I know we talk about our boys and angst a lot but do we ever acknowledge how hard Baz had it? Like just in general? Because place yourself in that situation and tell me you don’t wanna walk into the ocean.
First of all, vampirism. I mean yeah, I know we touch that a lot in canon and as a fandom but like. Imagine. You’re a vampire which is already bad enough. But you can hardly feed yourself anymore because you get panic attacks in the dark. Almost everyone you know either ignored it, doesn’t trust you for it, or would kill you for it. Your own mother would have killed you for it. Not to mention Baz’s constant fear of hurting people because of it. This ain’t Twilight.
Childhood trauma! Family issues! He may not remember it all that well, but he watched his mother die! His father went reclusive pretty soon afterward for a while. Nobody ever talked to him about things and other than Fiona (and even somewhat Fiona), he grew up in a family that never talked or genuinely interacted. We’ve gotten glimpses of Baz’s daddy issues.
Pressure! All the pressure on him! He was basically the Simon of the Old Families right? Fiona puts so much pressure on him to get revenge on The Mage and Simon and just aaa. His dad literally asked if he wanted to call in the Old Families for “assistance” when he had Simon over. This segues into my other points.
He loves Simon! Like can you imagine that? The person you love more than anyone else hates you, everyone else wants you to hate him and for him to hate you. One of you is supposed to kill the other one day. Like, imagine how traumatic that would be? Killing the boy you love and being congratulated for it. And Baz had accepted this into his life. It’s so sad because he’d just come to terms with the fact that he would never be allowed to be happy and would probably be killed by the one he loves anyway. The one he loves, who hates him! And who Baz has to pretend to hate because he doesn’t feel like he can have Simon and because he knows they can’t make their own choices about that!
Can we talk about Baz’s mental health? Like it must have been so messed up. Like combine all of the above and the stuff with his sexuality (which I will get into) and just,,,,again, I would’ve just broken down with all this stuff on me. And we know Baz obviously has suicidal thoughts (smoking, the forest fire, fantasies about Simon killing him and putting him out of his misery). I may be wrong, but I feel like once he mentioned why he didn’t just finish what his Mother started (killing him) but wouldn’t because of some reason or another. And it’s one thing to think your mom would want you dead (which is already pretty bad) but there’s also the fact that everyone knows she would have killed you herself. And Baz was probably stressed literally 24/7 because he was never safe or comfortable. People always expected something from him or were waiting for him to slip up.
And lastly, the GayTM. So, we all know Baz’s family wasn’t the most tolerant (”Definitely more disappointed by my queerness than my undeadness.”). So yeah, he had some internalized homophobia. He felt like, if he survived the War, he wouldn’t be allowed to be happy anyway. He talked about marrying Agatha, while it was to spite Simon, but then also because it would satisfy his father’s want for more Pitches, he could give Agatha a house and they would never see each other, and he could run off to find a bunch of men who looked exactly like Simon and break their hearts in various ways.
Conclusion: Baz deserves so much better in Wayward Son. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
Comment anything you think I missed! Should I do one of these for Simon because I have a lot of feelings about Simon too?
andulkaphoto
snowghoul
baratheonpilled
areudirty
vaporwave
