The Optimistic Athlete @theoptimisticathlete - Tumblr Blog

“Let this be the year you go after courage.”

“I trained.” I said that to my running pal last week and felt a wave of relief. I trained, consistently, for the past 16 weeks, and when you’ve done the work, that’s something those nagging fears that creep into our minds can never take away from us. I trained for a marathon to fall in love with running again, and that’s something no higher mileage hectic weekends busy work weeks pacing practice faltered tempos strength training cross training rest days competition past PRs future goals expectations what if’s what’s possible’s can take away from me. I trained, to run unbothered through the uncomfortable, and that’s something no taper scaries hydration fueling travel exhaustion back pain foot pain chafing discomfort unplanned factors race day nutrition race day weather race day anxieties excuses can take away from me.

I trained. I ran 500 miles and fell in love with running again along the way. So now I think it’s time for a victory lap: just 26.2 to go. 🤩 #unbothered (at Boston, Massachusetts) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpcC34xFymF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10jc1t3nxwalg

Looks like it’s been about a year from my last post, that’s pretty evident of how my year has gone as far as health and wellness stuff.

I took on a huge work opportunity last Spring that demanded all of my energy and willpower, followed by another opportunity to travel across the globe for two months, also quite stressful and demanding but pretty freaking awesome.

I don’t regret throwing myself into my work and all the good things that have come from that, even though I didn’t quite have my mental headspace all worked out to handle the anxiety of being in a leadership position and the imposter syndrome and all of that. I jumped off the cliff and built my parachute on the way down.

But now that I’ve gotten the hang of things and am gliding along with all of that, I’m ready to put some more focus into my body and mental/physical fitness. I’ve got big goals, #1 is to get back down to a more comfortable weight. #2 is some kind of endurance event: part of me wants to be super crazy and go for an ultramarathon, another part of me is still eyeing that half ironman, and probably the more sane part of me would be happy with a half marathon, focusing more on building strength. And #3, I want to get back to throwing around heavy weight and having something to show for that strength. Crossfit’s probably (finally) in the cards after I move in April, since I’m hesitant to start now and then have to start over at a new box then, but I’m giving myself the next month to get my fitness routine worked out, and if it’s not working I’ll try something new.

So, watch this space.

Lately I’ve been embracing the fact that January is not the best time for New Years resolutions: April is. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been trying to get some momentum going.

I’m starting to do 5:2 intermittent fasting on top of my 16/8 daily split, since IF worked wonderfully to get me down 50lbs in 6 months last year, but hasn’t been as feasible in my new work environment (I used to have a quite small eating window between 3-5ish and 8, and now I just can’t get away with eating any later than 1 most days, due to social pressure).

I’m trying out Lifesum to see if it helps me eat more quality foods, and so far, it has gotten me to incorporate more fruits, veggies, and protein, and less processed foods. The downside is that I really hate calorie counting/tracking.

I was getting better with morning workouts, until I had a really crazy past two weeks at work. I still need to get better with afternoon lifts.

I’m starting to spend more time reflecting, with two new journals going. I want to get back to posting more on here as well and engaging with the wonderful community.

Looking forward, I’m excited to be moving in April and reaquiring a car, which should allow me to more easily access the climbing gym, go on more adventures, etc. I’m looking to move to Alexandria, VA with one of my roommates that I’m pretty close with, and the neighborhood is a wonderful spot for being more active, as there are bike/running paths right around the apartments I’m looking at (that connect to the same paths I used all summer to train for my tri), the climbing gym is a straight shot on bike paths and 1-2 metro stops, and getting down to the National Harbor for open water swimming is just 5 miles also on bike paths. I’ll have access to better grocery options (instead of just the Safeway across my street, which has pretty abysmal “perimeter of the store” offerings...). If I can swing it financially, I might try to get involved with Crossfit, which I know I’ll do somehow someday in my life, since my body is made to move heavy things.

But for now, I’m enjoying taking a Friday off from work due to all the extra hours I built up. I want to spend some time today relaxing, reflecting, and setting the tone for a productive weekend.

There's something so oddly satisfying about starting back up with healthy habits days BEFORE Thanksgiving/the holiday season, and then heading into New Years with a bit of momentum, and knowing that lots of the hard parts are behind you (starting, holiday season, etc)

Cooked up a big batch of turkey soup with Friendsgiving leftovers + bone broth I made yesterday, and a ton of roasted veggies. Staying local was a perfect opportunity for me to recharge, reset, and refocus my energy as I approach a stressful month of work before Christmas. Crossing my fingers that I can keep these habits rolling and snowballing.

