Joke Caldron

The world is one big joke.

[theraizen33]

🤘🏻🌕 (at San Antonio, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CO1HjjGM88l/?igshid=1r9n48gbb9s59

[theraizen33]

I am currently asking for help of any kind to support me in my life for essentials that I need to get to live. Anything is appreciated and I am eternally grateful for everything that I have and everything that I get I do admit I am more fortunate than others although I would like to break free from this monotony that has become my life and pursue my dreams of making people happy whether it be through music, comedy, art, and or fictional drama, or interpretive dance. I do plan on releasing content daily whether it be appealing to most and repulsive to some or neutral grounds whatever I put out and will pertain to content creation with the goal of self happiness which in turn should transfer to making people happy in theory. I will put it into practice from now on and I hate to ask for money to help me do these sort of things but if you do like my work show some love throw a man a buck or two and I will do my hardest not to disappoint in fact I may even do personalized artwork in any medium I choose for 20 bucks or more. Thank you and I love all of you guys and I hope love spreads like wildfire. (at San Antonio, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLnlztFHJW4/?igshid=1krj1ht7r55qw

[theraizen33]

at San Antonio, Texas https://www.instagram.com/p/CLa5iAkn2hH/?igshid=1e4k70y6gj73g

[theraizen33]

at San Antonio, Texas https://www.instagram.com/p/CKUpXg3MSdR/?igshid=1kws6b8wxmqfw

[theraizen33]

[theraizen33]

[theraizen33]

Surround me with an absolute certainty, that death is truly a certain absolute, but also energy is neither created nor destroyed. So do we remain as a half-life after any being passes? (at San Antonio, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CC2KQCHH__I/?igshid=1djxhbm25ul5i

[theraizen33]

Born Again

Born again Christians aren't that bad, I mean they receive the body and soul of Christ once born again on the fly. The only bad thing I see is having to clean up all the after birth every time they are born again. Or perhaps I misunderstood that sect. I should do more research.

[theraizen33]

Time Machine

If I were to go back in time and time travel existed, I would go back to the day Jesus Christ sacrificed himself on the cross and as he suffered on the cross and the Romans were turned around scratching their asses and eating bread, I'd go up to Jesus and whisper, "Hey, Jesus. Here's a little something something from the future." He would say, "What is it my son, What is it? I'm suffering for your sins?" I would continue, " This is some black tar heroin so may you suffer less, because I cannot stand to see you suffering and no one help." So I would just find a vein, pop it in, and watch as he gently nods off. He would probably exclaim," I cannot save you for this, I hope you understand." I would say," I know Jesus, I know... But I'll take my chances bro.".

[theraizen33]

Random Facts

The last time I. Took a shower. I ended up. Cleaning. Almost everything. Except for my armpits, because I washed them earlier with country style gravy.

[theraizen33]

Tweeker

Tweaker: Definition: The Tweaker version of Twitch. I.e. (in southern farmland voice) Me and my wife are gonna smoke meth all day and post another video on our tweaker.tv.

[theraizen33]

What's Happening in...

The world today, whittle it down two a small town in Texas. Next to San Antonio, called Converse. Where the shoes even made? In Converse, or did converse literally just buy a plot of land, named it Converse didn't even bother to open up a shoe factory there?Also, where's Vans county at? Timberlands county?

[theraizen33]

Deadpan attempt 1

One day. A little boy asked his mom, "Hey Mom, can we fly?" The mom, said, "No son of course, we can't fly we're not birds. We have no wings." The boy a little older, asked his mom again, "Hey mom, can we fly?" Mom said no son, now I told you this when you were a little kid, people can't fly we have no wings and we're not a birds. Later on in his mid twenties, he told his mum, "Mom, I found a way to fly?" And she said "son I am tired of telling you this, I told you this many times, we can't fly there's no way no how that we could fly!" The son said, "Well mom actually, I am catching a flight overseas this weekend so I guess you were wrong huh?"

[theraizen33]

Godless

The last time i believed in a soul, i needed my Kia to get me to Washington with only 50 bucks in gas. Since when does an entity need advertising on giant billboards? I mean if omnipotence is true, then why all the ads? Couldn't God just Will its way into our hearts? I had a devine intervention the other day. All my family wrote me letters saying how they missed the old me and that i was losing control. Then a bunch of cameras popped out of nowhere and followed me to the convenient clinic, where i purchased several malt liquors. I think it was just a regular intervention though since it wasn't as effective as a "devine" one insinuates.

[theraizen33]

Jesú Chrisť

The New fragrance that is to die for... Jesú Chrisť By Jaco -N- Flan infused with holy water, the essence of iron, natural wood chipped away from a crusifix kept in Vatican vaults for centuries. Frankincense and mir to give that, "Just Risen," feel to anyone you pass on by. Lasts for three days and comes in a golden cross bottle blessed by every preacher and priest from all Christian denominations. Jesú Chrisť :All new special offer, all Christians receive half off with mail-in rebate and 10% will go to the pockets of any priest or preacher of your choosing.

[theraizen33]

Commercial

You've heard of the great rock n' roll band The Beatles, but did you know that there was a cover band that not only covered classics like "Something," but these guys made great hits of their own... Introducing The Gay Beatles! 

with classic hits such as...

Theodor Bigby

Acrossdress Universe 

Helterrrr Skelterrrr (say in eccentric voice)

Gay Dude

My Sweet Gay Lord

While My Gay Lover Gently Weeps

Black Buldge and many, many more!!! Call today to order your copy of "The Gay Beatles Cover Band" Super Hits. Limited time available to order they are going fast so call 1-800-6969-GAY Credit Card and Money Orders are accepted so call NOW!

[theraizen33]

Stand up joke that has it’s origins here on Tumblr.