THEQUEEN_ANEEKA

A lover of love and beauty A Scorpio sun, Aries moon, AS Cancer, and MC Pieces. Living to feel alive and free Enjoy my mind my kings & queens Other tumblr: thelady-rene

[catswhokill]

[sublimequotesilove]

That’s the problem with drinking. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

Charles Bukowski. (via sublimequotesilove)

[dharmarainbow]

[dephus]

I don’t miss anyone who chooses to walk away from me because my soulmate would stay. If you walk, you’re not a loss.

(via ohteenscanrelate)

[wordsnquotes]

Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.

Mandy Hale (via wordsnquotes)

[smoaksgreen-blog]

[scorpioseason]

Happy Birthday to all my November 6 #SCORPIOS~ November 6th: The Day of Rousing Vigor

Nov 6 Scorpios have invigorating personalities & profound belief in their abilities & chances of success in this world

Strengths: Energetic, Stimulating, Optimistic

Weaknesses: Overconfident, Insensitive, Overly Physical

#scorpioseason #november6 #scorpios #happybirthday

[living-fitness]

[maureenjohnsonbooks]

9/11

I wrote this post in 2011, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. It was lost to Wordpress, but I found it, copied it, and pasted it here. I have not re-read it, but whatever it says is what I remember. I wrote it only in the hopes of providing just one picture of what New York was like that day. (Note: I didn’t correct it at the time, and since I just copied and pasted, I have not made any corrections or changes. So if there are dings, there are dings.)

******************************

I was in New York on 9/11, and I made a decision that day that I have kept for ten years. I decided never to write anything about it. The deluge was so complete. I had nothing to add. And I was getting very sick of the way it was being talked about—it really never stopped.

Keep reading

[keithurbanrocks]

[thequeen-aneeka]

I really want you to hate me I really want you to find That I am bitter and angry That I'm no mother of a child

I really want you to hate me I really want you to find That I'm the ugliest girl And I will never be a bride

There's no love for the wicked There's no love to survive There's no love can you listen There's no love and

I'm feeling high I wanna die

I really want you to hate me I really want you to find That I am far from a lady That I'm an animal inside

I really want you to hate me I really want you to find That I'm a pitiful girl That I'm the phoniest alive

There's no love for the wicked There's no love to survive There's no love can you listen There's no love and

I'm feeling high I wanna die

I'm feeling high I wanna die

There's no love for the wicked There's no love to survive There's no love can you listen There's no love and

I'm feeling high I wanna die

[thequeen-aneeka]

Please excuse the following rants/letters/inner pain thats about to be expressed

So much to get out and it must cause i have to move on.

[thequeen-aneeka]

Dear most recent heartbreak, I have a little to say to you.

I’ve kept quiet here but I have to release something to help release me to find my happiness.

I sit in that tasting room looking for you. My heart is still broken and I miss you. Your good and deserving of me  love.

You changed your mind and realized you weren't ready for us. 

How could you put me through another heartbreak after knowing what my love of people has done to me. 

 I know you were doing what is best for us but how could you hurt me the way you did. 

My love and loyalty for us was not what you truly wanted or deserved. 

Despite my beliefs and views of our possible future, it was not enough for someone who did not want it.

My gift, my love, it belongs elsewhere.

I walk around the town seeing your ghost, remembering all of our moments. 

But if you asked for another chance, how could I give it. It probably will never happened cause the one that is meant for the rest of your life would not treat you like you did me. 

Everyone said of course I thought we had a future based on what you said to me. Was it really nothing? Were you really just using me for a future you were imagining? 

Im struggling to fight these depressive thoughts while being in the town I want to start my future in. Im fighting those thoughts I am fighting those bad thoughts. 

When will I find the love I deserve? Where will I find the person that deserves to be my forever person? 

Please do not show up. I keep trying to not see you and at the same time, I keep trying to find you. Thank you for giving my heart more heartbreak and space to figure myself out

[thequeen-aneeka]

Dear Crux of my true pain and reason I haven’t healed yet,

I hope you are happy and feel complete and satisfied with your happiness in your life. I am so proud of you.

No has ever broken me quite like you.

You left me high, drunk, and empty without so much as a true apologize and understanding of the impact you had on my life. 

I won’t wait for an apology I feel I deserve cause how could someone so selfish truly realize their impact on others lives when it comes to negativity. 

You want to see the scars that were influenced by your treatment of me? They remain always with me. 

All you have of me are pictures of what was and you are focused on what will be for you. How could you cheat on me with her? How could you not care enough to end things before doing what you did? I guess you will never ever be able to be monogamous truly. But that was what truly did it You said you could be for me and found out, while being with me, you could not. I was me. Another one. Someone you were looking elsewhere to satisfy something I wasn’t. 

I know I am still broken up about us. So much has happened since I really lost myself and you. I hope someday I can really move on. But despite the time, something keeps triggering me and reminding me of what happened and bad things happen. 

The other night I watched a show of a girl that had a breakdown similar to mine the night I committed suicide. It’s been 7 months, I am starting a new job and trying to get a new life started for me. But that scene brought back the memories of that night that led up to my truest beginning of breaking.

How could you do this? How could you hurt someone who cared and loved you like I did? I guess it may be easier to forget when you do not have to see or deal with the person you hurt. 

How could you cheat on me...twice and not care...  You cared more about yourself and the girl you loved and cheated on me with. 

But I am no ones truest love yet cause I am not yet truly loving myself or happy alone. You really made sure of that. 

But I am trying. I am fighting. I still have bad thoughts, pain, and sink into my bad habits.

I am not the same girl or woman anymore. I am fighting all the bad karma and series of unfortunate events that keep occurring in my life this year but sometimes I still want to get back up there for that peace. 

I can’t blame you though can you. I am not in the right mainframe. I am not the woman I should be yet to deserve or receive the love I truly deserve. Everyday I try to be better and some nights like tonight, I sink back into those depressive thoughts.

This is all,

Despite the pain I still am enduring, I hope you are happy. I am proud that you can publicly state how in love you are with someone. I guess I will always be someone in your closet. 

I have to stop hoping I am the girl that will make the change in people. 

Sincerely,

Me

[jordanmarvelley]

[thealienemily]

[wnq-writers]

There’s something godly yet sinful about loving her.

hasher-iwm (via wordsnquotes)