Long work day yesterday= short workout. This felt damn good to knock out.

Stress and Recovery

I’ve been reading Steve Magness and Brad Stulberg’s book Peak Performance (which I highly recommend for all athletes and washed-up-athletes-turned-real-world-zombies like myself), and one of the key takeaways I’ve been holding onto is the idea of stress and recovery. Achieving and keeping that balance intact is pretty well-known among athletes as the key to sustained growth, but applying that philosophy outside of the athletic realm is something I haven’t encountered as often, and it’s been intriguing to me lately.

As I go through these first few weeks in my new office and struggle mightily, trying to learn and fit in while not letting anxiety and fear overwhelm me, I remind myself of this growth cycle: stress and recovery, in both the macro and micro sense. I chose this office to challenge myself so that I could develop skills that I knew I lacked and do things that I wasn’t comfortable with so that in the future I could have that many fewer weaknesses. So, self-imposed stress. The goal is eventually to become comfortable with these things, and with the people and processes that come with any new office like I have done in my previous two tours. Recovery.

On a micro level, Monday on week 3 entailed passing up the opportunity to brief something at a meeting, realizing I screwed up, trying to redeem myself by briefing it at another meeting, and not doing a very good job with it. Stress. Monday night involved a high-intensity workout, a bit of reading, and a longish meditation session. Recovery.

#not sure if any of that made sense #just struggling through this adulting thing like every other millenial #I hate that term

Very quickly getting my running mojo back, just as I had hoped. These miles went by super quickly, and the last few felt just as easy as the first ones. I'm getting a little more optimistic now about the possibility of a late fall half marathon. Side note: I run the "straight to monument" segment maybe every other time I go for a run (I've been doing the gravel path near the grass on the mall more frequently which doesn't count as that segment), as all my runs except for Hill sprints involve getting at least from the Capitol to the Monument before branching off, and today I got a solid 20ish second surprise PR without even trying. Definitely a good day.

Finishing off the week with a short, slow, hot, yet stupidly not sweaty run. Beta blockers + exercise + heat is an even worse combination than normal.

More detail to come, but 3:26:20 first triathlon ever, olympic distance, in the books. 4 minutes under my moonshot goal of sub-3:30, which I learned during the race is actually ridiculously slow. The sense of accomplishment has set in more as the day goes on, once the shock of being passed so damn much on the bike and being in the very back of the pack upon starting the run has worn off.

1.5-2 years ago, I often couldn’t finish simple 40-45 minute workouts, struggling with this stupid neverending headache problem. Today, despite making no progress on that front, my adjustments in how I mentally handle the pain and my progress in being able to train through it allowed me to finish this beast of a race. I’m going to keep reminding myself that’s what matters a hell of a lot more than my placing in the race.

Bike is racked, swim course is set up, and flat Emily is done (for the most part, with some additional extras like the gels I probably won't use). Focused now on cooking up a good dinner, (once my roommate finishes up in the kitchen...), doing a little last-minute mobility work, and relaxing. I'm fully expecting to screw up a billion things and have all the newbie moments throughout the race so I'm not going to waste too much energy on trying to make things perfect. The sole focus is putting in a solid effort, with a goal of finishing feeling accomplished.

The final puzzle piece: improved my VO2 max from 42 to 43 on my 4.5 mile run this morning... That was actually a brick immediately following my 20 mile bike (well, actually, bike after a 10k erg.. It was a mega workout). The first mile of the run felt predictably awful, like all of my other 1-2 mile bricks have felt, but surprisingly after that it just felt like any other run, and I was playing around with finding a hard but sustainable pace for race day. It is an adjustment for me running without music, as I get a little freaked out by my breathing and all. It's something I did a lot more of in college so I know I just need to practice a little more with it. Feeling more confident with 6 days to go, now that I've done the full swim followed by a bike, and nearly the full bike followed by this run.

