The Perfect Lifeform - Cell

Hopefully I shall be provided with some entertainment here. Amuse me, foolish beings, lest I grow bored and decide to wipe your useless rock out of existence.

[theperfectlifeformx]

Eugh.

Goddamnit, I forbid any of you from sending me questions about intimacy and affection.

I've been distracted during my training recently because of these thoughts.

Unless any of you prove to be some use to me with this dilemma...

[theperfectlifeformx]

Would bug spray kill you? (Asking for a friend)

Bug spray couldn't even burn me! Hah!

There's probably not a single chemical concoction that could hurt me, let's be real here.

Remember foolish humans, I'm a warrior... Not an insect.

That's your place.

[theperfectlifeformx]

Didn't you like... once called Juniors your "Precious Babies"? What's up with that out of nowhere?

Did I?

If I said anything like that, it was most likely right when they were born. Just before they proved to be absolutely useless to me.

Little insignificant versions of myself, just a mere replacement... A weak copy. Though it was a last ditch effort to try and wear down the numbers of those bastard fighters.

Whatever. They won't get any kind of parental affection from myself, they haven't earned it. Seventeen seems to be doing a decent job as is.

Damnit, now I'm frustrated. Why on Earth would Gero implement something like that onto me but not give me any other methods of reproduction?

... Seems I might be troubled with this for a while.

[theperfectlifeformx]

The Perfect Lifeform vs The Ultimate Lifeform

(now with extra awesome being voiced by Keanu Reeves, and yes I feel like shit posting today)

What is that.

Why is it awake.

Does it exist or is this another one of your silly fictional delusions?

As if it could ever compete with me. Barely an insect beneath my foot.

[theperfectlifeformx]

This will probably stroke your ego. People are literally making merch for you, I'm pretty sure I saw on comic con even action figures and some was carrying around a plushie!

You think a perfect being wouldn't own some of his perfect merchandise?

[theperfectlifeformx]

My my I find more and more of those!

So many conversations to expand my conscience to!

How delightful.

How exquisite.

Now Cell I have a question for you

Is it an aesthetic choice of yours to have these little patterns on the green parts of you? Did Dr Gero give you any kind of freedom for the customization of your appearance or not? I would be quite pissed if I hadn't any choice myself

Yours truly,

-Cube

Also, I appreciate your manners... Whoever you are.

[theperfectlifeformx]

Hello Mr. Perfect Cell!

I was just curious about something. Do you have a preference towards men or women - romantically I mean. Or do you happen to like both (or anyone else in between)?

Let's kill two birds with one stone then eh?

As I stated previously, I'm not really interested in forming long-term relationships... Especially nothing romantic. I don't believe a single being in this galaxy is worthy of my divine love anyway.

Hypothetically, if such a being were to exist though, I don't particularly care what vessel or 'gender' they are or whatever you silly humans bother yourselves with.

You must be something really special to catch the romantic interest of the perfect lifeform. By that point, I think all of the finer details are made redundant.

[theperfectlifeformx]

Welcome back after a long hiatus, Cell! I’m curious, did you encounter any “romantic” partners during your space travels? Or are ya still living the bachelor life?

Hm. Foolish question.

As if anyone in this entire multiverse could answer my romantic demands.

I'm not really interested in forming a long-term connection with another being. I wouldn't want to stray too far from my ultimate goal... Though it would be nice to have some loyal underlings.

Even a king needs to have something to satisfy his pleasure every once in a while, and sometimes the rush of a kill simply isn't enough. I'm a living organism, naturally I have my own urges and desires regarding pleasure~

But pure intimacy? Ugh. I couldn't.

I don't think I'd be what you humans consider a 'good partner' anyway....

[theperfectlifeformx]

I'm sure you've possibly heard of fusion (Or at least can assume what it is)

What's your opinion on it? And if you had to, who would you fuse with?

Well of course I know what fusion is, I’m assuming you mean the actual process of two warriors fusing together to create something stronger?

I would say the idea of sharing my own body with someone disgusts me down to my core… However, that wouldn’t make sense and would probably be a little hypocritical. Considering previously I have had no qualms with taking someone else’s body for my own gain.

