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theperpetualnight

2024

(15 April 2024)

The usual post that will be on queue for the year. I'm writing this way later than I should. It's mid March lol

I don't really know what to expect from this year and how I will feel looking back. I did a lot of travelling last year and i feel like this year i don't have the travel bug as much. I know I want to see a grand prix (and have already at Bahrain) i'm checking for others, but i would ideally like to go to another one but who knows. I really want to to to Wimbledon this year and i'm praying i get tickets from the ballot or somewhere. The only other place that i really want to travel to is America but i don't think that's going to happen anytime soon....

This year is strange because all the previous years I was at CC and could really predict for the most part how it would go but also I knew what changes I wanted from the year, mainly being to leave CC. But now that i've left CC, it's weird. I think i'm in a good place where i'm at now with my profession, however there are steps that i would like to take (you know what they are S). I'm praying for guidance because i just have uncertainty with it.

I'm focusing more on myself personally this year. I've got certain goals and i'm trying to actively work on them. I'd like to develop on the creative side and there's certain things that I'm working on, i hope by the end of the year i would have some success in these. Now more and more, i realise that i don't want to be in this rat race and i want a way out to be in control of my own time and life and not have to answer anyone, i hate restrictions. So i'm praying for progress on this end. I would also ideally like to be closer to that thing which you should know S but who knows..

Ultimately, i want peace and contentment. So i hope by the end of year i feel those things, i am better at feeling them now but you know what i mean, there's always something i guess.

Hmmmm... what else.... I just want to have fun and not take anything too seriously. I made some good memories last year and would like to have more core memories this year as well. I dont know what they will be, i do have two already of the Bahrain GP and seeing The 1975 4 times but I would love some others.

I also realised now i'll be turning 28 this year. This is actually insane and completely mad. How can i be closer to 30 than i am to 20, i still feel the same

Alhamdulillah though because i have become so much better at coming to terms with aging, perhaps a little too late but if ive learnt anything its that age does not matter, i have all the time (just stupid culture that comes in the way). But yeah i dont know how i'll feel about that and when the times comes, but i pray that Inshallah i'll be ok and not depressed, panicking and stressing.

It's currently Ramadan and i'm pretty tired despite it only being 12:21 but im still thinking if i have missed anything. All in all i guess, i pray that this year is a memorable one in a good way. Everything is what you make it and i find that now more than ever, i'm always like i just want to make things happen or find a way.

Ageing is weird man and i'm gonna go down a rabbit hole now of reading all my previous ones lol.

Ok, future me, 28 year old S, when you look back on this Inshallah, this year was everything you hoped and more and for always the better. Stay cool. Stay chill. Don't stress, don't worry. Time is always on your side.

theperpetualnight

1 January 2025

First things first, I think I have been doing this now for a decade and I need to find each one!

2024…. Where do I begin.

Upon reflection, I really think it was a great year. I do feel like it went by quickly although not as quick as 2023. I saw The 1975 four times including three nights in a row. For one of them I got right to the barrier which has always been a bucket list thing first me. On top if that I got to hear Me, You and So Far It’s Alright live. It was genuinely one of the best experiences ever. I think I also knew though whilst I was there this would be the last time I would see The 1975 live and well there was no better way for me to end it.

There was a lot for travelling! I went to the grand prix in Bahrain which was a wild experience in itself, running on the motorway to get to the circuit because we would miss the race. I finally went to Umrah which was something I was aching for a long time but I think it made sense me going when I did. I had a peace in made and was able to concentrate. I then finally, went on my dream holiday since I was a kid. I MADE IT TO NEW YORK CITY. It is my favourite place in the whole entire world and I need to live there. I can’t believe that it finally happened. It was like being in a film. I need to go back, I just know i belong there. I ended the year with a trip to Malaysia, Singapore and Langkawi. I never thought i’d go to east asia so soon but i love it there and want to go back! I reconnected with old friends from uni which was also nice this year. I didn’t expect there would be so much travel but i’d say it was my best travel year yet and i don’t think i’ll be able to top it.

The best thing ever to happen also happened. I met Timothèe Chalamet (again), you know the way it happened and let serve as a reminder to you, that YOU can always make it happen. I actually had a lovely conversation with him and got him to sign my copy of the french dispatch screenplay. I still can’t believe it happened. We got a photo together and i dont like it but who cares, the fact that I have met an Oscar winner to be is insane. It makes me believe in magic and like anything is possible! I may be delulu but i just know i was born to be famous and Timothèe and I will be colleagues one day lol. It made me so so so happy and was the most perfect way to end the year. And it makes me feel good about this year. But yeah seeing him now three times…

I focused more on some goals and there is one in particular I am making good progress with, and hope to more this year. I am also now living by myself in London in my own flat which I know my younger self would die at reading, but here I am loving it! It was a gift sent from Allah - the flat i’m in. Pure divine power how it happened so quickly. I definitely feel that in 2024 I was able to focus more on my goals and for the most part stay consistent, have a better mindset although we fail at times but so is life, i’ve also tried to improve myself more spiritually.

On the negative, I have had to learn the hard way who my real friends are, and went through some stresses like my flat move. Annoyingly, I also came to the realisation in summer that I no longer want to work where I do and have been struggling to find a job since May/June. So that’s been another thing i’ve been stressed with. Then there is the big M word although i try not to it’s always there in the back of my mind but i need to learn to surrender to time.

All in all, 2024 was a good year. I think as always, the passage of time and getting older and change are things that scare me the most but I need time to learn to be more present and embrace the now.

So long 2024 and my 27 year old self. Never thought i’d see the day when i’m 28, but here I am lying on the sofa on 1 January 2025, hearing my dad clear his throat up stairs, and you know what I have nothing to really complain or stress about. Alhamdulillah all is well and I need to practice gratitude more. How is it 2025?!

But yeah, 2024 you were a great one and will be very missed.

#personal #new year thoughts #new years thoughts