my heart, so full

DOWN TO ONE SIMPLE TRUTH: i want you too much.

[thesehandsfic]

thesehands on ao3 | @ahotknife on tumblr

"i have nothing to give but my heart so full, and these empty hands." -- louisa may alcott

frequently nsfw | minors dni | & they're in love!

the raven cycle | heated rivalry | other

navigate: fic rec | asks

[thesehandsfic]

I would follow you anywhere, case in point I am down a fic rabbit hole about Some Guys I know absolutely nothing about thanks

thank you for joining me in this rabbit hole. let me know if you want more recs

[drivestraight]

SIGNIFICANT LOVER | willmack, 8 chapters, 110k

While on IR, Will gets a boyfriend.

special ty to @scuderlia as always for helping craft this beautiful boyfriendverse with me…

fic cover by @apollothyme ty forever my love ❤️

internalized homophobia, internalized biphobia, and ENDGAME WILLMACK!!!!!

blurb:

Mack hated himself for feeling this way, but he couldn’t help it. A part of him hates Will, for having to mess it all up. He doesn’t mind that Will’s gay. It just would’ve been so much easier if he wasn’t.

NOW COMPLETE.

[cathedralight]

BAD BELIEVER

by cathedralight

‣ the raven cycle ‣ adam parrish/ronan lynch ‣ chapter 5 of 7 ‣ rated E

CHAPTER FIVE: ACT OF CONTRITION

Ronan had gone to Mass at St. Agnes since he was a child, but he'd never paid attention to who she was. The word virgin martyr had held no weight to him. It only occurred to him to look her up the summer that Adam moved into the apartment upstairs. Ronan had seen the church with new eyes, like Adam’s mere presence had transformed the building into a proper holy vessel. He’d discovered that St. Agnes of Rome had viewed her physical body as sacred. Even when faced with death, she remained devoted to Jesus and protected her purity. Men attempted to violate her, to exert power over her, but in every version of the story, it was no use. She died a virgin martyr. She was only thirteen years old. None of this made any impression on Ronan until he'd leaned onto his chest atop a dreamt Pig and felt a hand graze his spine. Until he'd been unable to move. Until he—

[mean-dom-ilya-week]

calling all mean dom ilya likers of the heated rivalry fandom!

welcome to #meandomilyaweek!

we are a fanweek dedicated to dominant ilya rozanov from heated rivalry, providing a scheduled list of prompts designed for portrayals of ilya assuming a meaner, stricter and/or more controlling role in kink.

this event will be hosted from the 6th of april to the 12th of april, late submissions welcome. all types of fanwork are allowed - fanart, fanfiction, edits, meta posts, etc.

you can find the details and prompt list in the images below (alt text for the images are included). the same information is also included in our website linked here

please use the tag #meandomilyaweek to post your works. fics can also be added to our ao3 collection ('Mean Dom Ilya Week', under the slugname mean_dom_ilya_week): linked here

please direct any questions to our tumblr askbox. have fun and enjoy!

we are also on twitter as @/domilyaweek -> link

prompt list.

about.

frequently asked questions.

[thesehandsfic]

struggle pretty -> by thesehands Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander | E | 19k

Ilya locked his arm around Shane’s throat and drew him up onto his knees. The hold was snug, a real headlock, the kind that would make most men tap out. Shane didn’t tap out, but he stayed very still. His pulse galloped against the juncture of Ilya’s elbow, powerfully enough that Ilya could feel its insistent throbbing. Everything in the room had been pulled taut—the cord of Ilya’s shoulders, the line of Shane’s back, even the air between them had a rigidity to it. Ilya was breathing heavily, panting open-mouthed against Shane’s sweat-damp temple.  “I could fuck you like this,” Ilya said. “I could fuck you right now, like this, not let you breathe, not let you come.”

[thesehandsfic]

How do you put together the collage cover images? They’re always so gorgeous

i use canva! & i get the pictures off pinterest

[thesehandsfic]

struggle pretty -> by thesehands Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander | E | 19k

Ilya locked his arm around Shane’s throat and drew him up onto his knees. The hold was snug, a real headlock, the kind that would make most men tap out. Shane didn’t tap out, but he stayed very still. His pulse galloped against the juncture of Ilya’s elbow, powerfully enough that Ilya could feel its insistent throbbing. Everything in the room had been pulled taut—the cord of Ilya’s shoulders, the line of Shane’s back, even the air between them had a rigidity to it. Ilya was breathing heavily, panting open-mouthed against Shane’s sweat-damp temple.  “I could fuck you like this,” Ilya said. “I could fuck you right now, like this, not let you breathe, not let you come.”

