His friend's grip on his neck loosened, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. His head was spinning, his stomach in knots, mind focused only on their kiss. He could still feel her lips on his, soft and inviting. His first kiss... He never imagined it would be with Lyra, if only because he didn't think there was any possibility of her having any sort of positive feelings towards him. But, all night, she'd been so bold, teasing him and hugging him, and what seemed like flirting! Was it all leading up to this?
Still, the questions lingered in his head - Did she initiate the kiss because she wanted to, or because he had tried to? His heart was pounding at the possible answers. It was one or the other, clearly, and though he figured it was the latter, his heart desperately wished for the former. Silver still couldn't even look at her, eyes locked onto the bland carpet, feeling so out of it that even the texture of the stitching made him woozy.
"No… Silver…” She suddenly spoke, and he tensed up once again. “W-When you tried to kiss me earlier… I… I’ve never wanted anything so badly in my entire life.” His eyes widened severely, jaw clenching in disbelief. Surely he'd misheard that? She... Wanted to kiss him? She would have been... Okay with it, had he gone through with it? ”I’ve liked you for so long, and now, I…I… I’m sorry, it’s just really hard to… word… it…”
"...What?" It was the only thing he managed to choke out after hearing that. She had more to say, surely, but that stuck out to him more than anything. "Y-You... I... What?" She liked him... She liked him? She wouldn't say it like that if she just liked him as a friend. She... Liked him? It swarmed around in his head like an angry hive. She had romantic feelings for Silver? Of all people?
He was so cruel and cold, distant and unfeeling... He never knew love or affection, he never let anyone near his blackened heart for fear of being hurt again. He was a coward, and called others out for being the same. He was just a hypocrite. He tried so hard to be strong, but he was just so weak. He was scared to let her be his friend. He was scared when she began to have such an impact on his life. What did she see in him? What could she find within his broken soul that was worth caring about? Silver didn't understand it, not one bit.
But despite this, he found himself feeling something he thought he would never feel again - Happiness. True happiness. He felt his withered heart soaring through the skies, blood rushing to his cheeks as he tried to hold back the most ridiculous grin. The only person he really and truly cared for... The girl that meant the world to him... Actually liked him. Never in his wildest dreams would this have ever happened. He just didn't think it was possible for someone to feel this way about him.
"I kissed you because I wanted to. When you tried to e-earlier, it… it just made me realize how much I…” In a fit of embarrassment, Lyra's grasp around his neck tightened again. “How much I’ve wanted… you—” As if his eyes couldn't get any wider! By now he'd gotten brave enough to actually look at her - Or, a better word would be 'gawk'. He was just gawking at her in amazement. Was this real? Was she actually saying these things? This wasn't a dream... He'd concluded that earlier. She actually... Meant this, right...?
"All this time… I’ve been so nervous to even say any of this to you…" She lifted her head to press their foreheads together. His face must have been darker than his hair by now. "I-It’s okay if you don’t really know what to feel right now…” There was a pause, before she sighed and mumbled, “That kiss… it… it was… Really nice….”
She liked it... She liked the kiss! Even though it was his first and he was fumbling left and right, she still thought it was okay? Maybe it was her first, too... If she had experience, there was no way that would have been acceptable, right? Or, maybe she was okay with it because... It was him...? Lyra brushed her fingers through her hair, the locks falling in front of her. She looked happy, and a bit excited. “Silver… did you… did you like.. the kiss..?”
Throwing all kinds of information and questions at him was going to give him a heart attack. Before he could manage an answer, she grasped onto his shoulders as she readjusted herself, now straddling his lap. He couldn't resist holding a hand over his eyes in sheer embarrassment. No, she could never annoy him, but she could certainly get him flustered pretty easily. All he managed was a tiny nod to answer her question - He did like the kiss. Did she even see it? He had no clue.
“Silver… do.. d-do you… want to do it… again?” Lyra eventually asked after a while, causing a small choking noise to come from Silver. Was she asking if he wanted to kiss her again?! She was so bold! Though, if she was asking, then... Did that mean she wanted to kiss him again, too...? He soon dropped his hand completely, eyebrows furrowed and face stained red. Well, of course he wanted to kiss her again, if she was offering, but... How would he say yes...?
"I-I, uh..." He knew himself too well, he wouldn't be able to just say yes, he'd just have to do it. So, he carefully, almost shyly wrapped his arms around her back, pausing before pulling her forward slowly. He wouldn't chicken out this time, they'd already kissed once. He could do it this time! The closer they got, the faster his heart pounded, he could hear it echoing in his ears. Just do it, just do it, just do it! Taking a deep breath, he tightened his embrace and closed the distance between them, capturing her lips in his own.
Still anxious and unsure of how this whole thing worked, he kissed her slowly, almost lovingly. His lips tingled with her touch, his face heating up beyond belief, but all Silver wanted was to have her close to him. The feeling of intimacy was something he never knew, and was unaware it was something he craved until now. It was special because it was Lyra. He wouldn't want to be like with with anyone but her. Was this... Love?