it can be draining.

— an original character by maddie.

[tarjeiholms]

Armie Hammer in Free Fire (2016)

[therapise-blog]

journalistiq.

    “go ahead and assume, moss. it’s yours, too.“ she doesn’t get when people keep this stuff to themselves. she’d much rather go into it with her husband. god knows she’d freak out in a hospital room on her own. “but i do need to ask you something.”

charlie’s follow-up yanks him into a memory of less pleasant times, when they were uncertain and untrusting and full of nothing but questions.

but they’re in love now, right? they’re good now, right?

         ‘ --- yeah? ’

[therapise-blog]

journalistiq.

“You just wanna keep me chubby so you’ve got an excuse,” she says, setting a loving hand against the roundest part of his stomach as she tucks herself into his side. He’s right, though – about a backup kid. Plus it’d be nice for Billie to have some company growing up, because God knows she’s gonna feel lonely in this neighborhood if she’s anything like her parents.

       “I don’t think she’ll be a serial killer.” She’s way too energetic a baby for that. Too happy. “Maybe an arsonist.”

         ‘ come on, it’s got nothing to do with me. ’ it’s a halfhearted attempt at a lie  ---  his tone gives him right away. and as if on cue, he’s holding his breath and sinking further into the couch to save himself the embarrassment of having an unconcealed and very soft tummy under her touch.

         ‘ i like your thinking. ’ he reaches up and tucks some of charlie’s hair behind her ear. ‘ we could start a collection of baby criminals. our own little gang. ’

[therapise-blog]

journalistiq.

     charlie pauses to frown in his direction, utterly confused. does he not realise that he’s got an open invitation to everything? “well, someone’s gotta look at the scan.”

         ‘ you know i don’t like to assume. ’ even if he’s her ride. the pre-baby jitters are getting to him, a little bit; impeding his ability to think rationally. ‘ i mean, i’d hate for you to do it alone --- ’

[therapise-blog]

         ‘ can i --- ’ oops! he doesn’t want to sound overeager. ( but he is. ) ‘ should i tag along for this appointment? ’

@journalistiq.

[yourarmiehammer-blog]

thisisechambers 8 courses, 4 hours and endless love. Happy 30th to the perfect soulmate and most incredible human–inside and out. 💕

[therapise-blog]

journalistiq.

“We’ve been gross, for sure.” But even through the stress, Charlie smiles into the kiss. Honestly, she’s never felt more content with her life than she does right now, and she owes pretty much all of it to the guy beside her.

Leaning back and out of the way, Charlie strips off her puke-y shirt and uses the clean part of it to wipe the last of Billie’s lunch off of the side of her neck. “I’d be nervous in her shoes. I mean, she’s spent nine months swimming about by herself, and now she’s gotta deal with us. Poor kid.”

        “Kind of disturbing phrasing, but I’ll roll with it.”

He buttons Billie up the rest of the way, then leans down to pinch her tiny, chubby feet between his fingers and kiss her tiny, chubby toes. The kid’ll be spoiled rotten before she speaks her first word.

        “What’a you say we let the little one nap it off? You and I get washed up  ---  five minutes? We can take the baby monitor with us.”

[therapise-blog]

journalistiq.

“I’ll get chunky again,” she says, even though she’s made no effort at all to lose the baby weight yet. If she’s being honest, she figured they’d be having this conversation soon enough anyway – and why lose the weight just to put it back on? And so she smiles at him, all grateful and content and so in love, and sighs her heaviest sigh like it’s a burden. “Fine, I guess. If we really have to.”

         “You know I’m a fan.” Of ‘chunky’ Charlie, that is. She looks happy, healthy, and she’s never better to cuddle up to. Moss, on the other hand, winds up sucking in and wearing baggy clothes to avoid having to reference couvade syndrome before the end of every goddamn conversation. ( Almost always in vain. He was showing first, last time around. )

         “We need at least one backup kid, you know? Just in case Billie turns out to be  ---  like, a serial killer, or something.”

