i’m so overwhelmed. i am really, really going to miss these guys. my team, my fellow tls, my managers, the staff and all these familiar faces and places. it’s the first of time i’ve teared up on my last day. the achy, nostalgic kind of tears that shows you how much you’re gonna miss this crew and wish this wouldn’t end.
i’m going to try and save it all in memory as much as i can.
thank you everyone. thank you company. no matter how bittersweet it is, this was where i’ve grown and tried out things i would’ve never even done just two years ago. thank you so much. you were such an important turning point in my life. i met lots of really great people here. i got exposed to a lot of things i wouldn’t even have had if not for here.
i’ve done what i can. not all of it was my best, but i definitely cared and tried. most of the time anyway.
let’s all work hard to get our dreams and wishes. be kind and good and stay awesome everyone!
the first time i joined the company, our workforce was just less than one thousand people.
by the time 2015 ended, we were already at the 5k mark. our account was responsible for bolstering the company’s numbers to a huge extent, but there were also plenty of hires as well for new and existing accounts. also, we had new sites put up that needed more personnel to staff them, such as the it, hr, finance etc.
i’m lucky to have joined just right before its rapid growth, enjoying so many of the benefits. so many people feel the same way, since they wouldn’t have been hired if not for the company’s growth.
the one constant thing i’ve had here is always uncertainty. so many changes and so many new faces around. i’ve seen a lot of people come and go.
lately, there’s a lot more turnover at the top than i would’ve liked to. there are far too many changes and too few good results to be had. we’re used to having so many things change quickly, but i can’t get over how many questionable and inevitably negative decisions are being made by the upper management lately.
i’ve just read about github’s internal drama and while theirs is certainly more full-blown, i can’t help but think of a comparison with ours. this company is also a relatively young startup enjoying rapid growth, so it’s no wonder there’s plenty of changes, displacement and shifts as well.
no matter how bittersweet my last days in the company will be, i am still grateful for what they’ve provided for me. that’s why i want them to survive their roller coaster period of highs and lows. once they’ve stabilized and all the errant people are gone and/or have been reminded of what they’re actually supposed to be doing instead of affecting everybody’s workflow--the company will live on.
i hated coming here, seeing the usual facade of drab gray walls, neon blue lighting and polished cement floors. opening my locker somehow became very dreary to me. i can’t stand the elevators that took forever. only 7 floors but feels like 5 minutes have passed by already when you get to the top.
it didn’t help that there was a lot of stuff that happened, mostly with good people leaving and bad decisions being made.
i can’t even bring myself to talk to my team. no plans or actions in mind. all i have is my routine. and my pride not to be called out for any slip. just another driftaway at work.
the better half of my time was spent plotting and hatching my escape. i got sick. then i was sick. i rehearsed my lines for interviews. revised my resume. took taxis to other buildings. did take home exams in the office. reviewed my portfolio.
now i have offers. all that’s left is to send that letter and tell my team about it.
and it turns out it’s actually a bit hard. maybe it’s because i’m still deciding on my future.
in the meantime, i’ve been converted into a fan of savory’s fish fillet. they have solo meals that cost less than a hundred pesos. i can always eat their fish fillet. sorry chowking.
also, i’ve found that the mall’s supermarket has a bread and pastry shop. along with a rice in a box stall. it makes for pretty filling lunch. or snack.
and i might not hate my work that much anymore. there’s still a certain degree of resentment, but not as vitriolic. my coworkers are still acting like three year olds in a better, better-est and best-est game, but at least the storm has calmed down somewhat.
i have a tendency to browse fb a lot more lately, and someone shared a minute long clip of a woman beating up a dog. i couldn’t get past three seconds of it.
the poster shared this was a daily ritual that often happened every morning and every night. and they’ve endured it for months already, and some of them in the neighborhood for years. all because the owners are upset that a dog tied outside is pooping in a specific place outside their front gate. logic wants to say hi.
it doesn’t matter why they’re doing it or how did they think it’s okay to treat a living being as some unfeeling accessory just meant to stand outside your house to bark, but my heart dies just thinking about it. that dog probably got beat up today too.
this hits me closer to home, because today our six month old puppy somehow managed to break an important valve in our water connection after chewing the poor thing. we had no running water instead, since we had to close it down to avoid leaks. my father went out to buy and repair it and cost us a bit of money.
