The Optimistic New Yorker

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

9 years ago, S and I met in person after talking on Coffee Meets Bagel (dating app). This is a recap of our first date: we met on a Friday night at a bar and i had double booked another date after his. We were supposed to meet at 6 pm and I had a date after at 8:30 pm. He texted me around 5 to let me know that he will be half an hour late because he had something urgent to finish at work. I was shopping in Anthropologie at the time since I got out of work at 5 and I was a bit annoyed but I still said ok. We met and we were kicked out around 8 because there was a private alumni reunion event, but we had such great convo that we went to another bar and then another one after. I had texted the second guy I was not feeling well and couldn’t make the date already while we were at the first bar. S later told me that at the second bar when he went to the bathroom, he thought to himself that this was it, he’s going to marry me. We went to the third bar and by the time we left (we were both pretty buzzed) it was past 12 am and I asked (which I had never done before) to go over to his place. We hung out and he asked when we will see each other again and I told him let’s meet tomorrow, and he was saying that this can’t be real and I told him that we clearly have chemistry so why are we trying to play games. And turns out he had a bumble date planned for the following day, which he ended up canceling. I ended up leaving around 3 am and when I got home, I found out someone had messaged me on facebook and it was him. He told me he lost his phone during the night and thankfully we exchanged last names and he found me on Facebook to let me know. If he hadn’t done this and I texted him in the morning I would’ve definitely thought he ghosted me. Then the following morning he went to work to get his work phone so he could text me and then we had a brunch date and I ended up finding his phone. He thought it was a lost cause but I kept trying to call it and someone picked up and told us they found it in the taxi and we picked it up from them! And now 9 years later, we have 2 kids 😊 i used go on a lot of dates and when you know, you know.

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

My mom went to Abu Dhabi to take care of me postpartum and the relief and emotions she had when she got back to the U.S. (after the events of the past 2 weeks in the Middle East) made me almost cry myself 🥹

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

When my 23 month old son was 7 months old, we decided to sleep train him, but even after a year, he would still cry/whine for a minute when we put him down. Once I became pregnant and my husband took over putting him to bed, he started having O fall asleep in our bed and then carrying him over to the crib around 15 min after he falls asleep and it has worked really well. Tonight was one of the few nights when I’ve put him to sleep in our bed and oh my heart, he was singing ABCs, twinkle twinkle little star, head shoulders knees and toes, and when I asked him about his day, he said “Good day, went on bike, ate yogurt, play with Dylan (I assume his friend)” and then shortly after he just fell asleep 🥹

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

I still am a bit hormonal but jeez the difference between how I felt postpartum between my 1st and my 2nd seems to be night and day. I was so overwhelmed with my 1st and I don’t feel like I truly appreciated the newborn phase until this time (and I assume expecting this to be my last child plays a role in it as well). However, I recall friends texting me last time asking how I was doing and I just did not want to respond to them but this time around, I am just texting friends all day haha. And I recall my son just wanting to be on my breast for what felt like 24/7 and I have to admit I did feel a bit of rage a couple times when it just felt never ending. My daughter does seem to overall be a chiller newborn than my son but I don’t have these rage-type feelings. It’s quite interesting how hormones can affect someone.

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

Becoming a mom made me love my mom so much more (and I already love her a lot) and it made me really want a girl so that I can be there for her when she becomes a mom 🥹

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

Birth Story

Had my baby girl at 40+5 on Wednesday, 4 February, at 3:53 am. I was scheduled for an induction on Wednesday at 4 pm, but instead, on Tuesday, I started feeling mild contractions and I had an appointment with my ob and she was finally able to give me a sweep. I was 2 cm dilated by then. That night around 6 pm I started having contractions every 3 min or so. We put O to bed then had dinner and ventured off to the hospital at 8 pm and they admitted us since I was already 4 cm dilated at that point. In labor and delivery, I got an epidural at 12 am since my contractions felt more intense and at 1 am, I was still only 4-5 cm so the midwife broke my waters and at 2 am I was 6 cm so then they started low dose pitocin since my contractions were only 2-3 every 10 min and at 3 am I was 10 cm and the midwife called my Dr to let her know to come and she got there around 3:30 am at which point I started pushing immediately after. My doctor made sure my hubby got the video of her coming out so by the time my hubby got to recording, I only needed to cough to deliver her and she had me pull her out, which was so memorable 🥹 my last birth experience was overall good (minus 2 days of contractions, but I had the same ob and I love her) but this experience was even better 🥰

