It seems unnatural being born together and then dying apart.

Noah Ashby, 18: The Other Brother. Diagnosis: Depression, Suicidal Tendencies, Self Harm, Drug Addiction.

[calebashby]

Noah?

“Can we talk?”

@thesecondashby

[thesecondashby-blog]

“Really wish we “talked” more when it wasn’t time for you to give me bad news.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“Our main goal though is to help you guys, it’d be pretty self centered of us to just talk about ourselves the whole time. Wouldn’t it?” She asked tilting her head to the side. “I don’t know about the therapists you’ve had in the past but I’m here to offer support and any type of guidance I can. I’m not here to ‘fix’ anyone because it’d not that simple.”

“Otherwise, though, you sound like you’re just... listening to us. No idea anything about you guys, so we go back to whatever shit we’re doing after we lose something. Not fair,” Noah said nonchalantly, averting his eyes. “I don’t need either of those things--s’exactly why I shouldn’t be here. I don’t want to be fixed, but I don’t need ‘support’ or ‘guidance.’” 

[thesecondashby-blog]

“Really? You just spat at him? I’m almost disappointed. Almost, that took some balls to do too.  I’ve had a few, but this one was one I actually miss. We were good friends, but I liked him more and I think he felt that way too. I mean, we were more than just that. We will just call him Kai for now. So he was a tech wizard and had these crack pot conspiracy theories and I played along. He wanted to get the laptop so we could jack the wifi. I created a distraction and he got the wifi. It worked too, I mean he ended up just getting the wifi password off the the laptop so we used his laptop after, but you know. It was some 007 and Q shit. I was Bond of course, but it was fun.”

“Of course--not nearly a kinda Bond move, I gotta say, but I’m not about to blow shit up in this place. Earthquake did enough damage for me for a while. Something happen to this Kai guy, or are you just giving him a nickname so I don’t call him out, get on my little knees and beg him to hack somethin’?”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“That’s not how it works, sweetie. We don’t get paychecks for getting someone released and we don’t do these jobs for the money.” She took a moment to think. “I genuinely want to know why you don’t like it.” She stated.

Noah sat puzzled for a moment, struggling to decide if he trusted the woman in front of him. “--Because it’s hypocritical. You don’t hear therapists talking about their shit to us. Because it’s a waste of time if some of us are fine, or people are meddling in things bigger than them, things some of us want to be left alone to do and fix.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“Hm..” She trailed off. “So apart from everyone else and their reasons, why do you hate therapy?”

“--No, you’re not gonna pull that. None of the... no ‘so what do you think’ bullshit with me. I just don’t wanna be here, so don’t try turning the tables to land a better paycheck for getting someone released.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“I know changing therapists so often is really hard.” She said nodding. She knew that it took a toll on the kids and it broke her heart to see him having no faith in the therapist patient relationship. “It doesn’t have to be like that though. I won’t force you to come in and talk to me outside of check in times but It’d be nice. Maybe this time things can be different.”

“Things don’t just become ‘different.’ I don’t... I don’t like therapy. It’s something every kid in here fucking hates, so it switching around isn’t a bad thing, and I wouldn’t choose to willingly come and talk to anyone in my free time if I can do something less... horrible. --S’just honesty.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“You and I are both stuck here until a doctor shows up, why not keep the other entertained and I’m sure you’re not up for my other idea of fun. So, go on and I might tell you the time me and an old fling nearly stole a doctor’s laptop for better wifi.”

“--Asshole showed up, I spat on his shoes ‘stead of throwing punches, and bolted. Now.... you and an old fling? First, doctor’s laptop story, then maybe how the hell you got an old fling in this place. Figured everyone was miserable, and... dying.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“Don’t know kiddo. Why?”

“--Sooner it’s changed, the sooner we can both move on. Reassigning just means ‘getting to know’ another therapist, and another. Keeps things slow rolling, simple... okay.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“I’ve been poked to many times to be scared, but it doesn’t mean I like them. I’ve got a shitty excuse for an immune system, actually.”

“Touche. is that the reason you’re in this place, or are there additional charges to the shitty excuse? For an immune system, I mean.” 

[thesecondashby-blog]

“So I was walking down the hallway, minding my own business, and some weird ass.... look, it’s not that interesting. You got a better idea of what I could do instead of telling boring stories...?”

[mirahumboldt-deactivated2016021]

“Flu season. My favorite time of the year.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“Afraid of needles?”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“Just wanted to get acquainted. I’m your therapist, Dr. Bryant.” She smiled while readjusting herself on the chair.

“...Right. How long ‘til the next cycle of reassigning?”

[kim-bryant]

“May I please speak with Delaney, Maleah, Noah, Grayson, Jamie, and my intern Amanda?”  @delaney-heights @mistrustful-maleah @thesecondashby @waywardgrayson @jamie-smythe @amandacolemanrp

[thesecondashby-blog]

“--What do you wanna talk about?”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“I don’t really read peoples’ files unless they’re my patients, and even then I usually would rather them just talk to me instead. But okay, trying is better than not trying.”

“Er, well... Caleb, my brother--he’s got cancer, and we’re 18, and.. he wants to cut his losses. Says he can do it ‘cause we’re legally adults.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“Hey, of course! What’s up?” 

“I don’t know if you therapists get information on all the, uh... the patients, but my brother.. he has cancer. He... we’ve hit a bit of a rough patch about it. Taking his advice for talking about it or, er.... Trying.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

Caleb shrugged, though his brother’s obvious disapproval bothered him. Caleb was dying. And, if there was a way around that, death wouldn’t be something he’d be considering. But, unfortunately, he was also suffering. “Then, don’t take them, Noah. See your therapist. Talk to someone. My meds, even on the meds, I’ve got 12 months. 12 pitiful, painful, and tortured months. You giving up is like.. a crime, Noah! You’re not dying! You’re alive and you’re healthy! I’m sick! I’m weak, and there isn’t one day that goes by that I actually feel well anymore! You, Kara.. you’re both going to lose me eventually, no matter how much you force me to hang on. The question is.. how much do I have to suffer, because I know my brother is going to do something dangerous or Kara’s going to need my liver because hers is shot? I need you to be strong, because the fact is, Noah, they gave me years. Years that I shouldn’t have had. But, there isn’t some miracle cure for this shit. And, like it or not, I’m not going to get to see us old and wrinkled.”

Noah’s anger boiled over, the weights tipping in favour of a meltdown. Raising his hands to the sides of his face, he felt the nails of his fingers begin to dig into his temples, his jaw clenched and his eyes sworn shut. Each word pushed him further and further over the cliff until, as he felt his teeth grinding, the fuse went off. “--You’re the biggest goddamn hypocrite, Caleb.” The words spat out like acid, all sense of direction evading Noah. “I can’t just talk to my therapist. Not everyone is as blessed you are with the ability to share their fucking feelings--I don’t feel alive, I don’t feel healthy. Taking my meds make me feel like shit, going off them makes me feel like shit. Only difference between you and me is you’ve got people working to cure you. Kara-this and Kara-that-- you want her to live so bad, I’ll give her my fucking liver, bite the bullet and let you two live your goddamn happily ever after, but quit acting like you’re some kinda hero for keeping me here. I don’t want to be here, and I don’t need to be here. I’m only here as your parts, and if you think for one second that I’m gonna forgive you for that, you’re dead fucking wrong, Caleb.”

[thesecondashby-blog]

“You’re kind of the... you’re the only one I really thought it’d be halfway decent to talk to. That okay with you?”

[ @rhymeswithkennedy ]