"Look at this ice Rogal. Look how clean, how shiny, how perfect it Look. Qell, it's dangerous. Can you see the crack appearing when i put pressure on a small spot? It means this ice is thin and dangerous. This lesson shall be used for many subjects,so never forget how fragile and deceptive is beauty."
His grandfather words came as a gust of Wind on a muggy day, suddenly and yet on time.
He had saw you three times, he had counted, and this was the third. The first one was the day of your presentation to him and his brothers, a show off from the pettiest of them,a way from Perturabo to parade the most beautifull woman in the entiee galaxy.
Presumptuous he had thought.
When he saw you entering the room almost dragged by his brother he could think so little of you, that's why he studied you from your first step to the bow you made in front of the Emperor. Everybody congratulated with Perturabo while he basked in the praises of this accomplishment, all while Rogal could only look at your meek nature, to the few words you were able to express, to your body holding itself because no one could.
"She look miserable."
People gasped, Guilliman coughed, Horus called him back while Magnsubtried to distract the sudden rise of rage from Perturabo.
He didn't said anything it wasn't true ,you looked like you wanted to cry, you looked miserable. And yet he was the insensible, the one that look to a newly bride and say she looks miserable.
The second time was durinf a celebration of a new victoria. He remembered you close to one of your husband son, the distance made for the eye and not because they needed to protect you as their legion mother, looking scared, worried, observing how Perturabo was trying to prove that he was the better option for the rebuilt of a new colony, that he deserved that position. And he also remembered how you looked terrified when ,after the rejection of their father, Perturabo stormed our the room.
Now you, even if the veil of fear and worry still lingered, all that Rogal could see was tiredness. From what he could only guess, but he knew that the damages that has been done were deep.
His eyes darted from you to Alexis, the captain that he had sent to retrieve, to the communication that still lay flat under his gaze. A request, a pray, one made by a man under one that jad teached them to be like iron, unmoved, cold like ice and to never bend.
I beg of you to guarantee her right of asylum.
Barabas, a demoted captain, one that should have done everything to gain back his father respect, had presented this request.
He will kill her. She have no protection. No one can stand between her and my Lord. Everyone except you. So please, allow this request of mine to be at least considered.
He cpuld had ignored it. He could had left the message where it was, ifnoring everything knowing of what could had leaded him. Instead...instead you were there.
And he didn't know why.
"I-" you gulped, trying to speak even if it sounded like a whisper. "I wish to not trouble you too much, my lord..."
"You don't, something else is." He said, starnly, immediate and controlled.
"...I don't-"
"You'll stay under my banner. My inner sanctum will be yours untill a solution is found."
"Y-your private-..."
"...too many people know you." He tried to explain, noticing just know how confusinf his order was. "Untill we can fix this situation it would be wise for you to not be seen around. The Serf will be arranged, people I Trust will be in charge."
"...I'm sorry for the deep trouble..."
You apologized too much...
///
During his younger age, stories of monsters that lurks under the ice, demons from the deep and ghosts weren't unusual. He never believed in them, without a proof then nothing was there waiting for him to make a mistake, so he was known to be the bravest among other children. He wasn't, he was just more practical.
On the other hand, he had started to believe that ghosts do existed, but they were not the souls of the deads.
You were almost invisible, unnoticeable to everyone except for the ones thay dared to search for you.
When the door of the room that he had made for you closed behind you he had noticed that only his personal staff had always opened it, allowing food to move inside and the tray of the previous meal to be returned. You, on the other hand, refused every kind of interaction with the outside world. He wasn't even sure you were in that room sometimes, if you were still resided there or had disappeared from his walls that he had assured you would keep you safe. His only proofs of your presence in that room were the tray, those soft thank you and the sound of a beating heart that seemed more interested in disappear.
He didn't blamed you. He couldn't understand, but he could hodl the weight you were carrying.
Sometime he pictured you there, in that room, alone...
...Were you dressed correctly for the coldness of Inwitt?
This thought came one day, while hearing once again teh serf bringing the wood for the fire, looking concerned. Olyumpian dressed were always admirable for their beauty, one thing he couldn't completely understand his nephew and brother was the omission of thei presence during banquets or political meetings, yet they were far lighter than he expected. The material was light, made for a planet that lived in a far more acceptable condition, not for one that had always been covered ina thick strate of ice and storms.
He told you that, in any circumstances, to make sure to voice yuor needs and requests, yet he wasn't sure he had saw any blankets or furr entering those doors. Maybe it was a sense of curiosity, maybe that voice it kept pestering him since your arrival, yet his hand meet the door, a soft knock echoed behind. It didn't not opened but a few inches, but he could see the features of your face from the shadows of the room.
"...Y...yes?"
"Are you dressed up correctly?"
You blinked your eyes, taken aback. He stopped, thinked, then refrased.
"These rooms can be cold. Olympian dresses may not be functional for this enviroment."
"...Are you asking me...if I need anything to cover myself up?"
"Correct."
"Oh...I...well...It's....It's fine, the fire is fine."
"The fire can die out. Furrs and wool are far more effective, they can isolate from the cold and collect the heat from the fire."
"....Do you want me to accept?"
"I would like to be sure to open this door one day and not finding you frostbite, my lady."
You sighed, the door finally opened. The room was warm enough, but he had learned many time that just a fire was not enough to protect yourself from the danger of the cold. It can came slowly, make you sleep, your heart gave up even before you could fight it. And your fingers surely needed more heat than ever, and that simple blanket around you wasn't making the job.
"Thank you for your kindness."
"It's the bare minimum."
"I accept the blanket."
"...I would also like for you to not stationate too much in this room."
"Pardon me?"
"... You haven'r left these for walls in a week, my Lady. As much as I appreciate the cooperation you giving to me to secure your stay, I also worry that this seclusion may affect your mental state."
You needed to process correctly his words. Talking with Rogal Dorn was like talking with an instruction book that begged to be translated.
".....I wish..." he started, seraching the right words. "For you to...spend some time outside...doing something else than.....what were you doing there."
"But I believed that....if less people knew about me would be a better option for everyone?"
"I did said that, yet, I did not suggested total isolation."
"...Would you spend some time with me'"
"..."
You realized Rogal Dorn wrinkled his nose when he was thinking of something he couldn't completely picture the outcome.
///
Perturabo rarely had shared good words or compliment about people around him. If he found them adequated no word wasbspoken about themnor to them, when he didn't appreciated them he had vocally poned his ideas. And Rogal Dor. Was someone he had always had a word about.
He had told you that Rogal had stole the purpose he believed to be his, that he was a mediocre Artificier of the Imperium, that he had walls for arristic references. Perturabo was your husband, you believed him and followed the one rule he wanted you to follow: to not talk to Rogal Dorn.
And now, sitting across his office, observing him while he's completely obsessed over his work, you wonder how wrong he must have been.
Rogal was a man that spoke when he needed to be heard, never out of time and never too early. He used words like they were bricks, solid and never wasted on someone, made to stay and to be seen. His eyws were the ones that take everything in and stillbare able to notice the details,the small crevice of an entire structure,the flaws and the stenghts of a person like a statue.
He was also a man with his own way of thinking, following a flow rhat only he could understand and yet found a way to translated to others. Like when you saw him take out from one of the drawers in his desk some geometrical wooden fogures and started to impilate them in a series of sequences, one different from another.
"...Toy blocks?"
"Building blocks." He responded while continuing his work. "I use them to visualize my ideas, to see them in fuction. "
He did not needed to rise his gaze to notice your approach. Soft movements of cottons, the delicate footsteps, came to his ears almost like a direct whisper, thanks to his senses. His hands stopped, enough to hear how close you were allowing yourself to go, to observe.
A meter from him...a progres.
"Why not using projections?"
"...When I stare for too long the image seems to blend."
"...eyes problem?"
"No, my head just work differently. "
"Oh."
This wasn't a flaw as it wasn't a compliment for himself. It was just what it was, a concrete truth that he had long gone accepted. Everybody has accepted it and he had his job done, so why bother?
You started to staring to the blocks, they seemed almost new by the vibrants colors, yet you couldn't not notice a few signs or the bevelled angles.
"They are...were a gift, from my grandfather." He responded almost predicting your question. "He gifted them to me when I started to stay under his care, said he wanted to gave them to his future nephews but he never married."
"Ah, an heirloom then?"
