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@thequestionsofmychild
The Pooh Characters Hadn't Changed… But I Had
I never expected Winnie the Pooh to teach me anything about sensory processing. And I certainly never expected to see Tigger, Piglet, Eeyore and Pooh again a couple of years later… standing at the front of a church. But that’s exactly what happened. Way back in 2024 I attended a Sunflower Sensory Support training session for Parents. Ironically, the training had been recommended by my son’s…
What Do My Balls Do?
Now this might not be what you were expecting to read in a blog about PDA parenting or any parenting blog for that matter but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that children ask questions when you least expect them. And in our house, no question is ever off limits. Actually, this one wasn’t even asked in the house. It was asked in the car. We’d been to a local river where children paddle…
Does the sun melt away the clouds?
I loved this question – does the sun melt away the clouds? We were getting in the car on the school run and it was supposed to be hot. Really hot. The kind of hot weather that dominates the news and has everyone talking (complaining) about it. So hot some schools were closing – don’t get me started on that one! One rule for the government, one for parents. Like a true cult!! My son had been…
Is a Broken Bone the Same as a Fracture? What Does a Cast Do? A Parent’s Reflection
For the first time in weeks, I thought I’d got a full afternoon to myself. That sounds dramatic, but when your life revolves around collecting your child from school every lunchtime, an uninterrupted afternoon feels like a luxury. Since March, my son had been coming home from school every dinner time. We’d missed a week of school in March and, since then, the only way he felt comfortable enough…
Can You Take a Picture of Me? PDA Bedtime Ritual Explained
Photos and my son are an interesting combination. Throughout his life, he has never really enjoyed having his photo taken. Most of the time I’ve had to tread very carefully if I wanted a picture of him. That’s been difficult because every year I make each of my children a photobook, which they receive on their birthday. It’s filled with memories from the previous year, a reminder of all the…
Why do we always see people we know?
PDA and social situations have always been a complicated mix for my son. We live in a small town population approximately 22,000. There is only one secondary school here, so all the children end up going to the same place. That means you know everyone: the children in your year, the years above, the years below. Unless people move away, the likelihood is that every single time you leave the…
What’s Your Plan for Today? The Reality of Parenting Exhaustion
Each morning I have a very quick shower and approximately ten minutes to get dressed, dry my hair and put some make-up on. In those ten minutes, my son can shout me several times, mainly just to check I’m not far away. The parenting exhaustion is real. And in those same ten minutes, I try to have a conversation with my husband about what’s happening that day. I always ask: “What’s your plan for…
The Elastic Band Ball Obsession: Parenting a Child with Intense Interests
Are you part of the secret club? A Birthday Reflection
Last year, on my birthday, I wrote myself a letter. I told myself to keep drinking the tea. To hold on. To notice even the tiniest shift. This week, I turn 43. And I read that letter back. The tea is still there. But these days I’ve added coffee to the mix. Tea keeps me alive. Coffee helps me feel alive. Maybe that’s the most honest summary of where I am right now with SEND parenting and my…
Have the clocks ever been normal?
Time. Such a simple word for something that feels impossible to hold onto. Lately, it feels like time has been slipping away from me. Not gradually. Not gently. Just… gone. I spend most, if not all, of my time doing what I have to do, what other people need and not what I want to do. And it’s leading to a level of parenting exhaustion I didn’t expect. I’m angry.At the world.At how things have…
What Colour is Calm?
Tense… lately, very tense. Parenting a child with PDA (a profile often described within autism) has taught me that calm doesn’t always look like calm. PDA emotional regulation can look like holding it all together… until suddenly you can’t. It was the Easter holidays and I’d hoped, like every PDA parent does, that my son would rest. Reset. Breathe a little. But what I saw instead was…
Grandma, can you please just stop talking?
There are many things I’ve learnt parenting my PDA son, but one of the most important is around PDA communication strategies, and has been this… Say less. Learn to communicate… by not talking. It sounds simple. Almost too simple. But in reality, it goes against every instinct you have as a parent. Because we are taught to talk. To reassure.To soothe.To fix.To fill the silence with something…
What's your mileage?
The mileage of your car. I bet you have never even really thought about it much. Well my son does. He absolutely loves it. This is his hypernumeracy at play. You might keep an eye on your mileage so you know when you need a service. Or you just keep an eye on it for when its getting old. I have always had old cars so always had a lot of mileage on my cars…although I actually don’t do that many…
Why is School Avoidance back? When the PDA Burnout Cycle starts again on Mother's Day
This post is for all the mums out there…but more than anything, for the mums raising children with additional needs, especially the PDA mums. And especially the PDA mums locked in a burnout cycle. This shit is hard. Really fucking hard. And if you’re living the PDA burnout cycle, you’ll know exactly what I mean Mother’s Day in our house doesn’t look like the adverts. I’ve learned not to have…
Am I a Christian?
It was Saturday morning and my son was chilling on the sofa when he started a conversation the same way he starts many of them… “Can I ask you a question?” That conversation starter always fascinates me. It’s as if he’s been weighing up whether he should ask the question at all, and he needs permission before he lets it out. Whenever he says it, I mentally prepare myself because I genuinely…
PDA Teeth Brushing- Is it a Vampire Tooth?
This one’s for the parents of neurodivergent kids who battle the toothbrush like it’s a wild animal. PDA teeth brushing is one of those battles that nobody warns you about. Sensory sensitivities coupled with the demand of the brushing and having to do it twice a day is nothing short of a military operation!! This time last year we were deep in burnout. My son wasn’t attending school. He wasn’t…
Does my sister love her friends more than her family?
I have two children — a daughter and a son. My daughter is 16 and has now left school, and my son is 7, so there are 9 years between them. This is quite a big gap for siblings and is down to circumstance rather than choice, and it has shaped their relationship in ways that are different to siblings closer in age. Add into that the fact my son splits his time between my house and his dad’s house,…