Release
You know sometimes we all have bad breakups, heart aches, loss, and sadness. Sometimes in breakups it becomes nasty. One person feels like they still have a connection while the other moves on. Or maybe it is a smooth detach.
Mine was all sorts of emotions and feelings. I still today am detoxing from it. He has since moved on. And although I am truly happy for him. I see so many red flags. Which I know I shouldnāt ldont care but I am so protective of him. I want someone genuine to love him.
But there... there is where I realize there I go caring for someone else more than myself. I do this all the time. I truly made this person a part of my life. I made it so in my mind that I didnāt dnt see life without us. And now that that has been ripped off like an arm, i am bleeding still.
I hate to admit it but I think I have to truly let him go completely. I hate seeing him in that fake ass relationship. Itās s so fictional that I literally ely wanna gag.
And the guys I have tried to date are all toxic as well. I have to really just stay doing me. Although I have always done that since the split, I have not really been living. Just surviving. I am on my way to meet someone as I write this and already I am nervous.
Nervous because i donāt t know how to date...I donāt remember what to say and such. I am usually myself but I mean I hate the whole dating process.
ugghhh anywho... let me use this ride as a meditation trip