[therapise-blog]

         “Let’s have another one,” he says, Billie out cold in his lap. He has to offset the sincerity, the ‘I’m so in love with you’ dripping from each word, so he follows it up with an almost-joke, gentle delivery. “Didn’t realize how heavily I was leaning on that ‘sympathy weight’ excuse.”

@journalistiq.

[amourade-a-deactivated20190724]

howl’s moving castle sentence meme.

❛  looks like a little mouse lost its way.  ❜

❛  leave me alone.  ❜

❛  where to? i’ll be your escort.  ❜

❛  don’t get alarmed, but i’m being followed. act normal.  ❜

❛  sorry, looks like you’re involved.  ❜

❛  are you listening?  ❜

❛  i want to know what you want.  ❜

❛  it’s your life — do something for yourself for once.  ❜

❛  you sound ghastly! like some ninety year old woman!  ❜

❛  make up your mind! are you gonna let me in or not?  ❜

❛  just keep quiet and don’t cause any trouble.  ❜

❛  i’m not taking any orders from you! ❜

❛  so, what do you have hidden in your pocket?  ❜

❛  that can’t be good for the table.  ❜

❛  please – help – falling — i’m falling —  ❜

❛  you okay?  ❜

❛  no — i’ve seen all that i can take.  ❜

❛  i give up. i see no point in living if i can’t be beautiful.  ❜

❛  i can’t stand how scared i am.  ❜

❛  don’t worry, i’ll follow behind you in disguise.  ❜

❛  why do i feel like this isn’t going to work?  ❜

❛  wait — help — i can’t make it —  ❜

❛  pull yourself together. isn’t this what you’ve been waiting for?  ❜

❛  what on earth happened to you?  ❜

❛  whatever you do, don’t look down.  ❜

❛  you saved me. i was in big trouble back there.  ❜

❛  don’t try to be cute — i’m still not going to trust you.  ❜

❛  i missed you.  ❜

❛  go away.  ❜

❛  you’re too late.  ❜

❛  this isn’t going to be easy.  ❜

❛  i said move.  ❜

❛  it’s a present for you.  ❜

❛  i feel so at home.  ❜

❛  so, you are going away.  ❜  

❛  uh-oh, here they come.  ❜  

❛  no, don’t let go!  ❜  

❛  i’m too old to be treated like this!  ❜  

❛  strapping young men are so difficult to deal with.  ❜  

❛  you’ll forgive me, won’t you?  ❜  

❛  we’re a family now!  ❜  

❛  i’m sorry, i should’ve gotten here sooner.  ❜  

❛  i don’t care if you’re a monster!  ❜  

❛  i’ve had enough of running away.  ❜  

❛  and now, i’ve got something i want to protect.  ❜  

❛  there’s no time to lose, we have to try something!  ❜  

❛  i don’t know what’s gonna happen, but i’m sure it can’t be good. ❜  

❛  told you we should’ve stayed put. ❜  

❛  they say that the best blaze brightest when circumstances are at their worst.  ❜  

(distressed wheezing)

❛  i just can’t seem to stop crying.  ❜  

❛  i didn’t mean to make you wait this long.  ❜  

❛  don’t look at me, i don’t have it. i don’t know what you’re talking about.  ❜  

❛  you’d better take good care of it.  ❜  

❛  i feel terrible.. like there’s a weight on my chest.  ❜  

❛  a heart’s a heavy burden.  ❜

❛  one thing you can always count on is that hearts change.  ❜  

[therapise-blog]

journalistiq.

They’ve been lucky. Luckier than most people in their situation – than most people in the world. Of all the billions, how many people actually come across a soulmate? It’s insane.

     “Good,” she says, stepping in closer. “Couldn’t really be a power couple if you didn’t, right?”

         “ --- This took a turn,” he says, after he’s laughed at her latest comment and stolen a kiss. He’s careful not to tighten his grip on Charlie’s injured hand in the process.

         “I thought we were hating on the neighbors. This feels pretty lovey-fuckin’-dovey to me.” He smiles again. “Where did we go wrong?”

[therapise-blog]

journalistiq.

