The Scarlet Pumpernickel

Call me Pumpernickel// She/Her// Here for all the wizards// Feel free to send asks or messages :3

[agent-of-imagined-chaos]

clocked in to the yearning and longing factory today. Involuntarily.

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[rainformation]

formative years? aren’t they all?

[deadmegumi]

Most successful aura farm in the whole books #tome

[jessaerys]

i think it's beautiful that cats eat you if you die in your apartment and nobody finds you for a while. i don't know why it's used as anti-kitty cat propaganda as if eating you means they don't love u. if i died and no one found me for a while i would want my kitty cat to eat me bc i love her so much and i don't want her to starve. it's not her fault i'm too dead to give her her fancy feasts. she's going thru something scary ok. i don't know a single cat owner who doesn't feel the same way

[elainiisms]

female protagonists will literally go through 30 life altering traumas at the age of 16 and you ppl still have the audacity to call them annoying bc they cry about it and act like teenage girls

[therealscarletpumpernickel]

I BELIEVE IN SANSA STARK SUPERIORITY

[cartoon-aragorn]

why is sansa stark hating so common. like she's a little girl. she's terrified, she's trapped, she's being handed from one pedophile to the next, she saw her dad's head get cut off, she's alone, all her siblings are dead, her mom is dead, she's 11 years old, she's supposed to be making rubber band loom bracelets and listening to one direction, she's just a kid. all the most evil characters in the book hate her for no reason other than she's ned's kid. she's also a very smart, polite, and kind girl. she's preppy in the first book, but her greatest sin is what? being a girl? being a little girl? being a bit snooty (which she quickly gets beaten out of her anyway)? yall are horrible

[therealscarletpumpernickel]

SANSA STARK THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU IF SANSA HAS NO FANS IM FUCKIN DEAD

[kyberinthevoid]

I hate that “chat” now makes people think of chatgpt. no. I’m asking my imaginary greek chorus twitch audience.

[sceptixfakemon]

i really genuinely wish I could hit chatgpt with my bare fists and hear its pityful electronic voice fade into glitched robotic gibberish and choking beeps as I hit it before I smash it for good and it shuts the fuck up forever

[sceptixfakemon]

no no it's fine

[revivivivify]

[iphigeniacomplex]

you’ve been a prisoner of war since you were ten years old but the prodigal son is finally returning and this time you have a battle plan. you’ve been to war. you’re the trueborn son of a lord and your only living sibling is your older sister (notably a woman), so there’s no threat to your succession. basically? you have this lord of the seven kingdoms shit in the bag. there’s a red comet in the sky and that comet is YOU, baby! got your nice doublet on and everything. everything’s coming up theon everything’s coming up greyjoy this time for me. Unfortunately your dad is immediately pissed at you he says theon you look gay as fuck. theon i bet that necklace wasn’t even looted. theon did NED STARK turn you GAY during your CAREFREE YEARS LIVING IT UP AS A CHILD PRISONER OF WAR. Like omg i JUST got here. and to make matters worse while you were away everybody became a feminist so you aren’t even heir to pyke anymore you’re just somebody’s flop gay son. you’re just somebody’s flop gay son on a rock in the ocean foreverrr

[get-cersie-an-elephant]

[freakoutgirl]

the internet seems like a distant dream

[freakoutgirl]

whatever we are on rn is not the internet. It's ads

[ceruleanheaven]

being on the internet for more than three minutes

[confirmed-and-contorted]

“ah, my lady, watch your footing near these stai-”

CLANG-KLINK-SCREEK-CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK-SKREE-CLINK-TSCEECH!

[shinraalpha]

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.