OH REALLY?

Independent self-insert genderbent role-play blog for the Nexus verse (Still under development). Willing to role-play with just about anyone~. Current M!A: None Tracking: theseductivekouhai

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ “2015… well then.” He then took a moment to tap at his fingers, looking to the sky before he responded. “That means I’m 200 years in the past.” He stopped and stared at Nero. “I’m 200 years in the past…” He put his hand on his head and kind of chuckled nervously. “That explains a lot then. Why I don’t recognize the scenery and why you’re so young. Wait, then that means this is waaaay before Duke adopts me, so to you he’s not my dad at all.” He then smiled.

“So this is my Nero before he got all old and grumpy. Wow, you look so much happier, even if you’re really confused right now. I got a question, you know Buddy and James too at this time? They really never told me how long you’ve known them, I’ve been rather curious but you know, getting Duke to answer any of my questions is hard when he’s always focused on work or keeping me safe from…whatever since he won’t tell me that either. I dunno who else you would know, probably no one since they’re all about my age besides those three after all. Oh, we’re also dating, you and me, and Duke is dating my best friend, Jack but you know, he’s still kinda stiff and stuff. So like, can I hug you? I really want to, is that okay?” Shou just started speaking quickly, showering Nero with information and questions, a clearly showing his childish curiosity and energy.

[theseductivekouhai]

        “...uh... yeah-- I know them...” Nero had no clue how to react to any of this. What was this guy talking about--?! “I-I guess?” Face contorted in confusion-- the blonde backed away from the other a bit. Hesitant about letting this kid touch him. He was saying some really crazy stu--

       “Hold on a sec... did you just say that you and I are dating--?” Um... what--? “Are you serious...? Your joking-- right...?” Nero knew very well that Shou had a thing for Namihiko-- so wouldn’t this other Shou have a thing for him to--? 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ “W-well you’re Nero, but younger. Like, that’s your soul and your face, but so much younger. Wait… what did happen before I got here anyway?” He stopped and attempted to think. “I was with Atticus and you and then… uhhhh… I can’t remember, that’s bad uhhh.”  He stopped speaking for a moment, his face getting serious for a moment. 

“Wait, I got it!” He popped back from his silence rather quickly. “Tell me what’s the date today. Well, the year. What year is it? That will totally solve this confusion.” He said with a smile and a nod, only to feel slightly dizzy again and he immediately regretted what he had just done until the feeling passed.

“Like, because, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I have a feeling I’m in the wrong year all of a sudden.”

[theseductivekouhai]

      “Uh... it’s 2015.” Voice filled with confusion-- Nero tried desperately to register the situation. Which-- didn’t work out to well... All he managed to do was hurt his head. 

      “Of course I’m me... Wait-- you just said you were with me-- I’m so confused...” Neros head was hurting from trying to comprehend this-- Was he going to turn into an old man like the mutt???       “Uh... I’m just over 200 if that helps...” He assumed that he already knew that-- so it wouldn’t make much of a difference if he knew he was old (least in human years--).

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ “Lost… yeah, that’s it.” He said, rubbing at his eyes, trying to get his vision to focus. Clearly he was not getting the results he desired very quickly and his frustration showed slightly. 

“Sorry. I’m really dizzy. I have no idea how I got here either and, uh, where are my manners.” He gently slapped his hand against his face and then attempted to straighten himself out. Forcing a smile onto his face, though clearly he wasn’t feeling too well. He held out his hand.

“My name is Shou, Shou Dane. Its nice to meet you, uh…” He opened his eyes again to look at the figure, his expression changing to a bit of shock as he saw the other somewhat clearly for the first time. That figure, that spirit, they looked so familiar. Wait…was that…?

“Nero…?”

[theseductivekouhai]

        The blonde was just about to reach out to the other-- when he called his name. Confusion overtook his expression, as he peered at him with suspicion. 

        “Yeah-- that is indeed my name...” His voice trailed off slightly-- looking at the other closer now. That name... and that face-- “... You look just like...” The realization soon came to him- jumping back a bit from the other. “YOUR SHOU!-- but... younger--???” Confusion and shock overtook the blondes features-- scanning the other up and down. 

       “... and why do you have that old mutt’s last name...?” What the hell was going onnnn??????

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ “I see…and although you may think that I don’t need to apologize. I do…and, well I always do.” He shrugged, slowly reaching his hand out again, this time gently touching Nero’s shoulder. He force himself to smile, though it was clear he didn’t feel like it at all. 

