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@theshelteredscorpion
Why Wait for the New Year to Make A Change?
Why Wait for the New Year to Make AĀ Change?
Itās that time of year again where people gather together to start off binge drinking season to take the fact that the date has changed and reinvent themselves. (moreā¦)
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Code-Switching
Ā Code switching occurs when you switch between languages, language varieties etc. Code switching isnāt just about switching up the way you speak. Itās also the way you carry yourself, the way you act as well as the way you dress. Still donāt get it? you know how white women almost ALWAYS come back with cornrows or some type of beaded hair style when they return from Jamaica? Like that. Itāsā¦
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Guys, Iām posting this selfie because I posted a mini post about being a black girl and how I used to hate the color of my skin to how I now LOVE IT. Iāll try to make it a biographical journey for you guys as Iām still sorting out the details of my posts. But, do go to the page and give it a like and a comment! Iāll leave the link in my bio! . . . . . #blackgirlmagic #melanin #melaninpoppin #blackgirlsrock #gabrielleunion #youreprettyforadarkskingirl #blogger #lover #blackhair #loveyourself #confidence #wordpress #issarae #facebeat (at Island of Montreal) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnzoR_PBPQL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=194qr8ubr3nfk
Dark-Skinnted
Growing up I aspired to be white. To be of a lighter skin tone. Hell, I came home one day and wanted to be called Ashley. (moreā¦)
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Let's Talk About Sex!
Letās Talk About Sex!
Can we talk about why your purity is detrimental as you get older? A coworker some months back revealed to me that they were online dating. I saw this as a great thing, I was happy for them. I began to feel confused when they whispered in an ashamed tone that they were still a virgin. I looked at them with a blank stare and was confused as to why she was whispering? A part of me was upset becauseā¦
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Is it a dealbreaker?? Itās Sunday so you know what that means. Link in bio! . . . . . #youtube #family #blackgirlmagic #vlogger #love #topics #hottopic #intercultural #dating #hard #sundayfunday #sunday #montreal #parentsjustdontunderstand #makeup #eyebrowsonfleek #katvond #MTALKS #letstalk #dealbreaker #muslim #christian #white #black #brown
Single During the Holidays.
Single During theĀ Holidays.
So about a year ago I wrote a blog post about how itās okay to do things on your own because you donāt need to have company to enjoy an Adele concert. About a year later and I still feel that way. (moreā¦)
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How I Got on The Daily Show (*And that's how I choose to remember it.)
(Bear with me with my grammar today because Iām jacked on caffeine and I want to tell you something.)
So when I was 20 I went and saw my first Upright show alone and I ended up standing in the audience because it was so damn crowded. And I think I saw this Derrick Comedy improv montage and they were just killing it and I walked out of that show being like, āOh damn. That ruled. This is exactly where I need to be.ā
So I just started going to a bunch of UCB shows and just started watching.
And I went back to my parents and was like, āHey guys. I need to take classes. Like, I HAVE TO. THIS IS MY DREAM. AND LIKE, DONāT SHIT ON MY DREAMS BECAUSE IMMA GONNA BE A STAR. (haha. no i didnāt.)ā And they were very understanding so they were both like, āWe get it. Go after that shit girl.ā So I just kind of threw myself in UCB classes too. Improv and sketch. Then there were Maude team auditions. And I remember auditioning for that and getting on a UCB House team. I was so stoked when I got the phone call saying that I had gotten on Maude I like, really jumped around my living room and lost my shit. So then I started to do shows around the theatre for a while. If anybody around the UCB theatre asked me to take any part in their own shows I would jump at it and just be like, āYes. Absolutely.ā Because at that point I was pretty much going HAM on the whole UCB thing.
The other pretty strange thing is that I was still in college. To be honest I do think that college was something I slacked off of a bit just because I liked performing so much. For example, I remember one semester I convinced my parents to let me go part time so that I could count one credit of a UCB improv class toward my class load. I would sometimes rush out to Hollywood from Long Beach in between classes to go to a rehearsal whether it be in my UCB show or somebody elseās. Comedy was always sort of my focus, not school. Another thing I remember not doing was partying very hard. Like, there could be some wild party in the dorms on a Tuesday night to celebrate like, āThe invention of Ramenā and I remember just being like, āAh fuck..no I have a show tomorrow I canāt be hungover for it.ā Like, I kind of didnāt have a wild social life for a while.
So I think I joined UCB when I was twenty and I stuck with that for a couple of years. It was incred. Did a few shows, started working on a solo show, did a pilot I got fired from and also did a couple of pilots that did not get picked up. All in two years. And one dope day, when I finally decided that I would commit myself to finishing school andĀ to being an English major and that I would focus on being a normal person, I get an audition with Alison Jones who is probably one of the dopest casting directors out there.
She suggested that I send in a tape for the Daily Show. You know my attitude by now- jump at anything. I said, āHell yes!ā And a week later I was in her office putting two correspondent chats down on tape. I remember catching the Daily Show when it was on, but I wasnāt watching it crazily everyday. My thought was that I did not want to look up the correspondent chats on the internet because I did not want like, Jon Oliver in my head during my audition. So we finished recording the tape and I forgot about it and went back to focusing on school because finals were coming up and we all know how the last 3 weeks of school are.
About a week later I was in line at Panda Express and I was about to order a Panda Bowl with Orange Chicken and I was chatting away with my best friend about how much I love food and blah blah blah. And I got a call from my manager and she was like, āHey hold on to your boobies (nope, she said seat). Jon saw your tape and he wants you to fly to NY in a couple of days to audition with him in the studio.ā And the world stopped. And it felt like my stomach dropped into my asshole. And I was like, āNUH-UH! ME? YOUāRE FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT?ā And I just couldnāt even believe it.
