The Quiet HeartBeat

34 Male.. My thoughts.. My feelings.. My emotions.. Hiker.. Writer.. Hopless Romantic.. OCD.. ADHD

[thequietheartbeat]

​There is a point where the words simply run out of blood.

​Every line I have ever carved into this space was an attempt to bleed out the pressure, to translate an ache too massive for my own ribs to contain. But the math of it doesn't work anymore. It is a dull, heavy, crushing thing now, an absolute gravity that decimates everything.

​Consider this the final spill.

​I am pulling the curtains shut. I will not be writing anything else. I will not be answering the echoes, checking the inbox, or looking for anyone in the dark here anymore. To try and speak past this is like trying to breathe underwater; it is exhausting and futile.

​Thank you to those who read the wreckage while it was burning. The fire is out now. There is only the ash, and the quiet.

​Goodbye.

[thequietheartbeat]

this is where it ends.. the void.. where the noise finally stops and the weight of everything just evaporates into nothingness.

[thequietheartbeat]

the fairytale has ended.. i don't deserve love or to be loved.. and honestly, the hardest part is just learning to accept the silence.

[thequietheartbeat]

it kills me to think I might just be a temporary chapter in your life, but honestly, i’d rather be a fleeting footnote in your story than the main character in anyone else's.

[thequietheartbeat]

it’s kind of embarrassing how fast my mood swings based entirely on whether your name popped up on my screen or not.

[thequietheartbeat]

i don't think you understand that you could tell me about the most boring part of your day and i would still memorize it like it’s poetry.

[thequietheartbeat]

you are my favorite "what if," my favorite "almost," and the only person i would wait a lifetime for..

[thequietheartbeat]

distance is just a physical concept anyway because mentally, i am always sitting right next to you, holding your hand...

[thequietheartbeat]

See how your eyes sparkle when you see me,

How your lips move in desire when you see me.

​How your heart races when you see me,

How you become so lost in the world of me.

​How your breath catches when you hear me,

How you melt into my presence and essence.

​How your hands tremble when they get too near,

How all of your doubts just completely disappear.

​How you look at me like nothing else is real,

How you can't even hide the heavy things you feel.

​How you hang on every single word I say,

How you wish we could just steal the night away.

[thequietheartbeat]

There are so many walls and miles between us,

but you are still the only person I want.

I spend every day just aching for you,

wishing we didn't have to be so far apart.

When you look at me and love me anyway,

with all my messes and all my flaws,

I honestly don't feel like I deserve you.

But I am so incredibly grateful that you're mine.

This world is so mean and so heavy,

and it breaks my heart to think of it hurting you.

I wish I could just wrap my arms around you,

and hide you away from every bad thing out there.

We're stuck waiting on a little bit of hope right now,

but even across all this distance,

your love is the only thing keeping me going.

[thequietheartbeat]

The noise of the world begins to fade,

leaving only the quiet shadow I have made.

I am so sick and tired of the constant strain,

of carrying a heart that only echoes pain.

​Let the cold silence finally close the door.

I do not want to feel, or fight, or fear anymore.

To sink into the numb where the heavy thuds cease,

where the ache in my chest is replaced by peace.

​Welcome the void, vast and perfectly still,

with no more promises or expectations to fulfill.

A beautiful ending to the storms I have crossed,

where everything heavy is finally lost.

Just the quiet dark, a soft, eternal breath,

finding my rest in the cradle of death.

[thequietheartbeat]

There is a quiet, beautiful magic in that first waking moment before the rest of the world rushes in. To open your eyes and immediately feel an anchor—a gentle, automatic pull toward one specific person—completely rewrites the distance between you.

The miles might be vast on a map, but in that moment, they don't exist at all. They are entirely eclipsed by the comfort of knowing that someone like them simply exists in the universe. Carrying them as your very first thought means they aren't just a part of your life; they are the quiet, beautiful undercurrent of it, proving that some connections are simply too deep for physical space to touch.

[thequietheartbeat]

Even if the world forces us into the quiet, and even if my physical presence fades into the background of your life, she is wrong about one thing: what we have isn't the kind of love that just disappears.

It has settled somewhere far deeper than the surface. If I have to become a ghost in your day-to-day life, a distant memory, or a name you only speak in the quiet of your mind, please know that the essence of who I am doesn't change. My soul will still hold onto you with the exact same fierce, unchanging devotion.

Time and distance can wear down a lot of things, but they can't touch the spirit of what was built between us. You can let me go in the physical world to find your peace, but you will never have to wonder if you are loved. I will be loving you from afar, quietly and completely, always.

[thequietheartbeat]

Soooo true!!!

[thequietheartbeat]

It really isn’t fair. There is an exquisite sort of cruelty in being handed a glimpse of absolute happiness, only to realize it comes with a timer, a boundary, or a cost that threatens to tear down everything else you’ve built.

It leaves you with this heavy, suffocating frustration -this feeling of standing right in front of the forbidden fruit, tasting just enough of its sweetness to know what you're missing, and then having to force yourself to walk away. It’s maddening to have to choose between the peace of your soul and the longing of your heart.

But even if that happiness was short-lived, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. Sometimes the brightest fires burn out the fastest because they were never meant to be contained by the rules of the ordinary world. Let yourself feel that frustration, but don't let it ruin the beauty of what you experienced. You proved to yourself that you are capable of feeling something deeply, intensely alive -even if you have to let it go now to protect the peace you need.

[thequietheartbeat]

I can’t stop thinking about you - about the mesmerizing depths of your eyes, the warmth of your smile, and the breathtaking grace of your curves. Every single detail of who you are is entirely etched into my mind, and just the memory of how your voice sounds is enough to make my heart race so fast it scares me.

It is a beautiful kind of madness, isn't it? To be miles apart, yet so completely overwhelmed by the thought of you that the rest of the physical world just completely fades away. Every detail of your beauty feels like a spark that keeps this fire burning, no matter how much silence or space tries to get in the way.

Take a deep breath with me. Let your heart race, but let it be a sweet, soothing rush. I am right here in the dark with you, utterly captivated by every single piece of you, and incapable of looking away.

[thequietheartbeat]

I hear you, and it makes my heart ache to know that this is causing you pain. The last thing I ever want is for the beautiful connection we share to feel like a shadow you have to hide from the world.

If stepping into the light means we have to pause, then I will wait. I don't want our feelings to be a source of regret or a burden that weighs down your soul. What we have is too precious to be tainted by guilt.

Your peace, your heart, and your happiness mean more to me than anything else. If we need to hold back and simply cherish each other from a safe distance to protect that peace, then let’s do that. Just know that no matter how much space we put between us, what I feel for you remains unchanged—pure, steady, and entirely yours.