no way, baby! i'm it.

23. here & there. leading lady. "for i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - jeremiah 29:11 #faberryisnotreal.

[therealqfabray]

TEXT MESSAGE ⇄ QUINN & KITTY

[FLASH FORWARD TO PRESENT]

KITTY: Why has my inbox and life been void of Quinn Fabray lately?

QUINN: We're both busy women. You have finals, and I have work. You know how it works.

QUINN: Has Brittany invited you to her pity-sleepover yet?

[therealsamevans]

Uh, yeah. Of course.

I’m going to owe you? No way, Q. I’ll just show them to Mason and Blaine, free of charge.

[therealqfabray]

You know what? Fine. I don’t want to watch your lame videos anyway, and at least now I don’t have to waste my energy in pretending to find you entertaining. 

[supermantypeshit]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @theboywonder uploaded a photo

It’s still Friday somewhere, so, #fbf to that time I kicked it w/ @fapraying. #apparentlyshesfamous #celebsareweird 

↳ 123 LIKES, 96 COMMENTS

[actuallybda-deactivated20150912]

No, absolutely not. Lubricant, while exceedingly important, doesn’t touch my hair. Botanical oils and leave-in conditioner only. I have a strict hair regimen, Quinn. 

[therealqfabray]

Well, colour me surprised. If that isn’t a relief, then I don’t know what is. 

Now that we’ve cleared that up, if you’re not too preoccupied dodging questions about your obvious sexuality, then you’re more than welcome to share your ‘strict hair regimen’ with me -- sans the lubricant and hair gel. 

[sugar-motts-deactivated20160320]

EMAIL TO QUINN FABRAY

[sugar-motts-deactivated20160320]

TO: Quinn Fabray FROM: [email protected] SUBJECT: R.E SLEEPOVER

Hi Quinn!!!

It’s okay, it really isn’t the first time I heard of my emails going into the spam folder!! I wonder why that happens! Maybe, I have to check with LT to make sure he isn’t playing in my account again.

1.) I think it is cute!!! But, okay, no Quinnie. Check.

2.) You have never been to a sleepover ever???? HOW?? They are the best thing ever! Now, you have to come to see what you are missing out on!! Plus, Mads said she was going, and I still need to ask Kitty, but I think she will go, and then it will be the PERFECT girls night. 

Sincerely, BSP

[therealqfabray]

TO: Brittany Pierce (Cat Blogger) FROM: [email protected] SUBJECT: R.E SLEEPOVER

Brittany, 

That doesn’t at all surprise me, but it sounds like a problem you might want to get fixed. God know’s what your cat gets up to when he’s on the internet.

1). You could call me ‘Q’, if you wanted to. 

2). Well.. You know. I’ve just never been invited before. While I was undoubtedly a popular and pretty child, my attempts at breaking into the business kept me from attending school regularly enough to make friends who would invite me over. Yes, I’ll think about it. This Saturday, correct?

Regards,  Q.F

[actuallybda-deactivated20150912]

I guess it’s to be expected when there’s promotional billboards like this around, but is it really that hard to believe I’m gay? It’s not like I hide it. 

[therealqfabray]

As if the bowties and lubricant you slather your hair in weren’t enough of a give away. 

[therealqfabray]

private: quake (wtf)

[supermantypeshit]

And you’re the only person with that much power that I allow myself to call friend. Though, come on, we both know logic aside you’d care if I disappeared. It’s cool. Your secret is safe with me.

I like to read between the lines. Always more meanin’ than what’s given. Learned that in psychology. Or maybe it was sociology… One of those classes that end in -ology. Well I’m all for dancin’ and having fun then - it’s kind of in my DNA to do so. I dunno many people who want to have sex with America’s Second Sweetheart. What would the critics think? They’ve spoiled you. Ruined your good image. WHAT ABOUT THE PURITY RING? There goes the endorsements, the role model images, the life-long Singles.com membership! You’re their spokeswoman after all. And obviously you’d want to talk to me about it because 1) I can give you pointers and 2) I’m a fuckin’ awesome listener. These ears? Not just for nibbling. 

I mean I’ve never been to Disney World before so why not check it out? No better time than the present. Sweetheart is conceited? Everyone knows Sweethearts can’t be conceited, they must be kind and open and loving of all. Someone didn’t read the handbook. Well hey I can change that for you. Maybe not Disney World, but something other than dinner and clubbing. How do you feel about paintball? And nah, I told you. The kid doesn’t date. I was kind of an ass to her and she didn’t deserve that so cleared the weekend to hang out with her. Go big or go home, ya know? …But, let’s say, hypothetically that I may wanna try that out in the future. The whole datin’ thing. With her. Do I have to seek out your approval?