of course we were all upset. i scolded my dog like i was talking to someone who could talk back. “ang kulit kulit kasi! wala tuloy tayong tubig.” puppy just stared and tried to play. it’s just another normal day for him. tomorrow, i’ll buy more treats for him to lessen his tendency on chewing stuff that’s not meant to be chewed on.
i don’t know, it just breaks my heart that anyone with a sound mind would think it’s okay to beat up animals like that. i did not finish watching that video, but it has stayed in my mind.
in an ideal world, someone around that area will have the guts to reproach that neighbor and take away the dog. if that doesn’t work, next step is to file an animal abuse case. although personally i’d rather file asap. people like that don’t deserve dogs. they don’t deserve animals, period.
and they’re very likely awful humans as well. you can learn a lot about someone on how they treat others.
in reality, it will take a long time for anything to happen. or hopefully not, given how viral that video is. and paws + local internet vigilantes has proven to have a pretty good track record with animal abusers once something gets their attention.
and i pray the dog gets a better life. in this life or the next, along with the justice they deserve.
media noche wasn’t exactly by midnight, but somewhat close. so we can hop off straight to bed once we get our fill of the spectacular fireworks display at midnight.
also, screw the neighbors who keep lighting all their nasty firecrackers just right across our front yard. they don’t even live near us. apparently, their own street lane isn’t enough for all their stash of pla pla and sinturon ni hudas.
our dogs get extremely frightened as well. my poor cutie patootie bbs.
i’m keeping tabs on viber and work email as well. i might get sleep deprived about having to wake up in just a couple of hours later, but at least i don’t have shift tonight.
not much time for the holidays. no christmas tree set up, just like last year. it’s only 4 days before the big day aaand i haven’t started my christmas shopping. hopefully i’ll get it done by tomorrow. i don’t have a problem doing it last minute like what i did last year--bought their gifts hours before i went home from work on the 24th--but there’s no convenient mall outside where i work right now.
hey, being an adult is hard enough. you barely have time for the festivities anymore. i have work on all holidays and i don’t even have time to plan my gifts.
the only christmas tradition i’ve dutifully followed this year is simbang gabi. i’ve skipped out on everything else, like your standard christmas party etc. and also checking google’s santa tracker. heh.
since i’ve missed out on the holiday events, my plan is just to binge on holiday themed goodies, hence snapping up every christmas-themed merch that i see. christmas donuts from j.co and krispy kreme, christmas flavors from starbucks etc. christmas christmas everything. speaking of which, need to drop by sm aura and m&s soon. aura has christmas themed chocolates from our friends in mars.
but seriously, i miss the holiday lights at night in the metro. the light show in ayala triangle, the gaggle of lights in the ortigas park, that kind of stuff. and just listening to christmas music.
because i’m an indecisive person, instead of getting that smart phone i really, really need, i made my quarterly pilgrimage to divisoria and splurged on eng bee tin, siomai and the usual materialistic stuff that we get for ourselves for the holidays. basically, i decided to blow it on clothes, bags and shoes. woohoo! smart me.
and to think i haven’t shopped for the family’s gifts yet. plus my team and my friends. why did you make me spend that much brain???
i don’t normally get hit with buyer’s remorse within the day of shopping, but the main reason i bought these things is to look hip and trendy because that’s how i roll.
aaand the place i work in isn’t exactly the place to be seen. it has nothing to do on being trendy (or the lack of it), but the fact is--it’s a crime scene hotspot. the last thing you want to is to be seen by the you know what and the you know who.
my magna outfit (read: hoodies, cap, jeans and sneakers) should be my de facto uniform over there. frankly, it’s not my style. but safety overrules personal comfort. especially if that means going home safe and sound every time instead of tempting faith just for that one disastrous moment.
now i realize that unless my company builds another site somewhere else more secure or i’m transferred back to our main headquarters (or you know, just resign and move to another job that’s preferably near my vicinity), i am not going to wear all my new stuff very often.
i know, it’s so tragic, you might as well shed a tear. fuck #firstworldproblems right?
reality has kicked in before i’ve even stepped back to work.
money does grow on trees right?
here’s to the holiday pay i’m about to work for in the next 2 weeks.
going to work was pretty easy. just line up and ride a jeepney. as always, i seated myself next to the jeepney entrance. i was expecting really heavy traffic, but surprisingly it was pretty average. no more worse than your usual morning commute.