"Quite. They are from long ago, they has been passed through his family from before Inwitt."
"So, you'll pass them to your children one day?"
His hands stopped working and you notice the Praetorian blushing ears.
///
It was like something was pressing against your chest and each breath it became harder to put oxygen in.
"It's not a good idea!" You breathed out, trying to turn away from the door. Rogal hand stopped you, trying to ground you back down. "You said that the less.that knew about me the better it was!"
"I do remember what I said, but I do believe that informing my captains it will help to deal with future issues." He responded with rhe same certantly that he used when explaining a new project.
"I know of your fears. You have to trust me."
"I do trust you, but-"
"You must do it now too."
He gaved you so little time to responde when the door opened.
You recognized two of the astartes in the room. With his abnormal height even outside his armor, Alexis immediately darted his face toward the door and the almost stressed expression that was painted on his face dissipated immediately, leaving him by just sighing in relief. At the center the second one that looked awfully familiar with his blond golden hair tied in a messy pony tail and decorated with a laurel and an expression that seemed unimpressed by anything. The third one reminded you of more cleaned version of the wolves unde Russ banner, his hair short couldn't hide the many scars that seemed so unnatural on an Imperial Fist. Alexis and the second one shared those blond hair that seemed to be a characteristic from theirgene-sire, while the third one shared the same stoic expression.
"It's that her? I thought she would be less pleasant."
"Quiet Fafnir." Hissed the one at the center, unsatisfied with the comment.
The one that spoke, Fafnir, rised his hands sharing a not so complacent look.
Rogal's cough called their attention back, the three immediately stood on their two feet like stone pillars, their hands on their chests.
"Rest, my sons." He rised his hand, gently guiding you inside. "This is...Lady Y/n. Captain Alexis Polux had already had the chance to met you before, of course."
You shared a timid smile when the soldier inclined his head against you, acknoweldging you.
"My first Captain, Sigismund." He then pointed to the man on the center. You noticed only then the cross against hischest, a curious shape of it, and the sword against his side. He bowed fastly and precise, one made merely to show by someone that had never learn the meaning of the act.
"First Captain?" You said remembering now the first time you met the man. "Then we met before?"
"On Terra, my Lady. I could berely speak to you before the first Captain of the fourth fourth could drag you away."
"Y-yes..." You remembered now just a mere interaction that you coudln't fully registered before Forrix intervention.
"Have your arm recovered?"
"Excuse me?"
"With that force, I assume that Kydomor had made more damage than good."
"Oh, no no I...I'm fine,thank you for your concern, my lord."
Sigismund hummed, hiding the small satisfaction in his face.
"And him-"
"Fafnir Rann, young one. Must say, you look quite..small to has been the wife of a Primarch such the Lord of Iron." He repsonde immediately, crouching down reaching your eyes. He looked exactely like he sounded, a man that know no defence beside the one that a knife can give. He sounded and moved so differently from Rogal or his brothers, yet he seemed not a threat like one you could recognize.
"...Beside not being unpleasant?" You mentioned remidning him of his previous comment. He just laughed, shrigging off the heavyness that you holded from the moment you had entered the room.
"That's quite a good trait!"
"He's the Lord Seneschal and, as you could understand, he's quite straight forward in his manners. Please, don't mind him, he's usually worst."
You tried to hold a small laugh for the comment, completely forgetting the fear you had before entering the room.
"As I explained, Lady Y/n will stay under our protection. I'll take time to entroduce her to the captains that I find fitting to hold the knowledge. I hope you can understand the risks of her presence here and my motivations on why I accepted this arrangement. I pray you can treat her as a member of this legion."
"It shall be done."
"It will be...But please, I have so many questions about the personal life of one of those unsofferable trenchs constructors."
You observed these man arguing in a way that didn't looked like anything you had seen before. They did it in front of their father, of their Primarch, wich such a tranquillity that seemed unreal and he just observed between a nod and a small comment. He did not rised his voice, he did not make them quiver in fear or rage against them like iof they had offended him in person. They did not used every chance they had to shine under their father eyes, they acted in the way they were without even forcing themself, knowing that the only way for them to be reconnized was just to be.
It felt fresh, for once.
///
Talking with Rogal started to became normal.
In front of the fore, with the warm beverage between your fingers, covered in a soft furr from a wild creature of Inwitt, everythingbstarted to became normalcy, almost needed to you.
He listened, but he also spoke giving advice, solid ones, and never out place bit exactely how they should have been. As amways, like stone for a castle.
"I should had stopped before it was too much."
You sighed out, talking about what has been like a boulder that has been bound on your ankle with a chain.
"He was young...a child. I voiced my worries but Calliphone, bless his heart, never took my words like i beg her to. I should had been more direct..."
"You couldn't predict that."
"His sudden growth? The gact that the infatuation of a chils became the obsession of a man?"
"No, that he would go that far to have you."
You sipped the beverage, a sweet concoction of herbs that Inwitt's people seems to enjoy during the colds nights.
"...I even blamed her...my friend, my beloved Calliphone..."
"It may be just a suspicion, but it ever accured to you that maybe she had intentionally allowed the union?"
Your eyes widened, lookinf at hisndirection. He stayed calm, but the idea that he may had spoked roo arshly started to dancing in his mind. Another trait you had learned of him is that, sometime, Rogal spoked with no intention to harm and yet creating such damage that could make crumble the strongests of the bastions. He imagined you defending the Lady that you had saw as a sister for so long, to accuse him of trying to picturing her like a double-face witch, that he should watch his tone. Instead he saw your eyes searching for the answer in the murky beverage, like if it could float inside.
You had suspected it, for such a long time, but never dared even to think about it like you should had. Her dismissing excuses, her constant praising on a brother that was renowned since his young age, her almost fake sadness from your broke engagement...
The fact that she was almost satisfied on your wedding...
It was there, always there, but that truth was like a stain on a dress that you tried to ignore.
"... I do not hate him."
You looked at Rogal, his back relaxed against the old armchair just like his expression, a calm and neautral one.
"As much as he think or say it, my feelings on my brother are not of hate or disdain. "
"...you did not?"
"No, not at all. I do, in fact, respect him and find his work admirable."
You coughed against the mug, taken aback from the information.
"Surprised?"
"I am?!"
"Understandable. We do have a rivalry that no other of my brother can have. Yet, I have never silenced my thoughts about his work. I had learned how to build to endure and resist, my home wasn't one for art or beauty. He, on the other hand, had not once presented a project that was below the expectations."
You listened to him, realizing that his words didn't came from a place of formal nicety, but from.tge place were he grow up. Plain and simple, true.
You observed his expression, he hold nothing against him, not in the same way Perturabo did. Every time he had opened his mouth to talk about Rogal he morfed in thw jalous creature he was, the one that has been denied what he wanted the most. Rogal... he was calm, understanding, almost with that int of admiration that he had silently holding inside and never got the chance to prove.
"He has been task woth destroy, but he also wish to preserve the beauty of the planet he had conquered. He can find what we lack and would help us in the future... and somehow I can understand your marriage..."
"How?"
"Because he wanted to protect something beautifull that he loved before someone else could have it... I'm just disappointed that he had started to do what he has been ordered to even with you."
You couldn't hide the blush, neither your wet eyes.
///
"What are those?"
He looked to the window, where the frapes of colors and lights met the ice of the surface in a silent dance.
"Aurora borealis. A atmospheric phenomenon that happen when we're hittdd by the dsolar storm close to us. It usually not dangerous."
You stared at the window, admiring the scene in front of you. Never on Olympia you were able to see something like this, not once in your life you could ever imagined to be even present for something like this.
"It's...beautifull...back at home we-"
"This kind of phenomenon are unusual in area such as your. But I presume that they did appear on your home planet as well."
The quiet of the room came back, only to be interrupted again by the click of the door window. The first thing that came was the soft gosh of cold that came like a sweet parfume. The storm outside had stopped hours ago, the clouds of ice had moved away allowing a vew of the Inwitt night sky, with its stars, the moons and that spectacle that would be covered up by the winds.
He saw you there, between the glass of the window, admiring the outside like if nothing else could had never catche dyour attention before. The warmer clothes moved along the soft blow of the wind and the shawl slighty pending to one shoulder than the other gaved you a look that he had never noticed before.