“Just…thank you, I guess, for being here for me no matter what. Even if I can do things that get me annoyed, or well… I think will bother you.” He shrugged and continued to smile. 

~Both Unaware of what was happening elsewhere~

Shou slowly sat up and groaned. His body ached, his head was spinning, and he was having issues thinking straight. 

“Where am I…?” He asked softly, looking around. His vision was hazy and it was hard to see straight. All he knew was that he was pretty sure he was close to someone…or some spirit. 

“H-hello?” He asked the figure before him. “Can you tell me where am I?” He asked as he attempted to stand up, clearly wobbling as he did so. 

[theseductivekouhai]

         Hearing a soft voice behind him-- the blonde turned. Eyes holding confusion, he looked at the stranger that now stood unsteadily before him. A smile soon stretched across the blondes lips. Skipping towards the other to close the short distance between them-- his attitude seemed all around cheery and full of life.

        “Hello-- lost-- huh~? Do you live around this area perhaps--?” Nero had just been strolling around town aimlessly-- wanting to get away from everything-- nonetheless, he knew the area pretty well. Right now they were right near the town-- 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ Shou heard him coming closer and he slowly moved to look. Unable to keep his head down as he got closer. Despite how he got nervous looking at others, he did feel that he needed to give Nero such attention. After all he was trying so hard to cheer him up and well… he was giving him so much attention.

“I guess not, but… I do feel a need to do so. I’m sorry, you will just have to deal with it, unfortunately.” He sighed yet again, finding that fe feeling of guilt weighed heavily on him, enough so that he was having issues banishing the feeling. Only to feel a need to make a comment on his last statement.

“Either way… You have been there for me when to talk, and well…even now, even though I’m acting this way you’re here. Maybe not the you I know, but you are here.” He looked away for a second before looking at Nero. “I would say I didn’t expect it, but I kind of do when I think about how you always were there for me until well I basically forced you all away by moving.” He looked down again. “I really appreciate it… despite being who I am.” He started to move to sit up, reaching out to touch Nero, only to draw his hand back halfway there. “Uh… like that.” He sighed and looked down. “Sorry…”

[theseductivekouhai]

        “Like I said-- it’s fine.” A smile remained on the blonde’s face as he stood. “I know I’ll have to deal with it-- I’ve known you for longer than you know, remember?” 

       “I love you, remember that. Even though it doesn’t seem like it at times-- I still do. That is why I have been there for you all this time-- even though right now I kind of failed with that...” A sigh escaped the blondes lips as he continued-- “Either way, I’m here because I want to be. You don’t need to apologize for being yourself.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ “I see…” He nodded, looking at Nero and sighing softly. “Even though… even though you say that, I can’t help feeling guilty. ITs just in my nature to do things like that, you know that, maybe?” He spoke, sighing. “I… I just am not able to do anything without feeling guilty. Like… hugging someone, and then not letting them do it back, or do it again. Its been like that my whole life…” He took a deep breath and shook his head. 

“It makes me feel bad…because I forget insecurities for only a moment, then it comes back all too quickly and, well…” He sighed. “I feel terrible, but there’s nothing I can do about it at the end. I just have to sit there and know that I do things without thinking and it hurts people…its selfish and I can’t stop it.” He sighed deeply and slowly put his head down on the table. Resting his forehead against his arms. “I’m sorry, I feel selfish knowing that I do this and yet I can’t warn anyone because I feel that I will throw them too far away from me and in the end…” He sighed heavily and shook his head. 

“I think that you would understand this already, but…yeah…” He took another deep breath and relaxed into his spot. This was a horrible feeling. Why did it linger on him when he did this, even after what Nero had said? 

Damn it…

[theseductivekouhai]

         “I know... It’s part of who you are, and like all the rest of you-- I accept it.” A smile made it’s way onto the blondes face yet again. “I know it makes your feel bad-- and that you can’t help it... I know the way your mind works. What you’ve been through, what you’ve done-- etc.” 

        “You don’t have to warn me about yourself... I’m already aware of who you are, and what your like.” Walking back over to the purplette, he once again, kneeled down in front of him. However-- this time he refrained from taking his hand. “I know who you are-- however... I think the problem here, is that your unaware of who I am.”          “You know me in this timeline... yet-- you know nothing about me. How I was raised, my thought pattern, etc.” A sigh escaped his lips. “You can already tell I’m different-- no? In this timeline still-- you wouldn’t be able to predict my actions. I was nothing but a facade during this time after all.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔Shou sat in silence as the other spoke. Waiting for him to finish with what he was saying before responding. He wanted to sort out his thoughts, as well as listen to what Nero had to say. Even after all he thought of Nero, he still trusted him in this life time. With some of his biggest secrets and his most personal thoughts without personally knowing why he was like this.

