Weeks has passed since the meeting and even more since Nissa found herself bitten by one she is supposed to call her friend. Even though one thought the foundation of this project to be stable would it appear as if I was gravely mistaken. There were so many things that I did not consider and with the instability of my own ‘brother’ has this entire cause taken a turn that I could never so much as forsee. Even now I find myself at a crossroad where any decision I make only seems to breed consequences that I am not willing to face. The simplest course of action would definitely be to completely eradicate this foul pack that Xavier speaks of once and for all. Their existence has already caused enough harm to my plans and letting them linger for much longer seems to be nothing but a nuisance.
Perhaps it is a challenge that we need. Something to unify what we currently have and turning all these individual sects into one firm collective that’ll more effectively bring the cause together and set it on its proper path. Of course it will be a difficult task but it is one that I deem necessary for the sake of finishing what I have started. With Emeri now being absent and Xavier’s mind not being that of his own I can do nothing but to hope that Nissa does as she is told and that Lorelei comes through with her objectives.
That being said I cannot fully expect each and every piece of the puzzle to fit perfectly. I await many struggles along the way and all of them will be conquered in one way or another. A man’s mind is never something I can fully predict for all acts differently under varying circumstances. My brother is a perfect example. Once a proud knight now turned into a savage beast that hunts for the sake of satisfying a supernatural being. A being that no sane man would even acknowledge as their superiour. Then again, Xavier is far from being a sane man by now and even though there’s hope I’ve already made the decision that if he does not wander off the road which he follows soon… I’ll personally make sure that his soul is put to rest.
Darker thoughts aside I must say that I have begun to find stability in my daily life. If one ignores the previously mentioned obstacles then I’d say that things have calmed down. The departure of Alaric was perhaps partially the reason as to why I am not as disorientated these days. The fact that the ceaseless bickering within my family has finally come to an end also brings me relief. Lainie studies calmly in Wayrest with both me and Lorelei keeping an eye on her whilst Lysara, just like her brother, disappeared. With the history that they both carried with myself I am relieved that such trouble is now gone and replaced with a family I can rely on instead of having a constant fear that they will do something foolish where I must later be the one to clean up their mistakes.
That along with the fact that I’ve found someone who grants me a peace of mind. One of those rare gems few men manages to ever come to obtain. An anchor for my every choice that keeps my mind focused and without second thoughts. Even though my pride refuses to admit it openly I can safely say that she is one of the reasons as to why I manage to remain in control. With all these adversity I know that had it been two years ago things would have turned out much different from what it is today. However, even with such reassurance I cannot begin to think of what the future holds.