You ignored the thick snow on the parapet and your hands grabbed the old stone like making sure those lights didn't take a liking on you and decide to take you away. And he saw a glimps, the spectre of a smile that had been there for so long, that has been hiding from someone that had despertly tried to catch it.
And for once, Rogal needed to side with his brother by admitting that you were indedd the most beautifull woman in the Imperium.
///
His bed felt wrong that night. He kept on moving, trashing, searching a good position but nothing helped.
He did not needed to sleep, he was made to endure hours of work no-stop, but he found the activity far more helpfull now than to staying there fixing a paper with no idea of what to write. Because yes, the Praetorian couldn't work now, not knowing what was happening in his head and how dangerously stupid it was.
Yet, laying down had no helped him at all, because sleep cannot come when a mind is running wild like a river.
Circuling the information was silly and useless: he was indeed feelings something towards you, something that has started to developing in those few months you had started to stay under his care, where he had saw you finally regain what he believed was a life before his brother, your husband had decided that it wasn't enough. He had written down everything, like a medicae that appoint down on paper the symptoms of an illness, like if he needed to make sure that they weren't just some mirages of a over saturated mind.
He had noticed that he had started to stare at you approximately between the 10 and the 15 seconds. They may seems small amounts of time, yet they had started to became a recurring thing that lead eventually for you to notice him and him to try tp get back to work.
He had memorized many information about you and many of them are for a matter of fact details that are not valuable to him or any purpose he know. Like, what kind of purpose got the detail that you enjoy admiring the snowflakes that fall? It is not necessary, and yet that had leaded him to a long rumble in shapes, form and the time he had ctached one that was big as his grandfather hand.
He had started cunted the numbers of sketch he had made of you during some pauses, each of tghem different from the other, small changes of expression that he had saw you make and some he imagined you could do. He had counted 20 of them, but he suspect he had more in his desk.
And so so many other things he did not need and yet have and wish to never loose. And was not bothered by it.
He also knew how dangerous was getting so close towards you, especially knowing the silent ruckus that was happening between the fourth legion. Perturabo tried to hide it, to make sure no one knew, yet things do slip out especially when someone is trying to get them as close as they can do.
The lady of Iron has gone missing.
And Rogal knew that, at some point, Perturabo would had started to watch each one of his brother, because no one could steal somethign from a Primarch than another Primarch themselves.
But he did not stole you, you allowed him to help you and you accepted it.
...Why he has done that? Why cross so many lines? Sigismund asked as well and even there Rogal didn't had the correct answer.
Why help you? Why risk so much? Why getting exposed to something so dangerous as the rage of his brother?
...Karmik...
Ah...ah he almost forgot that name....he almost forgot that girl from his tribe, how she looked so jovial, especially the day of her wedding.
...But thing went wrong. Her parents stopped seeing her around, always away with that husband from another tribe, always too occupied to care for what she once has. And people talked and they were worried.
He did not remembered everything, what he had remembered was that night, when she appeared despite the storm to his grandfather in tears and covered in bruises. How he had ordered Rogal to get to the other side and to not hear what they were talking about, even when he ahd heard mostly her crying and begging his grand father to help her.
...But he could not help her, not when their tribe was at risk.
The next morning she went back and no one saw her again.
Someone said she had fallen in the ice. Someone said it was tge husband who pushed her...someone said she did it herself.
And heremmebered the guilt in hsi grandfather eyes everytime the story came back like a bubble from the deep of his mind and he remembered the remorse in his voice.
"If only I did what i could have done something..."
Ah...He had almost forgot this story...Maybe it wasn't usefull enough? Or maybe he had just wanted it to remain silent...
He smiled, looking at the ceiling, realizing that, in the end, he did accomplished one of his grandfather wishes.
And also realized that everything he was feelings right now weren't so bad.
If you're still interested in the Primarch Dad lists, how about this:
How would each primarch help their child through the loss of their mother/other parent? How would they react to suddenly being single fathers?
Thank you!
In this scenario, let's assume that the Primarch's really loved this other person and the child was born out of love.
Mortarion - Emotionally, he shuts down. For weeks, months, Mortarion goes through the motions almost like a servitor. He performs his duties just like he always has and to most people, it seems as if he's taking this really well, or maybe that he just doesn't care about the death of his spouse. The truth is, Mortarion just does not know how to handle the extreme amount of grief he's experiencing and so he's selecting to ignore it, desperately hoping that he will just tough it out.
However, this only works as long as he does not see his child, who reminds him so much of his beloved. So, he ignores them too. Avoids them. Probably sends them somewhere far away where he thinks they can work through their own grief without him getting in the way. (He thinks they will be better off without him, he wouldn't be able to comfort them anyway). And it's only once he can no longer push down his feelings, when he realizes that he needs to be there for his child and that he's abandoned them in this time of need, that it is too late. Their relationship has been irrevocably damaged and they will never look at him the same way ever again.
Fulgrim - Even when grieving, Fulgrim does his best to keep himself together. He makes no effort to hide his sorrow, tears flowing freely down his face, but he keeps his expression as composed as possible, his voice unwavering and posture immaculate even as he plans their funeral and accepts the condolences of strangers. He has to, or else he will fall apart and he's afraid he will not be able to pick himself back up again if that were to happen.
To his child, this might cause him to appear cold. They know he's grieving, just like they are, but the fact that he never allows himself to do it fully, to mourn the way he needs to, feels insincere to the memory of their other parent. And so, when he tries to be there for them, it makes them feel like they can't properly mourn either, even though Fulgrim tries his best to be supportive.
Angron - Angron is forced to grieve in his own, brutal, way. He can't express himself with tears, can't seek comfort in the company of others, the nails don't permit it. So he pours his feelings into battle, his wails of grief turning into warcries as he seeks out enemy after enemy. The battlefield becomes the shoulder he wishes he could cry on. It's only when the enemy are all dead that he finally remembers his child. And Angron almost tears the nails right out of his head out of shame right then and there. Because he forgot them. He abandoned them. They are grieving, just like him, and while Angron is used to the pain of loss, they are young. Soft. Vulnerable. Instead of being there for them he left, like a coward.
Angron races back to be at his child's side and while it is late, he does his best to be there for them. He can't offer them a shoulder to cry on but he can be a presence. And while he is not good with words, he tries so hard to express himself, to tell them what they need to, no, deserve to hear. And if they want to hit him for leaving them... He won't stop them. He'll do anything to ease the guilt gnawing at his mind.
Magnus - He tries to explain what has happened. Both to his child and to himself. By talking about it in a logical sense Magnus does not have to focus on the way his soul feels like it is tearing itself in half. And he tries to do the same thing for his child. Grieve but remember that death is natural. Cry but look for answers too.
Try as he might to be there emotionally for his child, by talking about his partner's death in a purely logical way, Magnus detaches himself from the situation and leaves his child feeling alone with their feelings of grief. Like they are overreacting. Because people die all the time. And death is not really the end because the spirit continues to exist and so maybe, in a way, their other parent is still alive and they are being ridiculous for mourning.
Perturabo - First, Perturabo distracts himself with work. He designs and builds a mausoleum for his beloved, a work of art meant to stand the test of time, and when that is done... he moves on. At least he tries to. He tries not to linger on their memory, on the pain left behind by their absence. In a way, it's his own way of clinging onto them because part of him fears that if he grieves then he will one day have let them go.
And so, where before Perturabo might have been an emotionally distant but still present (and in his own way, loving) father to his child, he now shuts them out completely. They remind him too much of his beloved and it hurts. And what do we do with a limb that's no longer working? We cut it off. So, Perturabo pretends they don't exist. And if they exist, then they are far out of sight. And if they are in sight, they are not his child. Just another face in the crowd. Perturabo does not grieve, does not allow himself to, and he will only regret his decisions when it's all too late and his child has come to despise him.
Alpharius - It's a confusing time for heir of the Alpha Legion. They are surrounded by the faces of their father(s) yet the Primarchs themselves are... not absent but they aren't there when they need them the most. It's always been like this, with them randomly disappearing for whatever reasons, but the fact that they don't let up even now? It hurts.
Even when Alpharius and Omegon are there, their way of comforting their child is clinical. Almost detached in a way. They say what they should say, hug them and wipe their tears but it all feels like it's been rehearsed. Like it's a play. The truth is that both of them are desperately trying to figure this all out as well, trying to make sense of the situation and they are so obsessed with control and planning that they can't allow themselves to fully mourn.