Unknown to them both that it was the bits of Shiloh that poked through when he did those things. 

“I guess not… still.” He sighed. “I guess you get it. Even though I might find myself explaining myself regardless of what you say.” Shou figured it was best to get that out of the way by letting him know that, even if he already knew. 

“And even if you’re fine with what I just did, I don’t know how I feel about it.” He took a deep breath, unable to hold in his thoughts. “You probably know this, but as much as I am afraid to let people touch me… I really miss the comfort of letting others be close to me. Even when I was little I kept people at a physical distance, but at least back then I would let people give me hugs when I was sad and stuff like that. I really want that to be okay again but… I don’t know. I am just really uncomfortable, I have been for a long time…and I told you why.” He wrapped his arms around himself loosely, as if trying to pretend he was crossing his arms. 

“I feel like that’s never going to go away and, well, I don’t want to like hold your hand one second and then freak out the next because you touch me without me expecting it… its wrong of me to do so, so I have to apologize.” The words just sort of poured out of him and he couldn’t stop it, so much so that he started to hide his face after he was finished. 

“S-sorry, Nero.”

[theseductivekouhai]

       The blonde stood silent as the other spoke. Listening to his words as they flowed from his lips unsteadily. Nero knew all of this. Knew why he didn’t like to be touched, knew that in reality-- he didn’t want it to be that way. Nero had lived through this time before, and knew what it brought.         Nonetheless...

      “I know you feel as though you need to apologize-- and if you really feel you have to, thats alright... However, know that you have no reason to apologize. In fact...” Looking up at the ceiling, Nero attempted to gather his thoughts. Formulate his words before he spoke. He had to say this carefully, so that he did not offend... “I should be the one apologizing to you.”         “My life is long-- and long ago, I tainted you. I hurt you, like a giant crushing a butterfly.” Of course-- he was referring to far in the past, but since the other didn’t have this knowledge, he would not be aware of that. “I muddied your fate. Brought you despair, and unmeant pain. I did this to all of you. I was an ignorant young fool. I knew that my words contained venom sometimes, but pretended to be oblivious to that fact. I teased you, and ignored you for a long time during one of your most difficult times. For this, I am sorry-- but I know very well that I cannot turn back time, and I cannot undo what has been done. The me of this time will remain the way he is, and I shall make no attempt to change him. However, I will stay by your side, and attempt to at least right one of my wrongs. This is the least I can do for you.” 

       Looking at the purplette once again-- all remnants of the blonde’s previous smile seemed to be vacant from his features.        “Know that I won’t ever be troubled by you pulling away from me, or flinching from my touch. I’ve known you for longer than you know, and something like that... I will always show sympathy towards. For I know your story, and why you are like this. Why you are you.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ Shou continued to sit there, staring at his hand that the other held. Somehow he didn’t feel odd about it. He didn’t feel the need to pull away, or make the other let go. To be honest, he even felt the need and then even proceeded to hold onto Nero’s hand in return. Somehow this felt good, this felt better than Nero just holding his hand. 

“I know, or rather, I guess I could tell… because I also hate lying. I hate it when people aren’t honest with me, or hide things from me on purpose.” He sighed. “So as much as I regret it, I understand why you wouldn’t tell me. It would have caused me to censor myself a little more than… a lot more than I ever have with you.” He found himself staring intensely at their hands for a long time before he finally looked up at Nero. 

“Either way, I still know I said some pretty harsh things and I still want to apologize, even if its just to this you and not the one I know.” He said with a shrug before looking down again at their hands. Still not letting go, or moving away from Nero for a while before he seemed to snap to a realization of what he had been doing and he looked away, pulling his hand back slightly in his shock, but not really enough to make Nero let go unless he wanted to. 

“Sorry, I don’t know what I was doing. I spaced out a bit…” His face showing he felt a tad bit embarrassed, but overall a bit surprised himself for doing such a thing, after all this time of feeling off about people touching him. What had gotten into him just then?

