ThingsNobodyCaresAboutButNeedToBeSaid

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

Everything is a painful memory and a stab at my feelings.

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

I feel like you have an alcohol problem. I also feel like you are gay and won't admit it because your parents might judge you...and honestly, it wouldn't suprise me one bit. My first boyfriend was a sissy and super sensitive, yet he is married to a girl now. My second boyfriend was more of a man but with a sassy side with feelings...dating a girl who he will probably marry. My third boyfriend...oh wait...we never actually had a title. This guy who took me on dates and hung out with was a manly guy who was into motorcycles, rock music, worked for what he wanted, mostly mature...dated a manly looking female for like two weeks then they broke up. Currently he hangs out with known gay males and gets drunk with them. Low key gay. Watch the one I thought was for sure straight is probably the gay one.

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

I just want to grow up, have a career I enjoy, marry an amazing man that I'm head over heels in love with who feels the same about me, and have a family. Totally not asking for a lot, right?

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

We're so the same but we are so different. That's what I loved about us.

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

I'm so afraid that I will never feel the same way about anyone other than you. I'm so afraid I will never be as attracted to someone as I am to you. I'm so afraid that I will be alone forever or settle for someone I am not over the moon for.

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

How does my comforter still smell like you?

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

I really don't have any substantial reasons to be depressed...yet...I am. I find myself wasting my days accomplishing nothing besides going through the motions. I have an existential crisis on more than one occasion each day. I lack motivation. I wish I had someone who loved me. I felt so alive with him, but now I fear I will never feel alive again.

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

I don't really do much without you but that's okay because one day I will have my way..

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

Honestly,

I really just want to know why you unfriended me and why you took me on dates but never dated me.

[raptorific]

Swear to god, some guys are terrified that girls are faking common interests to impress them and act really hostile towards anyone they even SUSPECT of doing such a thing

but then they turn around and fake a whole friendship in the hopes of getting sex out of girls, and get mad at them when it doesn’t work

and they super do not see the irony in that

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

Because of you I catch myself saying: ...but is it really? Don't lie to me! Bonkers. You always said the weirdest things, not that the above things were weird...I'm talking about things like "it's so cold I could cut glass!" In the moment it's kind of like what just happened? But now I wish I heard them all of the time. I miss the variety in my life, the smile you put on my face, and the warmth you filled my heart with. I even miss your random cursing when you were nervous. One day soon I won't be bitter about what could have been but appreciate the month you made me feel at home and alive.

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

My mom bought those cookies you liked that one time you ate dinner with us. Even though our relationship ended on poor terms, today I only have fond memories of you. All of the laughs, all of those looks where we instantly knew what the other was thinking, and all the sentences we finished for each other...those are what I remember most. Thinking of your mannerisms brings a smile to my face. I know you will soon be engaged and make someone a wonderful husband. I wish you all the happiness in the world and that one day something will remind you of me and smile at the memories of all the same things.

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

Happy New Year.

Feeling bittersweet indeed.

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

I fight the urge to contact you everyday. I miss you so much and I know I shouldn't. I can't help the way I feel, though... What do I do? Should I give in and tell you I miss you or should I keep the silence up that you created?

[therelatableimages]

[animalsnaps]

personal quotes to brighten your day!

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

Yes

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

I fucking crave your attention. I miss knowing what is going on in your life. I hate not having you there for me. I hate thinking that you hate me. I hate that I wasn't the one. I hate that I hope someday you might realize you want me to be part of your life again. I just don't know why you were only in my life for such a brief time. I fucking miss you and I can't tell you because you don't care.

[thesearemyinnerthoughts]

Things I need to get out of my memory.

-you walking me to my car every time I left your house -you coming with me and Shelby after your concert -you ordering fries and a milkshake -you telling me take a sip of the milkshake -you asking for permission -you coming to my house around 2am -you sitting in my garage when you had work in like 5 hours and you hadn't slept at all yet -you putting my guitar stuff back in its place after taking it out to play -you coming to the door before taking me out to eat -you surprising me at work with your band's CD and staying with me for most of my shift talking to me -you suprising me that Sunday to take me out to eat on my break. Attack hugging me included. -you surprising me the night I was going to suprise you with a movie date by showing up at the end of my shift and taking me out to eat then coming to my house to let me change before going to the haunted hotel and seeing what turned out to be a not so awesome movie. -you letting me come to your shop to share your vision with me -you laying on my bed because I told you I liked the smell of you on my pillows -you taking us to your shop and talking until 3am -you charming my parents -you giving me the princess cup -you kissing me like I love -you honking my car horn while driving -you putting your hand on my leg while driving -all of those movie nights -all of those Portlandia/Always Sunny/ Ed,Ed,Eddy/ Futurama marathons -you swooping in on my horrible friend dinner with that guy -you offering to carry me to my car -you kissing me in a romantic movie like kind of awkward cheesey but super cute way -you holding my hand going through the haunted hotel -you holding my hand through the movie -you letting me see the band ritual before shows -me never getting to ride on your motorcycle or in your truck -me never getting the official title of your girlfriend -me never getting to be super cute with you because I didn't know what you wanted from me (clearly wasn't to be your girlfriend) -me never understanding why you unfriended me -me never understanding why you kept me on other social networks -why did you look at my snap chat story on Christmas? -me never getting to add your parents on Facebook -me never getting to be introduced to your brother -me never getting to be part of your family -me never getting to make you happy -me never getting to see your smile -those eyes -hear your voice -work at your shop with you -know about the progress of said shop -tell you funny things I find that remind me of you -include you in my life -learn to drum/teach you cool drum things -celebrate everything with you My family still talks about you. They loved you. I have no idea why, but when your family loves who you like...I kind of think that means they are a keeper. I wish I could have kept you. I wish you would have kept me.