Lorgar - For a long time, Lorgar is inconsolable, his face permanently wet with tears and twisted into an expression of pure grief. He spends this time praying, both for the safety of his beloved's soul but also for answers. Why did they have to die? Lorgar is desperately looking for some kind of sign, a reason.
During all of this, his child is by his side, urged to pray along with him. And Lorgar tries, he tries so hard to emotionally support them, to wipe their tears and hold them when they cry but the truth is that he needs them more than they need him. They are his rock in this time of grief and as much as they love him, as much as they appreciate what he's trying to do for them, the weight of responsibility is too much for such a young child. But what can they do except suck it up and be there for their father? He needs them after all...
Horus - As the Warmaster, Horus has to be strong. Perfect. Some grief is allowed but he's expected to still function, to continue with his duties like always. This forces him to grieve silently and alone. His child sees... some of it, but because it's so hard for him to separate 'Horus' from 'the Warmaster', Horus ends up passing this to his kid which, yeah, not a good thing. Horus tries to talk them about everything that's happened but they think they have to grieve on their own so they just say they're fine and tell him not to worry.
Of course, Horus does have some emotional intelligence so he does notice that something is off but he also does not want to force them to talk when they apparently don't want to so... it's a mess. Zero communication between them but they both try so hard to be there for each other.
Konrad - Konrad knew this would happen. Maybe not exactly this way but he'd foreseen the death of his beloved so many times that he had come to accept it, even if it tore him apart. That doesn't mean that when it finally did happen, that it didn't hurt. Because it did. It hurt worse than anything Konrad had ever experienced. But he accepts that pain, embraces it, because it means that what he felt was real.
He tells his child exactly this. Mourning is just the culmination of love and it shows that even when gone, they can still feel their parent in their heart. And it helps, it really does. But while he might help them grieve and mourn, Konrad won't be able to help them move past that. They might be able to figure it out on their own one day but for a long, long time, their heart will weigh heavy with sorrow.
Sanguinius - Like Konrad, Sanguinius foresaw the death of his beloved and likewise tries to prepare himself for it. But in the end, he could not accept it and so, when the day finally came, he felt so, so damn lost and broken. He surrounds himself with things that remind him of them, portraits and their favorite things, using these items in an effort to fill the gaping void left inside of him.
Despite his own crisis, Sanguinius tries his best to appear strong for his child. They don't need to see him fall apart at the seams. So he smiles for them, acts like the rock they need him to be in this turbulent time of their life. All the while, he tries to ignore the stabbing guilt that stems from the knowledge that one day, he too will leave them and then they will have no one left.
Corvus - He isolates himself together with his child for some time after his beloved's death. It's his way of gaining some kind of semblance of control over the situation, by holding what he cherishes close to him and protecting them from the outside.
It's not the worst tactic but it's far from the best one. On one hand, this way they can both find comfort in each other's presence as they mourn. But on the other hand, the isolation creates kind of a loop of grief. They are both sad, they see the other one is sad, get even sadder and so on. The best thing would be to step out and let some light into their lives again. It will take some time before this happens though.
Ferrus - He can't do this. Not alone, not without his partner. Ferrus loves his child, treasures them above all else but he's never been particularly good at this whole parenting thing and now he's supposed to do it on his own, all while handling his own grief? Despite outward appearances and apparent calm, he feels truly lost and every conversation he has with his kid he feels as if he's just making things worse.
Because he's so insecure about his parenting skills, Ferrus flips between being super, overly involved to detached. But dammit, he tries so hard to be, if not good, adequate, and even though he's so awkward the whole time, he does talk to them about what's happened and makes it known that they can always seek him out if they need someone to talk to.
Rogal - Dorn is no stranger to grief. On his unforgiving homeworld, death was always present and when his grandfather died, he mourned for a long time. This... this is not so different. His emotions might be stronger, his grief more intense, but he knows how to handle that. What he does not know how to do, is how to help a child through that same grief.
He has never been particularly good at subtlety or at the more delicate emotional aspects of parenting, but he tries so hard. He thinks about what his spouse would have done, what his grandfather used to say, and talks. Actually talks, with his kid. About everything. It's not easy but it's sincere and heartfelt and his kid knows that and together they help each other through this heartache.
Vulkan - There's a dark cloud looming over the Salamander's legion and everyone can see how deep in mourning Vulkan is. Yet despite his obvious sorrow, he still carries on, he still smiles (even if not as often or as brightly as usually) because his little one needs him. He can not succumb to his anguish when they are mourning just as much as he is.
During this time, Vulkan refuses to leave his child. They need him, he needs them, and there's no force strong enough in the universe to separate them. He hugs them even more than he usually does, they talk late into the night and when there's nothing left to say, they simply find comfort in the silent presence of each other.
Lion - Lion does not know how to grieve. He was never taught how to and now he does not know how to ask. Truth to be told, he can barely even make sense of what he's feeling, the loss manifesting itself in what he can only call physical pain, his dual-hearts aching as if squeezed in a power fist. But Lion does not make a show out of his pain, in fact, he doesn't even mention it. Admitting it would be admitting weakness and he can't afford to be weak. Not just in front of his legion, but his own child as well.
In Lion's head, as long as he's strong and unflinching, then he's providing proper support to his child. He thinks that this way, they will feel secure, knowing that he's there to catch them. Instead, it has the opposite effect. His child feels abandoned by him and slowly grow to scorn him over the fact that he seemingly doesn't care about the death of their other parent. Neither of them know how to talk about emotions with each other (that was always the other parent's thing) and so the animosity grows in silence.
Leman - He makes no attempt to hide his emotions and tells his child to not do that either. If they want to cry? Cry. If they want to hit, kick and bite? Then don't hold anything back. Their father will be right by their side, howling out their grief for all of Fenris to hear.
Leman will let his child mourn for however long they need to, partially because he knows that he himself will be inconsolable for a long, long time. It is better to let it all out, to feel all those emotions, then to shut them inside where they will fester into something dark and harmful. During this grieving period, they are never far apart from one another and they find solace in this closeness.
Jaghatai - Despite feeling like his soul has been ripped in half, Jaghatai retains a certain calm throughout it all. Instead of wallowing in grief, he remembers the good times, those happy days when they were all together. Death was the end but that didn't mean that life held no value, that the adventure wasn't worth it. Because it was. It was so, so very wonderful.
He helps his child through their own grief by telling them stories of the past, both moments they were there for and from the time before they were born. Jaghatai reminds them that it is ok to feel sad, to miss their other parent, but to never forget the time they had together. Don't focus of what could have been, but instead on what they had.
Roboute - Like with everything else in life, Roboute compartmentalizes. He puts his feelings, his grief, in a box and focuses on what needs to be done. The paperwork, the funeral and so on. He will mourn only when all of that is dealt with, because he knows that if he allows his feelings to take hold of him now then he will never get anything done.
Among his priorities is the comfort of his child. He knows he needs to be there for them, that they can't control their emotions like he can, and that they need his support. The thing is... Because he's not allowing himself to grieve yet, it all comes out very stilted. And then there's the sad fact that because Roboute is so preoccupied with everything around his spouse's death, he does not spend nearly enough time with his child.
It's not your fault, of course. You gave me exactly what I asked for, and these are beautifully heartbreaking. Apparently I was just in the mood to torment myself at the time.
This series is slowly consuming me just as much as the Modern AU is.
Anyway, Konrad's creature meets her man in gold
"I hear she's as mad as he was."
"Ten thousand years of grief will do that to a human."
"How can you grieve someone like that?"
"I don't know, ask her."
Luis Dante presses his hand to his head. The murmuring of the Ultramarines around him was getting on his nerves. He needed to sleep- desperately. But he had to get through this first. Lord Guilliman had demanded his presence for this meeting, for reasons he still did not understand. He was not so great a man to be looked upon so favorably by a primarch, but he wasn't exactly in the position to argue with him about it either.
"Do you really think she'll even show?"
"Who knows. That woman never comes planet-side."
The person they were discussing was the supposed mistress of the Night Lords, a legion that has danced on the edge of chaos for ten thousand years. They were rarely involved in much regarding the Imperium, so the fact that they were not only coming to Holy Terra, but that she was stepping foot on the planet instead of just sending one of her astartes was apparently the cause for far too much gossip this early in he morning. It was like sitting in a room full of children.
