Yeah, we can tell you're hammered

[softavasilva]

DARCY LEWIS in  WANDAVISION | S1EP6 All-New Halloween Spooktacular

[thequeenoftasers]

stark-withthesuit‌:

Now, Darcy, as thoughtful as that was– who said I ever needed a cake to do that?

Oh my god, seriously, can I watch? That’s, like, all of my wet dreams coming true.

[thequeenoftasers]

shadowedxkitty‌:

The longer I stare the less adequate I feel.

Dude, no, your ass is the perfect round shape I aim for. 

[thequeenoftasers]

xcarolxdanversx‌:

Should I be concerned about imagining me naked next?

I think my line of duty is going to have to stop you there. If that guy takes his shirt off the health and wellbeing of every women and probably men is at risk.

You’re next on my list, hot stuff. I can’t leave out the ladies.

Isn’t part of the fun worth the risk? Oh, come on, I know you can’t resist hunky man beef smorgasbord on a silver platter. Welcome to my candy store, blondie.

[thequeenoftasers]

xcarolxdanversx‌:

I don’t know what to say. I think you’ve actually made me speechless.

That’s the reaction I get from most people. Oh! My erotica doesn’t just stop at Tony. I have one for every Avenger, a majority including Thor.

I’m considering going over there and pouring my drink on his shirt. Then he’ll just have to take it off.

[thequeenoftasers]

xcarolxdanversx‌:

This seems like a synopsis of one of those cheesy erotica novels.

You mean the cheesy erotica novel I’m writing right now? I already have one written for the happy couple and it is tingling my downtown.

[thequeenoftasers]

tictacscotty‌:

I’m suddenly feeling way underdressed– I didn’t know this was a mega black-tie affair.

I must say, sir, you’re doing the ladies a fan service in those jeans.

[thequeenoftasers]

xcarolxdanversx‌:

The pity invite is kind of insulting but I also don’t know what we’re supposed to be celebrating so I call it even – slightly.

Engagement of America’s really hot patriotic boy toy and Stark Master. Don’t worry, I was probably a pity invite too.

[thequeenoftasers]

shadowedxkitty‌:

I wasn’t looking – oh my god that’s… that’s an ass.

Oh my god, it’s not just an ass, it’s the ass to end all asses.

[thequeenoftasers]

stark-withthesuit‌:

Darcy– a harassment case on my engagement party is not a gift.

It’s not harassment when I speak observation. Uh, and in case you were wondering, I got you the best gift ever. It’s a cake in the shape of America’s ass.

Now you can literally eat him out.

[thequeenoftasers]

Holy shit, did you see the size of that girl’s ass in that dress? 

[thequeenoftasers]

tictacscotty‌:

“I’m gonna let it slide that you just grabbed off my plate, but anytime you’re hungry for waffle o’clock– I’ll make you some,” Scott said with a grin as he forked another bite of the waffle into his mouth, “deal?”

“Oh, sorry, was I being totally rude?” Darcy picked up her knife and cut the waffle in uneven pieces before taking a bite. “Okay, deal, but I should warn you, Mister Tiny Man, I’m very picky with how my waffles are made. They have to be perfect.”

[thequeenoftasers]

xthor-wielderofthunderx‌:

It is… ah– something, Darcy.

I believe the correct answer is ‘thank you so much, Darcy, you are a chef extraordinaire and I don’t know what I’d do without you’.

[thequeenoftasers]

xpeter-parkerx‌:

At least I didn’t blow up the lab again.

Again? What the hell are you trying to make in here?

[thequeenoftasers]

tictacscotty‌:

Waffles are good any time of day.

“Oh my god, neato, I want some.” Darcy dragged a chair to the table and didn’t bother asking permission as she nicked the waffle on top of Scott’s stack. “I’m starved.”

[thequeenoftasers]

xpeter-parkerx‌:

Ugh– too much voltage.

Dude.

[thequeenoftasers]

xthor-wielderofthunderx‌:

Sure, yes– it is great. See, I am eating it.

I did good, huh? Mish mashing broth and a whole box of your favorite poptarts was pure genius.