[theseductivekouhai]

     The blonde was a bit surprised when he felt the other’s hand move. Thinking that he was just causing the other moderate discomfort with his touch. He allowed the other to pull his hand away after a moment-- looking a bit curiously up at the other. Had Nero triggered something in the other...? Grabbed-- and pulled a bit of Shiloh to the surface--?       No-- that was wishful thinking, and insanely absurd.      “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” A small smile came over the blondes face. Rising to his feet- he went to lean against a nearby wall.      “I am well aware of how you feel about lying...” A small chuckle rose from his throat. He had known him for how long now...? Nero knew the other’s personality in and out-- so to speak-- “... and I am well aware of how you must view me.” His smile dampened slightly. “I am aware of this... and I am aware that what I’ve been doing has ultimately hurt you--” Indirectly of course. “--made you feel guilty, etc... Honestly-- I cannot blame you. I would feel the same as well.” In other words... Nero hated himself. 

    “That being said... with how things have played out in this little play of ours-- I had no choice...” Another sigh departed from his lips. “It is unfortunate, but that is merely the cruelty of reality.”      “... It’s kind of ironic-- isn’t it? In order to strive for honesty-- I had to deceive...” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ “But still. When I got mad at you, I said some hurtful things. Things I would never have said if I had known.” He clearly wasn’t taking this too well. His always thinking and over thinking mind clearly taking control of what he was saying. Being who Shou was, this should have been predicted. 

“Even… even if our connection wasn’t that deep, you know, I would have been kinder. I just…” He took a deep breath and tried his best not to get too worked up about it, but clearly he was, and this was heading into a dangerous area with Shou with how much regret he was feeling.

“I’m not saying knowing would have changed my mind on Namihiko or anything but…” He took another deep breath. Looking now at the hand that Nero had held onto. Geeze, how could this guy still look at him the same? Damn… Even if he was just saying those things out of anger, without thinking. How could he? Shou didn’t get it, and it clearly was paining him to know that he had been that harsh, even if the other didn’t mind it.

[theseductivekouhai]

      A sigh left the blonde’s lips. Looking down at the hand he held-- Nero remained silent for a moment. Thinking.       “... There is also the fact that I didn’t want you to know...” His eyes seemed distant. “There are many things I can’t tell you. About you-- about me-- about everybody...” 

     “However, one thing I can tell you-- is that I wanted you to be honest with me. Not babying me because of what I’d been through,  and especially not because of my feelings.”       “I didn’t want you to change. I wanted you to be you-- wanted you to be honest-- wanted you to be truthful. Lies are something I despise... I didn’t want your feelings or opinions to be disguised.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ Shou looked at him with a bit of a confused look. He was going out of his way to make him feel better… because he loved him, right? What a weight it was to know that. It was a good thing, he guessed, but still… He must have been causing Nero, his Nero, so much pain as he had fawned over Namihiko for all that time, the one who ended up not accepting or even acknowledging his feelings anyway.

What damage had he done without knowing?

“Won’t allow you?” He asked, absent minded. He looked down again and tried to think of what to say next, but it was difficult to think with this new painful thought in his head. He had to try and shake this. 

“You really care about me, huh? Even after I must have hurt you with the way I acted about Namihiko…” He continued to stare into the table. “I don’t get how you could be so…” He took a deep breath. “Kind to me after that.”

[theseductivekouhai]

     A sigh left the blonde’s lips. There the other went... thinking so much that his head started to hurt. Overthinking things, and blaming himself for things he could not control.       A small chuckle rose up in the blonde’s throat. It was kind of cute-- really.      “How I could be kind to you...? Again-- it’s because I love you.” 

    “When your as old as I am, you find peace in merely being in your loved one. That alone is enough to satisfy me.” Smiling now, he paused for a moment. Halting his laughter. “I knew that you cared deeply for Namihiko. I had no problem with that. I knew that your connection to him was far deeper than mine could ever go. Instead of try and force my way into your heart-- I let it be. I let it be like it should be. Let you make your own decisions, form your own emotions and opinions of me.” A sigh left the blonde’s lips. “Although it did hurt a bit to be called obnoxious and an annoyance... I brought that upon myself with the countless acts and lies, so the blame there falls upon my shoulders. Not yours.” Walking over, he kneeled down in front of the purplette. 

    “Listen... during this time-- for a long time, I was trying to move past my feelings for your comfort. So that if you ever did find out, you wouldn’t feel burdened. It was also for myself but... that is beside the point.” Smiling again, the blonde took one of the other’s hands in his. “I’m kind to you because I wish to be. Because I love you, and want you to be happy. I will do anything to make that happen. Even change myself in the process.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ Shou sighed softly, looking up at Nero as he walked away, shaking his head. “I still feel guilty… regaurdless.” He pressed his face to his hand. Ah, could he never be okay with thinking about himself? Apparently not. The more he reminded himself that he was doing this all for himself, the worse he felt. 