The door to the meeting room opens and the whispering Ultramarines go quiet. Dante turns his head to get a look at who was entering.
It's a man. Another space marine. His armor is dark, with signs of years of use and repair, the sigil on the front announcing him as a Night Lord. His face is horribly scarred, his dark hair touched slightly grey with age despite his face still holding some youth to it, and he carries himself with great pride in his every step.
Everyone shifts away from the marine as he steps into the room.
"Your master is not here yet?" His accent is thick, and unrecognizable. "And here I thought he was incapable of being late for anything."
"Watch your tone, Night Lord," An Ultramarine snaps at him.
"Watch yours."
"Sev, enough."
The voice startles Dante a little. He hadn't even noticed the other figure at first. Though to be fair, a baseline in a room of astartes was easy to miss.
You step around your escort and make for the seat that had been prepared just for you, and Dante's eyes follow you the whole way.
A perpetual from the age of the great heresy. Someone who likely laid eyes on his father in the flesh. You were so…small (though, what baseline wasn't small to him?). And yet, you carried yourself as if you were the largest person in the room.
'Sev' follows you, never once overtaking you despite how much greater he was in stature. You sit, leaning back in your seat, and tapping your nails impatiently on the arm of the chair. They were sharp, he notes, tipped with intricate metal claws that decorated your fingers and hands. They could be removed, making them more like jewelry. An aesthetic choice, rather than an augment, and one that suited your title.
The Lady Night Haunter. She who controls a legion of criminals and heretics. The wretched child of fallen primarch Konrad Curze.
You were far more beautiful than anything he'd ever heard about you. It was almost unfair.
You reach for a data slate that has been laid out for you in advance- Dante had one as well, though he hasn't looked at it yet, waiting for the lord of Ultramar first- and start going through the information on it silently, your sharp metal claws tap tap tapping on the screen. You make a face, unhappy.
"Is this really it? This is all he wanted me here for?" You scoff and practically toss it back onto the table. It clatters on the surface. "Ridiculous. I have better things to do than this."
One of the Ultramarines scoffs, and mutters something under his breath that Dante doesn't quite catch. Your eyes find the offending astartes, gaze sharper than any blade.
"What was that? I'm afraid I didn't hear you." You leave no room for him to argue or backpedal. You hadn't heard his words, but you knew well enough that they were likely unkind.
"I said nothing, my lady." He denies it anyway.
"Sevatar."
"He wonders if your better things is spreading our 'heresy' and collecting more 'worthless men' for the legion, my sister."
A heavy, uncomfortable silence falls upon the room. Then, you laugh. It's a harsh thing. Angry, offended, deadly.
"Well now, haven't you lot gotten bold in the absence of your lord father?" Your eyes find Dante. "Don't you agree, Lord Dante?"
He had not introduced himself, nor spoken up at all, so the fact that you knew him was a bit startling. Though, he supposed rumors of him have reached even your ears by now.
"I do," He doesn't lie. To speak to someone of your station in this way was downright wrong. Even if you were everything they said you were, you still held the title your fallen father left behind. You were still master of a legion, and still loyal to the Emperor.
Also, he gets the sense his own father would be disappointed to see you treated so poorly. He wonders if somewhere in his blood, there is an affection for you ten thousand years old.
You hum, pleased by his answer.
"There was a time when the Ultramarines were actually worth something. Such a shame to see how far you've all fallen."
Your words cut deep into the pride of the blue-armored astartes in the room- as they were intended to do.
"Watch yourself! You speak as if your legion isn't filled with cowards and criminals who look down on the rest of us as if they're the better men!"
Another sharp, angry laugh.
"You forget that the only reason any of your campaigns have succeeded is because of my cowards and criminals," You push back from the table, standing. "They are the better men."
You walk back towards the door, heedless of anything else any of them try to say to argue with you.
"I've had enough of this. I will not sit here and be accosted by children who can't mind their manners. Tell Guilliman that he and I can speak another day."
-
Of all places to find you after all that, this wasn't what he expected.
You stand under the statue of his father with your hands folded behind you, looking up at the face of the primarch long carved from stone. He can't see your expression from behind you, but he can feel the weight of your emotions simply by how you stand.
He takes a step back, hoping to slip away unnoticed so he didn't disturb your moment of peace, but he isn't nearly that lucky.
"Come in, Dante," You hum. "Don't let me keep you from visiting your father."
He hesitates a moment, but does finally walk forwards into the sacred space. He stands next to you, an astartes arm length apart, plus a few centimeters, to allow for respectful distance, and the two of you stand in a surprisingly comfortable silence for a moment, each looking at the great angel with different thoughts running through your heads.
He wonders if he should have done more in the meeting to defend you. If he'd somehow let you, Lord Guilliman, and his father down by allowing you to be spoken to in such a way. He wonders if he should apologize. If he was even allowed to speak to you at all.
Just because Guilliman deemed him worthy of conversation, that didn't mean you would. You may not be the primarch of the eighth legion, but you were close enough.
"I apologize," It slips out without his permission anyway. You hum, encouraging him to continue. "I should have done more for you back there."
You huff out a chuckle and shake your head.
"It wasn't your fight. I can't blame you for staying out of it."
"Even still. It feels shameful. I did explain to Lord Guilliman why you left, but-"
"Were you born on Baal?" Your question comes out of nowhere, and it startles him a bit.
"I was."
"Mm. I can tell."
He turns his head towards you, tilting it to the side somewhat. You glance at him, a smile playing at your lips.
"You sound like your father."
Your words sit heavily between you. A reminder that you knew him. Spoke with him. Was alive the day he fell.
"I…thank you."
It was a compliment like none other. Your words meant more to him than he could say, and it made him feel a bit silly at being soothed by you when it should be the other way around still.
"There aren't many of you who carry his cadence anymore, even those from Baal. It becomes harder and harder to find him in his sons as the years pass," You let out a sigh. "It's nice to hear it."
He genuinely doesn't know what to say. Does he thank you again? Change the subject? You clearly didn't want to talk about the events of the meeting, and honestly he can't blame you. It had been bad enough that you'd left before it really even started because of how badly the Ultramarines had offended you.
"What about you, my lady?"
"Hm?"
"Do you speak like your father?"
You're quiet for a very long moment, face unreadable. Then you slowly turn to look at him again.
"Stars above I hope not."
He lets out a shocked laugh, unable to help himself, as you continue.
"My father was mad! People seem to think I don't know that! I would be deeply concerned if I sounded like him!"
Your laughter mixes with his in a harmony he'd be thinking about for several long days afterwards. Your joy is bright, warm despite the coldness in which you're forced to carry yourself. It lights up your whole face beautifully. Truly, it was unfair for someone so unattainable to be so lovely.
Laughter softens to giggles, which soften to a sigh, and a sad expression.
"I don't think so, though. Not anymore. I lost his voice after so many years without it. And my brothers now don't come from Nostromo, so none of them carry it with them either, even after being gifted his gene-seed. Sevatar is the exception. He's the only one who's been able to cling to it."
"I see. I'm sorry, I understand how important it must be."
"It's alright, I've survived this long, I suppose I will simply just have to keep going."
Whether you liked it or not.
The words weren't said aloud, but he felt them in the air. He understood that, too. All too well. The want to lie down and close your eyes and not have to rise again…the life of someone like you- and him, too, it seems- is long, and exhausting. He feels for you.
Your eyes fall to the face of his father hanging on his hip- to the death mask he wore into battle. You reach out and touch it, rubbing the space between the eyes as if you were trying to smooth the expression into something softer.
He hadn't even realized he'd gotten so close to you over the course of the conversation. Yet he doesn't find it uncomfortable. In fact, he'd dare to say he enjoyed your company, and a part of him wished it would last longer.
"Were you close?" He's not really sure if he's allowed to ask, but he does anyway.
You hum, letting your hand return to your side, and looking up at him.
"There were times my father had no choice but to leave me in his care. He was always kind to me."
"He was kind to all."
"Oh-ho, you have no idea," You chuckle, turning away from him to look back again at the statue. "I have seen that man angry. It scared me more than my father on one of his bad days. He was the angel, but I would not call him an angel."
You take a few steps away, still watching the statue as if you expected it to come alive.
"Ahem."