And two mornings later my parents are standing with me in the driveway, where a black SUV with tinted windows comes to pick me up to take me to LAX. And my Dad is loading up my one suitcase with the fucking Dress suit my Mom used the last of her money to buy me from TJ Maxx. And my Mom is kissing me and telling me how proud she is of me. And my Dad is telling me to go have fun and just knock it out. And I remember looking at my parentās when my car turned the corner and just being like, āThis is a dream. What is happening to me?ā And I get on a plane and Iām flying to NY. So all during this particular flight, Iām like, trying not to psych myself out. Because I know Iām about to do this audition. And I know that I am about to meet Jon Stewart. And I hope to God he is not scary. And I stay awake the whole flight just going over the chat over and over again.
So I get to the Daily Show studio the next morning. And itās freezing because itās November in NYC and I grew up in sunny Los Angeles and this NY weather is fucking insane. And I walk in wearing my very awkward TJ Maxx Suit (With my green hair.) up to the studio. When I get inside, a couple of people greet me. I get past security and they take me to the Green room. So for a few minutes Iām just sitting and waiting and going over my chat. Finally one of the producers comes down and is like, āAlright letās go to the studio.ā And so I go to the Daily Show studio and it is the most surreal experience in my life. And I run my chat on those teleprompters like, at least 5 times. And I finally feel ready. Everyone was fantastic in making sure that I felt comfortable. And theyāre like, āOkay. You ready? Letās bring Jon down here.ā And all of the previous teleprompter confidence I had gained went away just at the thought of knowing that I was about to meet Jon Stewart. Would he be nice? Mean? Weird? Hungry? Like, my mind was going koo-koo bananas. And the first thing I hear when he enters the studio is that heās singing. Jon Stewart is fucking singing. Singing. What it was I canāt remember because I wanted to pee myself because of my nerves. But I remember thinkingā¦ Wow. This dude is singing what a familiar thing for someone to do to make me comfortableā¦.okay maybe I can relax a bit. And he shakes my hand and he says, that today shouldnāt be too crazy. All I have to focus on is doing what I did on the tape that he saw.
Thatās it! Could you imagine, all of those shitty job interviews at the mall that I had done previously where my American Apparel interviewer worked harder to intimidate me than to make me feel comfortable? What a great gift it is to give to someone and just be like, āLook, relax. Just do what you know how to do. Thatās it.ā What an amazing thing. That freed up so much more of the anxiety I had. And so we ran the chat. A couple of times. He gave me notes. We did the chat again.The next thing I know I am back on the plane flying back home and I was just thinking, āWHAT IN THE WORLD JUST HAPPENED TO ME?!ā
A couple of days laterĀ I found out I got the job. And that they wanted me to move to NYC in a few weeks.To be a new correspondent on the show. And full time. I am, actually the luckiest girl in the world. Six months in and I can say that it is fucking incredible dopeness to be here. You donāt even want to know what my first few months on the show was like. Well, maybe you do. So Iāll tell you sometime very very soon.
And You Know it.
Jess
*Rilo Kiley.
It's one thing, struggling while you're a woman in North America. It's another thing, being a black woman...PERIOD. @amandaseales @yarashahidi . . . . . #BLM #āš¾ #blativity #blacklivesmatter #blogger #women #womenempowerment #passion #repsost
Hire Me, Please?
So, apparently you need job experience to get a job. Sounds pretty legit right? But, what comes first, the chicken or the egg? In the last three years Iāve noticed that in order to get job experience, you need to get a job. That makes no sense but all the sense in the world. For those of you who donāt know, I want to get a job writing for a website or a start-up company anything in editorial.ā¦
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Fads: Spinning right round like a record
Fads: Spinning right round like aĀ record
Can we talk about these fidget spinners though? As a millennial, part Gen X, Iām so confused. Fidget Spinnersā¦are they a fad? Do they need to be capitalized when being used in a text? Whatās good? (moreā¦)
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I Tried A Way of Life...Hygge
I Tried A Way of Lifeā¦Hygge
Ā So this week, I decided for some reason it was a good idea to go hygge (hoo-gÉ). So I decided to grab a copy of The Little Book of Hygge: The Danish Way to Live Well by Meik Wiking and read up on this lifestyle trend. Hygge is all about the art of getting cozy, about togetherness other forms of happiness. (moreā¦)
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Dark-Skinned Black Women and the Stigma (Chapter 1)
In the last couple of years have I really come to love the color of my skin and my blackness. In the last couple of months, I also began to notice a harsh reality that I never accepted was true. That there is a stigma towards darker black women and lighter black women. Iām not exactly sure if this applies to other women of color from other cultures, but I always noticed the difference betweenā¦
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Tuesday
Happy Valentineās Day everyone! While most of us are just now waking up to lovely texts from our significant others and the rest of the population goes to work because itās Tuesday, I decided to get some writing in. (moreā¦)
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Unqualified Advice
Easier said than done. Is probably one of the truest sayings that no one truly understands but deep down they do. Last night a couple of friends of mine were discussing the unfortunate topic of love. (moreā¦)
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2016, bye Felicia.Ā
So, on the last day on 2016 I must admit that I am sure as fuck glad that it is over. But that doesnāt mean that New Yearās Day is going to be any better either and that just because that a new year has started it means that there is a whole new year of opportunitiesā¦I find that to be total crap. Iām still going to feel anxious and forever alone once the clock strikes midnight. Even more so as Iā¦
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words and stuff.
This is my fourth attempt tonight to write something and god-damnit itās getting written! A lot of the time I like to write about things that happen in my life and how I am feeling and the life lessons I like to give myself. Most times I donāt write a lot because Iām afraid that the people I talk about will get offended, even though it is not my intention or I just feel mad petty. But then I gotā¦
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