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if i look back, i am lost
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@theretherebaby
I canât seem to figure out what I just encountered tonight and I think I might be out of my mind. For some back story, sometimes when I canât sleep I go sit out back at the family graveyard. I know itâs not like this everywhere, but here in Tennessee youâre allowed to bury your family right on your property. My family has owned this land for generations and there are 2 family cemeteries here. One that is more recent, the one where I usually hang out, it is well maintained and all the graves have nicely upkept grave houses and one that is much older, a few hundred feet behind the newer one, the grave houses have mostly rotted away and the tombstones have faded to a point where they cannot be read anymore, itâs separated from the other cemetery by a row of trees. I donât keep that one up as much because I donât really know whoâs in those graves and theyâre so old and dilapidated it would be a lot of time and money I donât have to restore them. Anyways, while I was out at the new cemetery I heard crying coming from the old one. It sounded like a man, and like a very real man, not faint or ghastly at all. Peaking through the tree line I couldnât see much but I saw a glowing light like maybe that of a candle. There shouldnât be any other people in this lot, its private property so I am a little put off, but Iâm not the only descendant of the people buried there, maybe he is older, maybe he knew them. I always carry the old pistol my papaw gave me when Iâm out in the wooded areas of these hills just in case I wander into some wildlife that would rather make lunch than friends so I wasnât too frightened by the idea of approaching the man I heard, but when I came through the treeline I felt my heart fall into my kneecaps as I was frozen by fear and confusion. It wasnât a man. Hunkered over, scavanging through one the graves under an old decrepit gravehouse was a creature like Iâve never witnessed before, it looked like a coyote, but was humanoid like a werewolf. It looked emaciated and mangy, itâs head was mostly skeletal with barely any skin left, when it turned to face me I realized what I had seen earlier was not a candle but the orange glow of the creatures eyes. I could still hear the crying but it didnât seem to be coming from the coyote thing. It raised one of its paws to its mouth revealing long, sharp, boney finger like claws. When I tried to move it screeched loud, making a sound as if a human were being torn limb for limb. I considered shooting it , but it didnât move toward me, and I didnât know how fast it was. It just stared at me a while before slowly moving on to digging through another forgotten grave. When it was no longer looking at me anymore I ran as fast as I could back to my house and locked all my doors. Iâm still not sure what that was, when I was little my mamaw, a very traditional Melungeon woman, said that we make gravehouses to protect from a creature that devours unprotected or lost souls. She called it a D'gogwa and she said they come from humans who are cursed by their unforgivable actions like cannibalism, rape, slavery, etc. They are cursed to roam the earth, with an insatiable hunger, looking for souls to eat up. Was what I saw a D'gogwa? Were the cries coming from it or the soul it was eating? Iâm thinking itâs time to clean up those old graves and give them new houses.
So glad I found this post, my friend just had a similar encounter and I knew I had wrote this down somewhere. That was such a scary night.
Appalachian Elegy - bell hooks
here is your gentle reminder that there are dandelions growing through cracks in the sidewalk. there is a fence lizard on the porch who is growing a new tail. there are trees growing through an abandoned house, branches tearing through the ceiling, ferns carpeting the floor. there is life pushing forward, pushing through.Â
Time to get spooky!
It is hard to notice, I would not have on my own.
a newspaper article from the early 1900s talking about magisaba.
https://malungu.history.org/record/2636989#.XObQ7RZE3
I found a book called âIn a Graveyard at Midnightâ at a local estate sale and its the only one Iâve ever found besides Yarns My Mammy Spun that has anything about magisaba. I am happy as a pig in a cold mud pit. I guess I been spelling it wrong though.
dissociation
ok to rb
part ll
okay to rb
Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. Youâre doing just fine.
Charlotte Eriksson (via wordsnquotes)
Situations like this are why I donât give a shit when white people try and justify things using legality. Settler laws have only harmed native people.
dont shame borderlines for things they cant prevent
All my friends: you need to learn how to feel complete on your own before you get in a relationship!!
My borderline/dependent ass: ...anyways
the ways he left me last year