Dante barely manages not to jump at the new voice from behind. He'd been so caught up in you, that he'd completely missed the approach of the Night Lord now hovering in the doorway. Chills run down the chapter master's spine when he makes eye contact with the other man. In all the battles he'd been in, he'd never felt such pure bloodlust. Jago Sevatarion did not like him.
But you turn and smile at him.
"Sev. Are you done already?"
"It was an easy errand."
"Good, I thought it might be," You look again at Dante. "I should get going, then. I have to see Guilliman before I leave the planet, or I'll never hear the end of it. Until next time, Luis Dante."
"My lady," He bows his head.
Then he watches in pure wonder as you lift onto your toes and reach up as far as you could. You're just barely able to reach the base of the statue's outstretched hand, tapping it with your fingers as if attempting a high—five.
"Bye, 'guini."
For a moment, you looked every bit like someone saying goodbye to her dearest, and most precious friend.
🦈CW for Wounds and Scars, but he IS fine, he just needs some Band-Aids™ and some kisses.
. . . Just realised Theyr heraldry is literally The Shake Emoji 🦈
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Tyberos The Red Wake, Chapter Master and Leader of The First Company of The Carcharodons, The Terminator Users of The Red Brethren.
AND HE DOESN'T HAVE A NEW MODEL OR A JOYTOY, BECAUSE GW ARE COWARDS.
I drew the most egotistical and loud astartes ever, might aswell draw the most humble and quiet one.
The Whispering Death, big and silent giant that I have drawn Twice before, in diferent stages of looking like a horrible truck accident, but this is the closest one to his 41th Millenium form, Because HE IS STILL OUT THERE, JUST QUIETLY.
I Would die to see him and Eidolon fighting, because Eidolon wouldn't shut the fuck up and Tyberos Would be looking at him like "...................................".
Bet he can look Alpharius in the eyes, and probably Angron too—
These are 2625x3500 digital drawings done on Ibispaint, using My own Old Tyberos Drawings as reference, EVEN If Those references weren't Very useful on This level of harm, they still helped in drawing his Handsome Neophyte face, and The progression of his scars. As Always, here are the progression and speedpaint of the rendering.
Santa has once again returned to the North Pole, to be interred on his peppermint throne and judge the children of the world, kept alive by the sacrifice of 1,000 naughty kids every single day
There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of cookies and presents, and the laughter of a jolly old elf
Hello. I’ve read all the recent Modern AU shenanigans and enjoyed them. When you have the time and IF you are willing, I would like to hear your take on this . Modern AU primarchs and meeting their family. Cause at some point you need to meet the family of your boyfriend. Like which of them would have you meeting Big Daddy E, or their favorite brothers, or Mom if Erda is alive in this au, or Uncle Malcador.
Thanks again for blessing us with the beauty known as the Modern AU.
I'm so happy you're enjoying my madness, genuinely I'm having fun with this AU
In my mind, Neoth and Erda are amicably divorced and thriving
Lion
No one really even knows he's seeing you for at least a year before he spills the beans
You meet Malcador first
Lion trusts him, and knows his uncle (despite there being no blood relation) will at least be kind to you
The meeting is in public, in a café he gets to before either of you so he can make sure he knows where all the exits are
You arrive a little early, nervous, but excited
Lion doesn't talk much about his family, so this is kind of a big deal
Malcador betrays him by bringing Roboute along
They were already together discussing business things, in the man's defense
He does at least warn Lion beforehand, but your love is significantly more on edge than he was before
Roboute has a big mouth- worse than Fulgrim sometimes- and will absolutely tell their father
When the two arrive Lion stands, which has you jumping up as well
You're greeted with handshakes from them both, and Roboute apologizes for coming technically uninvited
Lion tells him it's fine, but you worry for a moment that he might put a fork through his brother's eye socket with how he's glaring at him
"I've heard nothing about you," Malcador says, poking a bit of fun at Lion's secrecy.
"Me neither," You say back.
Malcador chuckles, and you see Lion relax the tiniest bit
The conversation goes rather smoothly
You get along well with the older man, and Roboute manages to make you laugh at least once
Lion says little, instead observing the three of you with his usual intensity
"Lion, may I speak to you a moment."
Roboute's words make you anxious beyond belief, and you can tell Lion doesn't want to leave you alone with Malcador, but he goes anyway
They go far enough where you can't hear them, but he can still see you
You don't get to know what they talk about, Lion never says.
You take the moment to ask Malcador more about the rest of the family
"I've known their father since we were boys, he's a good man, but can be difficult. I can understand Lion's hesitancy. As for the rest of them...well, Neoth raised twenty one very different sons. But I think you'll be fine."
You nearly choke on your drink at the number of brothers, which makes the old man laugh
"He really told you absolutely nothing?"
"He just said the family was 'too big'."
"He isn't wrong."
You reach and place your hands over Malcador's on the table
"Please tell me everything because he said if this went well he'd let me meet everyone else and I feel like I need better preparation."
Malcador is still laughing when the brothers return to the table
Fulgrim
Fulgrim tells everyone as soon as possible
Shows pictures of you off to his brothers constantly
The first time you meet any of them, they are already well aware of who you are
You get to meet Ferrus first, though
He's at Fulgrim's house when you arrive for a usual visit
It makes you giggle a little, seeing your very extraverted and extravagant partner interact with someone significantly more closed off than he is
Ferrus is polite, but a bit distant towards you
He's the one to ask Fulgrim about when he was going to bring you around to meet the others
You watch your love's face twitch
"Soon, of course!"
Said in the exact cadence that tells you he's lying
Ferrus hears it too, you can see it in his face
Neither of you mention it in the moment
When Ferrus leaves, he tells you that he enjoyed meeting you, and you feel like you won something when Fulgrim lights up even more
It's in private that you gingerly bring up the lie
Fulgrim curls his nose, and insists he doesn't know what you're talking about
It takes more poking and prodding, but he eventually relents, and admits that he's hesitant because he's afraid
Afraid you'll find his brothers more impressive, his father more interesting, his mother more elegant
Fulgrim very rarely shows his insecurities like this, so you know it's serious
"It's going to have to happen eventually, though."
"Does it really?"
"If you ever want to marry me, then yeah, I kind of need to know who my in-laws are."
He laughs so hard he snorts in what he would consider an unattractive way, but you love because it's so authentically him
"Fine, fine. But you have to promise not to like any of them more than me."
"I really don't think that's going to be an issue."
Perturabo
The only reason you meet Magnus is because it's entirely on accident
You just happen to spot them while running errands
Perturabo is waiting on the sidewalk, eyes on his phone, when you call to him
His head snaps up and he finds you immediately and rushes to greet you as you run to him
He's short and tries to push you to move on as quickly as possible
It hurts your feelings a bit, but you understand the moment Magnus appears behind him
Perturabo had told you that you meeting his family was something he wanted to avoid for as long as possible
And here you were, barreling right into it
Magnus gasps at the sight of you, excitement filling his face
"Is this- are you-?"
He pushes forward, taking your hands in his, absolutely beaming
You're invited to lunch with them, which you politely try to refuse
Not only were you not dressed for something like that, but Perturabo looks like he wants to explode and take Magnus down with him
Magnus, though, is persistent, and knows very well how to encourage his brother
"Perhaps you and I can meet privately another night then?"
It's not said in any suggestive way, of that you're sure, but your lover folds
Lunch is at a diner nearby
Perturabo sits next to you so he can glare at Magnus while he talks and talks and talks to you
You keep a hand on his leg, soothing him as best you can
A phone call pulls Perturabo away from you, leaving you alone with Magnus
It's actually quiet between the two of you for a moment
Magnus smiles, but it's different
Softer
"I've never seen him quite so content. I'd go so far as to say he's happy, even right now."
You smile, chest warm
"That's good...sometimes I'm not sure."
"You're doing just fine, trust me."