“Even when you say that, I still feel an enormous weight.” He sighed. “Either way…” He shook his head. “I don’t know how to feel right now, about my choices or anything. All I can think is that I am selfish…very selfish…and I don’t know how acceptable it all is.” He shook his head. “Is it ever really acceptable for me to  be like this?”

[theseductivekouhai]

     “Of course it is. It always was, and never won’t be.” Turning now, Nero leaned against the sink as he spoke. “However, there are people like me that will try to show you the truth of the matter. That your not a weight upon anyones shoulders. Your a person that stands by their side. Not a burden, nor a weight.” 

     A small smile had made it’s way onto Nero’s face as he spoke. Showing his sincerity.      “I know you feel guilty, and I know you feel as though your selfish. However, my love for you won’t allow me to leave you like that. Won’t allow me to leave you in such a state. At least not this time.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ Shou nodded, looking down and taking a deep breath. Though Nero seemed to be fine with all that he was doing, Shou was slightly burdened by his own actions. Yes, he had made this choice for himself. To get away from everyone while he was trying to sort things out, but he felt so guilty. He felt even more guilty thinking that Nero had feelings for him and he just didn’t know how he felt toward him kind of bugged him. 

“I guess that’s nice to know, but…there’s still a degree of guilt knowing how I’m acting is entirely self-centered right now.” Shou was never one to be all that selfish, no matter how hard he tried.  He always ended up trying to help people even if he had made it clear he didn’t want to give up what he had to others, etc.

“I don’t know how to be self-centered without feeling guilty.”

[theseductivekouhai]

     “... You really can’t be I suppose--” Another sigh escaped the blonde’s lips. “However, all the same it sometimes becomes necessary for you to do things for yourself. To be self-centered.” Standing up from the table now-- Nero picked up both of their plates. Taking them over to the sink to wash them. 

    “I know that you will feel guilty about it. However, at least for me personally, I am fine with you being self-centered. It’s merely how people are. Even if you try your best to not be so-- sometimes you merely have to give in and... rest for a while.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ “Still…” He sighed. “That really wasn’y my point but…alright, if you say so. As long as your feelings aren’t hurt I guess… I’d rather not hurt you if I can help it.” He sounded a bit distressed by needing to say that, but he continued to munch until he was done with his food before looking at Nero again. Looking away almost immedeatly. A bit of guilt in his look.

“Whether there’s a lot on my mind or not, Nero… its no excuse for my actions. It really isn’t.  There are some things I know that I might do that are unacceptable, so don’t make excuses for me, alright?” He sighed. “I don’t need my actions to be made excuses for… There’s no excuse for how I am acting and I know that. I just figured I would be better off not bothering anyone.” He looked down, mumbling most of his words now. 

[theseductivekouhai]

     “... No-- I did get the point of it...” Another sigh-- “Just... I don’t want you to feel any pressure in terms of my feelings for you. Weather it is to return them, or reject them. Do with them as you like, it won’t change anything-- nor will it hurt me. Thats what I’m saying...” Chewing on his food-- he soon finished as well. Staring down at his hands. 

    “I’m not... making excuses for you per-say-- more like I’m explaining the reason behind your actions. Weather it is excusable or not is not for me to decide.” Looking up at him now-- he paused a moment before speaking again. “However... at least to me-- your not doing anything wrong or immoral.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ “I see…” He looked down and shrugged, eating some more. So it was an accident due to being here, out of his time. Visiting a time that had long since passed. This must have been a lot for him.

“Its okay, you know?” He muttered. “After Namihiko chose Kenneth over me, I felt that no one would ever care that way for me ever, and it hurt me so much… well, hearing that made me feel  bit better. I’m just…not sure how to react. To think someone that I thought liked teasing me and sometimes wanted to help me out of some guilt really felt something for me instead… “ Shou sighed. 

“I’m sorry if that hurt your feelings.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

     “It’s fine. I don’t expect you to return my feelings-- not with the way I acted during this time...” A sigh escaped his lips-- “I am nothing if not realistic. I know where I stand with you, especially during this point in time.”

    “It doesn’t hurt my feelings. Don’t worry about it.” Plus... the Shou in the past and the future had returned his feelings... it was okay if this one didn’t. “... Plus... right now, I know there is a lot on your mind. A lot that you have to deal with. So it’s alright.” 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ Shou nodded and looked at Nero with an understanding gaze. He got that the other had to let him know he would be there, even if he didn’t take him up on that offer… at least for now, after all.