[clytemnestraaa]

do you have any diabolical hr fic recs? trust ur taste

yaaaaaaaay ok idk what u mean by diabolical but. well. look you're following this blog hopefully you have an idea of my sensibilities. if not best of luck. i am not trigger warning these. if there's one you wanna know about or a specific trigger or something u can send another ask but otherwise i'm too lazy. also if u read these come talk to me about them...

a winner at heart by pressuretoparty (you don't need to read the first one, it adds a little but not that much to this honestly. anyways im obsessed with this this is IT this is the big one babey)

holding tightly when you invite me by thesehands (my shaney.....)

plausibly deniable (whoops) by thathastu (my shaney.......... also a GREAT ilya voice)

Dig Two Graves by devovitsuasartes (do you know how satisfying it is to see somebody out there taking all the bullshit reid sets up to its actual logical extremes)

i'll follow where your light goes by countdracilya (another fantastic ilya voice)

virtue theory & mosquito by gone_girl (these arent technically a series but to me they are a series)

In the Sound of Bells by villavona (this has my fav version of irina)

Us until You by chaentics (so unsurprisingly we also do need to kill ilya as it turns out)

[thesehandsfic]

holding tightly when you invite me -> by thesehands Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander | E | 7k

“Actually, uh—“ Shane scratched the back of his neck and dropped his gaze to the floor by Ilya’s chair. “Would you mind if I sucked you off?” “Would I mind?” Ilya asked. “No, I would not mind. You want my cock again that badly, Hollander?” 

[thesehandsfic]

holding tightly when you invite me -> by thesehands Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander | E | 7k

“Actually, uh—“ Shane scratched the back of his neck and dropped his gaze to the floor by Ilya’s chair. “Would you mind if I sucked you off?” “Would I mind?” Ilya asked. “No, I would not mind. You want my cock again that badly, Hollander?” 

[cathedralight]

BAD BELIEVER

by cathedralight

‣ the raven cycle ‣ adam parrish/ronan lynch ‣ chapter 4 of 7 ‣ rated E

CHAPTER FOUR: CONFESSION

Adam's head throbbed. His mind's languor met his high like two dull knives rubbing against each other's edges, a futile attempt at sharpening his ability to think. But he was not sober. He couldn't think. He could only feel, and no feeling filled Adam with dread more than rage. He knew deep down that he was hurt, too, but the anger was louder. Once it crested a peak in his body, he could only ever surrender to it.

“So this is how you tell me?" Adam asked.

[shangyang]

guys mom said it was my turn to make a heated rivalry fic rec post. so here it is.

prarie madness by thathastu | G, ilya/shane, 4.1k, canon divergent

The 2008 World Junior Hockey Championships are hosted in Regina, Saskatchewan, a place with absolutely fucking nothing to do. Ilya and Shane find themselves in each other's company, trying to pass the time.

i cannot describe this as anything but americana-esque, despite the fact that saskatchewan is very much not america. ilya and shane feel SO painfully young here, and it's just so damn good.

apply pads (shock now!) by blongblong | E, ilya/shane, 34.4k, paramedics au, d/s elements

When Paramedic Shane Hollander and EMT Hayden Pike start working nights, they expect to spend their shifts getting fucked over by Response Paramedic—and notorious asshole—Ilya Rozanov. Shane does end up getting fucked, just not in the way he was expecting. (shane just wants to do his job and ride the ambulance. ilya thinks shane should be riding him, instead.)

part one of return of spontaneous circulation | INSANELY HOT. the second part is gorgeously sicknasty CNC that had me sweating. i love the progression of shane and ilya going from mortal enemies to guys who fuck to get out of boring work training sessions to guys who are sickeningly in love. the author is also so clearly a paramedic, it's endearing.

enough by unleaved | T, ilya/shane, 6.4k, magical realism, shane-centric

The best and second-best hockey players in the world are standing in this room, right here, right now. I know who I am. Do you?

