Sometimes I think too much

I've been writing a lot lately. Songs, poetry and just general thoughts. I figured I should be putting them somewhere... So they'll be going here. Enjoy ~

[thesethoughts0fmine]

Troubled waters and scattered thoughts

My mind is as troubled waters

Touched by the breath of the wind.

There is unsettlement which I cannot escape.

Though I feel a deep unhappiness at the thought,

I cannot squeeze from its grasping fingers.

Tendrils of uncertainty coil about my form

Threatening to enter within;

Even as I begin to know who I am,

They twist and turn turbulently.

How can I overcome these shards of curiosity

Embedded deep in my soul...

Shall I yank them out one by one

And face the depths of my debalancement?

Looking into the pinholes of darkness

What will I see returning my fearful gaze?

Will the eyes of the truth unravel me completely

Or will I overcome their powerful aura?

How am I to know unless I try.

Perhaps it is unwise...

But what else is there for us in these short lives we live?

Reality cannot be ignored - it will suffocate you with it's inevitability

Whether you have the strength to stand its current

Or not.

[thesethoughts0fmine]

This silence is excruciating...

I miss the gentle sound of your breathing...

[thesethoughts0fmine]

imagine if memories didnt exist imagine how different life would be we would be forced to literally live in the moment every second you forget what you were doing it would be almost like watching a movie playing but that movie is your life and you're the main character everything that happened before the current moment would be blank lost in infinity... i think that our brains would have to be able to retain information like who a person is where you need to be in the morning during midday at night and how to walk and talk and eat what values are how to apply values otherwise we wouldn't even be functional we'd end up like animals living by instinct only but... isn't that how it already is?

- yea..

[thesethoughts0fmine]

i feel like when walking is one of the best times to think about life especially if you're alone listening to music its a though you're watching a story book unfold before you every person has their own life their own thoughts their own dreams their own past, present, and future everyone is so complex but even so we are all connected by the same fate i like to sometimes imagine everyone as beacons of light and that light is pouring upward into the sky everyone has their own upside down waterfall of light and i can look around and see the lights shining out from everywhere. cars, houses, and high up in the sky somewhere, a plane is emanating a giant amount of light... the only question i can't seem to answer is.. where do these lights lead to?

- it's 3am and my mind is busy

[thesethoughts0fmine]

there's deep dark corners of my mind that I don't want to explore but sometimes you must retreat into those corners in order to escape the blunt reality of our world... and I'm okay with that whereas most people are not.

-idk

[thesethoughts0fmine]

Imagine if people lived in giant pools of water that extended across the sky over the clouds and the pools would be contained by glass walls... through which you could see every time of day and every colour that the sky creates ... and then at night you could turn over and there you could see ... the whole galaxy... and you could just... float along for ever in that dreamlike world just above the clouds

- i dont know

[bl-letters-i-never-sent-deactiv]

…I think of him every day. The little things remind me of him. Things I wouldn’t expect to hurt so bad… Hearing or reading something we promised to each other… or something we agreed on… Things my friends say that they don’t realize send a shot of pain to my heart… Sometimes a song will come on and I’ll be thrown into the past. And sometimes there are people around me when that happens; I contain myself in those moments… but sometimes there aren’t. That’s when it starts to hurt uncontrollably… and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and let my eyes cry themselves out. But still, it’s only a tenth of what I felt when I thought I lost him. It’s only a tenth of that earth shattering pain. The tears are but a drizzle compared to the waterfall that I couldn’t control on that horrible day. And maybe… Just maybe… As time goes by, that pain will lessen. Maybe, just maybe… The tears will start to fall in individual droplets that come far apart. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to listen to those songs again. Maybe I’ll finally be able to see his name and not ache. Maybe I’ll love like that again… And maybe you will too.

maybe… (via im-sad-lets-have-sex)

-dreaming0fdaylight

(via dreaming0fdaylight)

[cylindricaldog]

First love is scary because it’s like “holy crap, why is this person the first thing I think of in the morning, why am I disappointed when I don’t dream of them? Why is the desire to be with them so much stronger than hunger and thirst and exhaustion? Why does their name look so pretty written down? Why do I feel like I just fell out of a 30 story building when they look at me, and why do I like it?” And you become so comfortable with them that when they leave, your body doesn’t know how to react because they were as common to you as breathing, and now you’re missing a vital part of yourself. You forget that you were someone before them. You think “I was so empty until I met them.” No, you were full. And when you learned about love, you were fuller. Now you’re back to where you were before, and you need to fill yourself with other things. Fall in love with the way sunflowers naturally curve to face the sun, and the way children have no idea about taxes. Fall in love with the fact that you’re here and you’re still able to feel. Fall in love with the idea that you’re still whole, even when it’s 3 am and you can’t remember how to breathe because you think they taught you how to do that.