If I really was in danger, I’d say I’d use it as a last ditch effort. Let’s go with that.

[theperfectlifeformx]

Stop being cute

Make me.

[theperfectlifeformx]

Would you fight against Broly?

Ah yes, the Saiyan brute.

That largely depends.

I have a feeling that fighting him would feel like fighting a feral animal. Seriously, just look at him. If he ever actually gets a grip and hones his craft, then it's a possibility.

It would certainly pose a challenge. Despite his overwhelming strength, I can tell just from his energy that he isn't very quick, which puts me at an advantage in that area.

However, that's immediately cancelled out by the fact my fighting style is more technique based rather than just all-out brawling. But then again, since when have I ever at a disadvantage in terms of raw strength~?

Hm, maybe it would be better to just absorb him. I wouldn't want to get too bulky though, my physique is perfect enough as is~ ;)

[theperfectlifeformx]

Oh hell yeah you're back!! Basically a lot of drama happened and we thought you were dead again! Anyway how was your day?

It's not been too bad at all.

I've been exploring the stars whilst I've been gone. As it stands, there isn't a scrap of internet connection in the vast void of space. I expected better from you insects.

I made my return to Earth today. I must say, this solar system is quite fascinating in person.

I wonder how long it will take for the alien life to finally succeed in taking over your planet. As it stands, you're vastly unprepared... hehe.

[theperfectlifeformx]

Well well, hasn't it been a concerningly long amount of time?

But for now, I have returned.

Go on then you puny filth, ask me anything.

hi, it's the admin lol

to be truthful, work's been kicking my butt and i have adhd so i struggle to stay consistent with stuff.

i'll do my best to stay consistent this time. i have lots of fun doing this kind of thing anyway.

work has been getting easier regardless so i should be able to find some more motivation to stay on top of things.

but for now, hey hi hello im back to doing cell stuff.

[theperfectlifeformx]

I can't remember if anyone ever asked you this yet, but do you know that Frieza has an older brother?

I thought these species were supposed to be on the brink of extinction! How many does that make?! Five?!

Yes, I am aware actually. I figured it out from scrolling through Frieza's blog. Cooler seems a lot more... Emotional, I must say. No wonder their father chose the younger, less irrational descendant to become the heir.

I just wonder why he hasn't made himself known to the rest of the universe? Is he that much of a coward? Hmph, I think had I ever encountered him, I would like to spar.

[theperfectlifeformx]

What are your thoughts on Frieza’s counterpart, Frost?

(Fun fact, he just recently started his own blog on here. Maybe check it out)

I'm not too familiar with anyone from any alternate universes or anything, but another Frieza just sounds like far too much mental work.

Although if I could spread my word to another universe? Hm. Sounds helpful. I may have to search for him for more information.

[theperfectlifeformx]

What do you think of Kuriza? He's Frieza's son

Hm, lots of questions about children today I see?

Much like my own creations, I don’t care for Frieza’s child. From the looks of things, he seems to be taking care of him rather well. How… strangely nice of him.

I suppose from my reports that those blasted saiyans seldom take care of their offspring. It’s funny really, how Frieza is still miles ahead in power compared to those two animals, but isn’t defeated by parenthood.

Unlike me, I just simply don’t care. I can’t even reproduce in any other ways than asexually. Children are pretty much out of the picture other than a possible sperm donation…

… Which… Doesn’t sound like my cup of tea.

[theperfectlifeformx]

Hello Mr. Perfect Cell, I was wondering.

Are you aware if your Cell Jr's are alive or not? I heard they may be, but I'm not really sure lol.

Yes… I am aware. I’m also aware that seventeen has decided to foster them for some… bizarre reason.

I couldn’t care less about those things, just simple clones of me with a significant decrease in strength and battle strategy. I don’t consider them my ‘children’; no parental affection necessary if that’s what you’re thinking.

If they’re alive I don’t really mind, just as long as they haven’t been brainwashed into working with Goku or anything.

I can’t wait until they figure out they cannot ‘grow up’ or anything. Hehe.