this fic revolves around the idea that being a sports star in a city changes you, since cities have magic, and magic is given to those the city (and her people) loves. shane is completely ordinary, despite that. i think this is one of those fics that i can't believe doesn't have more kudos than it does. this author understands shane so well.

you're not a constant star by kisscamcolby (@montrealmetros) | E, ilya/shane, 3.2k, winner's room, period piece

After the Metros win over the Moscow Central Red Army in the 1980 Super Series, Shane picks Ilya as his winner's room forfeit.

guys i LOOOVE a winner's room fic. and i really, really fucking love period pieces, AND hockey history. so this is me geeking out a little (a lot), because footage of the 1976 SS canadiens v. CSKA game is actually what got me into hockey to begin with.

and i want what i want by thesehands (@thesehandsfic) | E, ilya/shane, 14.1k, d/s & bdsm

“Hollander. Relax. So you lost one game,” Ilya said. “Big deal. Win next time.” “It is a big deal,” Shane said. His hands were clenched tightly into fists. “It’s not just the game. You know I can’t afford to fuck up like this, not this close to playoffs. It’s a pretty big deal. Fuck. And it’s my fault. I wasn’t focused. I can play better than that, and I just… didn’t.”  “Okay, your fault, so what?” Ilya shrugged. “You think you should be punished for this?” 

i could genuinely make an entirely different rec list where i just list every single d/s fic that i love from this fandom, on and on, into perpetuity, but this one. ooh this one. to quote my bookmark: jesus, mary, AND joseph. hot! hot! hot!

love takes miles by corsi | T, ilya/shane, 6.9k, outsider pov & epistolary

yara @troycabaret tried to get oomf into hockey and now she's obsessed with FUCKING HOLLANOV? THEY'RE 50 YEARS OLD Or: Ten years, as seen through fandom.

everyone and their mom has probably already read this, but here it is. every time i read it, i'm blown away by how good it is. a really accurate (though much kinder) portrayal of hrpf circles. but now we have to ask the real question: when will hollanov get their own version of 2022's geno contractgate? "only for pittsburgh, always with sid," hollanov edition when?

victory lap by femmecel | T, ilya/shane, 2.5k, tw: gritty

“He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature.” —Madeline Miller or Ilya fights Gritty.

putting this absolutely last, but it is NOT LEAST. ilya beats the shit out of gritty for love, hockey, and most importantly: his man's honor.

[thesehandsfic]

and i want what i want -> by thesehands Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander | E | 14k

“Hollander. Relax. So you lost one game,” Ilya said. “Big deal. Win next time.” “It is a big deal,” Shane said. His hands were clenched tightly into fists. “It’s not just the game. You know I can’t afford to fuck up like this, not this close to playoffs. It’s a pretty big deal. Fuck. And it’s my fault. I wasn’t focused. I can play better than that, and I just… didn’t.”  “Okay, your fault, so what?” Ilya shrugged. “You think you should be punished for this?” 

[thesehandsfic]

and i want what i want -> by thesehands Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander | E | 14k

“Hollander. Relax. So you lost one game,” Ilya said. “Big deal. Win next time.” “It is a big deal,” Shane said. His hands were clenched tightly into fists. “It’s not just the game. You know I can’t afford to fuck up like this, not this close to playoffs. It’s a pretty big deal. Fuck. And it’s my fault. I wasn’t focused. I can play better than that, and I just… didn’t.”  “Okay, your fault, so what?” Ilya shrugged. “You think you should be punished for this?” 

[thesehandsfic]

and i want what i want -> by thesehands Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander | E | 14k

“Hollander. Relax. So you lost one game,” Ilya said. “Big deal. Win next time.” “It is a big deal,” Shane said. His hands were clenched tightly into fists. “It’s not just the game. You know I can’t afford to fuck up like this, not this close to playoffs. It’s a pretty big deal. Fuck. And it’s my fault. I wasn’t focused. I can play better than that, and I just… didn’t.”  “Okay, your fault, so what?” Ilya shrugged. “You think you should be punished for this?” 

[thesehandsfic]

Just thought I’d let you know that I played the “It’s You” song from episode 2 of heated rivalry (which is finally on Spotify) while reading the sex scenes in go running and it was a mild religious experience and now I’m emotionally spent. Thanks! 🙏

hell yeah. experiencing dunkirk the way christopher nolan intended for it to be seen