Jaghatai
He's one of the few that just rips off the band-aid
Better to introduce you sooner rather than later
His family is a lot, and he knows it, so he does worry quite a bit to himself about whether you'll get along well
He opts for an introduction in public, at a big dinner he prepares you for days in advance
You promise that if you get overwhelmed he can carry you out the back door and the two of you can just run off
He laughs, and kisses your head, feeling much better
Thankfully, the brothers all arrive in smaller groups
Roboute, Rogal, and Lion are first, and you get the sense the third of the three has been there for a while already
The others filter in on their own schedule
Vulkan hugs you like you've always been part of the family
It makes introductions easier, because at least now you aren't trying to meet them all at the same time
Neoth arrives last, along with Erda and Malcador
Both Erda and Malcador are relatively pleasant towards you
But speaking to Jaghatai's father feels even more like an interrogation than when speaking with Lion
At some point, thought, he nods once, and the air in the room becomes easier to breathe
The two of you celebrate a meeting gone well with a long ride on his bike through the night
Leman
The first of the brothers that starts with a quieter, more private introduction
He's very nervous when he lets you into his home that night, you can tell
Pacing and talking fast, but not drinking
You assure him that everything is going to be fine, but you're not sure he totally believes you
Erda arrives first
His mother is nice, offering you a brief hug over a handshake
She fusses at Leman for hovering over you
"I'm not going to eat them, Leman."
You get dragged into sitting with him, your love too anxious to be too far apart from you for too long
Your conversation with Erda is pleasant and surprisingly easy
You talk, you laugh, she offers to give you a recipe for a meal Leman especially likes
Everything goes well
When Neoth finally arrives, he brings beer that no one touches right away
Your conversation with him is more stiff, but with Erda already on your side, it goes smoothly
She even tells him to cut his bullshit a few times
Once his questions are answered to his satisfaction, he hands you one of the beers
You take it
He nods
Leman squeezes your hand under the table, grinning ear to ear, and you know you won the battle
Rogal
It comes up a few times before he really agrees to it
He's honestly been enjoying the peace of being in a relationship with you without the strain of his family constantly measuring you
But then he met yours, and realized he was left with no other option, really, than returning the favor
He asks you to go with him to the Sunday dinner at his father's that he usually leaves you at home for, and you agree happily
He walks you through some basic do's and don'ts, up to and including being mindful of the rivalry between Leman and Magnus, as he insists it can get ugly between them rather quickly
Completely leaves out the fact that he and Perturabo can be the same way
You dress nice, but not too formal, and go over everything in the car a second time on the drive there
Malcador greets the two of you at the door, and you spend a good few minutes talking to him in the foyer before going further into the house
You're greeted, given handshakes and hugs, then sat near the front with Rogal, between him and Konrad, who barely acknowledges you exist after introductions
Erda is not in attendance, but you're promised a meeting with her later
Neoth is cordial, but cold
You can tell he's trying to decide whether you're just around for the family money through the whole meal
But he asks questions, listens, then asks more
Then he just watches you interact with the rest of his sons once he's decided he knows enough for now
You do your best to keep up with conversations, and find yourself mostly talking to Roboute, Sanguinius, and Horus
It's overwhelming, but you think you do pretty okay
Afterwards, Rogal chooses to skip the post-dinner activities- which, as you understand it, is mostly lingering in one of the sitting rooms drinking and playing pool or cards- in favor of taking you home so you don't get too overwhelmed with it all
You insist that you're fine, but there's no arguing with him when he gets that look on his face, so you say your goodbyes
Horus makes you promise to come back, which you do, but you notice how Rogal seems to push you out faster
When you ask about it, he just says he didn't want to get caught in traffic
There was no traffic
Konrad
"You want to what?"
"Meet your family."
"No."
He's very very against it
Not because they wouldn't like you
He knows for a fact they will
But because he already feels undeserving of your attention and the idea having you in a room with Horus makes his bones itch
Or worse
Sanguinius
One look at his angelic brother will surely have you realizing you made the worst choice possible and leaving
So no, it's not happening, not if he can help it
But he's not that lucky- his attempts at hiding you forever are destined to fail eventually
And of course, it has to be his worst-case scenario
Sanguinius comes by his home one evening without warning
You answer the door for Konrad, thinking it's the takeout you ordered
Silence.
He looks at you, trying to figure out what exactly he was seeing
You look back, admittedly in awe of him
Konrad comes around the corner wondering what's taking you so long and nearly perishes on the spot
He slams the door in Sanguinius' face
But his brother is persistent, annoyingly so, and refuses to leave until Konrad comes back to the door
You hover around the corner to listen to them talk, catching only bits and pieces.
Eventually Sanguinius manages to weasel his way inside despite protests from your lover
He bee-lines it straight for you, all graceful smiles and warm hands wrapping around yours
"It's so nice to meet you. I'm Sanguinius- and you?"
You stumble over your own name a bit. He's beautiful, but overwhelming
He is very kind to you, though, and asks about a hundred and one questions
"Where did you meet? How long have you been together? Have you met anyone else yet?"
By the time Konrad gets him back out the door- with lots of yelling and some pushing and shoving- you've nearly told him your whole life story
It's a miracle Konrad doesn't kick you out too, but he lets you stay and soothe his frayed nerves
You promise you aren't going to leave him, that his brother was nice but not what you wanted
He doesn't believe you, but he clings to you anyway
It takes a pretty long time after that to convince him to let you meet the rest
Sanguinius
He brings you home for the holidays
Asks several times if you're sure, and insists that it's alright if you aren't comfortable considering how large his immediate family is
But he's happy when you agree
He's already told everyone about you at this point, so there are no surprises when he arrives with you on his arm
The holidays are always chaotic, but they're even more so with a family this large
You get caught in about five conversations at once, and somehow fully split from Sanguinius somewhere between dinner and gift giving and end up on the complete opposite end of the room as him
You spot him with his father, and though you're desperate to know what they're talking about that has him looking that serious, you're unable to sneak over before the conversation ends
You get the most attention from Horus, who takes Neoth's duty of asking you all the important questions while his father is busy with the rest of the family and holiday chaos
At some point, Erda joins your side, and the two of you have a very pleasant talk
Sanguinius makes his way back to you in time for gifts to be handed out, and all but has you in his lap with how close he keeps you
He and Vulkan are the two to give you something, and you immediately feel bad for only having something for your love
Your worries are waved away though, someone joking that you'll just have to be more prepared next year
You stay with him in the house that night, wrapped in his arms a little tighter than usual
He asks if you had fun, if you liked his family
You promise you did, that you felt welcomed even though his father barely looked at you
Ferrus
All you really have to do is ask once
He thinks about it for about a day, then agrees
"Fulgrim is coming over this weekend to drop his car off for maintenance anyway."
You promise to be there, which is easy considering you practically live with him at this point
Fulgrim arrives and he is everything you are warned he is
Excitable, friendly, and a bit bold
He hugs you upon meeting you, fully lifting you off the ground before kissing both cheeks and gushing about how excited he is to meet you
Apparently Ferrus talks about you to him a lot
Ferrus is banished to the garage so you and Fulgrim can have "in-law time"
You aren't married or engaged, nor has the topic even been discussed, but you find it hard to correct him
He's very sure of himself
The two of you sit at the kitchen table, and you're hit with the dreaded
"Tell me everything~"
You have no idea where to even begin, but he's surprisingly patient, letting you get your feet under you a bit before asking more and more pointed questions
When he runs out of information to squeeze out of you, he starts gossiping, and before you know it the two of you have been sitting there for hours
Ferrus leaves you both be for the most part, only coming inside when he needed something or to make sure things were going well
It seems to make him happy that you and Fulgrim get along so well
When he finally does leave, it's not without another hug, his phone number for emergencies, and your promise to meet for coffee to talk more
Angron
He denies any request to meet his family several times
He does not trust a single one of them to be good to you without another motive
With as many brothers as he has, though, it's likely impossible to avoid them forever, and he knows it
But it's Erda who gets to you first
He's softest towards his mother, and she's who he admits his relationship to you with first
He is not happy, however, at finding out that she reaches out to you without telling him
You bring it up because you thought he knew she'd found your contact information and called you
"She just wants to have coffee, it's fine, I'll be okay I promise."
"I'm coming with you."
There is no argument to be had, his condition is easy for you to agree to
You meet the next day at a little cafe near his home
She's already there when you arrive, and she offers a warm smile at the sight of you two
You hold his hand under the table, and though he tries not to squeeze too hard, it does still hurt a little
He apologizes later about ten times, kissing the bruises his anxiety left behind on your fingers
But in the moment, it's not something even remotely on his mind
He's too focused on making sure none of his brothers- or heaven help you, his father- show up unannounced
You do manage to have a decent conversation with her through the tension, though
She hugs you when you leave, and tells you to reach out should you need anything
"My boy can be a bit difficult sometimes, but you seem to suit him well. I'm glad."