[therealqfabray]

Just as long as you promise to keep this little revelation just between us. Yes, I suppose I would. 

Well, whatever they taught you in whichever ‘ology’ class you’re referring to is quite obviously complete and utter BS. I’m candid enough to get my point across with my words; if I had something to say to you, then I’d simply come out and say it. Are we ever going to get to the point where you don’t insult me, just for the sake of it? Anyone with at least half a brain would want to sleep with me, and would be incredibly lucky if given the opportunity. Despite whatever tabloid trash you’re talking about, I’ve never committed myself to God via purity ring, I’m not a member (past or current) of Singles.com, and for the sake of clearing things up, I’m no in anyway affiliated with the Westboro Baptist Church. As a strong, self-sufficient woman, I’m in no position of denying myself from lifes little pleasures, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had a partner sign a confidentiality agree once or twice; I’m aware of the image I have to protect. And obviously, I wouldn’t because 1) I don’t need ‘pointers’. I’ve never had any complaints and 2) Something tells me you’re not really up for discussion when my sex life (or lack of, currently) included your brother, at one point. 

Thank you for the offer spurred out of pity, but I’ll have to respectfully decline. I’m not the kind of woman who goes paintballing, that’s for certain, and it’s actually in my contract that I can’t partake in any activities that would cause bodily harm to myself or others.  Well, I hope the two of you had a nice time on your ‘non-date’ then. I’m surprised that wreck you call a car managed to get you there in one piece. Actually, we haven’t really spoken in a while. My schedules been kind of hectic, so I’m hoping to catch up with her sometime soon. It’s not my business what or who Kitty does, but even if it was, you wouldn’t have my blessing. 

[therealsamevans]

Fine, but only because I’m one of the only few people that will appreciate them for how truly awesome they are.

[therealqfabray]

You mean, you’re one of the masses who are delusional enough to follow you on Vine and endure your impressions? 

Fine, you can show me one. Only one, and you owe me.

[sugar-motts-deactivated20160320]

EMAIL TO QUINN FABRAY

TO: Quinn Fabray FROM: [email protected] SUBJECT: SLEEPOVER

Dear Quinn, can I call you Quinnie?

I have the perfect night planned this weekend!! A SLEEPOVER! I think Me, you, Mads, and Kitty would make the perfect sleepover quartet!! So, I think we should have a slumber party together and watch movies, and eat popcorn all night long!! 

Plus, LT would be there and he makes the perfect cuddle buddy!! 

Let me know what you think! BSP & LT

[therealqfabray]

TO: Brittany Pierce (Cat Blogger) FROM: [email protected] SUBJECT: R.E SLEEPOVER

Hello Brittany, 

You’ll have to forgive me for my late reply. For some reason, your email inconspicuously ended up in my spam folder. Strange. Thank you for your email, however.

First of all: No, my mother and father call me that.  

Second of all: I’ve never been invited to a sleepover before. 

Regards,  Q.F (Without cat sidekick).

[therealsamevans]

We’ve all been there, Quinn. Does this mean you’re Vine’s going to be full of my impressions again? ‘Cause I’ve been working on a few, you need to hear them.

[therealqfabray]

Sam. Sweetie, do us both a favour and keep those impressions to yourself. 

[therealqfabray]

TEXT ✉ SAM ⇄ QUINN

SAM: THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF.

SAM: Oh my God.

SAM: ALMOST all of the time, the almost is the most important part.

QUINN: Is it sadistic for me to find this entertaining?

QUINN: Pft. Technicalities. From past events, it's scientifically proven that between the two of us, I'm more inclined to be right.

QUINN: All jokes aside, you should be careful. Not all romances end in fairytales, and this kind of industry doesn't warrant cutting you some slack when you're feeling a little down in the dumps.

[therealqfabray]

private: quake (wtf)

[supermantypeshit]

You and I both know that if I did drop off the face of the Earth you’d be the first to start the manhunt. 

All I see is, “Yes, I missed you Jake you add such flavor to my life and my dashboard. How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?” Really, I don’t know, Quinnith. I just don’t know. But damn sounds like your week was busy as hell. Guess not checking in every once in a while gave you more room to do boring actress things. Except Coachella. That sounds fuckin’ great and I’m more pissed than ever that I’ve never been and couldn’t go. If ‘stress relief’ is code for you finally getting laid I’m slow-clapping it out for you. 

For your information, Sweetheart, I spent my week at the studio, library, beach, and club. And now this weekend the kid is heading to the land of magic with your favorite little blonde.

[therealqfabray]

Well. Considering I’m your only friend with enough social power and relevance to be able to conduct a manhunt, I guess that statement is true to some extent. Logically speaking, obviously. 