the moment i saw the bestfriends carinderia, i immediately jumped off the jeepney and crossed the street. made it to the office in just an hour and a half.
we had lunch at bestfriends later. think about your local carinderia, but made more streamlined. you can even take advance orders by getting your pin number. and it’s open 24/7.
and it has character. from the kitschy christmas decors like the bright felt poinsettas and sparkly silver and gold ornaments and the bright green walls and the heart-shaped chairs, it reminds me of my school canteen back in grade school.
you can’t eat your lunch in peace though. jeepneys and/or motorcycles go blaringly vroom vroom every now and then.
but when i got off my shift and on my way home, i nearly almost quit. fuck the traffic. fuck being stranded in a halfway place. where there are dozens of people lined up along the streets, waiting for a jeepney as you do. where every jeep that passes by is jam packed and full.
i just decided to walk, walk and walk all the way to cubao. i lucked out getting on a jeepney to antipolo. once there, things rolled in place. when i reached my second dropoff and got the jeepney that will bring me all the way home, i was seated again at my usual spot. also bonus. the dude next to me didn’t eat up much of my personal space. probably because i look like a magna, as per my mom’s quick glance-over.
tomorrow, i have to buy beep cards and explore other venues to get out of anonas at 6 in the evening during prime time rush hour.
you know that photo top gear posted? the one with 2 express lanes, the right one being jam-packed with vehicles and the other one blissfully free and devoid of anything.
when your own government tells you to take a break and stop going outside for the next 4 days because they don’t want you to add even more to the clusterfuck they’ve done just to make sure everything goes really well for the foreigners, you know we’re beyond screwed.
beyond saving, even.
i’m lucky that i don’t live in a place that’s affected by the roadblocks and detours. i’m lucky that i work in a place that’s not affected by it. if only our office was a few kilometers closer to edsa, then i would’ve been just like any other commuter.
but it shouldn’t be a matter of luck. we have years to prepare for this international convention, and countless of horror stories of commuting in metro manila, and this is what we get? is it really hopeless to devise a system to make our roads less congested and prone to mind numbing traffic?
your life is a book. don’t forget to make your cover look nice and presentable. people like awesome, cool covers that catch their attention from the get-go. they don’t want bland, insipid covers that make them think of boring, dull stories.
but don’t judge a book by it’s cover!
if you don’t look for other people’s reviews, you might end up with a book with a fancy cover but with a badly cliched plot riddled with a bunch of plot holes.
in the span of 6 months, here’s how the team has been so far:
from 17 to 13
2 attrite (huhu)
2 people promoted (yahoo)
2 transferred (and 1 eventually an attrite)
2 teambuildings
and countless team pizza/lunch/etc.
but in the next month, here’s how i see it:
from 13 to 9
5 promoted (more to come next year i’m pretty sure)
1 on maternity leave (plus 2 more next year)
countless more team activities to come (christmas party, monita monito, kris kringle etc. etc.)
who knows? it’s likely they’ll bring in more people. hehe.
as for me, nearly a year here, i keep thinking about those good old days last december. when we were the very first batch for that market. when everything seemed magical and it was so hard not to bask in that feeling. so much that no matter how bad the traffic got on my way home, i still enjoyed the experience.
who thought we’d still be the ones left standing? ha. in all seriousness, i’m not surprised and yet still taken aback every time i hear someone leaving. this is a fickle industry not known for stability. where the money goes, they follow.
just like everything else.
excuse this abomination of an ode, but the generous dollop of cream cheese topped with a dash of rock salt in my milk tea deserves all my love and devotion in praising the powers that be.
i had a fun time using my spoon licking the copious amounts of cream cheese and taking a sip of milk tea.
my boss is super cool. well, one of them anyway. i have tons of bosses from higher management. he told me how to present something differently that’s still true and very serious but not scary at the same time.
the art of telling people something important that they’re not going to like but you need to show them how urgent it is without having to resort to fear is something i still have to master.
listen, i never expected i’ll get to work this industry. to work in this position. if i knew what i was getting into, i might never have worked up the courage to apply for it.
but here i am, nearly a year later and doing what i can do best to do my job. i’ve been burned out and made mistakes along the way, but the people around still put their faith in me. i’m never alone, no matter how distant i’m feeling from them on my lowest lows.
this is why i’m here.
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