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

40+2 and still no signs of labor 🙃 did not think I’d have a February baby lol

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

My MIL got O this Montessori Christmas tree and I think I had the most fun decorating it hahaha. We didn’t buy a tree this year and now that we’ve hung this up on the wall, this will do the job!

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

Am I ready for the newborn life even though it was only 1.5 years ago that I experienced it? No, certainly not.

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

We live in probably the nicest area in Abu Dhabi and we moved into our current 2 bed 2 years ago as the first tenants in this apartment and we have private beach access. When we moved, we paid approximately $3,500 a month and they can only increase up to 5% annually. Our friends who are interested in moving here now were looking at prices and our 2 bed is now $6,800 a month…that’s like double what we pay…so my husband now jokes that we are in subsidized housing 🤣

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

My manager is interesting…so a member of my team left and I organized a giftcard for her farewell. My manager says he’ll contribute 200 AED (~$55) and I told him ok I’ll share my bank details. He doesn’t give me cash and I forget about it until a few weeks later and I send him my bank details. He texts me back immediately saying that he’ll give me cash…then the next day he hands me a $100 bill and he’s like I meant to give you this and I’m like I don’t have change and he’s like no you keep it…so guess what? I kept it lol

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

Had to do the glucose test a day earlier so that I could also see my Dr in between and thankfully the worst part was drinking it, but I felt fine after 🙏 now time for McDonald’s! 😄

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

I have the glucose test this Friday and am absolutely dreading it…been dreading it since 6 weeks pregnant 🥲

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

The hubs and I are going to Switzerland (flying into Milan and driving to the Italian part) for 48 hours for a friend’s wedding without our baby for the first time…I’m going to miss him but also I get to listen to my AirPods again on the plane and I get to sleep in 😁

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

Shower thoughts

6 months before becoming pregnant with my first child, I was diagnosed with a labrum tear in my right hip and if it wasn’t for having a wonderful, conservative ortho surgeon, I would’ve done surgery. At the time I mentioned to him that we had plans to start a family soon and he said I shouldn’t let the labrum tear stop me, starting a family was more important and as long as I was willing to change my workout routines (no more HIIT workouts, but reformer instead). I fully remember thinking to myself when I was initially diagnosed that I was definitely going to get a surgery and have to heal for up to a year. I went through my first pregnancy with 0 hip issues and here I am almost 2 years later pregnant with my second and fingers crossed 0 hip issues again. I probably will need to do surgery at some point down the road since the tear won’t heal itself, but for now, I’m pretty content. It’s crazy that if it wasn’t for him, I’d probably only be having my first child now.

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

Whisper post

[theoptimisticnewyorker]

My ex-manager left last week and started reaching out the week she left and this past week called me to tell me to apply for the role she’s hiring and proceeded to share her CV with me to ask me to replicate it for the role and told me she’d prep me for the interview in advance. I know she’s desperate and I made sure to tell her I would need a 25% increase on my total salary, which she said would be fine. However, I have many reasons for not wanting to go - no remote working, 30 min away from my home vs 10 min, having to drive everyday, feels more formal and corporate than my current environment, systems are not setup so there will be a lot to do and of course a learning curve, and last but not least, we are trying to get pregnant and by the time I would be able to join (since I have a 3 month notice) would be at least in October, and I don’t want to be in a position where I am taking maternity leave shortly after joining along with not having the maternity benefits I would have at my current employer. I don’t want to burn bridges with my ex-manager because I think at some point I might actually want to go, so I think I will tell her due to family planning reasons, I don’t think I am able to proceed with this opportunity at this time.