Roboute
The topic is discussed, agreed upon, and a meeting scheduled
He sits you down with a whole powerpoint presentation the night before to prepare you for what was coming
It has names, pictures, and personality profiles
There are even warnings of what not to talk about with who to avoid fights amongst his brothers
You are, perhaps, a bit overconfident with his extra help
But no amount of preparation is suitable for the chaos that is his family
Twenty brothers, divorced parents, and an uncle unrelated by blood all in one room is- for lack of a better way to put it- a lot.
They're loud and excitable, and all of them are fascinated by the person Roboute has chosen for his partner
Mortarion asks, only half joking, if his brother is paying you to be with him
You assure him that no, you are not being paid, which he responds with a simple
"You should be for dealing with him every day."
Before he walks off.
Roboute promises to speak to him about it later, even though you insist it's okay
He doesn't leave your side at first, introducing you brother by brother and saving his parents for last
His father's gaze on you is stifling
He's not outright rude to you, but he is definitely calculating
Trying to decide if you were genuine, or just after Roboute's money
Once you have met and had a reasonable amount of conversation with everyone, Roboute finally lets you off the metaphorical leash to wander about on your own while he discusses things with his father without you
You end up spending most of the night talking to either Horus, Sanguinius, or Rogal, with the first of the three hoarding the most of your time
By the time you circle back around to your love, his discussion with Neoth has long ended
You don't think he likes you, but you do think you manage to make yourself tolerable, which feels like a pretty massive win
Mortarion
No one knows you're together until you're engaged
He keeps it so quiet it's not even funny
It helps that he refuses to let his brothers visit him at home, so the fact that he moved you in goes totally under the radar
Fulgrim nearly faints when he finds out
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?!"
"It's to the person you helped me get ready for a date with."
"MORTARION. THAT WAS THREE YEARS AGO."
"And?"
He just didn't want to share you, or risk you getting scared off by his family
He never thought he'd get as lucky as he did when getting together with you, he didn't want his brothers and father fucking it up for him
He gets an earful from Fulgrim, who immediately turns around and tells everyone else, who then also have about a million and one questions
Erda is very unhappy with him about it
Malcador and Neoth are not surprised to hear he hid something like this in the slightest
Konrad refuses to believe him
It's a disaster
He should have just married you and kept it secret
But no, you just had to insist on meeting his family before the wedding and he just had to fall for your stupidly effective puppy eyes
He supposes he should be glad you've been as patient as you have been about this
So he takes you to Sunday dinner
Insists on keeping it short, but you end up staying far longer than he wanted
You get along with everyone for the most part, which is relatively soothing
Even though he claims he doesn't care if you hate them, he does still want you to like at least a few of them- even if he doesn't admit it out loud
Not his father though. His father's opinion can be shoved right back down his throat for all he cares.
Magnus
He's surprisingly hesitant about it
Magnus is usually pretty open about things, but this does worry him quite a bit
Asks if you're really sure you want to meet his family about fifteen times before giving in
Actually has you meet Leman of all people first
The two don't get along in the slightest, but he figures it will be short, and if he can get through this, he can get through the rest of them easily
Too bad you and his least favorite brother get along swimmingly
Which means he ends up sitting there, fully left out of all conversation, for about two hours before he has to drag you away citing other business he makes up on the spot
But with that out of the way, he considers the rest of it a cakewalk
Between your intellect and charm, you're quite likable, and get along with his brothers and mother easily
His father is a tougher nut to crack, which is why Magnus puts off his introduction as long as he physically can
When he does bring you to meet his father, it's tense
You're polite, and he's aloof as he always is, but Magnus thinks it goes well enough
At the very least, he doesn't receive any demands to leave you, which he has to consider a win
Horus
Horus, for all his charm and confidence, does not want you anywhere near his family
You have to basically corner him by showing up at his office after being told his father would be stopping by at some point in the day
It takes four tries
Horus is all smiles and warmth, but you can tell he's uncomfortable when you're let in while Neoth is still there
You feign innocence, apologizing for interrupting
Neoth asks who you are
Horus is trapped
Introductions are made
You try not to overstay your welcome, but Neoth asks more questions than you're prepared for, and you end up walking out of your love's office with him while Horus scrambles to keep up so you aren't left alone with his father
He knows very well where he got his charm, and he worries about Neoth liking you too much
Thankfully, your walk only extends back to the elevators, and he manages to smoothly separate the two of you
You get pulled back to his office once his father is out of sight
"My love, don't ever do that to me again."
"You didn't really give me a choice."
He sighs
He knows
A part of him is proud that you're so sneaky
But the other part is now very stressed out
Thankfully, his office is soundproof with a door that locks, so you're happy to help him with that
Lorgar
Another one that just rips off the band-aid and introduces you to his father quickly
Neoth's opinion matters to him a lot
So he desperately hopes he likes you
And even if he doesn't, Lorgar will persist in his love because you are worth it to him
It's a private meeting with just the three of you
Lorgar talks more than you do, answering Neoth's questions before you get the chance out of nervousness, which gets him fussed at by his father multiple times
It gets so bad he's eventually sent from the room so you and Neoth can speak in peace
His father isn't unfriendly, but he's also not overly kind to you either
Polite, but purposefully distant
He warns you, though, that Lorgar can be difficult and stubborn, and tells you that if you were really going to stick around, that you had permission to inform him should anything happen and you need help
You still don't know if that means he likes you, or if he's worried about a bigger issue he refuses to speak about
Vulkan
Family is very important to him, but he also knows you might be a bit nervous, so he gives you space to come around to the idea on your own
He meets your family before you meet his, and they all love him
He's elated when you finally tell him you're ready
He offers to do it slowly, but you're the one who says to rip the band-aid
He asks if that's really what you want, and you nod, telling him that at least this way you could get the anxiety out faster
He promises not to leave your side, and holds to it
Throws a big dinner party at your shared home for the sake of your comfort
At least here you could retreat somewhere safe if you got overwhelmed, which you appreciated
His family is big and loud, and several of them argue several times throughout the meal, but Vulkan looks at them all with such fondness that it's hard to worry nearly as much as you thought you would
You do end up having to step away at some point, which gives Neoth a chance to surprise you with a private conversation
He's not mean, per-se, but he's distant, and asks several probing questions that hint at his general distrust of you
But you power through like a champ
You catch sight of him and Vulkan speaking later, and though you can't hear it over the chatter around you, your love looks very pleased about whatever it is
Corvus
He tries to keep your relationship quiet for as long as possible
He likes his privacy, and doesn't want his family digging into either of your business any further than necessary
But he can't hide forever, despite what he claims, and the truth of your relationship eventually comes to light
You happen to be out with him when you run into Vulkan
Corvus tries to sneak the two of you off, but you're spotted by his brother at the last moment
He's ecstatic to meet you, and gives you a hug in greeting
Out of all the brothers, Corvus is glad it's this one that you stumble into
The others required planning, but Vulkan was easy to deal with for the most part
And he knew to keep his mouth shut when it was important, which Corvus appreciated
He stays quiet, holding onto your hand, and just lets you and Vulkan talk on and on
You get along well, which isn't a surprise considering Vulkan's generally pleasant disposition, but it eases some of Corvus' anxiety nonetheless
You ask him later, once you're home, if he would be okay with you meeting the others soon, too
He's silent for a long time, but eventually agrees
It was hard to say no to you
Alpharius Omegon
You less meet the family, and more just kind of show up in it
The twins carefully integrate you into everyone's lives, making it feel as if you'd always been there
You're brought to dinners, holidays, and other parties, and act like nothing is out of the ordinary
They're good at fooling their brothers
However, Neoth is harder to sneak things by
He catches on fast, but sits back and lets it happen, just observing your relationship with his twin sons and letting them think they're getting away with their rouse
He spills the beans about two years in, privately, and commends you for your patience and ability to just go with it
Those were important traits when dealing with any of his sons, but especially those two
The Emperor/Neoth
He just sort of drops you into it
You wake up one morning in his bed
Stretch, shower, change, and walk downstairs to find his sons there for breakfast without him telling you about it
The room goes silent
Neoth explains nothing, just gestures for you to sit next to him
No one asks
No one has to
They all know
Neoth hasn't exactly been hiding that he was seeing someone
Do they love that you're so young?
No, but they're collectively more worried about you than their father
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