Those are your words, not mine. And you practically misinterpreted my ‘I missed your face’, because it doesn’t take a genius to reread my previous post and witness that I never mentioned ‘flavour’ or being ‘so lucky to have you in my life’. You’re projecting what you want to hear, Jacob. ‘Stress relief’ is code for dancing and generally having fun, actually. I’m not exactly sure what made you think I’ve ‘finally’ done that, because it’s never been much of a problem in the past, but I’ve actually made a mental note not to partake in those kind of activities until the foreseeable future. It hasn’t exactly bode well for me or my self esteem. Besides, if that were the topic of discussion, what makes you think I would want to discuss my private life, with you of all people, on my very public blog? Think a little. 

You’re in Disney World? I guess you’re really living up to your self-instated nickname of ‘the kid’. And as conceited as it sounds, I’m actually my own favourite blonde, and God only knows that no man’s ever gone past taking me to dinner, let alone Disney World. Does this mean you’re like, dating now?  

[sugar-motts-deactivated20160320]

Right! Well, I’m sure your fans will be happy that you returned back to the interweb.

Really? We both had an awesome time! And we would love to show you around again! So, you can expect an email from the both of us soon about our next adventure!

[therealqfabray]

As they rightfully should be. It feels good to be missed, you know? And it’s even more satisfying on a grander scale. 

I’m glad the feeling is mutual. Considering that you’re being so sweet, and that we mostly had an ‘adventure’ that solely appealed to my tastes, maybe next time we could do something you and Lord Tubbington would like? 

[therealqfabray]

TEXT ✉ SAM ⇄ QUINN

SAM: Quinn, no.

SAM: YES. I mean, you thought he was stalking you.

QUINN: Admit it, we'd be unstoppable.

QUINN: Well, obviously he's not going to wholefully /admit/ to stalking me. I did have my suspicions, however.

QUINN: Besides, we've already had this conversation, and you've already admitted that I'm right almost all of the time. I have proof that would stand up in court!

[therealqfabray]

PRIVATE: Let’s get a couple of things straight.

[actuallybda-deactivated20150912]

I’ve already talked to Sam about how fast he’s going, but Sam’s going to do what Sam’s going to do. You can’t exactly reason with someone who’s in love, and I’m not going to stand in the way either. He stood by me when I was infatuated with – Anyway, yes, I can respect that. No more M-word conversations from here on out. Cross my heart. 

Speaking of your sanity, I think we’re supposed to be finally filming a scene together soon. Yes! You know, I’m still figuring out exactly where I can hide away with my hair products. Any recommendations? I hear you take the best vacations. 

[therealqfabray]

Despite how misguided my intentions may seem, I actually do have his best interest at heart. Whatever. I’m sure I’ll get over it, and when Sam inevitably realises his delusional behaviour, I’ll be ready and waiting to say ‘I told you so’. And thank you for respecting my wishes, Blaine. Spoken like a true gentleman. 

Thankfully so. It’s about time I had the opportunity to work with someone who’s equally as talented and professional as I am. Hopefully, our scenes won’t result in frog impressions or bickering. And you heard correctly. I’m always willing to offer advice to those who so desperately need it, but in this case, your input is just as important. What do you look for in a vacation? Nevertheless, Europe is a particular favourite mine, specifically Greece or Italy. Though I’m definitely partial to vacationing somewhere on a remote resort that’s both sunny, reclusive and able to supply me with an endless stream of cocktails, and Hawaii is quite lovely. 

[therealqfabray]

TEXT ✉ SAM ⇄ QUINN

SAM: Never join forces ever.

SAM: I'm not going to do that! I'll be fine.

QUINN: Now there's an idea. Perhaps if we were to combine our talents, we'd be able to talk some sense into the bleached little head of yours.

QUINN: Have I ever been wrong before?

[romanoff]

“Amy’s “Cool Girl” monologue makes explicit the film’s central critique of contemporary identity. We allow ourselves to appear shallow on the surface because other people like us that way. More importantly, we do it because we have our safe refuge on the inside where we can say to ourselves, “that’s not the real me.” We “endure” subjugating our own desires to the desires of others because we believe in this refuge, but the reality is that we’re allowing our identities to be determined by someone else’s desire. There’s a fine line between compromise and self-effacement, and Amy’s critique of modern society is that we allow ourselves to be erased and replaced with someone—something—else. We are exactly what we pretend to be. The distinction between external appearances and internal reality exists so that we can maintain the illusion of being what we want to be while still enjoying our easy, comfortable lifestyles. Amy’s argument is that instead we should appear to be the best version of ourselves, because being our best—showing our best on the surface—erases the gap between internal and external identity. Amy kills the version of herself she created to please others and becomes the film’s paragon of self-realization. She throws away the Cool Girl and becomes the Gone Girl.” (source)