      Despite the fact that she’s never in her life been nervous about anything, Charlie is really fucking scared about being a mother. There’s certain things that just terrify her – like leaving Billie to sleep alone, or changing her diaper on one of those high-up table things. She wonders if it’ll always be like this, or if week one is the same for everybody.

     She’s kneeling on the carpet with a grizzling Billie in front of her, taking off the kid’s third spit-up covered onesie of the morning, when she hears Moss come in. “Oh, hey,” she says, all casual, like she isn’t about to have a vomit induced breakdown. “Can you grab me another shirt and something for Billie? We, uh… We had a bit of an accident. Again.”

         “We’ve been busy, huh?”

After he’s grabbed what they need, Moss kneels next to Charlie, places his hand on her back for balance, and leans in to give her a kiss ( disregarding that they’re both disgusting ). Before he moves on to cleaning up, he can’t help holding out an oversized index finger for Billie to grab. He smiles, toothy and enamored ( and a little bit tired! ), and starts to pull on her clean clothes.

         “You must be as nervous as we are, sea monkey.”

[therapise-blog]

@journalistiq.  —  cont.

  “No, shh,” she says, because it’s all she can think to say right now.

It’s strange. Of the two of them, he’s usually the one who’s got his shit together. She has to rely on him for so much, and it’s always just him giving and her taking, but he’d always seemed strong enough for it. Now, she knows that nobody’s made of fucking steel. She can’t even believe she’s been so insensitive as to not worry about him at all.

Charlie kneels down in front of him, tucking her hair behind her ears before she puts her hands on his knees . He can hold them, if he wants. She just needs Moss to know that she’s there for him.

     “What’s wrong, honey? Can you breathe a little slower for me? Can you tell me what happened?”

He doesn’t know how to communicate that he can’t talk beyond his initial statement without  ---  talking, so Moss waves a shaky hand off to his side, forgetting for the moment that Charlie can’t see it. He corrects himself quickly by finding and squeezing her fingers, then retracting his own and working hard to internalize the whole thing. 

She’s close, she’s warm, she’s anchoring him.

         “I, uh --- ” He swallows hard and starts again. “The, uh. the neighbor’s car.” It misfired. It misfired, you asshole, you can finish the fucking sentence. “Fucking car.”

[therapise-blog]

warmst.

     “ totally. ” she doesn’t even stop to think about how he might feel about it, how a comment like that could make him uncomfortable — well, that’s not entirely true. she just doesn’t think about it immediately. ( she’s still poking at him, hoping to dig out a grander reaction than a ducked gaze. a laugh, maybe. )

          “ you’re just like my boyfriend, ” she amends. “ it’s cute. ”

Summer gets the laugh she’s hoping for, only to have it replaced seconds later with a comically deep frown.

         “I’m ‘just like’ your 50 year old boyfriend? I’m 32, Summer, I shouldn’t have the body of a 50 year old recovering alcoholic.”

[twilightsagadaily]

“I started to feel a little dizzy, apparently a full-scale panic attack on the way. I sat down on the cool tile floor in my big towel and put my head between my knees. I prayed he wouldn’t decide to come look for me before I could pull myself together. I could imagine what he would think if he saw me going to pieces this way. It wouldn’t be hard for him to convince himself that we were making a mistake.” -Bella Cullen, Breaking Dawn

[therapise-blog]

journalistiq.

Is he smiling, too?

Charlie lets out a little laugh that very quickly turns into hysterics as she thinks about how much Candice had screamed about it. It’s the fact that she tried to hit back, too, and fucking missed. How shitty has your aim gotta be for a blind person to be able to dodge it?

“Thanks. I loved it too. I…” she says, and there’s a pause before she speaks again. It’s her trying to get her breath back. “I love you.”

His smile goes soft in a second. That’s a group of words he’ll never tire of hearing  ---  or doling out, for that matter. He hasn’t encountered a lot of people worthy of that kind of sentiment.

         “Hey,” he starts, playing like he’s just realized the feeling’s mutual. “I love you, too.”

[domhnllgleeson]