if i knew i could find you again under the covers of my pillows. But like, it’s $16.67 to replace. I’m okay.

[i-am-a-fan]

you have to realize that you CAN keep everything perfect and safe, but you’ll never get to fully enjoy them. Sweaters get stretched. Stuffed animals get worn. Earrings get lost. and love turns to grief. If i want to be happy, i have to know that sadness is the little brother who holds her hand.

[i-am-a-fan]

Nvm. Trinket was found and i’m now keeping it locked up forever so i can’t ever lose it again