Made it out for sunset open water swim despite dreading it, and had a great swim. They set up the 550m course, so did 3 laps of that continuous. I got into a good rhythm and actually felt like I was getting run off of my strokes, and it felt more like an easy steady state effort than a hard race simulation, so I was surprised to see that my pace was significantly faster than Sunday. Seems like a sign that the practice is helping, so I'll likely go again this Sunday. Also got a hard bike in on the way there, as I was running late with DC traffic and had to race the clock for check-in. I also realized, while riding and seeing high bike HRs that I've been struggling to hit, that I've always programmed my long bike days the day after long run days, when it would've been the other way around. So basically, my legs being dead from the run the day before was often a limiting factor on working harder on rides, whereas it hasn't been on runs where it should be. Oh well, pitfalls of training without a plan. Learning lots as I go, to apply if I ever want to keep going with this and do a half Ironman or something.

Spent the rest of the day yesterday and all of the work day today with probably my worst headache days in quite a long time, and on top of that had a super disappointing and frustrating work day. Probably a byproduct of being very burnt out from all the long hours last week, not getting credit for doing all the work on the project, etc. Anyways, getting excited to rotate teams in about a month now, just need to nail down the details.

Decided I needed a rest day, and snuggled up with some m&ms because omg dark chocolate peanut AND caramel?! But then eventually got restless and inspired and felt like a quick 20 min recovery run might be productive, so hopped on the treadmill, and somehow decided after I couldn’t keep my HR under control during the 1st mile in zone 2 that I might as well do some faster paced/tempoish work, so did a 1.5 mile progression to see how high I could get my HR and how long I could hold it there. I think I ended at a 6:45 pace, HR 187. Really, I think every time I do workouts like these I’m just questioning how I could hold a HR 195 for a 7+ min 2k on the erg, or a HR 180 for 30 mins of X-Factor stairs (also bringing up that workout file brings up all sorts of questions... college athletes, I promise you won’t appreciate the shape you’re in as much as after you escape the bubble of high expectations and enter the normal world)

Did a “playground/vanity” lift day as a bonus on top of my regularly scheduled programming, which for me means hitting those back muscles that are finally starting to show, plus those wicked hard one-legged snatches that I see literally every pro runner do effortlessly (so it means it must make you fast, right?) and some other stability-related stuff to address some weaknesses.

I’m marking this one in the books as a-time-I-turned-a-no-good-day-into-a-mediocre-day, and hoping I can use some of that momentum to carry me into some good vibes tomorrow.

Finally "did the thing" and went to an open water swim clinic specifically planned for first-time triathletes for my tri. It was 30 mins of going over helpful hints for race day, followed by "ok, let's do a practice start in waves of 5, line up. Make sure you do some hard strokes to clear out for the next wave." So yeah, I went hard and died the rest of the 200m, regretted all the swimming I haven't done up until now, plotted how to cram some before race day, etc. We come back in, I ask about the whole hard strokes thing, the other instructor says screw it, think about taking it easy, and then go even easier. I do my second start and go around the big 300m loop, it feels a lot better. The next one feels even better, and I keep getting into a groove and feeling less tired while getting faster. Finish off with two loops (600m) feeling like I could keep going for a while. Hopped straight back on the bike for nearly 13 miles back home as a good race day simulation, making sure to wear and test out the gear, how it will feel biking wet, etc. The bike felt rough, but I think I'm pretty worn out from the run yesterday, plus I'm sick of always biking with a huge backpack on with a lock and shoes and gear and whatever else. Regardless, I completed 2/3 of my tri today (though with breaks), and I'm gaining confidence at the right time.

Sometimes, progress comes in big huge leaps and bounds, here and there. Went out to do a shorter long run on the run course for my tri, and was feeling really good so I pushed the pace a little especially on the last mile, and ended up with a 6 minute 10k PR and season-bests for the 1 mile, 2 mile, and 5k. It felt really effortless, strong, and controlled, and I'm feeling so much more confident for my race in 2 weeks than I was yesterday, after a hell week of work where I barely got any workouts in. My pace for the whole run was 1 min/mile faster than ever, and I felt like I could've kept going once I finished (just probably at a little slower pace).

Sometimes you leave the house feeling like crap and have what you think is a pretty awful run (aside from witnessing an epic Capitol Park police takedown of a thief trying to escape on a bike), only to get back and look at the Strava splits and realize that you ran 8:30 min mile paces on Capitol Hill sprints at a 5% incline, for sub-7 min mile grade adjusted pace paces. Maybe if I had known that mid-run I would’ve pushed on and done more of them, but next time. I’ll settle with my mediocre day of little morning erg, little afternoon hill run, little night lift.

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