Sly

When I discovered this thing called "tumblr," it gave me a thought: why have I never advertised before? I suppose there is a first time for everything, and why not sieze such an opportunity? Especially if it turns a profit...

[therealsly]

Welcome to my humble shop

As a shopkeeper, one of the first thing you must do is state the terms of service. No sophisticated business can happen without rules! But first, a little about myself.

General information

I go by he/him pronouns. I will not sell my wares to someone who disrespects me by calling me otherwise.

I apologize if you are trying to tune out the current events in Hallownest or Pharloom, as I won't stop myself from discussing them. (Hollow Knight and Silksong spoilers)

I will occasionally share pictures of my wares. If you, for some reason, are not interested in them, then ignore them as you will.

Interaction with other "RP Blogs," supposedly fellow bugs in nearby kingdoms, is much appreciated. I always love some good business!

You are welcome to share products of your own with me, but I do not buy. I keep the Geo that I make. (share your art and stuff)

Rules

ABSOLUTLY NO DISLIKE OF MY PRODUCTS. They are of high quality and sell for many a Geo. (no hate on my stuff)

Please do not involve me in romantic content, it impedes on my business. No NSFW either, and for the same reasons.

Questions about myself are welcome, as long as they fit within these terms and conditions. And don't interrupt business too much. Geo is what I am here for in the first place. A word of advice: Use your Geo wisely, or not at all. As in, use your Geo at my shop.

[therealsly]

Sly, I heard Mato lives near here in the Howling Cliffs, would you want to visit him someday?

Also can I buy the sprintmaster charm *hands over 400 geo*

I do wonder how he is doing, although, I am unsure of wether I would be welcome. As for the charm, I'm not really a merchant anymore, but I suppose I can make an exception. I'll never say no to geo.

[therealsly]

Do I, the omniscient, omnipresent, and somewhat potent narrator, count as a Higher Being and need to pay taxes?

@quirrel-official

Yes. "All knowing" seems like a key characteristic of gods, so I would think you'll qualify.

[therealsly]

What? A bug trying to hoard-keep all Geo, to keep Leg Eater from becoming the King he deserves-needs to be?! Horrid!

@i-eat-legs

I wouldn't call it hoarding, but I suppose you could say that. I never thought I'd see the day that there was a even more greedy soul than I.

[therealsly]

*projects all nuclear disasters into slys brain so he knows what might happen to hollownest if he falls*

*Sly is startled by the sudden burst of knowledge. He fears for his rosaries first, but then he remembers what would happen to his students. He wouldn't let something like that kill them. If they were to perish, he wants it to be in battle.*

[therealsly]

@being-of-lifeblood

Be angry all you want, doesn't change a thing. You still must pay that very small amount of money. You're a god, I'm sure 100 rosaries isn't much of a problem for you.

[therealsly]

Sly, as a fellow Tax collector, I think we should form an alliance. I call it the MRS (Multiversal Revenue Service). Tom Nook and Hulk have already agreed with the idea. What do you say? 🫲

A good proposal. I accept, although I might have a couple gods that are angry at me currently.

[therealsly]

I’m going to be entirely honest.

What the fuck are you doing? Why are you doing this?

A nuke?? Really?? Just because of some gods???

Honestly it-…

. . .

Sly wouldn’t do this.

Its a bold move, for sure. You should know by now the things I will do for money.

[therealsly]

what makes you think trying to tax gods is a good idea

Its not about the taxing. It is about manipulation. Me challenging the gods subconsciously makes everyone in Pharloom fear me. And inducing fear into someone might just be the best tactic to take control of others.

[therealsly]

…Your greed truly knows no bounds, does it?

I suppose you could put it that way.

[therealsly]

Sly you know making a nuclear power base without a licence is against the law meaning you could lose your job (the same goes for nukes)

Well this is news to me. Is it really illegal if everyone needs the energy?

[therealsly]

sup

@theusgovernmentinpharloom

My money isn't for you. I've surpassed you people in power now. There's nothing you can do to stop me. Go ahead and try, I dare you.

[theusgovernmentinpharloom]

I have tanks

and nuclear weapons

like

A lot of em

hand over the money

[therealsly]

Actually, I have a proposal. What do you say I give you the money, and you send some of your weapons?

[theusgovernmentinpharloom]

hmmm

sure

[therealsly]

A deals a deal, then. I will send the money soon.

[therealsly]

sup

@theusgovernmentinpharloom

My money isn't for you. I've surpassed you people in power now. There's nothing you can do to stop me. Go ahead and try, I dare you.

[theusgovernmentinpharloom]

I have tanks

and nuclear weapons

like

A lot of em

hand over the money

[therealsly]

Actually, I have a proposal. What do you say I give you the money, and you send some of your weapons?

[therealsly]

sup

@theusgovernmentinpharloom

My money isn't for you. I've surpassed you people in power now. There's nothing you can do to stop me. Go ahead and try, I dare you.

[therealsly]

Sly.

Do you realize just how many problems you’ve caused with your nuke threat?

You’ve just angered every single god in the world. Gods that will gladly end your existence before you even blink. You’d never even get the chance to even think about using it.

And let’s say, by some twist of fate, you somehow manage to set it off. Not only would you be killing yourself, and anyone within Hallownest and/or Pharloom, you would throw every single kingdom into chaos. Earthquakes and cave-ins galore. Thousands, millions of people who could’ve given you money, dead. Do you understand that? Do you know the consequences of your decision? Do you even care?

…No, you don’t. You’re only about the money, after all. Not like anything else matters to you.

Exactly right. Is this not the power than we all wish for? To have a weapon capable of harming GODS! It just goes to show that money really is the only thing worth it in this cruel world of ours. That's the cold hard truth. I've already tried caring. Wasn't a pleasant experience.

[therealsly]

Now taxing Higher Beings!

The final part of fully initiating the IRS's authority is underway. I have finally finished constructing a very powerful weapon that is capable of harming Higher Beings. I believe it is called a "Nuke." With this, I am now demanding 100 Rosaries from ALL Higher Beings!

[voidgivenformofficial]

Haha. No you’re not.

[therealsly]

Yes, I am. 100 rosaries, pay up.

[voidgivenformofficial]

Do you want to die?

[therealsly]

Do you? I'm the one with the gigantic bomb.

[therealsly]

Now taxing Higher Beings!

The final part of fully initiating the IRS's authority is underway. I have finally finished constructing a very powerful weapon that is capable of harming Higher Beings. I believe it is called a "Nuke." With this, I am now demanding 100 Rosaries from ALL Higher Beings!

[voidgivenformofficial]

Haha. No you’re not.

[therealsly]

Yes, I am. 100 rosaries, pay up.