Lessons about Heartbreak from a Hypocrite by Megan M.  (via im-sad-lets-have-sex)

[thesethoughts0fmine]

How can I expain What I’m feeling I’m so mixed up inside I can’t let it out Not as simply as I would like to But I want you to know more than anything I know that I should let you know About these conflicting feelings But I don’t want to let you go Not just yet Cause then I’ll be lonely Oooo Baby I want to tell you But I just can’t seem to Hmmm Darling I’m so confused And I want to Be with you But… I don’t know how Back to the start When I didn’t have a broken heart I wish that you could’ve been the one To experience my virgin love Because darling maybe I would’ve been able to love you properly But for now I’m searching endlessly For someone who broke me… And now I don’t want to Love him anymore But I can’t help it I’m injured like no one you’ve had before Or maybe you have but mine is different Look at me See my empty streets I am so frozen inside I want to Let go already But I’m stuck Not in the past times Hey there Send me a smile Maybe it’ll cheer me for a while But warning If I let you get inside My mind You’ll be trapped there That’s what I do I break you Without meaning to Every time Ohh Yeaah – yeah Hmmm- hmm- hmm Do you hear this shaking in my bones It’s there all the time I’m so broken and torn I’m so lost I could let the flood loose any moment And drown you with it But believe me That’s not what I want I wish I could just be strong But my heart is still broken in two I thought it was healed by you But you’re not the right kind of glue I need a different you You’re not the one I’m searching for You’re not the arms that I adore I need someone who will love me for me Who will never stop loving me endlessly Someone like me but happier I need someone who finds me beautiful To make up for how little I believe it Fill me up I am an empty cup Fill me with your love or your sorrows I will listen endlessly With eyes and heart wide open baby But still… Lift me up Carry me in your arms I’m won’t weigh you down I promise Carry me through fields of glory And blazing trees of life I need someone who has the same thirsts Looks for beauty in the world Not someone who wants to break it down I need someone who will laugh at my tears Make me overjoice over the years And I don’t think you’re that person I’m sorry But I tried Harder this time …. It’s just not you … it’s me

I was improvising on the guitar and the lyrics just flowed. Got them on a recording.

[dailydoseofstuf]

[thesethoughts0fmine]

So many souls all around Each one following their own fate Some screaming so loud But not a single other can hear We get lost in our own thoughts So much that we forget those of others Open your eyes Notice how vast this world is And how small we all are. My thoughts keep turning along this path And it's overwhelming to think Though it's only the truth We drink, we drive, we smoke But these things make us forget That we are all going to succumb to the same fate And there's absolutely nothing we can do to change that Sunken cheeks and shallow thoughts We contain the thoughts that hurt us most And kill the ones that would help us We forget.

- don't forget

[thesethoughts0fmine]

I'm floating through reality as though it's all part of a dream. No longer feeling as though I exist on this earth... But do I ever? None of us truly exist, do we? We're only particles floating around until we implode; until our clocks stop ticking. Tick tock go the clocks of our lives. We think they'll never stop but there's no way for them to keep turning into the end of time... Some are destined to be halted before they reach their end. Some will cease after only a short term. So many different ways for them to break. So many ways for us to break...

- deep thoughts

[voguelovesme]

One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.

John Green  (via schlafwandel)

Now that this has 500,000 notes, I should probably reiterate that I never said or wrote this. This is a quote from the series finale of the television program One Tree Hill.

(via fishingboatproceeds)

[coral]

If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character…Would you slow down? Or speed up?

Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters (via feellng)

[thesethoughts0fmine]

Look about you, See the people, Look at their expressions, Loneliness becomes them. Beautiful thoughts, sad thoughts. Immersed in their own worlds. Why be selfish? Why be kind? Endless questions running through their minds. Stop these individual thoughts. Think about how huge the world is. Think of what created our image of everything. Don't let yourself float into the clouds Otherwise you'll only have to come back down.

[date]

[dreaming0fdaylight]

I have noticed that when all the lights are on, people tend to talk about what they are doing – their outer lives. Sitting round in candlelight or firelight, people start to talk about how they are feeling – their inner lives. They speak subjectively, they argue less, there are longer pauses. To sit alone without any electric light is curiously creative. I have my best ideas at dawn or at nightfall, but not if I switch on the lights – then I start thinking about projects, deadlines, demands, and the shadows and shapes of the house become objects, not suggestions, things that need to done, not a background to thought.

Jeanette Winterson, Why I adore the night (via dreaming0fdaylight)