@theresalwayscracks-blog - Tumblr Blog

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people.

#SERIOUSLY #THE TEENAGERS ARE SO SHY AND POLITE AND NICE #MEANWHILE THE MIDDLE AGED ADULTS ARE THE RUDEST PIECES OF SHIT

majestic-wiener

The elderly are either adorable or the wrinkly reincarnation of Satan there is no in between

memecenterz

questionall

hauteproportions

this might be my favourite joke ever

theforce

Why do you like the social network so much? Like what's your favorite aspect of the movie/story

eduardo: mark! MAAARRRRK!!!sean: he’s wired ineduardo: sorry?sean: he’s wired in eduardo: is he?sean: yes eduardo: *SMASHES THE SHIT OUTTA THE COMPUTER* eduardo: hOW BOUT NOW?? STILL “WIRED IN” ???!11sean: *whispers* call securityeduardo: you issued 24 million new shares of stockmark: you were told that if new investors came along… eduardo: how much were your shares diluted? *points to sean* how much were his?

*cut scene*

lawyer lady: what was mr. zuckerberg’s ownership share diluted down to?eduardo: it wasn’t lawyer lady: what was mr. moskovitz’s ownership share diluted down to?eduardo: it wasn’tlawyer lady: what was sean parker’s ownership share diluted down to?eduardo: it wasn’tlawyer lady: what was peter thiel’s ownership share diluted down to?eduardo: it wasn’tlawyer lady: and what was your ownership share diluted down to?eduardo: .03 percent

*sad music* *sad looks*

*cut back*

mark: you signed the paperseduardo: *almost in tears* you set me upmark: you’re gonna blame me because you were the business head of the company and you made a pad business deal with your own company?eduardo: this is gonna be like i’m not a part of facebook!sean: it won’t be like you’re “not a part of facebook” … you’re not a part of facebook eduardo: my name’s on the mastheadsean: you might wanna check againeduardo: just because i froze the account???sean: did you think we were going to let you parade around in your rediculous suits pretending you were running this company- eduardo: I’M SORRY MY PRADA’S AT THE CLEANERS! ALONG WITH MY HOODIE AND MY ‘FUCK YOU’ FLIP-FLOPS YOU PRETENTIOUS DOUCHEBAG sean: security’s here, you’ll be leaving noweduardo: i’m not signing those papers.sean: we will get the signature.eduardo: *to mark* tell me this isn’t about me getting into the phoenixmark: *scoffs angrily* eduardo: *in disbelief* … YOU ! YOU DID IT! I KNEW YOU DID IT YOU PLANTED THE STORY ABOUT THE CHICKEN! mark: i didn’t plant the story about the chicken sean: what’s he talking about? eduardo: you had me accused of animal crueltysean: seriously, what the hell’s the chickeneduardo: *LEANS IN VERY CLOSE TO MARK / VOICE LOW AND DANGEROUS / HAND MOVEMENTS BECOMING VERY TENSE* and i’ll bet what you hated the most was that they identified me as co-founder of facebook, which i am, you bETTER LAWYER U P ASSHOLE BC IM NTO CIGMING BACK FOR 30% I’M GCIMIGN BACK FO RN EVERNYHTRGING !!!!!!!!!!

mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours

pinataparty23-deactivated201404

have u ever seen a really attractive person and just really wished u hadn’t

theverge

The UK stages a sit-in— on faces, of course — against new porn restrictions

knockoffherbonnet

The world is too much right now.

adevilsdozen

"can’t make his wife squirt"

"bans it in porn"

omfgakdfb lolololol

lsxcrowned

Off to the UK we gooo lol

azurea

By Jean Jullien.

kamikazeruler

Visual representation on how we let technology ruin social interactions and pleasant experiences.

3dbabyfromallymcbeal

Me: *hates this*

gothicprep

why do baby boomers love to produce this “technology is bad fire is scary and thomas edison was a witch” garbage?

zmizet-deactivated20170716

fuck THIS

I never see a cashier with an empty queue. Self-serve checkout machines make life GREAT for people with social anxiety or self conscious people. I get nervous that everyone is judging my weight. So when I do my monthly ice-cream, chocolate, and menstrual products run, I will do it with a fucking self-serve machine.

I’m happy seeing my friends take photos of their food. I like taking photos of my food. Because there is a chef in the back of the kitchen who works hard to plate things beautifully and in any other situation, people dive in immediately and ruin that image. We take photos to preserve that image and who the fuck knows, if I was the chef I would be digging through instagram hoping to see my plate on there. We’re celebrating someones hard work, work that is generally temporary.

And I don’t know what kind of friends you have, but if someone is taking a photo of their food, I’m not gonna bother talking to them until they’re done. Why would you try to have a conversation when someone is busy?? And it takes a few minutes, you can wait for someone who wants to perform a small act of creativity.

It’s nice to get likes on instagram. If you’re monogamous and on tinder, it’s not technology’s fault you’re contemplating cheating. What is SO BAD about having food delivered to your home? And is there anything wrong with having movies streaming instantly? No - but if you complain that Netflix takes up your life than be an adult and step back. It’s not technology’s fault that you have no self control.

Selfies are fun. Selfies are great. Your friend is a jerk if they don’t even take a minute to take of photo of you as well. Why do you care if people use technology around you on the subway? That makes me feel less self-conscious that people are staring or judging me. They can play their games, read, etc. Someone is occupied, why is that so wrong?

Your phone has a zoom option so you can record/photograph a concert? FUCKING good for you!

And again. If your phone keeps you up, be an adult, get some self control and step back.

Technology isn’t bad. You’re just upset with yourselves for having a lack of self-control. You hate that people connect through technology. And maybe, you just don’t like seeing people love themselves, enjoy life, and feel joy. That’s your problem, not technology’s.