“That’s good. I’m glad you’ve adapted.” He sighed and looked up. “Well, I do. I really like sushi, especially spicy tuna. Did I never tell you that? That seems like something I would have said at some point…” He blinked and looked down again in thought. Had he really not told Nero that in his lifetime?

[theseductivekouhai]

     “I don’t recall it...” The blonde thought for a moment-- “Than again, there are countless memories circulating in my head-- it’s hard to keep track of them all... I sometimes mix them up-- ” Glancing away from the purplette-- a bit of pink rose to the blonde’s cheeks. “Thats... um-- how I accidentally confessed to you earlier--” 

    “...” Cue awkward chewing of his sandwich. 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ “If you say so…” He muttered softly. Trying his best to push his thoughts aside, but being who he was, it was hard to do. All he could do was attempt to focus on the conversation and answer Nero instead of staring off into space, wallowing in his thoughts of what he was doing wrong by doing this, now that Nero had brought those facts up.

“I can try and leave it to you, but you know better than others that I think too much, and things bother me to no end… like, always.” He looked at the plate as it got close him him and his expression cheered up a tiny bit. Clearly Nero wasn’t exactly the same in this future form, and for some reason, this small detail of him presenting him with human food made him a tad bit happier. Distracting him from his thoughts. 

“Thanks for making me food.” He tanked him before pulling the plate closer. Somewhat staring absently at the plate for a small amount of time before beginning to eat, though he clearly was staring out into space still as he did so. His mind wanting to wander regardless of how he knew he shouldn’t allow it to. 

[theseductivekouhai]

      “I know you will-- but I must at least say this to you. So that you know.” Picking up his sandwich, he took a bite out of it. Waiting until after he’d swallowed to speak once again. “No problem. Its the least I can do for allowing me to stay here.” 

     “... and rest assured-- I don’t eat raw meat anymore...” A slight shiver went down his spine. “Excluding sushi though, of course... Although I’m not sure if you even like that.” The blonde was trying to distract himself now-- making idle conversation. 

[theseductivekouhai]

A Stray || Closed

[magicandmysterymanor]

♔ Shou listened, staring at Nero at first, but before long he found himself gazing back out into space as he listened. It was almost expected that Nero would understand him due to how he probably had to live, considering human lives were so short, among other things, but until now it hadn’t really hit him that Nero was hurting all that badly. Wondering why, he could only figure it was because he always smiled and teased him that he hadn’t really thought about what the other was feeling. Thinking about that, that was probably rather stupid of him, but still… 

“I see…” He tried to talk, but he was suddenly feeling a bit guilty. “I guess…” He took a deep breath. He had taken isolation as his method of dealing with his pain too. Just differently than Nero. He couldn’t fake a smile all that well, or hide when he was feeling shitty like Nero could, at least, the Nero he had come to know until now had. 

Still…

“I don’t know what you’ve been through, but as I said…its your choice if you stay or not.” He didn’t know what else to say as he slowly started to rest his head on his hands, which soon became him laying his head down on the table with his arms over his head as he felt some strong feeling of guilt well up within him. He was so selfish, wasn’t he? He had never thought of his actions as being that way before… why now was it just coming to him that he may have been being that way?

[theseductivekouhai]

     “I know-- and I’m choosing to stay here as long as you need me to.” The blonde began. Picking up two plates of sandwiches and carrying them over to the table. “... It is best if you never know what I’ve been through, honestly.” A sigh enacted from his lips. Tucking a bit of hair behind his ear. “Even so... that goes without saying that I brought this fate upon myself.” Looking directly at the other now-- Nero’s expression was blank. It was a mask. 

    “I chose this fate. I chose to hide everything from you. Hide it from everyone. I can tell by the look on your face that your mulling over useless things that cannot be changed. I will remain the way I am-- and my choices will remain what they are. My fate is inevitable-- so I chose to go along with it without struggle. Makes it easier that way.”      “... However, your fate is not like that. It’s malleable. Flexible. Changeable. I want to change at least this one dark spot in your fate... It’s one that I know I can change. I knew back in this time that it was... but-- I remained far away. That is one of my biggest regrets.”       Scooting a plate closer to the other-- he pulled one closer to himself as well.      “I am merely righting one of my wrongs. Don’t worry about useless things-- and merely leave it to me.” The blonde said, a ghost of a smile appearing on his lips.